WHY AM I “CUTTING MYSELF” ?

We are living within a pressure driven society! There is a myriad of social pressures that are imposed on one to make them feel the need to fit in. This can at times cause undue stress and result in unfavorable behavior. These behaviors are not readily discussed but are becoming more prevalent! Fitting in is not easy and makes it harder to transition through the stages of youth and early adulthood development. For some it is much more difficult than others. As a matter of fact we have a growing number of individuals that are self mutilating themselves in order to relieve intense inner pressure. Self injury is on the rise!

What? Yes, they harm themselves; they are a part of the growing number that leans towards cutting themselves. Growing up can be painful and difficult! Did you know that not being like everyone else really is okay! Once you accept this you won’t have to cut yourself to feel okay! Everyone still on this side of Heaven is here to learn and grow… You are like a beautiful flower waiting to bloom!

What is cutting?

Cutting is when someone takes a blunt object, pin, paper clip, scissors or a razor blade and proceeds to make cuts on their wrists, arms, legs, thighs or torso to the point that they bleed. Some will even burn themselves or harm themselves in some other way. This is usually done in a place that is less noticeable! It is becoming an increasing reoccurring behavior that can become addicting. It often goes unnoticed because the self mutilator will make excuses for the cuts and bruises or try very hard to keep them hidden by making excuses. Oh the cat scratched me, or I fell in the bushes, i slipped, or I scraped myself on the… Cutting is considered an impulse – control behavior reaction!

Who cuts themselves?

Cutting is something that is done by both genders. It appears that female teens and younger women are primarily the predominate participators. However there are a growing number of guys who cut themselves as well. There are a number of reasons why they result to such drastic measures. Some cut because they know that their friends cut themselves. One viable cause that jumps out is the need for inner, “relief!” They are tormented and driven by thier pain. These individuals feel and enormous amount of pressure!

Books on Cutting

Someone who is cutting can’t always freely express themselves and they often feel as though they are emotionally knotted up. The need for a release is why they begin cutting. Some like the way the cuts look and when they begin to heal will reopen the cuts. You can’t really force someone to stop cutting. So what do you do? Lend a listening ear and let them know that you care! Yelling at someone who is cutting is not very helpful. Approaching them with patience and concern is a much better method if you really want to help them. Be firm in letting them know that they need to get some relief; but in a healthier way. Allow them some time to vent… Encourage them to seek help!

Signs of Cutting

There are a few signs that you might notice such as …………Continue Reading

Music for Healing – “Balm In Gilead”

SEXtexting And TEENS

 Keeping The Lines of Communication Open

SEXtexting & TEENS   

Do you have TEENS?

Living in this audacious, adventurous 21st century with all its technological advances has its advantages. You can keep the lines of communication open or stay in constant contact with anyone at anytime, just about anywhere in the world. You can call, talk, track or text message when you have the right, GPS system, computer, cell phone, I pod, television, blue tooth ear piece,  Nintendo DSI, mobile devices or some other…

How often do you get a text?

On the other hand it is hard for some to just “be” in the moment, because they are always texting and calling someone else while in your presence. Their attention is divided between you and somewhere or some else? The quality of time spent is usually minimized. They have a hard time just being in the moment or giving their undivided attention to what’s going on “right now”.  Having the capability to be accessible is great.  But I believe it is really getting out of hand. Perhaps there should be some “rules of etiquette ” honored and accountability exercised when alone or while in public or in the presence of others? And what about the teens?

Reina Hardesty is a 13 year young teen, from Southern California, who is an amazing, creative, prolific texter. How she ever managed to get anything else done?  She actually sent approximately 500 texts daily that totaled 14,528 text in one month. It is a good thing that her father had unlimited texting plan. Otherwise, at 20 cents per text his bill would have been somewhere around a whopping $2,905 !!!   After this her parents  set some boundaries “no texting after dinner”.

I wonder what this does as far as their  overall health is concerned?  How much healthy sleep can one get? How much time for homework or anything else for that matter? Is texting addicting? At what point is it considered so…

 Wait there’s more!  Emilee Cox, another witty, vivacious, energetic, teen texter who is 14 years young, has smashed Reina’s record. At 74 text per each hour she was awake, she texted over 35,000 text in one month.   She also manages to get good grades. 

Miley Cyrus who is a popular teen idol, favorite hobby is going shopping. She really likes Chinese Food and watching “High School Musical with her sisters. But apparently the famous Miiley Cyrus  and her  older boyfriend were caught texting during Church service.  They thought they were being discreet  “They were not only busted but…”

It is important that we keep the lines of communication open with our teenagers. Peer pressure is real. There is always something lurking to pull them off track. For emergencies it is fantastic! We should be concerned. They need guidance. The ability to stay in contact is a plus. But here too we also need some “rules of etiquette. ” These 21st century teens have taken texting to a whole new level.

Here are a few more stats,

*Texting of this nature is nothing new. According to a 2008 Nielsen study, teenagers between the ages of 13 to 17 “ to an average of 1,742 texts a month.

Sextexting is also becoming a growing trend among teens.  Sextexting is when revealing photos or messages are sent across a cell phone. It is actuallly flirting with danger. You do not always know how large or who your audience really is. Teens that are caught could possibly be prosecuted as sex offenders. Unknowingly they send pictures or messages with improper content that once they have been published they cannot be retrieved. it is just not a good idea to get so personal anyway. On many occasions they have sent messages to a friend, who sent it to a friend and that friend sent it to … Right now this is even being pursued by some prosecutors to possibly be considered as “child pornography”. So it is important to have a serious chat with them about being careful in this area. Nothing more than “G” rated texting allowed!

Oprah Winfrey recently dedicated a whole television show to the perils of America’s newest “OBSESSION” = texting while driving! Did you know that when you text or use a cell phone while driving you significantly increase the chances of having an accident? It is the equivalent of having 4 drinks while driving! You are driving with a decreased attention span. It is called “Distracted Driving! “ You are not only putting your life in jeopardy but the lives of many others as well! The show is inclusive of many who have experienced the consequences of someone using a cell phone while driving. The statistics of the many casualties are mesmerizing and alarming!

Ms Winfrey asks that everyone designate their car as a ‘”NO PHONE ZONE!” She goes so far to have a campaign asking you to sign a contract agreeing to do so. The contract is available on her website! During the show one mother is interviewed. Her story; As she approaches her home after a Dr.’s appointment she sees a little girl lying in the streets surrounded by a crowd! She sees a mangled bike… Much to her dismay the distraught mother realizes it is her little girl and the emergency crew are attempting to pull her clothes off ……. The little girl was “15 PEDALS “ FROM HER FRONT DOOR! The driver was on her cell phone! After intensive care in the hospital two days later her beautiful little girl dies…

This is one of many. This show is a must see!!

Texting while driving is also hazardous. No sneaking a text in because no one’s watching. Watch the road! Another big, No! No! We need to be in contact but we also need to give them guidelines. I think that a simple contract might possibly be a viable solution. If they are old enough to have a cell phone they should be responsible enough to make a contract that is reviewed often and renegotiated when or if necessary. Hmmmm possibly limiting their calling by giving them a restricted calling plan? Knowing that you are going to randomly review their messages, Hmmm…This really is to let them know that you care enough to take the time to show that you are concerned and they matter. Of course they won’t see it this way…

In this high tech society it may be hard. But, keeping the lines of communication open is important! Let them know you are there for them and they matter!   Give them kudos whenever the opportunity arises. It is crucial and beneficial to make sure that you take the time to spend quality time with them without a television, computer, cell phone, I pod, CD player, blue tooth ear piece or some other distraction… Just maybe they won’t feel the need to take up sextexting?

Soaring Above The Eagles -KIMBERLY ANYADIKE

KIMBERLY ANYADIKE

Soaring Above the Eagles.

 

There still are many young people who are responsible, gifted, talented, productive  determined, unwavering, and goal oriented.  We want to encourage this generation to push through regardless of  the economic challenges our nation is  facing  or any  personal obstacles they encounter and continue to pursue and  reach towards whatever their goal is!   Isaiah 40 tells us that “we can soar  on wings like eagles” Kimberly actually soared above the eagles.   Determination is a wonderful motivator.   Here is one inspiring youth that did just that!

 

I had never even heard of  Kimberly Anyadike, but I got excited when I heard what she  had accomplished.  Kimberly did not let her age, color nor financial situation deter her from reaching a noteworthy goal.  Kimberly has  persevered against all odds!  Kimberly did not do this for the celebrity status she  said   “I wanted to inspire other kids…”

 

“15-year-old Kimberly Anyadike finished a historical  record-breaking flight across the country, becoming what is believed to be the youngest African-American female to pilot an airplane from coast to coast.” She went from Compton, California to New Newport ,  VA and back.  Accompanied  with  an adult safety pilot and a (87) eighty-seven year old World War II  veteran,  who actually flew with the Tuskegee Airman.  They  both  were there to cheer her on and make sure she made the long journey safely.  Kimberly goal was also to honor the many Tuskegee Airmen she met along the way.

 

Kimberly acquired her flight skills to navigate both an airplane and a helicopter from:  Tomorrow’s Aeronautical Museum in Compton.  Founder  Robin  Petgrave   is an experienced,  accomplished  master pilot .  Robin has many accomplishments, he has a wonderful   relationship  and  rapport with the children. He is  so gifted at his craft that he can  actually land a helicopter on a “dime.” It is  here Kimberly learned to soar  and  participated in an after-school program   that offers flight lessons to many underprivileged children and at risk children.  

 

They have  a  fantastic  unbelievable  program here! They offer positive  alternatives  to drugs, violence, gangs,  and destructive behaviors.  The  children, youth and young adults  learn and acquire a multiplicity of engineering , flight and  business skills throughout  the program as well. They have children of all Colors from all walks of life! Many others are learning to soar,  they have capable  licensed pilots as young as (11) eleven years old. Here they are learning ,  lives are being changed  and they are  making a difference!

 

Their goal is to change communities and help children one at a time.  They provide children a place off the streets.  At the Tomorrow Aeronautical Museum  they are known as “Aviation Angels.”  Here Kimberly was motivated,  she  also learned that the Tuskegee Airmen were told that they did not have the necessary intelligence or skill set to become Airmen.     But  history  tells us otherwise.  Their pictures are pasted throughout the museum. Kimberly says  “They left such a great legacy,” she said. “I had big shoes to fill. All they wanted to do was to be patriots for this country. They were told no, that they were stupid, that they didn’t have cognitive development to fly planes. They didn’t listen. They just did what they wanted to do.”

 

Kimberly made many people proud of her. She represents a growing crowd of determined youth!  It pays not to listen when you know that your goal is to be fruitful,  productive and the outcome will be beneficial to many. The Tuskegee Airmen efforts  made many years ago helped to encourage Kimberly as well as is continuing to encourage many others.  During her amazing trek  across the country Kimberly also made (13) stops .  Those stops were to meet  many of the Tuskegee Airmen who are still alive! There are a growing number of children  that are gifted, talented, responsible and determined.  Kimberly Anyadike is certainly one.  We salute you Kimberly keep up the good work!  You are  inspiring and a wonderful role model for us all. You certainly are a true “Aviation Angel!”