“GOD IS LOVE” His love makes all the difference in the world. Part 1
February 5, 2020 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health, Featured Articles
What makes the difference?
God is Love!
God is the creator and sustainer of life. Everything that you will ever need for life, daily living and eternal life you can discover in the Lord. Why? Because, “God is Love,”His love is what makes all the difference in the world.
“We rise each morning to thank God for His Eternal Love. His love never ends. As you draw closer to Him love continues to flourish. We are forever grateful to the Lord for; “… Leading us on the Path of Righteousness for His Namesake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear NO evil for thou are with me. Thy rod and thy staff comfort me…” Psalm 23. Thank You Lord for being: “A Solid Rock Foundation!”
Holy Father You are truly forever, “The GOOD SHEPHERD!”
We are living in a time when some of everything is going on all throughout this world. God is Love, His Love is what makes all the difference in the world. Our faith in God is what continuously sustains us. And we know that without doubt we can always trust God and His Word. Each day is an opportunity to draw closer to the Lord. One of the most important things you should know is; “God is Love!” And correction is a part of His love.
Within His Word is a plethora of spiritual wisdom. As we study His Word the Lord implants it within our hearts and places it in the recesses of our mind. His Holy Spirit brings it forth when necessary. God’s Word is “A Lamp unto our feet and a Light unto our path. ” Psalm 119
Thank You Lord!
Praise and thank the Lord for saving me as a young child. It has been quite interesting being a part of His Church all of my life. I have learned that it is important to honor and worship God. For He has grown me in His grace, love, wisdom and understanding and is continuously shaping and molding me in His image. God is Love, His love is what makes all the difference in the world. I am thankful to Him for freeing me, correcting, directing and protecting me. For it is only by HIS grace we are SAVED!
I thank Him for His Holy Spirit; His Comforter that He bestows upon us to lead us to all Truth. We together praise Him for His gift of eternal life. Because of this we are assured a place with Him in Heaven. We together are forever grateful to know that; “God is Love!” There is much contentment knowing that GOD is also omniscient. He knows absolutely everything about everyone who has ever been created. I know without doubt that nothing, nor no one or no thing can separate me/us from Him or His everlasting Love.
Truly having the Lord in your life will or can make all the difference in the world.
I am thankful to be married to a dedicated Man of God. He whole heartedly loves the Lord and His Word! Because of this he does not compromise His Word for the approval of man nor the acceptance of others. God is Love, His love is what makes all the difference in the world. We are thankful for the “Oneness” and the freedom we have been given in the Lord! “…Where the Spirit of the Lord is; there is liberty!” II Corinthians 3 One must not use his/her liberty for a cloak of maliciousness. God teaches us how to firmly “STAND” upon HIS WORD!
Together we share a love for the Lord. We realize that love is a precious gift from the Lord. It is what keeps us connected to Him. In Him by His grace we have a “Solid Rock Foundation!” Without the Lord we know that life really has no purpose. Neither is there any promise of eternal life in Heaven.
Be Encouraged!
I want to encourage you to get to know the Lord in a personal intimate way. God is Love, His love is what makes all the difference in the world. For in Him you can discover your true purpose in life. God has created each of us to be originals. This is true of everyone on earth. Each day is a day to “Draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you.” We have committed to daily share, the Gospel and live it out loud. It is our desire to live each day to please the Lord. Christianity is our daily lifestyle. He is the Author and Finisher of our faith. We know that God has created us to glorify Him!
We have been able to with the help of the Lord to preach, proclaim, teach, share, support and send others, as well as ourselves to; “GO YE THEREFORE…” We have traveled to many places throughout the world. There are many invaluable life lessons we have learned and continue to do so. God is Love, His love is what makes all the difference in the world.GOD allows some people in your life to show you what not to do. Pray for discernment. The Lord is all His Word says He is and so much more. This is why I often say I am thankful for the life we have in the the Lord! We do not take this or one another for granted.
Worship & Praise has always been a part of our lives…
We are forever grateful the Lord has allowed us the opportunity to journey both far & near. Together we have experienced many different modes of Worship & Praise in the midst of many different cultures and environments throughout the world. There is a “Blessed Assurance” knowing that we belong to Him and that He is with us everywhere we go. All throughout this world, His creation speaks to our hearts and vociferously proclaims His omnipresence. We all must get better at listening.
We are Thankful!
Each day we are thankful for God’s Love and the Blessings that were spoken over us when we married. It was by God’s providence that we were destined to be married. We remain grateful for the Lord’s Blessing upon our union with (5) five adult children, their spouses and (21) twenty-one grandchildren. God is Love, His love is what makes all the difference in the world.
Our ever increasing family has allowed us to be even more aware first-hand of the spiritual warfare that persists and is going on within this world. It cloaks itself in so many ways… One must learn to: “Be Still and Know!” This is necessary to be able to detect and discern the things that are not of GOD.
Spending time with God is important
There are many entrapments, pitfalls and strongholds that will attempt to attach to you. Be aware and be wise! They are designed to distract us from daily living in God’s presence. Life is a precious gift from God. So, make spending time alone with the Lord a priority. God is Love, His love is what makes all the difference in the world. We as believers are to live each day as though we are expecting our Lord to return. It is absolutely necessary to know the Lord and His Word to be able to navigate through it all and remain on the Narrow Path.
We are blessed to have raised our now adult children within a balanced home of joy, peace & love with minimal contention. We have also together experienced growing pains. But over all life has been still content in the Lord. We could not have done this without the Lord. They know without that; “God is Love!” There was consistency, understanding, fun, structure & discipline. By God’s Grace there is not any doubt in them to whom our Lord & Savior Christ Jesus is.
This is our greatest legacy. Our children grew up knowing we the people are God’s Church and we gather together to Worship & Praise the LORD with others in many different assemblies and places of worship. We also realize that not everyone believes this…
We need to Pray!
We remain prayerful for this generation, God’s Church and the world at large. God is Love, His love is what makes all the difference in the world. We realize that this generation as well as our grandchildren are facing a world that encourages compromising God’s principles by omission and commission. But they know that there are always consequences for our choices. Today, many alternative lifestyles are encouraged, supported, welcomed and permitted. This is true inside and outside of God’s Church.
Many of the ways of the world have gradually crept in the midst of God’s Church. But His principles for us still the same. Lord have mercy! This also gives me/us the motivation to encourage them as well as others to holdfast to the Lord’ s Word. For this world wants to take you out on a limb that leads to the broad road… Please, know GOD’S WORD for yourself!
God is Love, His love is what makes all the difference in the world.
The WORD of GOD and the WORD in SONG have been dear to us. They are both effective in delivering the GOSPEL MESSAGE… For years we have traveled many miles back and forth to worship. The Word & Music have always been an integral part of our home lives. Music is a language of its own. It is important to daily Worship & Praise the Lord. For we will forever praise the Lord throughout eternity. The Bible is clear that the Church was inclusive within the homes of the believers for we are His Church. It is important to give GOD his place within our daily lives…
Christianity is a daily lifestyle. There is nothing anywhere in the world or this universe that GOD our Creator is not aware of. This is why it is wise to “Seek ye first His Kingdom and His Righteousness…” Mathew 6 For there is genuine “Security & Significance” & Peace knowing that He is Omniscient, Omnipresent and Omnipotent!
For us it has been; “Worldwide Ministry Beyond as well as Inside the Walls!” As long as the Lord has each of us on this side of Heaven it is to continue to grow in His grace, understanding and wisdom. God is Love, His love is what makes all the difference in the world. Whenever we fulfill His purpose within our lives; He will call each of us home to transition to life forevermore with Him in Heaven. For this we are eternally grateful. Or we who remain will be “caught up to meet CHRIST JESUS in the air.” Everyone will bear witness to His return. Even those who pierced our LORD will witness HIS glorious spectacular return!
The Call upon our lives.
We are thankful that the LORD has called us as His; Elders/Ministers & Ambassadors. We do not take this lightly. There is no need to compete with others. And nor do we attempt to make proselytes after ourselves. However, we do proclaim, teach, preach and daily “live out loud” the Gospel of Christ Jesus. Each day we commit to and thrive to live by His Word. It behooves us to daily keep in mind that Christianity is an everyday lifestyle. We therefore encourage all to know Christ Jesus, embrace His Word and the power of His Resurrection!
We have witnessed on occasions how many are quite territorial about their places of worship. Know that there is also much spiritual warfare in and about GOD’S CHURCH. Many feel that the Church belongs to them. This is evident by their actions. For many it is more like a membership club. You have rights and privileges according to your delegated membership status. It is important to know that title to the building does not give you ownership to God’s Church. For we the people are His Church.
Jesus is coming back for His Church
Visit us here at: http://www.Alpha7.org
Our hope is in the Lord!
FAITH IS NOW!
January 7, 2020 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health
Faith Is Now!
“Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1. Faith is so important that it is mentioned over three hundred times in the BIBLE. To believe and have a firm persuasion in God is what faith is. Having Faith means much more than just to say you believe. It goes so much deeper! Faith is developed through prayer, devotion, and Bible Study. The actual application of God’s Word to your daily life is necessary.
Faith is also part of the Lord’s spiritual armor. It is “By Faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what is visible.” Hebrews 11:3. Faith is NOW not after the fact has materialized! “For we walk by Faith not by sight.” II Corinthians 5:7
Men and Women of Faith
When you truly trust God your Faith will see you through any and all circumstances or situations. Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Esther and Rahab, are just a few examples of the many that trusted and had Faith in God. Deborah, Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets beheld many miracles, faced jeers, were stoned, saw walls fall, led many in victories, were persecuted, misunderstood, and mistreated. Yet they all accomplished their life purpose by trusting the Lord.
Take notice how they all sincerely aspired to live in the presence of the Lord. They had a personal and deep intimate personal relationship with Him. Hebrews commends them all for their Faith; “yet none of them received what had been promised.” It is by Faith we are strengthened inwardly! Jesus Christ dwells in our hearts through Faith.
FAITH is NOW!
Hebrew defines Faith as something you cannot see. “Faith without works is dead.” When your Faith is truly in GOD you trust that in His time He will fulfill whatever it is that He has said or promised. Take a moment to take an open and honest personal inventory of everything that is happening in your life. Guess what God already knows as well. Despite your circumstances; good, bad, or indifferent you can rest assured that your Faith makes all the difference in the world as to how you will now proceed.
In order to successfully run the race of life we must keep our focus upon the Lord. Laying aside any weight or sin helps us to run with endurance. When life hurdles appear God will impart to you His patience and direction. You can not change anything that has happened; “it is what it is.” As you fix your eyes on “Jesus, the Author and perfecter of our Faith” He will help you arise to the challenges as well as the celebrations of life.
Learn to Trust God
Your daily trust and reliance upon God is where your true security and significance should reside. This will give you sure footing and strong solid rock foundational spiritual roots to help you withstand the storms of life. Your joy in the Lord is where you will find strength when you keep your eyes on Him. The joy of the Lord is not contingent on your circumstance. FAITH is NOW!
The key to being a Christian is the Faith we have in Jesus Christ. Do you know the importance of His sacrificial death on the cross that atoned for our sins? It was so we could live life to please Him! Did you know our lives, our homes, our marriages, families and our worship should reflect we are His children? How do we do this? Titus tells us that “You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self controlled, and sound in Faith, love and in endurance. To teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good…”
God and His Church
Know that GOD does not live in a building made by hands. Although we can come together to worship him and acknowledge Him as GOD. Our GOD lives within the hearts of the believers all throughout the world who are HIS CHURCH. We are the ecclesia; meaning called out ones. The natural man or woman does not accept, value, nor understand the things of God. This is why the Word says to “let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2. In order to understand the things of God it is crucial that you lay aside your way and your will and let His Word be a “lamp unto your feet and a Light to your path.” Psalm 119.
Having the proper perspective will teach you how very important it is to live life to its fullest and study His Word for His approval and not the approval of man. This is why we are told to “Trust in the Lord will all of our hearts and lean not to our own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct our path.” Proverbs 3.
All too often God is an after thought or optional choice when dealing with life. This compromise often has favorable results with man; yet results in moving you away from God. Learn to wait on God and patiently seek His way. He can keep us on the Narrow Path that is less traveled.
Being A Christian is a daily Lifestyle
God’s way will give you peace and contentment that surpasses the understanding of man! God wants to be the Primary Force in your life. Being a Christian is really a chosen daily lifestyle. God does not force His way upon you. Nor does He manipulate. Faith produces commitment and faithfulness. You also know the importance of honoring your marriage vows as well. You made those vows not only to your spouse but to God. It means to sincerely and earnestly attempt to live life to please God.
Commence to truly daily live, Pray, Preach, Proclaim, Sing, Worship and Praise Him. It really makes all the difference in the world! “LET the WORD of Christ dwell in You richly as You teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as You sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in Your hearts to God. And whatever You do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving THANKS to God the Father through Him” Colossians 3.
Learn How to Trust God
God always has a better way. According to Ephesians 1 He has already blessed us with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places. As His child we have been sealed and promised the gift of His Holy Spirit. God truly is faithful you can always count on Him! Now you must trust Him and step out on Faith. Remember Faith is not something that you can see. Always remember, you must exercise patience and your Faith and trust must rely within Him.
Hebrews teaches us; “Without Faith it is impossible to please God!” His Word tells us if our Faith is; “as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you” Matthew 17. The key to this is you must desire His will to be done. It is with God we can do the impossible. This way He receives all the credit. Live: “To GOD be the GLORY!” God always keeps His promises. You can fully trust God to work everything out for your good.
God is Omniscient
Always keep in mind that absolutely nothing gets by God. He knows all that is past, current and will be. He is omniscient. Be encouraged knowing “God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them.” Know not everyone will be receptive to you. God always knows the intents of our hearts. It is by Faith and patience we inherit His promises.
We can patiently endure whatever is necessary because we know that God in His time will work everything out for our good. It is by Faith we accept His precious gift of eternal life. One of the most important elements in life is having Faith in GOD. “Without Faith it is impossible to please Him, for he, who comes to GOD, must believe, that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11.
FAITH Keep Looking UP!
GOD IS FAITHFUL
In His time you will reap the promises and He will give back, restore, refuel and replenish you in His time. God knows when you are sincere. We are living in interesting times. It is always important to remember we are living in a Spiritual Warzone. But the battle is not ours. Just keep your eyes fixed on the Author and finisher of your Faith. God is able to “keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great Joy!” Jude. You can say Hallelujah anyhow!
GOD IS AWESOME; HE IS ABSOLUTELY; “AWEWONDERFUL!”
As I mentioned before Hebrews records in its “Hall of Faith” many Old Testament heroes who trusted in God and displayed their Faith in unique ways. We today, should also desire to be honorary members of; “God’s Hall of Faith!” Lay aside every weight and anything that hinders you from going forth in the Lord. Many seek the approval and acceptance of others. Know that the Narrow Path is the road less traveled.
Put your trust in GOD!
God never said it would always be easy. But He did say: “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things you have; for He hath said; I will never leave nor forsake thee. So, that we may boldly say; THE LORD IS MY HELPER, AND I WILL NOT FEAR WHAT MAN/WOAMN SHALL DO UNTO ME.” Hebrews 13
As long as we are on this side of Heaven there is more to learn. God continually perfects us. (which means GOD makes us complete in HIM) God’s approval is what matters most. He knows when we are faithful to Him. When we keep our vows He knows. Whatever we need and when, He also knows. God is faithful. When you truly believe; it will be a priority to daily live your life to please GOD! Faith results in faithfulness. Who or what are you faithful to? “Now Faith is the substance of being sure of what we HOPE for and certain of what we do not see. By Faith the Elders obtained a good report!”
FAITH IS NOW!
Why most marriages don’t last! Part 2
February 11, 2016 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Why Most Marriages Don’t Last!
Part 2
There has been a shift in the atmosphere!
Many marriages in this 21st century are in crisis. On the News, on the internet and all across the United States of America you see couples in distress. Marriages within the church, in your neighborhood and those on your jobs are also struggling. You can find many unique interesting stories about couples that can’t seem to work through their issues. What you read, see and hear are indicative of what is happening everywhere all over the globe!
This does not have to be.
A great marriage really is definitely possible. Marriage requires love, commitment, patience and lots of teamwork! Counseling is an alternative that helps and it can enhance your marriage. But your goal must be to work through the kinks in the marriage rather than let them persist. If you wait until your problems are seemingly insurmountable it will take some time to plow through your relationship dynamics. It is also and indication that you two have gotten slack. You have allowed your marriage to become secondary.
Yes, many couples all over the world are going through. But don’t be discouraged. Help is on the way! This does not have to be. You both need to get busy shifting your priorities. Time to look at some viable options.
Hmm perhaps counseling?
There are times when counseling is sought just as a last resort. You simply attempt to appease one another and are trying to buy some time… When this is the case; by the time the couple goes to counseling the problem is so bad that they just want to find out which spouse is responsible for their marriage problems? They are often just seeking support and approval to justify why they act or behave in the manner in which they do? The fact of the matter is your communication skills are lacking to the point you have lost some of your objectivity.
You now need or desire a neutral third-party to help you see if you can revive the marriage and get it back on track?
How can we get back on track?
The Truth of the matter is each spouse is not always equally responsible for each problem. Quite often a lot of old baggage has not been addressed and it becomes a recurring theme. Instead of getting discouraged get actively busy resolving your issues and the issues at hand. This is really a great time to further develop your communication skills.
Let’s see what God has to say!
You can and should also incorporate the Bible as wise counsel in your marriage. Not in a rigid legalistic manner but in a way to enhance your marriage. It is important that you marry someone who values the same life principles! However if this is not the case you can still consult the Lord’s Word. There is some superb, really great “stuff” in the Bible that many are not aware of. I mean this in a complimentary way. Try doing a word search on Marriage and see where it takes you. There are some great love stories as well as excellent examples of tests and trials. The Lord never intended for any of us to be unhappy and disappointed all the time… I suggest that you also go to Galatians 5 and learn the differences between the works of the flesh and the Fruit of His Spirit!
Remember those vows you made to God and your spouse! Well the Bible has a wealth of wisdom to help you in any and every situation. The Bible is like no other book. It is alive! Pray for direction from the Lord. Ask Him to speak to your heart.
Please, don’t just read the Bible you must actually implement the principles into your own personal life and marriage. It is not wise to use the Word to manipulate or hurl insults upon your spouse. After all the Lord KNOWS what He is talking about.
If you have a friend that is having marital conflict encourage them to seek helpful ways to resolve it. It is important to respect your marriage as well as the marriage of others. When asked for advice make it a point to be objective. Don’t experiment on their marriage and suggest things that are harmful rather than constructive. If you don’t know, tell them you don’t know. Help them look at the situation from all angles. Sometimes a listening ear is all that is necessary to sort through the problem. Never support abuse on any level in or from anyone… Learn to be a better friend by encouraging them to do what is right.
What is so interesting is that as adults you can do as you please. That is, unless you simply have no self-control yourself and are rather compulsive. In that case you just cannot restrain or discipline yourself and you freak out at the slightest little thing. The problem won’t just go away on its own… If this is the case you really need to put yourself in check and seek out getting some professional help! By the way prayer really does work!
Please if you know that your spouse has a short fuse don’t try to purposefully set them off. This does not mean that you are to be a doormat. Choose your battles wisely don’t encourage abuse or dysfunction in yourself or anyone else. Don’t be or become an enabler.
So why can’t you make a decision to work out your problems? It’s because you have opted to go the way of the majority or just “do your own thing!” You can simply do what makes you feel good instead at the expense of your spouse? Live together and really be miles apart. But is it really good for you or your marriage? No! That’s called being selfish! At this point, the marriage has become more about “you” rather than about “us!” It’s my house, my car, my money, my furniture my name, my way or the highway, my… Somebody has a bad case of “Me”ness! No wonder you are in such a quandary.
You have now or will be joining the not happily ever after club soon! That is unless you decide to make your marriage a priority. So get busy doing something different; like making some improvements. Take a good look at what is going on or not going on. Reposition yourself and change the direction and get back on track. Sincerely work at reconciling your difference.
The first step for getting your marriage back on track is taking responsibility for your own actions. Stop behaving as though you are in the relationship by yourself. It is called being considerate. Your spouse is neither your servant nor parent! They are supposed to be your partner… Start treating your spouse the way you would like to be treated for starters. Life is precious. So humble yourself and let pride take a backseat. Take the wheel and take your marriage to a higher level.
Celebrate your marriage! Encourage one another and if necessary encourage yourself like King David. Don’t let anyone steal your JOY! If you have get busy getting it back!
There is HELP; Addiction Relief is Possible! Part 5
January 1, 2016 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health
How drugs affect your body and your mind?
Drug abuse continues to escalate. Addiction is real! It is taking its casualties all over the world. There is help for your addiction! Drugs change the natural chemistry of the human body. For some drugs are necessary therapeutic medicinal healing aids to facilitate improving ones health. For millions of people they help to sustain a certain quality of life.
In cases such as diabetes, heart disease, cancer, infections and viruses drugs are helpful. They help to ease discomfort in broken bones, sprains and the pain of arthritis. These are just a few of the plethora of ailments that are usually controlled by drugs. In these cases they are usually necessary and beneficial. There is HELP for your addiction.
Medical drugs are used everyday
Doctors treat many illnesses, diseases and conditions with medical drugs every day! Drugs may be chewed, swallowed, injected, inhaled or sniffed. There are legitimate as well as illegitimate uses for drugs. One can become addicted in both cases. The use of drugs illegally is far more dangerous. When one has a spouse who engages in drugs and or alcohol it is much harder to establish intimacy. Their need for drugs and drinking is more important than their need to be emotionally available.
It is not wise to use drugs that are not personally prescribed for you nor those purchased illegally. Drugs alter the chemistry of the brain and make you feel different. A physician takes into consideration your current health status, your weight and symptoms when prescribing a prescription. The more you use drugs the more your brain chemistry becomes altered. There is help for your addiction!
You are out of control!
When a person becomes addicted they are out of control. The drug or behavior of choice now has taken over. And the desire is now to “fix” the way they are feeling. How you feel takes priority over everything! They are no doubt self-centered and will quite often do whatever is necessary just to “feel good.” This is why it is prefable to be under the care of a trained physician. They know how to properly prescribe the proper medication. This is necessary to address any physical or mental ailments. f you have no self-control. Even under the care of a qualified doctor one can still become chemically dependent and addicted to drugs.
Pain is real!
The addict is in pain and has lost their ability to cope with reality unless they are under the influence. Drugs and or alcohol have become the priority! They have developed an unhealthy habit and desire to experience a level of pleasure and/or the need to escape from reality. Life can be difficult and often people are thrust into situations and terrible living conditions that are unbearable.
Childhood trauma and cumulative issues not dealt with fester and cause emotional pain. People often carry many unresolved issues into their relationships… This can forbid them from being transparent. This can also hinder them from maturing. The marriage then often suffers from neglect and lack of intimacy. This causes much conflict within he marriage. The spouse with the addiction is often emotionally unavailable. It is important to seek viable help.
Your marriage really should be a priority
To some marriage can be a game rather than a sacred union. Rather than being responsible the addicted spouse is selfish. A secondary marriage addiction example. I was the Sacramento Marriage Examiner for many years… There was a man in the area who was arrested for participating in numerous marriage unions. He also arranged as many as 39 bogus marriages for others.
He profited for a fee at the expense of others unhappiness. This was not good. It was a total disregard for moral principles. This was a terrible selfish abusive pattern in operation. Marriage is supposed to be sacred. It is important to take time to get to know who you are marrying… This man’s selfish deceptive actions hurt many people. He had no intention of making a virtuous commitment. It is evident that he had an unhealthy addiction to the idea of marriage and fulfilling his own desires.
The basis of a good healthy relationship is trust
Trust can be shattered like a glass vase. Leaving one traumatized! It can erode when one is not attentive to the needs of their spouse creating an abyss. Marriage is about coming together and building a great partnership. Affair proof your marriage. Keep God in the center of your marriage! It can be tedious regaining trust again but it is possible. It is always important to be honest about your pain and however you are feeling.
Disillusioned by a break in trust usually leaves the spouse empty and needy. Which also makes them vulnerable… Building or establishing an ongoing relationship with the Lord will build a stronger foundation that will help to keep you anchored. God is available 24/7! The Lord is true to His Word! “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight!” Proverbs 3.
Sexual Addiction
Sexual addiction is quite threatening to a marriage. It is an intimacy problem. Millions of people in the US sand all around the world uffer from sexual addictions. The person with a sexual addiction has a hard time connecting to and making a monogamous commitment. They are caught up in a vicious cycle of having their own needs met at any cost. The spouse’s needs are usually ignored and neglected due to the spouses self-indulgence. It is important to keep and maintain healthy boundaries in your marriage.
Respect your marriage as well as the marriages of others. Stop giving yourself away. This should NOT be. Don’t just connect to anything or anybody. You should learn to be happy by yourself before you think that you can be happy with your spouse. Revisit your vows don’t let them become mere words. Remember; You both committed not only to your one another but to GOD! There is HELP for your addiction.
There is HELP for your Addiction!
Addiction that is not addressed will not just go away. REPENT! Commit or recommit to God and your spouse. Tell them you need HELP! Tell them you are sincerely sorry. If you are not truly sorry you will repeatedly fall into a pattern of addiction. Restoration is a choice; it takes a lot of work but it is possible. You will have to build a new relationship with a strong foundation of transparency and trust. With the HELP of the Lord; You can come forth from the fire of addiction like pure gold!
You Really NEED HELP!
Godly counsel and much time spent in fervent prayer are needed along with a necessary redemptive confrontation. The confrontation means I care enough to “Speak the Truth in Love.” Confrontation brings the issues to the forefront. You must be willing to face your demons. Demons meaning the supernatural malevolent influences that have held you captive to do harm to your mind-body and soul. They keep you in a daily battle to control your destiny. This does not have to be. There is NO power stronger than GOD!
This has caused you to hurt those around you as well. They have suffered greatly. Although through a lot of it you were somewhat unconscious; start by apologizing for your behavior. Yes you were under the influence. It is important that the issues are then addressed immediately. Keep it real! There is HELP for your addiction.
Deal with your issues
If you or your spouse has an addiction of any kind; Please DO NOT delay seeking help. The longer you wait the harder it is to make the necessary lifestyle and environment changes. You can be delivered! You must want to break free! A couple that has a strong healthy marriage bond can be a great mentor and a source of encouragement. The TRUTH always prevails!
You have vowed to be there for one another for better or for worse? Begin to take care of yourself and make it a point to look your best. Not just in a superficial way. But to discipline yourself to take better care of your body that houses your soul. Don’t just look good but be or get in a good place emotionally… Embrace moral principles. There is HELP for your addiction.
If you are reading this and you are single. Start dealing with your issues now before you commit to marry. Have a transparent conversation about addiction prior to marriage. When you marry someone with an addiction you have married their addiction. You get a somewhat superficial façade of who they really are. Such as how they cope when not under the influence. Well usually they don’t. They usually become annoying, impatient and cantankerous It is important to know that a good strong marriage is built on TRUST! If necessary recommit to your vows and start anew.
GOD CAN HEAL Any Addiction!
The road to recovery and healing will be tedious. There are some who make up their mind and are done with the dysfunctional cycle. They readily hold fast to their dedication to take back control of their life. Others vary some taking longer than others yet, dedicated to changing. Stop making excuses and make it a goal to recapture your self-respect dignity and integrity. You can change but it is your choice. Reach daily for self-control!
Congratulations you are on the right road now! It is called “Straight and Narrow!” There is HELP for your addiction.
Now let’s get busy moving forward building better, stronger, satisfying, trusting enduring relationships and marriages! Be encouraged to become the “Best You!” Stay on the straight and narrow. “PRAY without ceasing” all throughout your day. This is what keeps us connected to the Lord! This is also how you build a “Solid Rock” intimate relationship with the Lord! Know that Great Healthy Relationships and Great Marriages (without addiction) are truly still possible! GOD IS MORE THAN ABLE!
There is HOPE: Addiction Relief is Possible! Part 3
January 1, 2016 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health
Step 3 Regular Usage
When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” The substance abuser will now use others in an attempt to satisfy their addiction. This often leads to a multiplicity of dysfunction on many levels. Satisfying the addiction is often done in secrecy as well as with others. The frequency in which they do so has now escalated and impedes on their day-to-day life.
The addiction can still go undetected because they cleverly camouflage or conceal their addiction of choice! As one looks closely the signs are all there. A spouse may not be aware because they can appear normal to a degree. A multiplicity of excuses is rendered when they are questioned? A user will cleverly find ways to satisfy the addiction. Deception comes along with addiction it can greatly hinder or destroy your marriage and other relationships as well.
Truth, intimacy and trust are important components in building a good strong marriage, and healthy relationships or a family!
Step 4 full-blown
Day in and day out the addiction has now taken over. The addict will now do whatever to satisfy his or her obsession. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” It has completely taken control. Their life cycle is getting, using, doing drugs, alcohol or whatever the addiction is… They are now compulsively spiraling increasingly downhill… Denial and selfishness has become their companion. For many it takes hitting rock bottom before they will admit they need help!
They have indulged themselves to the point that their brain chemistry has changed drastically! Their spiritual aptitude has been suppressed. To attempt to stop means that they will go through a period of painful withdrawal! The high that they used to receive is now an insatiable voracious uncontrollable craving. A mere ferocious “monkey is on their back!” They cannot feel normal unless they are under the influence or indulging in the activity.
What really needs to be “Fixed?”
Not realizing that normal is now far from them. They are consumed by their need to do whatever is necessary to satisfy their addiction. Their family, friends, job, talents, resources are all being destroyed by their inability to control their compulsive need for a fix!
How interesting that they so paradoxically “Need a fix!” What really needs to be fixed is their deep cavernous inner pain… Addiction is a vicious cycle. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” If your spouse, friend or coworker is in any of these stages it is important to confront them in love. Redemptive confrontation is a way to begin to address whatever the addiction is. Don’t be an enabler. Love does not mean making someone feel comfortable in sin and self indulgence. If not confronted your love one’s life will spiral out of control if in fact that is not the case already.
Addiction impacts your marriage and relationships
Marriage is a wonderful relationship. God has created for us to learn how to properly relate to our spouses in every way. It is the ultimate monogamous sacred partner/co-worker relationship! It is through a committed marriage with God as the center one can learn how to overcome their weaknesses. A good marriage can or will keep you from addiction. When addiciton progresses it requires a “FIX!” Truly GOD is OMNISCIENT! He is the ultimate source of Godly Wisdom. He knew when we were created that we would need Him in all areas of our lives.
In a God Centered Marriage He keeps man and woman joined together for life. Ever growing in His wisdom as they both stay connected to Him. A strong marriage takes to whole people. Yet; both realizing with the Lord that “we together become one.” “What God has joined together let not man put asunder.” Within the context of a committed marriage there is power and unity! With the Help of the Lord you can whether the storms of life and emerge Victoriously. MARRIAGE to GOD IS SACRED! It is in fact; HOLY MATRIMONY!
Building healthier boundaries
Addiction is a weakness. Drugs, alcohol, cannabis, vaping, illicit sex, pornography or whatever; are all used to help one to feel good! However as an addict they have no boundaries and they are constantly seeking more ways to alleviate their uncontrollable desires. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” This only drives them deeper into despair and uncertainty. With the help of the Lord you can overcome addiction. For with God “All things are possible!”
When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!”
Marriage was wonderfully designed by God so we could get some of our needs met. There are some needs that can only be met by God! It is important to respect your marriage as well as the marriages of others. God honors marriage. When you honor your marriage you honor God!
A spouse can be a great facilitator in helping the cycle of the dysfunction of addiction being broken! It is difficult because it requires exercising good boundaries. Praying and interceding for your spouse is key as well as seeking and taking direction from the Lord!
An Intervention is Really Necessary
An intervention is necessary! Once the addiction has been confronted it is important to seek healthier ways to cope. Remember there are many forms of addiction. It can be an addiction to just about anything. Not everyone has a tendency towards addiction. Yet keep in mind that we all are forever becoming. Therefore we all need to work on improving and increasing our own personal disciplines.
Be compassionate and have empathy but not to the point you further enable them. Be firm and set boundaries. Encourage them to take responsibility for overcoming their addition. They need to own their problem! They need to be active in seeking ways to resolve their addiction. Help by being their and remembering; addiction is a plea for help! Encourage them to discover healthier ways to fill their deep inner void.
There is absolutely nothing in your life that God is not aware of. He Loves you! He wants you to reach out to Him! You can do this wherever you are. Learning to surrender to HIM is very important!
How’s Your Relationship with the Lord?
Developing a genuine intimate personal relationship with the Lord will help you begin to better cope! Your need to be under the influence will dissipate. You will become better able to face life and situations soberly. God wants an up close personal relationship with us. Here one must be careful as well. There are those who develop an addiction to religion. When addiciton progresses it requires a “FIX!” They become very religious which also creates a void… It becomes just another escape. This is not the same thing as having a healthy personal intimate relationship with the Lord.
It is important to spend time in His Word getting to know Him through His Word. You embrace and implement His Word in your daily life. You do not just merely wrotely learn how to quote it. God’s word becomes embedded within your heart. You begin to grow spiritually. Your inner peace increases. You desire to walk in the Light more. His Holy Spirit brings the Word to the forefront of your mind to HELP you sin less. Here you can discover what life is really all about. Here you can discover your purpose and the Freedom God wants for you.
Your indentity without the Addiction
One must seek to discover who they are without the addiction. To nurture the inner child that wants it’s way at all cost. To learn to better exercise self-control! Now that this is out in the open the addiction is exposed! This is what the road to recovery is all about. One must begin to monitor their feelings to see what triggers their desires. What is the root cause of them losing themselves into addiction? How do I begin to move from the addiction being the center of my life? God does have a better way!
There is a way out of addiction. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” Focusing now on your spouse’s strengths is very important. Give them encouragement without being controlling or manipulating. Pray for them and give them to the Lord. No you don’t abandon them. However you no longer do for them what they should be doing for themselves. This helps them find their way back to becoming responsible and reliable! Encouraging them to allow the “JOY of the LORD to be their strength”. God wants to be the center of your life. “Jesus came that you might have life and has it to the full.” John 10.
Next we will discuss some of the causes of addiction!
See Part 4
Fewer Lasting Marriages – Part 1 “L I M I T S”
July 9, 2012 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Archives, Marriage & Relationships
Building a lasting marriage is very important. Honoring one another is important. Honoring God in your marriage is important as well. Marriage is sacred in the eyes of God.
God wants us to enjoy life. He wants us to live well-rounded lives. He wants us to have healthy marriages & families. He wants to be a part of every aspect of our lives. The Lord is available 24/7 to help us!
Entertainment for recreation and amusement purposes are a wonderful part of life. It helps to balance out the seriousness of life and living! Our minds are given the opportunity to rest and journey into the land of imagination and creativity. Entertainment is healthy when experienced in good taste… Always keep in mind good moral boundaries.
Marriage on the other hand is not meant merely for entertainment purposes. It is one of the most serious relationships one can have. It is meant to be an ever-growing beautiful lifetime relationship between one man and one woman. Together you learn “Oneness!” In a good marriage you do not desire to drain one another. You have mutual desire to want what is best for one another as well as the marriage. You seek to build one another up. You together seek to find a balance in life. You have a mutual desire to honor the Lord in your marriage.
A great marriage should be built upon Love, Intimacy, Mutual respect, Integrity, Trust & Security in GOD! These marvelous attributes for marriage make up the great helpful acronym which = “L I M I T S!” Sexual intercourse is a part of marriage. It is a time to express yourselves to one another in a physical way that is only appropriate in marriage. Each couple should seek to work together for mutual fulfillment. When you both are fulfilled you remain faithful because you respect the bond between one another. You take your commitment to your marital vows seriously. You also respect the marriages of others. These are healthy virtuous ingredients that are an important part of building a good safe healthy marriage.
Life is serious and time is so very precious! How you spend the majority of your time is important! In marriage one should not become carried away into an unconscious state of oblivion and become out of touch with what is happening around them. Your marriage should be a priority! Your marriage should be tended like you would care for a well taken care of garden. Marriage is not something to escape into because you are bored, or you need somewhere to escape until you find something better to do… Many turn to marriage in order to just be entertained. Or to try something different. Marriage is about learning how to give yourself to one another. To build a loyal relationship. To learn how to unselfishly share and care for one another. Each spouse should become increasingly aware and sensitive as to how their spouse is feeling.
Although there will be valley experiences and moments of difficulty; when you TRUST GOD there will be many more mountaintop experiences! Always invite the presence of the Lord into all situations… Never underestimate HIS OMNIPOTENT POWER!
“L I M I T S” is a good acronym to remember for a lasting marriage! The desire to grow together and develop character is very important.
Holy Matrimony – Chapter 10 – Till Death Do Us Part
February 1, 2012 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Marriage is the first institution that God designed! Making a sincere commitment to your marriage is one of the most important decisions you can make in life. When God made Adam He made him both male and female. He took Eve out of Adam to be by his side. God is so wonderfully awesome! It was His intention to provide Adam with a compatible helpmeet to satisfy together their desires for companionship. Marriage is the ultimate partnership where two together can spiritually, physically and emotionally have there needs mutually met.
Marriage is a unique covenant agreement. Marriage is ordained by God. God intends for your marriage to last for a lifetime.
Purchase a copy of “Holy Matrimony: Now That We’re Married” to read more!!
Holy Matrimony – Chapter 7 – The Down Side Of Life And Marriage
January 31, 2012 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Archives
God can direct you in your marital relationship. The adversity He allows is to help us build integrity. From this day forward make a sincere attempt to improve your relationship with your spouse. Take a moment and see where you are. Is your relationship headed in the right direction? Ask your self do you really want your relationship to improve?
Holy Matrimony – Chapter 6 – When You Have Been Married Before
January 31, 2012 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Archives
God really intended for marriage to last for a lifetime. The scriptures clearly tells us “what God has joined together let not man put asunder”! Asunder; means to not let anything pull you apart or separate you. Why do we so very often fail to seek God’s advice when seeking a mate? We instead allow our feelings and emotions to often guide us in a direction that leads to a futile destiny. In our haste for companionship we can often make commitments that really should not be. Many often marry on the rebound. Loneliness and/or rejection can compel one to enter into a relationship too soon! Hurt and pain can hurl you into a relationship to escape rejection and loneliness. Swept away and blinded by an over whelming sometimes even sensual infatuation we fall heart first into marriage. Many will fall prey to what I choose to call temporary or “intoxicating affections”. Its symptoms merely mimic true love! All too often once the blinders come off you find yourself saying “what have I done?”
Purchase your copy of “Holy Matrimony:Now That We’re Married” to read more….
Holy Matrimony – Chapter 5 – What About Sex and Intimacy ?
January 31, 2012 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Archives
Intimacy is an important ingredient in a strong fulfilling marriage. Intimacy involves transparency. There is no true intimacy without being truthful with one another. It involves growing to the point you can allow your intimate personal defenses to rest. You are able to allow your spouse to inhabit the depth of your being. Together you intimately caress the intangible you. You together grow to the point you are freely able to become vulnerable. The walls come down. A pathway to the heart is established.
Marriage should consist of an ever increasing, warm endearing closeness. After all your spouse should be closer to you than anyone else. Remember the two shall be one flesh.
Don’t confuse intimacy with sex. Many people have sexual relationships and never experience intimacy. Life’s lessons can be…..
Purchase your copy of “Holy Matrimony:Now That We’re Married” to read more….
NEXT: Chapter 6 – When You Have Been Married Before
