Learn How To Overcome Bitterness Part 2
June 29, 2020 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health

What’s EATING YOU!
Let go of what’s been eating you. This is a healthy step in the right direction. And it will actually free you. Learn how to overcome bitterness. First of all, as you release it you will become stronger. Second, you gain strength and learn to better discipline yourself. Third, this allows hurt to flee and brings forth cleansing. The results are; healing starts to comes forth.
God really does want us to be happy!
Let’s move towards healing
Please, DO NOT regurgitate your pain over and over again. This does not mean you go into denial. No, you consciously choose to embrace beginning to move towards healing. And no, you don’t want to have a pity party. You do want to confess and admit that this has bothered you.
Your feelings are important. They need to be validated. But you will no longer let the issue invade your peace. Now let’s move towards getting better and not bitter. Learn how to overcome bitterness.
How? Acknowledge it for whatever it is. But then you must also commit to make some changes. You must accept taking responsibility for your well-being. Periodically check yourself. Police yourself and take note of patterns or triggers. When you find yourself in the wrong direction, unfocused or with a bad attitude; pause. Don’t stay stuck or allow pride to keep you in bondage. Shake yourself and simply shift and; Reset!
Learn how to overcome bitterness
God does have a purpose and a path for your life. Now, seek the Lord above all others. Allow yourself to be placed on the potter’s wheel. Let Him begin to mold you and shape you into a usable “vessel of honor” for His Glory. He can help you become a better you. Don’t simply enlist in a support group that will keep you tethered to your pain. God really does have a better way. The Word of God is so powerful! You can be “transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
YOU REALLY CAN BE HAPPY IT’S YOUR CHOICE!
Once you admit that life is difficult it becomes easier. Sin is pervasive and has taken root in this world. We live in a spiritual warzone. So many things have become greatly impacted. Everyone wants to run and start a support group for something? But what is it supporting? This only further serves to nurture any bitterness you are harboring. Don’t be deceived! If you desire support there is nothing wrong with this. Just make sure and very sure it does not consist of continual rehearsals to help you sustain your pain.
Don’t allow your issues to become the repetitive focus of your worship. Learn how to overcome bitterness. Begin to worship God from a place of joy!
I have counseled with many bitter people. When you truly realize God is omnipresent you will live differently. It is important to learn to live your life in the presence of the Lord!
Set some time aside and have a quality private worship service with the Lord. Make it a point to thank Him for all that He has done and for all that He has brought you through. Emerge refueled, refreshed and joyful! Now rejoice in Him and trust the Lord to take you to another level. Make sure you are daily adorned in your spiritual armor. As a matter of fact keep it on. Let peace & joy come forth!
Be Alert and Be Aware!
Today, anything goes. But, you do not have to get on board? The desire for acceptance often becomes an enabler. Tolerance and acceptance have often been labeled unconditional love. Don’t compromise your morals or principles. If you have don’t make excuses; REPENT! God knows everything about everyone. Don’t let any sin keep you from moving closer to the Lord.
These days; TRUTH more and more has been pushed to the background. The LOVE of GOD misconstrued. If the Truth were told ultimately GOD is the only source of unconditional love. Why is that? I am glad you asked. BECAUSE HE IS LOVE! HIS LOVE IS EVERLASTING!
Love people enough to speak the Truth in Love! The TRUTH really does set you FREE!
Lord Help Us! Thank You Lord for the life we have in You!
Always want the best for you as well as others! Allow the JOY of the LORD to be your strength!
Sin is anything that separates you from God. Like the worm in the apple sin begins to grow and works its way out. Time to take a spiritual bath in the Word. It will cleanse you from the inside out.
A temporary band aid is unacceptable
All too often only part of the truth is told to receive sympathy or to be accepted. Some will literally help you to death. It is sad that many do not seek to really want to resolve inner or outer conflict. But seek a support to justify irresponsibility. A temporary band aid is not acceptable. No, you don’t have to shout it from the top of your lungs. Nor do you have to join the “woe is me club!” It is important to know that this will not lead to your freedom. Learn how to overcome even the slightest bitterness.
This will result in; “True Deliverance!”
Daily meditate upon the Word of God. “rejoice in the Lord daily. For, the Lord will always make a way for His Will to be done in our lives!
The last days the Word talks about are now. “The Perilous Days” are here! This is why we have some of everything going on in the world. And yes, also happening inside, outside and all around God’s Church.
Getting Your Joy Back Part 5
October 30, 2019 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health

God’s Joy Can Sustain You!
When a trial comes you can still experience God’s Joy! As a matter of fact Isaiah says; “God will keep you in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on HIM.” In order for this to be so you must learn to Trust Him. This trust grows as you continuously develop an intimate personal relationship with God. As you begin to think about God as the ultimate Father your possibilities are limitless. This is why it is so important to have the Lord in your life. As you focus upon Him while going through God will then give you His peace to go through the conflict. God is a God of PEACE and JOY!
God really is able to keep you from falling. But if you are on the brink or simply disappointed or even a tad frustrated I think this song speaks in different ways to many. There is always room for improvement in all of us as long as the Lord has us on this side of Heaven. Regardless of where we are in our walk with the Lord, taking a Spiritual Bath in His Word is refreshing and exhilarating. It has marvelous miraculous cleansing power!I think you will be inspired. God can meet you wherever you are.
Let the Lord put a song in your heart
God can meet you wherever you are!
Wherever you are God knows. I know that He can get you wherever you need to be. So, If you are ever down and need a pick me up! PRAY! Then begin to actually put HIS WORD into practice. Praise and worship God consistently and regularly all through the day. I am beyond grateful for the Lord keeping me on the straight and Narrow Path.
God has uniquely designed each one of us. Everyone has a different testimony. But I am sure that there is some elements here in this song that is relatable. There is a song that I want to share with you. If you don’t have the strength ask Him for direction for He knows. The Words here are so profound and I am sure that wherever you are you will find some of the words helpful. This is one of the worship songs from the “Gospel Music Workshop of America”
“I Got My Joy back.”
I got my Joy back. I got a new lease on life. I got my Joy back, down in my soul. Since I let Him have full control. I’ll will let nothing separate me from His Love again. He restored my Joy and revived my soul again! Just like the prodigal son. I found myself in the hog pen. Oh, you know how satan can dress up sin, satan will make wrong seem right. That’s why we’ve got to stay Prayed up, and Focused, and keep looking to the LIGHT!
GOD’S JOY CAN SUSTAIN YOU!
God has been so good to me. I thought I was exempted from trials and tests. From a little child I’ve been abundantly blessed. Every materialistic thing, I wanted, My Mother had it for me there. But I Thank God she NEVER forgot to lead me to the House of Prayer. But when my test came, I stumbled, but I did not fall, I had the Holy Ghost, embedded within me. In God I did REJOICE. That He would lead me, and guide me, when I couldn’t see my way. Yes, He restored my JOY, and He revived my soul again!”
Through Christ Jesus you can do all things
I can truly say; “THE JOY of the LORD IS MY STRENGTH!” I know and realize that without the Lord I/we are nothing but just walking, breathing shaped formed dust. But Praise be to God He tells us through our Lord and Savior Christ Jesus “we can do all things.”
GOD truly can give you; “HIS PEACE that surpasses the understanding of man!” Patience is not a hallmark of our society. Tolerance is, but this is not the same thing as patience. Patience comes from God. “BE STILL & KNOW!” God’s grace is sufficient. Exercise your Faith knowing that; He is more than able in any and every situation. Yes, sometimes we will have to wait; Then like an eagle we can soar high above the clouds! We can always and forever trust God & His Word! Its time to move towards getting your JOY BACK! Remember; GOD IS FAITHFUL & HE ALWAYS KEEPS HIS PROMISES!
GOD’S JOY CAN SUSTAIN YOU!!!
True Beauty Comes From Within Part 2
March 26, 2019 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health

Life itself takes on a form of beauty when you access your heart’s wellspring. You slowly begin to blossom like a rose. Your true beauty is unlocked from within. When you have learned to “Hide the WORD of GOD within your heart” it will automatically spring forth. You will perceive things differently as you embrace the Truth of God’s Word. As you grow spiritually your soul is revived as well.
You now desire to live to daily embrace the truth of God’s Word! You do not just go along with the majority in order to be accepted. You realize the value in self-discipline. You are confident in who you are, realizing that with God ” we are forever becoming…” There is always room for improvement in all of us. You really can be content in the Lord. Your desire now, is also to live each day to please the Lord. Your increasing spiritual growth comes from consistently spending time with God. Knowing His Word and then actually applying it to your own life daily has marvelous benefits.
You realize that your soul is the essence of who you really are. It is the
part of you that will live with the Lord forever; if you are a believer. God can and will give you a strong sound mind. You never have to be harsh, loud and obnoxious. But you can be strong! “When you take care of a rose properly it will bloom longer…” Just know you will quite often be misunderstood and at times persecuted. Therefore, you make it a goal to “Walk in the Light.” For you know the Lord is with you wherever you go. God can keep you on the Narrow Path. This is central at the heart of your desires. Yes, it is here where TRUE BEAUTY lies as you remain focused and connected to the Lord!
Beauty of Prayer
Prayer is a genuine vitally important part of our life. Here we intersect and bond with God. Our body as His Temple becomes fortified. It is a place of safety being in an intimate up close conversation with God the Father our Creator. You can pray out loud. You can pray without even uttering a word. Or you can simply sit, stand, kneel, lay down prone flat with outstretched arms, or even walk about while praying.
Learn to daily practice “Praying without Ceasing” which is being in a spiritual God Centered mindset. This does not mean you are not at all oblivious to what is happening around you. It means you can pray all throughout your day as you are working and or going about your daily tasks. God is more concerned with the posture of our hearts than where we are physically whenever we pray. Make an altar upon your heart. Truly the Lord is absolutely aware of everything that is going on in, around and about us. The Lord has an amazing way of alerting us when something is not right. Prayer sharpens our discernment.
God knows who we are and who belongs to Him. He always leaves a remnant of His people who live for Him. When you are truly His you can expect much spiritual warfare on this side of heaven from just about everywhere. Yet, we don’t fight like the world does… Because “our weapons are not carnal…”
Do not compromise your principles and standards to get back at others. Give them to the Lord. This is why it is so important to get to know Christ Jesus as your personal SAVIOR! He has given us His Holy Spirit to help us 24/7. But is your choice to call upon Him.
There is an inner peace that comes from knowing who you are in Christ Jesus. Yes, you are His Child, but you are not to be childish. Nor do you have to tolerate foolishness from anyone regardless of their title or position in life. You should always seek to respond responsibly. This is actually how you become empowered! You continually seek ways to grow without conforming to the standards of this world. Yet you strive to have an interesting, fulfilling, balanced, realistic spiritual God Centered life.
The importance of having Jesus in your daily life!
Know this about Jesus. “He was born of the Virgin Mary He lived a sinless, life and was crucified, died and was buried, but he AROSE with ALL POWER!” Yes, He is alive and so is HIS WORD! It is our SPIRITUAL SWORD; and it is sharper than any two edge sword. ( not like two edged swords are used by man) GOD’S SWORD is sharper and much more powerful! When you use it properly it cuts both ways. It always pertains to the yielded vessel as well as to the recipient. So don’t just say anything in the Name of the Lord. It is important to learn how to use His Word wisely!
Whenever a trial comes our way we must learn to stand on the Word of God. Our Lord is a strong tower and an AWESOME solid rock foundation!
God Will Fight Your Battles
Whenever necessary “GOD WILL FIGHT YOUR BATTLES.” Remember; “His weapons are not carnal.” You must practice praying wherever you may be. This keeps you prepared for the unexpected. Staying connected to God has its benefits. As a believer you are to daily adorn yourself within the spiritual armor of the Lord. We on the other hand also must KNOW HIM and the POWER of CHRIST JESUS through HIS WORD! For they are one and the same. We never become the power we just merely gain access as we walk in obedience.
During a battle you want to make sure your inner beauty is not suppressed. By keeping your faith and trust in the Lord it is still possible for it to shine through… This is why we meditate, pray and ask to be filled daily. As learned disciples of Christ we are to become increasingly disciplined. God has given us the precious gift of His Holy Spirit as our Comforter. He keeps us and comforts us. His Holy Spirit also is what helps us to discern what is of Him. God is true to His Word. Remember, He is also the God of comfort. We can always and forever trust Him to be God He has promised to “never leave nor forsake us!”
Why Most Marriages Don’t Last! Part 4
July 25, 2017 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health
God created marriage to last for a lifetime. It was designed to be the ultimate relationship for oneness between a man and a woman. Here you both can physically and spiritually become one. Strive to enhance and improve every aspect of your lives together. It is important to create a nurturing living environment. Take care to affectionately tend your marriage consistently. Keep your marriage as you would a lovely well-kept garden. Always make your marriage a top priority.
Take care of your marriage
Take a look around your home it is a reflection of how you feel. Now take a look at your bedroom. What does it say to you? For example; If you leave your clothes lying all over the place and hang them up whenever you want to guess what? You tend to be selfish and insensitive and don’t really care about your shared environment. You are also being inconsiderate to your spouse when this becomes a habit. Guess what? If you had guests would you treat them differently. Start being more attentive, considerate, respectful and thoughtful towards one another.
Preventative maintenance is the key to keeping order. For example. I like everything in its place. it saves times and you know where to find things. I also like organization. This works for us because we both like things organized.
You may like just letting things be. Then on the weekend or once a month you scramble to get everything in order. Or you just push everything aside and deal with it whenever you feel like it. Or do you leave it all to your spouse to do whenever. This makes for a real comfortable no hassle environment for you & yours. No big deal I will get to it when I get to it. The point is what works for your household is what is best.
As your family grows you will have to make adjustments. Once or if you have children you want to model good behavior. Color coordinating things really helps. When you have a lot of children it makes things easier. Structure helps children to feel secure. So I say; “when you play put away.” You do have to learn to be flexible and reasonable. You can also solicit a house keeper. Being to rigid is not good. It is your home and your environment so do whatever works for you and yours.
What is most important that you seek to create a balance. Your living environment should be a place you all feel comfortable.
Each marriage is different and each marriage is what you both make it. If you want to make it better and if you want to improve start improving yourself. Stop neglecting yourself and only fixing yourself up for everyone else or when you go to work, go out or attend worship. Men are visual and so are women. Change for the better not the worst! Make a covenant with your eyes and always remain faithful to your spouse. Keep healthy boundaries and stay committed to honor your marriage. Do you take care of yourself like you did when you were dating? We are older now; NO! Still no excuse. Age like a fine antique. Or do you just throw yourself together now because after all you are married to him or her so what? You should take care of your self to the degree you did when you came together or better. Strive to become the “BEST YOU” at any age.
Marriage can be a wonderful experience of growing with the one you love it truly can last for a lifetime. Keep an exciting synergy between you. Being happy is a choice! When you truly invest yourself in your marriage it will always remain a priority. You can always look forward to going home.
Keeping GOD as the CENTER of your marriage is important. PRAY, read and study the WORD together. This will really enhance your marriage and your life. After all you did make a vow to HIM as well. Life is precious. Make it a point to get better not bitter. You truly can continually refine your relationship. You really can have a beautiful realistic marriage. You, your spouse, your children and everyone else benefits. You actually give others HOPE!
True Love lasts through forever
Make it a point to keep your marriage and your spouse happiness a priority. You can still enjoy the company of friends and loved ones. But don’t let everyone else but your spouse know what is going on with you and how you are feeling about you or them! Share with one another intimately. Have some fun activities together. Allow one another their space and freedom to breath. Don’t suffocate one another. When you don’t you will actually enjoy one another whenever you are together. Plan to have a marriage date weekly. Keep your marriage exciting. Again, I cannot say this enough; Keep one another and your marriage a priority.
Continually Invite love into your marriage and actually love on one another.
True Love lasts through forever. Be kindly affectionate towards one another. Unexpected hugs go a long way. Every touch does not have to lead to intercourse. Kiss one another whenever you are parting. Encourage one another. Take time to let one another in on what is going on in your life. How you feel, how you hurt and how you together want to keep love alive. Major in the Victories of life and minor in the disappointments. Life is Precious! CELEBRATE your marriage often. Be friends, lovers and partners. You both should desire what is best for one another. In a good healthy marriage you want one another to be the “Best You” you can be with one another by your side. You increasingly become One! This is true when GOD IS in the center of your marriage. You want and desire your marriage to last “until death do part.” Your vows remain important.
Happiness is a conscious choice. Commitment & fidelity is a choice. You can’t make them happy. However, you surely can greatly contribute to them becoming happier. Creating an intimate, loving, caring, warm, transparent, stable, secure and mutually inviting environment together helps tremendously. Here both of you can continue to grow and flourish together and make a beautiful fragrant bouquet that says “I LOVE YOU!” Now and through FOREVER!
ENJOY one another and KEEP Your “I DO” real! True LOVE lasts through ETERNITY!
Book Release: “A HOUSE of PRAYER (Not a Hospital)”
June 2, 2017 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Religion & Spirituality
In this 21st century it is believed by many that the Church is a hospital. It is often said that it is a place for the sick. Does this mean that no one ever gets well?
The Lord did not come to build hospitals. He came to restore us back to the Father and for us to have an abundant life in every way. The House of the Lord is a House of Prayer.
What is your place of worship? Is it a place of worship or a place of hospitality? What is its main objective? Is it a social place where many simply seek to find refuge with those they have much in common? Is it a place where you can come to take part in the activities and have a good time? A place to simply feel comfortable and accepted? A place where you can feel good, but not necessarily become transformed by the renewing of your mind by the Word of God!
THINK and ponder for a moment. Is your place of worship simply a hospital for sinners or a museum for saints? Is it here you can simply remain sick sinners for a lifetime?
The next time you are in an actual hospital look around and see all the hurting people. Take notice and see how crowded it is in the emergency room. How long the lines are, waiting for prescriptions to be filled. How long do you have to wait. Notice the many specialists, doctors, nurses and technicians scurrying about. Yes, it is serious business, how sad so many are ailing. They are all there for a multiplicity of reasons.
All things considered, is this really how you think “A House of Prayer” should really be?
All of these questions and more are addressed in my new book. Pick up a copy and go with me to my Father’s House, “A HOUSE of PRAYER (Not a Hospital).”
Why most marriages don’t last! Part 2
February 11, 2016 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Why Most Marriages Don’t Last!
Part 2
There has been a shift in the atmosphere!
Many marriages in this 21st century are in crisis. On the News, on the internet and all across the United States of America you see couples in distress. Marriages within the church, in your neighborhood and those on your jobs are also struggling. You can find many unique interesting stories about couples that can’t seem to work through their issues. What you read, see and hear are indicative of what is happening everywhere all over the globe!
This does not have to be.
A great marriage really is definitely possible. Marriage requires love, commitment, patience and lots of teamwork! Counseling is an alternative that helps and it can enhance your marriage. But your goal must be to work through the kinks in the marriage rather than let them persist. If you wait until your problems are seemingly insurmountable it will take some time to plow through your relationship dynamics. It is also and indication that you two have gotten slack. You have allowed your marriage to become secondary.
Yes, many couples all over the world are going through. But don’t be discouraged. Help is on the way! This does not have to be. You both need to get busy shifting your priorities. Time to look at some viable options.
Hmm perhaps counseling?
There are times when counseling is sought just as a last resort. You simply attempt to appease one another and are trying to buy some time… When this is the case; by the time the couple goes to counseling the problem is so bad that they just want to find out which spouse is responsible for their marriage problems? They are often just seeking support and approval to justify why they act or behave in the manner in which they do? The fact of the matter is your communication skills are lacking to the point you have lost some of your objectivity.
You now need or desire a neutral third-party to help you see if you can revive the marriage and get it back on track?
How can we get back on track?
The Truth of the matter is each spouse is not always equally responsible for each problem. Quite often a lot of old baggage has not been addressed and it becomes a recurring theme. Instead of getting discouraged get actively busy resolving your issues and the issues at hand. This is really a great time to further develop your communication skills.
Let’s see what God has to say!
You can and should also incorporate the Bible as wise counsel in your marriage. Not in a rigid legalistic manner but in a way to enhance your marriage. It is important that you marry someone who values the same life principles! However if this is not the case you can still consult the Lord’s Word. There is some superb, really great “stuff” in the Bible that many are not aware of. I mean this in a complimentary way. Try doing a word search on Marriage and see where it takes you. There are some great love stories as well as excellent examples of tests and trials. The Lord never intended for any of us to be unhappy and disappointed all the time… I suggest that you also go to Galatians 5 and learn the differences between the works of the flesh and the Fruit of His Spirit!
Remember those vows you made to God and your spouse! Well the Bible has a wealth of wisdom to help you in any and every situation. The Bible is like no other book. It is alive! Pray for direction from the Lord. Ask Him to speak to your heart.
Please, don’t just read the Bible you must actually implement the principles into your own personal life and marriage. It is not wise to use the Word to manipulate or hurl insults upon your spouse. After all the Lord KNOWS what He is talking about.
If you have a friend that is having marital conflict encourage them to seek helpful ways to resolve it. It is important to respect your marriage as well as the marriage of others. When asked for advice make it a point to be objective. Don’t experiment on their marriage and suggest things that are harmful rather than constructive. If you don’t know, tell them you don’t know. Help them look at the situation from all angles. Sometimes a listening ear is all that is necessary to sort through the problem. Never support abuse on any level in or from anyone… Learn to be a better friend by encouraging them to do what is right.
What is so interesting is that as adults you can do as you please. That is, unless you simply have no self-control yourself and are rather compulsive. In that case you just cannot restrain or discipline yourself and you freak out at the slightest little thing. The problem won’t just go away on its own… If this is the case you really need to put yourself in check and seek out getting some professional help! By the way prayer really does work!
Please if you know that your spouse has a short fuse don’t try to purposefully set them off. This does not mean that you are to be a doormat. Choose your battles wisely don’t encourage abuse or dysfunction in yourself or anyone else. Don’t be or become an enabler.
So why can’t you make a decision to work out your problems? It’s because you have opted to go the way of the majority or just “do your own thing!” You can simply do what makes you feel good instead at the expense of your spouse? Live together and really be miles apart. But is it really good for you or your marriage? No! That’s called being selfish! At this point, the marriage has become more about “you” rather than about “us!” It’s my house, my car, my money, my furniture my name, my way or the highway, my… Somebody has a bad case of “Me”ness! No wonder you are in such a quandary.
You have now or will be joining the not happily ever after club soon! That is unless you decide to make your marriage a priority. So get busy doing something different; like making some improvements. Take a good look at what is going on or not going on. Reposition yourself and change the direction and get back on track. Sincerely work at reconciling your difference.
The first step for getting your marriage back on track is taking responsibility for your own actions. Stop behaving as though you are in the relationship by yourself. It is called being considerate. Your spouse is neither your servant nor parent! They are supposed to be your partner… Start treating your spouse the way you would like to be treated for starters. Life is precious. So humble yourself and let pride take a backseat. Take the wheel and take your marriage to a higher level.
Celebrate your marriage! Encourage one another and if necessary encourage yourself like King David. Don’t let anyone steal your JOY! If you have get busy getting it back!
There is Hope; Addiction Relief is Possible Part 1
January 1, 2016 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health, Marriage & Relationships
Part 1
Addiction relief is possible. Few want to readily openly discuss addiction. But since there has been such an overwhelming influx of problems worldwide related to addiction it warrants the spotlight. But, there are reasons for alarm when an addiction is apparent. This needs to be addressed. It will not just go away. If not it will at some point impede upon your relationship.
Transparency is necessary in order to build intimacy. Your addiction will inhibit intimacy developing within your marriage. The addiction also prohibits you from being transparent. Love, transparency, trust and intimacy are essential components in building a healthy safe satisfying marriage.
Your Addiction says you are hurting
A clear indicator that you are hurting is addiction. You have simply found an unhealthy way to cope with your deep pain. Your addiction can be to alcohol, cocaine, heroin, marijuana. Uppers, downers, prescription drugs, gambling, caffeine, pornography and or illicit sex. People food and even shopping. Yes and there are more… Even wanting approval from others can be addicting. Guess what? You have only found a way to momentarily relieve or somewhat ease your infuriating inner pain; it is still there. The addiction is a flag that something is wrong. You need to seek a healthy resolve. Addiction relief is possible.
I say momentarily because while under the influence or indulging in the activity of choice you are able to somewhat escape. However the systemic cause remains because the pain returns whenever you are alone. Often more vehement than ever before. This causes you to pursue passionately that which you are addicted to. Having an addiction of any kind is serious. Many can be life threatening because you are out of control. Your desires consume you and disables your ability to be responsible or demonstrate contol. The ability to genuinely love is questionable. Instead the activity controls you and you will do whatever it takes to get a “quick fix!”
The misuse and dependency upon opiates has become of great concern worlwide. Not everyone becomes addicted from illegal drugs. Many have become addicted through the use of prescriptions medications. This should not be. This will greatly impact your spouse, children, home, work and career.
How does this impact my marriage?
Good question. Marriage is a partnership and when one has an addiction they are not able to fully commit because the addiction is often their main priority. Well, the spouse that is unaware is often kept in the dark. Secrets, lies and deception accompany addiction. The addiction is used to fill the insatiable void in the addicted partner’s heart. It instead becomes their companion. This leaves their spouse out in the cold. Know, addiction relief is possible.
Your addiction creates undo tension. You need to learn to communicate openly and honeestly with your spouse. Afterall you are supposed to be one. Your addiction is robbinh you of building a beter relationship.
Causes or addiction triggers
A disordered family, peer pressure, cultural influences, abuse, incest, rape, molestation, lack of self-esteem and a weakness to experiment can all contribute to one developing an addiction.
We live in a drug friendly worldly environment. Daily we are bombarded with the invitation to take this pill or that pill. Notice how many television commercials attempt to sell you something to feel better. Look how the dinner hour has become the prime time for what I call commercial pushers. There are a multiplicity of pushers of all sort. Doctors also oblige patients with tranquilizers, stimulants, pain pills, sleeping pills even pills to wake you up!
Commitment in marriage is important
Keeping your commitments are important. Embracing your vows is important. Did you not commit to Him as well? One thing that needs to be promoted more is a personal relationship with the Lord! Marriage is ordained by God. Did you know marriage was designed to be the ultimate sacred relationship between a man and a woman. A strong marraige can also help you prioritize life and put all your other relationships into their proper perspective. Your marriage can help you develop a healthier living environment as you work together
Building trust is an important part of marriage. Addiction relief is possible.
As we commit to building healthier home environments we contribute to lessening the number of addictions continuing to escalate. Not everyone has addiction issues. In some addictions have unconsciously been passed down through generations. A safe home environment does not always exclude addiction; but it does serve to nurture those who are there. If this has been the case the possibility to break the generational cycle of dysfunction becomes attainable. You can change this! Yes, addiction relief is possible.
Develping a Healthy Support System
It is important to seek ways to validate one another. To develop an ongoing healthy support system that says I love and sincerely care. No this does not mean you support the addiction. Neither do you allow it to become the white elephant in the room no one notices. However, you must confront the addiction. You can also find healthy ways to make them feel uncomfortable. Also learn to separate the behavior from the person. Encourage them to be the best they can be. Find ways to help them become who they were created to be without the addiction.
Working together
God created each of us uniquely and we have varying temperaments. Our needs are different when these needs are not met a void is created and therefore one seeks to often erroneously fill that void. Marriage is about working together to find healthier ways to fill some of those voids with a committed partner… There are some voids that can only be filled by God.
Your partner is not responsible for your addiction you are. Both must hold one another accountable for their actions! You both are accountable to God for the vows you made… Remember, “for better or for worse…”
In this 21st century emotional gasoline has flamed the fires of addiction. Pain, grief and stress not dealt with properly are great contributors that drive unhealthy desires. This does not have to be. God’s Holy Spirit His Comforter is more than able.
Addiction is big business therefore it is often rationalized and one can easily find access and support. Your addiction does not usually happen overnight it is a gradual process that begins with a series of steps… So remember; theis help. Addiction relief is possible!
Next we will discuss some of those steps;
Learn How To Overcome Bitterness Part 1
October 2, 2009 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health, Featured Articles
What’s been eating you?
Is there something that is bothering you? Are you bitter? Something that you can’t talk about? Has someone hurt you that you can’t forgive? Did someone say something to you that you can’t shake loose? Has someone taken something away from you; or wronged you in some way? Do you crave acceptance? Do you feel rejected? Are you, impatient, frustrated, fed up, and just plain angry? Does the slightest little thing set you off?
What’s eating you now?
Whatever the case don’t let it continue to hold you a prisoner. If you don’t do something about it, you will only allow the seed of bitterness to become rooted and develop deep within. Slowly but surely it will cultivate and grow. Think for a moment the chances are great that whomever has wronged you has probably moved on and not even given the matter a second thought. However you are stuck.
Time to let bitterness it go!
Each time you dwell on whatever it is without letting go, it grows. The longer you hold on to it, it will slowly but surely begin to eat at you from the inside out. Unattended it will cause you to become depressed, physically ill, have much anxiety, depression, panic attacks, cancer, high blood pressure or migraine headaches. The end of possibilities goes on…
When you allow whatever it is that is bothering you to grow, fester and internally aggravate you, it will eventually make you bitter. It will continue to impact you, your marriage, your friendships as well as your working relationships.
Stop Reacting!
Although you have tucked it away for no one to see. Pushed it to the back of your mind only to silently gnaw away at your joy. As each year passes it is still there. The bitterness surfacing from time to time like a virus. The slightest little thing will trigger it. Someone will be able to push your button like pushing a remote control and set you off! You in turn loose control and impulsively react.
Learn how to responsively respond.
Did you know how the worm gets into the apple?
Did you think it gets in from the outside in? Well it doesn’t. It has scientifically been proven. What happens is an insect actually lays an egg on the apple’s blossom. At some point the egg then hatches within the apple. As it grows, it eats away the apple and burrows its way to the outside. When you allow bitterness to nest, it like the worm begins to grow and erode the fiber of your being. It will eat away your happiness. Inside it will grow and tunnel its way out and manifest itself as sin.
TRULY GOD IS GOOD!
How do you stop what’s eating you from eating away at the core of your being? Periodically take a personal inventory. First keep in mind you cannot undo what has been done. Second, allow whatever bitterness that has been sitting in the warehouse of your mind, to come to the forefront. As anything resurfaces hold it up to the Light of God’s Word. Third, Meditate upon the Word of God. For it is a marvelous Library of Essential Spiritual Wisdom.
By the way you can read all day long but if you don’t implement it, then its just mere words.
Ask the Lord to help you and to open up your understanding. Begin to acknowledge any ill will or bad feelings you are having. Move towards letting go of the pain by; forgiving the offense, the offender, and forgiving the deed. By the way forgiving does not mean forgetting unless you have amnesia.
What does it mean to forgive?
Forgiving does not mean that you have to overlook what has happened. Christ Jesus forgave those who crucified Him. “Father forgive them for they know not what they do…” But we must never forget the penalty He paid. Nor do we have to continue to allow anyone to crucify us, nor disrespect us!
GOD says; REPENT!
Forgiving means that you give up the resentment. Resentment means to feel the pain of the action over and over again. When you hold on to the resentment it turns to bitterness, that only continues to further hurt you. So, learn to become ” Strong in the Lord! ” Daily nurture your heart with the WORD of GOD!
Don’t allow anyone to lay eggs on your blossoms!
God can teach you how to properly guard your heart. However; You must also surrender your right to get even. Each day is a day to grow in God’s grace. Give it, your issues, her, him or them to the Lord! Life and time is precious. God can handle them all a lot better than you can… He says; “Vengeance is mine I will repay…” Allowing any anger to slowly come to the surface helps you gain self control, you can then rise above it. Focus and reset!
God’s Holy Spirit; His Comforter is more than able to help you…