WHITNEY HOUSTON

Interview with Oprah

I waited enthusiastically when I discovered that Whitney Houston was going to be interviewed by Oprah Winfrey. I made sure my husband and I left the office early enough so I could hear the interview. Although I missed the first few minutes, this in itself let me know that it was going to be an interesting and intriguing treat. It was absolutely PHENOMONAL!!!

Whitney Houston is a dynamic soulful expressive, lyrical songstress. This singer’s singer has sold over 170 million combined videos, CD’s and albums. She has (7) seven times over had the No.1 Billboard Hot consecutive release. “The Guinness Book Of World Records lists Whitney as music’s “most awarded female artist of all time.” Whitney has gracefully shared her blessings. She has The Whitney Houston Foundation For Children Inc., her foundation cares for homeless children, children with HIV and self-esteem problems and empowerment issues. In addition to this she has labored sponsoring many charity benefits around the world.

No doubt Oprah genuinely loves Whitney. She later exudes her enthusiasm and sheds tears of sheer joy as Whitney renders one cut from her new project! Oprah set the tone by spotlighting Whitney Houston in a wonderful solo intimate environment on stage, up close and intimately personal. It was in this arena Whitney Houston opened and bared her heart with her friend Oprah. The two talked intimately about her life and what has been going on.  She shared some of her downfalls as well as her desire to rise once again beyond them. The interview was like listening in on one of their private conversations. Here they together allowed us the viewing public to listen in as well as Whitney Houston firsthand shared her bewildered and tormented journey over the last couple of years.

So often because of the level of fame, fortune and stardom it is often forgotten that regardless stars and superstars are still people. The difference is they often live in glasshouses.  It is not as desirable as some might think. Where the press lurks all too often prodigiously waiting, readily armed with a camera for the opportunity to capture them in a dimmer light. To magnify their flaws and undermine their right to hurt, feel pain and force them to publicly showcase their struggles as they flounder to overcome an apparent issue, or personal crisis. All the often the pressure takes them under. There is indeed a cost for fame.  It is not all glamor  and glitter.

After the unfortunate death of Michael Jackson it is wonderful that Whitney Houston was able to manage to  rise above her addiction. She vehemently testifies that with her faith in God and through the supportive arduous love of her Mother she is attempting to press forward.  Whitney was strong willed so as a result she was not always open to  allow help from a strong Christian mother and some family and friends.  In the interim she was momentarily able to  remain on this side of heaven proclaiming her victory is in the Lord!

A view into Whitney’s life

Whitney Houston was born on the 9th of August in 1963 in Newark New Jersey. She is from a musically multi talented family and down through the years she has performed with some of the greatest. She has sung on just about every continent. Whitney Houston no doubt is a child of God and the foundation of her Faith and belief in God has spurned the buoyancy that led her through her prodigal detour from which she has  emerged victoriously!

She voraciously shares her spiral into cocaine abuse. She candidly shares some of her and Bobby Brown’s passionate, fun, enabling dysfunctional, rocky tumultuous and often turbulent episodes during their marriage. She takes responsibility for her poor choices.  No doubt  some have been inappropriate.

Whitney Houston then further begins verbalizing her deep abiding faith and trust in the Lord and her Mother’s perseverance to help turn her back to her roots. After counseling, reading, prayer, much love and support from some of her family and friends she is  applying the Scriptures which have  abetted breaking some of her dangerous strongholds.

Whitney Houston’s Mother the infamous Cissy Houston and Aunt Dionne Warrick are stars in their own rights; along with a host of many others expressed their love and thankfulness for Whitney’s outstanding vocal ability. She has a beautiful vocally talented teenage daughter Bobby Christina that was born during her marriage to Bobby Brown who has supported her all the way. Whitney has accomplished much in her lifetime. Her single “I Will Always Love You” was the biggest commercial single release in history.

It was during her marriage to Bobby Brown that Whitney Houston began a momentarily descent into cocaine and marijuana use. It is with intensive honesty that she shares the details of this passionate and life changing marriage, fight, fuss, make up, breakup that finally ended in divorce. “Yes I did cocaine.” admits Ms. Houston. She and Bobby had a very passionate, physically sexual marriage and yes, she says she always remained faithful! Despite his many infidelities she says she believes in “HOLY MATRIMONY!” Not trying to excuse or encourage the path of pandemonium that took place she shares the intense passion they shared along with the destructive extremely addictive use of cocaine and marijuana.  In her own words; “She loved that man …” I won’t tell it all here.

This interview is a definite must see!

What I will say that my heart clapped as she glowed with honesty sharing her trip to rehab with her beloved daughter at her side. She unequivocally and explicitly expressed her love for the Lord, her daughter and her Mother.  Just maybe others will see, listen and learn what not to do. As a result Whitney has a cultivated a very close bond with her only  daughter.

Whitney shares how she really longed to just live away from the spotlight. Yes, she not so gracefully stepped away momentarily and irresponsibly binged on cocaine. Even tried to step back to be Mrs. Bobby Brown. She admitted this too was another faulty mistake to attempt to live in his shadow. But her escape from being in the limelight as she waited still for Bobby to re-emerge to the forefront was futile…

Whitney’s roots in the Lord go deep. Because of it she has persevered and believes her faith in God has been fortified.  She is glowingly unashamedly as she testifies to the wonderfulness in her transitioning from her detour back to where she belongs. Her God-given gift refined just that much more.

As Oprah and Whitney peered into each others’ eyes you could feel the genuine cohesiveness they emitted in their desire to share transparently their frank, truthful conversation. Remembering the monumental  successes; Whitney Houston‘s Body Guard record was the biggest selling soundtrack ever, then Waiting to Exhale and Preachers’ Wife? Whitney has matured and believes she is better than ever. There is no doubt that Whitney has a God given gift of singing. The title song is a spirit-filled fabulous testimonial rendition. The resilient vibrancy in her soul rings clear with such unmistakable clarity. Her new Project “I LOOK To YOU” is dedicated to God who is the source of her strength. It is already No.1 on the charts. Blessings Whitney, you must forever keep looking up!

UPDATE!

Unfortunately on February 11th Whitney Houston tragically  transitioned this life. She was found dead at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in Los Angeles. How dreadful, for this was  on the eve before she was to perform at the Grammy Award’s Ceremony! Initially the cause of her death was unknown… Later to be revealed her depressive state of mind, plus the combination  of drugs and alcohol caused her to drown in a bathtub…  There is no doubt that Ms. Houston was an extremely talented and gifted woman. No doubt she continuously wrestled relentlessly with pain and it was at times she was noticeably in despair. We must always be prayerful the spiritual warfare can be quite vehement… The enemy lurks and waits for the opportunity to find a weak link or a point of vulnerability to bring the children of God down…

May her passing motivate others to be mindful to stay close to the LORD! For we know not when we will draw our last breath. Lord have mercy on her soul… She passed away at the tender age of only 48 years old! Prayers and Condolences for her Mother, Daughter and Family. She will be missed by many! May she Rest In Peace!https://www.amazon.com/Holy-Matrimony-That-Were-Married/dp/1420851349/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=Holy+Matrimony+deborrah+k.+ogans&qid=1568078171&s=gateway&sr=8-3

There is HELP; Addiction Relief is Possible! Part 5

 

How drugs affect your body and your mind?

Drug abuse continues to escalate. Addiction is real! It is taking its casualties all over the world.  There is help for your addiction! Drugs change the natural chemistry of the human body. For some drugs  are necessary therapeutic medicinal healing aids to facilitate improving ones health. For millions of people they help to sustain a certain quality of life. 

 

In cases such as diabetes, heart disease, cancer, infections and  viruses drugs are helpful.  They help to  ease discomfort in broken bones, sprains and the pain of arthritis. These are just a few of the plethora of ailments that are usually controlled by drugs. In these cases they are usually necessary and beneficial. There is HELP for your addiction.

 

Medical drugs are used everyday

Doctors treat many illnesses, diseases and conditions with medical drugs every day! Drugs may be chewed, swallowed, injected, inhaled or sniffed. There are legitimate as well as illegitimate uses for drugs. One can become addicted in both cases. The use of drugs illegally is far more dangerous. When one has a spouse who engages in drugs and or alcohol it is much harder to establish intimacy. Their need for drugs and drinking is more important than their need to be emotionally available.

 

It is not wise to use drugs that are not personally prescribed for you nor those purchased illegally. Drugs alter the chemistry of the brain and make you feel different. A physician takes into consideration your current health status, your weight and symptoms when prescribing a prescription. The more you use drugs the more your brain chemistry becomes altered. There is help for your addiction!

 

You are out of control!

When a person becomes addicted they are out of control. The drug or behavior of choice now has taken over.  And the desire is now to “fix” the way they are feeling. How you feel  takes priority over everything! They are no doubt self-centered and will quite often do whatever is necessary just to “feel good.” This is why it is prefable  to be under the care of a trained physician. They  know how to properly prescribe the proper medication. This is necessary  to address any physical or mental ailments. f you have no self-control. Even under the care of a qualified doctor one can still become chemically dependent and addicted to drugs.

 

Pain is real!

The addict is in pain and has lost their ability to cope with reality unless they are under the influence. Drugs and or alcohol have become the priority! They have developed an unhealthy habit and desire to experience a level of pleasure and/or the need to escape from reality. Life can be difficult and often people are thrust into situations and terrible living conditions that are unbearable.

 

Childhood trauma and cumulative issues not dealt with fester and cause emotional pain. People often carry many unresolved issues into their relationships… This can forbid them from being transparent. This can also hinder them from maturing. The marriage then often suffers from neglect and lack of intimacy. This causes much conflict within he marriage. The spouse with the addiction is often emotionally unavailable. It is important to seek viable help.

 

Your marriage really  should be a priority

To some marriage can be a game rather than a sacred union. Rather than being responsible the addicted spouse is selfish. A secondary marriage addiction example. I was the Sacramento Marriage Examiner for many years… There was a man in the area who was arrested for participating in numerous marriage unions. He also arranged as many as 39 bogus marriages for others. 

 

He profited for a fee at the expense of others unhappiness. This was not good.   It was a total disregard for moral principles. This was a terrible selfish abusive pattern in operation. Marriage is supposed to be sacred. It is important to take time to get to know who you are marrying… This man’s selfish deceptive actions hurt many people. He had no intention of making a virtuous commitment. It is evident that he had an unhealthy addiction to the idea of marriage and fulfilling his own desires.

 

The basis of a good healthy relationship is trust

Trust can be shattered like a glass vase. Leaving one traumatized! It can erode when one is not attentive to the needs of their spouse creating an abyss. Marriage is about coming together and building a great partnership. Affair proof your marriage. Keep God in the center of your marriage! It can be tedious regaining trust again but it is possible. It is always important to be honest about your pain and however you are feeling.

 

Disillusioned by a break in trust usually leaves the spouse empty and needy. Which also makes them vulnerable… Building or establishing an ongoing relationship with the Lord will build a stronger foundation that will help to keep you anchored. God is available 24/7! The Lord is true to His Word! “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight!” Proverbs 3.

 

Sexual Addiction

Sexual addiction is quite threatening to a marriage. It is an intimacy problem. Millions of people in the US sand all around the world uffer from sexual addictions. The person with a sexual addiction has a hard time connecting to and making a monogamous commitment. They are caught up in a vicious cycle of having their own needs met at any cost. The spouse’s needs are usually ignored and neglected due to the spouses self-indulgence. It is important to keep and maintain healthy boundaries in your marriage.

 

Respect your marriage as well as the marriages of others. Stop giving yourself away. This should NOT be. Don’t just connect to anything or anybody. You should learn to be happy by yourself before you think that you can be happy with your spouse. Revisit your vows don’t let them become mere words. Remember; You both committed not only to your one another but to GOD! There is HELP for your addiction.

 

There is HELP for your Addiction!

Addiction that is not addressed will not just go away. REPENT! Commit or recommit to God and your spouse. Tell them you need HELP! Tell them you are sincerely sorry. If you are not truly sorry you will repeatedly fall into a pattern of addiction. Restoration is a choice; it takes a lot of work but it is possible. You will have to build a new relationship with a strong foundation of transparency and trust. With the HELP of the Lord; You can come forth from the fire of addiction like pure gold!

 

You  Really NEED HELP!

Godly counsel and much time spent in fervent prayer are needed along with a necessary redemptive confrontation. The confrontation means I care enough to “Speak the Truth in Love.” Confrontation brings the issues to the forefront. You must be willing to face your demons. Demons meaning the supernatural malevolent influences that have held you captive to do harm to your mind-body and soul. They keep you in a daily battle to control your destiny. This does not have to be. There is NO power stronger than GOD!

 

This has caused you to hurt those around you as well. They have suffered greatly. Although through a lot of it you were somewhat unconscious; start by apologizing for your behavior. Yes you were under the influence. It is important that the issues are then addressed immediately. Keep it real! There is HELP for your addiction.

 

Deal with your issues

If you or your spouse has an addiction of any kind; Please DO NOT delay seeking help. The longer you wait the harder it is to make the necessary lifestyle and environment changes. You can be delivered! You must want to break free! A couple that has a strong healthy marriage bond can be a great mentor and a source of encouragement. The TRUTH always prevails!

 

You have vowed to be there for one another for better or for worse? Begin to take care of yourself and make it a point to look your best. Not just in a superficial way. But to discipline yourself to take better care of your body that houses your soul. Don’t just look good but be or get in a good place emotionally… Embrace moral principles. There is HELP for your addiction.

 

If you are reading this and you are single. Start dealing with your issues now before you commit to marry.  Have a  transparent conversation about addiction prior to marriage. When you marry someone with an addiction you have married their addiction. You get a somewhat superficial façade of who they really are. Such as how they cope when not under the influence. Well usually they don’t. They usually become annoying, impatient and cantankerous It is important to know that a good strong marriage is built on TRUST! If necessary recommit to your vows and start anew.

 

 

GOD CAN HEAL Any Addiction!

The road to recovery and healing will be tedious. There are some who make up their mind and are done with the dysfunctional cycle. They readily hold fast to their dedication to take back control of their life. Others vary some taking longer than others yet, dedicated to changing. Stop making excuses and make it a goal to recapture your self-respect dignity and integrity. You can change but it is your choice. Reach daily for self-control!

Congratulations you are on the right road now! It is called “Straight and Narrow!”  There is HELP for your addiction.

Now let’s get busy moving forward building better, stronger, satisfying, trusting enduring relationships and marriages! Be encouraged to become the “Best You!” Stay on the straight and narrow. “PRAY without ceasing” all throughout your day. This is what keeps us connected to the Lord! This is also how you build a “Solid Rock” intimate relationship with the Lord! Know that Great Healthy Relationships and Great Marriages (without addiction) are truly still possible! GOD IS MORE THAN ABLE!

There is HOPE: Addiction Relief is Possible! Part 3

 

 

Step 3 Regular Usage

When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” The substance abuser will now use others in an attempt to satisfy their addiction.  This often leads to a multiplicity of dysfunction on many levels. Satisfying the addiction is often done in secrecy as well as with others. The frequency in which they do so has now escalated and impedes on their day-to-day life.

 

The addiction can still go undetected because they cleverly camouflage or conceal their addiction of choice! As one looks closely the signs are all there. A spouse may not be aware because they can appear normal to a degree. A multiplicity of excuses is rendered when they are questioned? A user will cleverly find ways to satisfy the addiction.  Deception comes along with addiction it can greatly hinder or destroy your marriage and other relationships as well.

Truth, intimacy and trust are important components in building a good strong marriage, and healthy relationships or a family!

 

Step 4 full-blown

Day in and day out the addiction has now taken over. The addict will now do whatever to satisfy his or her obsession. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” It  has completely taken control. Their life cycle is getting, using, doing drugs, alcohol or whatever the addiction is… They are now compulsively spiraling increasingly downhill… Denial and selfishness has become their companion. For many it takes hitting rock bottom before they will admit they need help!

They have indulged themselves to the point that their brain chemistry has changed drastically! Their spiritual aptitude has been suppressed. To attempt to stop means that they will go through a period of painful withdrawal! The high that they used to receive is now an insatiable voracious uncontrollable craving. A mere ferocious “monkey is on their back!” They cannot feel normal unless they are under the influence or indulging in the activity.

 

What really  needs to be “Fixed?”

Not realizing that normal is now far from them. They are consumed by their need to do whatever is necessary to satisfy their addiction. Their family, friends, job, talents, resources are all being destroyed by their inability to control their compulsive need for a fix!

How interesting that they so paradoxically “Need a fix!” What really needs to be fixed is their deep cavernous inner pain… Addiction is a vicious cycle. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” If your spouse, friend or coworker  is in any of these stages it is important to confront them in love. Redemptive confrontation is a way to begin to address whatever the addiction is. Don’t be an enabler. Love does not mean making someone feel comfortable in sin and self indulgence. If not confronted your love one’s life will spiral out of control if in fact that is not the case already.

 

Addiction impacts your marriage and relationships

Marriage is a wonderful relationship. God has created for us to learn how to properly relate to our spouses in every way. It is the ultimate monogamous sacred partner/co-worker relationship! It is through a committed marriage with God as the center one can learn how to overcome their weaknesses. A good marriage can or will keep you from addiction. When addiciton progresses it requires a “FIX!”  Truly GOD is OMNISCIENT! He is the ultimate source of Godly Wisdom. He knew when we were created that we would need Him in all areas of our lives.

 

In a God Centered Marriage He keeps man and woman joined together for life. Ever growing in His wisdom as they both stay connected to Him. A strong marriage takes to whole people. Yet; both realizing with the Lord that “we together become one.” “What God has joined together let not man put asunder.” Within the context of a committed marriage there is power and unity! With the Help of the Lord you can whether the storms of life and emerge Victoriously. MARRIAGE to GOD IS SACRED! It is in fact; HOLY MATRIMONY!

 

Building healthier boundaries

Addiction is a weakness. Drugs, alcohol, cannabis, vaping,  illicit sex, pornography or whatever; are all used to help one to feel good! However as an addict they have no boundaries and they are constantly seeking more ways to alleviate their uncontrollable desires. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” This only drives them deeper into despair and uncertainty. With the help of the Lord you can overcome addiction. For with God “All things are possible!”

 

When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!”

Marriage was wonderfully designed by God so we could get some of our needs met. There are some needs that can only be met by God! It is important to respect your marriage as well as the marriages of others. God honors marriage. When you honor your marriage you honor God!

A spouse can be a great facilitator in helping the cycle of the dysfunction of addiction being broken! It is difficult because it requires exercising good boundaries. Praying and interceding for your spouse is key as well as seeking and taking direction from the Lord!

 

An Intervention is Really Necessary

An intervention is necessary! Once the addiction has been confronted it is important to seek healthier ways to cope. Remember there are many forms of addiction. It can be an addiction to just about anything. Not everyone has a tendency towards addiction. Yet keep in mind that we all are forever becoming. Therefore we all need to work on improving and increasing our own personal disciplines.

Be compassionate and have empathy but not to the point you further enable them. Be firm and set boundaries. Encourage them to take responsibility for overcoming their addition. They need to own their problem! They need to be active in seeking ways to resolve their addiction. Help by being their and remembering; addiction is a plea for help! Encourage them to discover healthier ways to fill their deep inner void.

There is absolutely nothing in your life that God is not aware of. He Loves you! He wants you to reach out to Him! You can do this wherever you are. Learning to surrender to HIM is very important!

 

How’s Your Relationship with the Lord?

Developing a genuine intimate personal relationship with the Lord will help you begin to better cope! Your need to be under the influence will dissipate. You will become better able to face life and situations soberly. God wants an up close personal relationship with us. Here one must be careful as well. There are those who develop an addiction to religion. When addiciton progresses it requires a “FIX!” They become very religious which also creates a void… It becomes just another escape. This is not the same thing as having a healthy personal intimate relationship with the Lord.

 

It is important to spend time in His Word getting to know Him through His Word. You embrace and implement His Word in your daily life. You do not just merely wrotely learn how to quote it. God’s word becomes embedded within your heart. You begin to grow spiritually. Your inner peace increases. You desire to walk in the Light more. His Holy Spirit brings the Word to the forefront of your mind to HELP you sin less. Here you can discover what life is really all about. Here you can discover your purpose and the Freedom God wants for you.

 

Your indentity without the Addiction

One must seek to discover who they are without the addiction. To nurture the inner child that wants it’s way at all cost. To learn to better exercise self-control! Now that this is out in the open the addiction is exposed! This is what the road to recovery is all about. One must begin to monitor their feelings to see what triggers their desires. What is the root cause of them losing themselves into addiction? How do I begin to move from the addiction being the center of my life? God does have a better way!

There is a way out of addiction. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!”  Focusing now on your spouse’s strengths is very important. Give them encouragement without being controlling or manipulating. Pray for them and give them to the Lord. No you don’t abandon them. However you no longer do for them what they should be doing for themselves. This helps them find their way back to becoming responsible and reliable! Encouraging them to allow the “JOY of the LORD to be their strength”. God wants to be the center of your life. “Jesus came that you might have life and has it to the full.” John 10.

Next we will discuss some of the causes of addiction!
See Part 4

There is Hope; Addiction Relief is Possible! Part 2

Part 2

Steps To Drug Addiction

There is Hope; Addiction relief is possible! Addiction is a compulsive behavior. There are steps to drug addiction. Know this;  addiction is not a behavior or goal a person usually sets out to acquire. It is rarely if ever  intentionally.  Whenever, addiction happens there is an unhealthy dependency formed. The addiction can be upon a substance. Or an activity or habit which is gradually developed over a period of time. This time period varies for each individual.

Did you now; addiction is considered a disease by many in the medical profession. Some have a predisposition to being addicted that makes them more susceptible. One then usually seeks to cope with their inner pain erroneously. Depending heavily  upon an external source eventually results in a dependency on it for an unhealthy comfort. Unknowingly user compulsively indulges themselves without restraint and becomes seduced. More and more they gradually enter a world of escape!

Step 1 Experimentation

Their are steps to drug addiction.  The first step into addiction is when someone experiments and there becomes a gradual progression. For some it becomes a beloved affair. They readily fall into dependence upon a particular substance or activity. Alcohol and Cannabis (pot) are usually where they start? It has been said that cocaine is quite deceptive and after one try many become “hooked!” One will never quite experience that first climactic high! However they will incessantly try again and again to achieve the euphoric exhilarating high! Some have even declared that they have “fallen in love” with rock cocaine only after the very first use!

Addiction can happen faster for a teenager or tweeny because they have not yet developed strong restraints. Their brain and nervous system is still developing. Therefore they can fall into alcoholism, pot smoking, drugs or pornography easier than an adult. Many have now been seduced into vaping! Many children have become hooked due to the appealing flavors.  At first vaping was thought of as somewhat harmless.  Please if you have not don’t ever vape!  There is Hope; Addiction relief is possible!

If you don’t experiment; Guess what? You won’t get hooked! Often when someone tries drugs and don’t like them they will not continue. They don’t like how they feel when under the influence.

Food is a very hard addiction to overcome because it is vitally necessary to sustain one’s life.  Therefore they must learn how to get their addiction under control and live with it daily. It is important to learn to relate to food properly.  Food is essential. So, seek to find a balance in all areas of your life. Be encouraged! It is possible to master any addiction with the HELP of the LORD!  There is Hope; Addiction relief is possible!

Step 2 Occasional  recreational usage

This is when drugs or alcohol are used in social settings!  They are used recreationally.   This is another; NO! Many  allow themselves to be influenced by their peers and opt to go along with the group. There are some users who stay here and do not go on to daily use drugs.   They simply do not like them. Then there are some, who only use alcohol and drugs on the weekend and don’t consider themselves to have an addiction. They claim to use it for recreational purposes only.

Addiction is so widespread in this 21st century that just about everyone has been impacted to some degree. It crosses all socioeconomic boundaries. And is prevalent within all colors, races and cultures. This is true both inside and outside of God’s Church. Addiction within marriage can go undetected when you are not close to your spouse.

It really is important to be transparent with your spouse in order to build a safe intimate marriage. It is also important to educate yourself about addiction. It is important to pray for your spouse, relatives, friends, coworkers or and love ones. There is Hope; Addiction relief is possible!

A treatment program can be very expensive. Check your health insurance and see what options or health benefits are available to you. Later on we will discuss outpatient, in patient, and residential programs. Know that having a personal relationship with the Lord makes or can make all the difference in the world! He can work through Christian and non Christians to help you through the recovery process… Keep in mind doctors and therapist treat and practice; GOD HEALS!

Next we will discuss advanced steps in addiction

Part 3

There is Hope; Addiction Relief is Possible Part 1

 

 

 

Part 1

Addiction relief is possible. Few want to readily openly discuss addiction.  But since there has been such an overwhelming influx of problems worldwide related to addiction it warrants the spotlight.   But, there are reasons for alarm when an addiction is apparent. This  needs to be addressed. It will not just go away.  If not it will at some point impede upon your relationship.

 

 

Transparency is necessary in order to build intimacy. Your addiction will inhibit intimacy developing within your marriage. The addiction also prohibits you from being transparent. Love, transparency, trust and intimacy are essential components in building a healthy safe satisfying marriage.

 

Your Addiction says you are hurting

A clear indicator that you are hurting is addiction. You have simply found an unhealthy way to cope with your deep pain. Your addiction can be to alcohol, cocaine, heroin, marijuana.  Uppers, downers, prescription drugs, gambling, caffeine, pornography and or  illicit sex.  People food and even shopping. Yes and there are more… Even wanting approval from others can be addicting. Guess what? You have only found a way to momentarily relieve or somewhat ease your infuriating inner pain; it is still there. The addiction is a flag that something is wrong. You need to seek a healthy resolve.  Addiction relief is possible.

 

I say momentarily because while under the influence or indulging in the activity of choice you are able to somewhat escape. However the systemic cause remains because the pain returns whenever you are alone. Often more vehement than ever before. This causes you to pursue passionately that which you are addicted to. Having an addiction of any kind is serious. Many can be life threatening because you are out of control. Your desires consume you and disables your ability to be responsible or demonstrate  contol.  The ability to genuinely  love is questionable. Instead the activity controls you and you will do whatever it takes to get a “quick fix!”

 

The misuse  and dependency  upon opiates has become of great concern worlwide.  Not everyone becomes addicted from  illegal drugs.  Many have become addicted through the use of prescriptions medications. This should not be. This will greatly impact your spouse, children,  home, work  and career.

 

How does this impact my marriage?

Good question. Marriage is a partnership and when one has an addiction they are not able to fully commit because the addiction is often their main priority.  Well, the spouse that is unaware is often kept in the dark. Secrets, lies and deception accompany addiction. The addiction is used to fill the insatiable void in the addicted partner’s heart. It instead becomes their companion. This leaves their spouse out in the cold. Know, addiction relief is possible.

 

Your addiction creates undo tension. You need to learn to communicate openly and honeestly with your spouse.  Afterall you are supposed to be one.  Your addiction is robbinh you of building a beter relationship.

 

Causes or addiction triggers

A disordered family, peer pressure, cultural influences, abuse, incest, rape, molestation, lack of self-esteem and a weakness to experiment can all contribute to one developing an addiction.

 

We live in a drug friendly worldly environment. Daily we are bombarded with the invitation to take this pill or that pill. Notice how many television commercials attempt to sell you something to feel better.  Look how the dinner hour has become the prime time for what I call  commercial pushers. There are a multiplicity of pushers of all sort. Doctors also oblige patients with tranquilizers, stimulants, pain pills, sleeping pills even pills to wake you up!

 

Commitment in marriage is important

Keeping your commitments are important.  Embracing your vows is important.  Did you not commit to Him as well?  One thing that needs to be promoted more is a personal relationship with the Lord! Marriage is ordained by God. Did you know marriage was designed to be the ultimate sacred relationship between a man and a woman.  A strong marraige  can also help you prioritize life and put all your other relationships into their proper perspective.  Your marriage  can help you develop a healthier living environment as you work together

 

Building trust is an important part of marriage. Addiction relief is possible. 

 

As we commit to building healthier home environments we contribute to lessening the number of addictions continuing to escalate.   Not everyone has addiction issues.  In some  addictions have unconsciously been passed down through generations.   A safe home environment does not  always exclude addiction; but it does serve to nurture those who are there.   If this has been the case the possibility to break the generational cycle of dysfunction becomes attainable. You can change this! Yes, addiction relief is possible.

 

Develping a Healthy Support System

It is important to seek ways to validate one another. To develop an ongoing healthy support system that says I love and sincerely care. No this does not mean you support the addiction.   Neither do you allow it to become  the white elephant in the room no one notices.  However, you must confront the addiction.  You  can also find healthy ways to make them feel  uncomfortable. Also learn to separate the behavior from the person.  Encourage them to be the best they can be. Find ways to help them become who they were created to be without the addiction.

 

Working together

God created each of us uniquely and we have varying temperaments. Our needs are different when these needs are not met a void is created and therefore one seeks to often erroneously fill that void. Marriage is about working together to find healthier ways to fill some of those voids with a committed partner… There are some voids that can only be filled by God.

Your partner is not responsible for your addiction you are. Both must hold one another accountable for their actions! You both are accountable to God for the vows you made… Remember, “for better or for worse…”

In this 21st century emotional gasoline has flamed the fires of addiction. Pain, grief and stress not dealt with properly are great contributors that drive unhealthy desires. This does not have to be. God’s Holy Spirit His Comforter is more than able.

Addiction is big business therefore it is often rationalized and one can easily find access and support. Your addiction does not usually happen overnight it is a gradual process that begins with a series of steps…  So remember; theis help.  Addiction relief is possible!

Next we will discuss some of those steps;

Part 2

Trapped In Addiction

When a person has an addiction it can be totally devastating. It not only affects the addict but anyone they come in contact with. It causes fear and insecurity to dominate the lives of their family and often friends as well. It often paralyzes them in a cesspool of co-dependency, inhibiting them from taking a lawful stand.

Intervention when properly initiated can be a catalyst for repentance in the addict. You see we don’t really like to confront problems. We tend to take the ostrich approach, burying our heads in the sand. Guess what? The problem won’t just go away. We often think of love as not making someone feel bad. (Except when it comes to punishing children) But we must be careful not to unconsciously support any wrong behavior. An addict is a devotee to whatever substance they are controlled by. They surrender their will and allow themselves to be habitually, obsessively controlled by the proclivity of their desire. Their addictive need is compulsive and they will do whatever is necessary to fulfill that need.

Buried underneath the layers is really a diamond in the rough! How ironic? God can take their faithfulness to what ever their desire is (alcohol, drugs, food, sex, dirt, etc.) and turn it too good. The process is really miraculous to watch. But it will never happen as long as we keep our head in the sand. God will not force His way. Remember their allegiance is just inappropriately designated. Do you know why it’s easy to abet them in there slow but sure death? They can appear so loving and talk about the life of the party! Who needs a party? They are a party all by themselves. They can be so compliant and giving. But right around the corner lives Mr. or Mrs. Tyrant. . They can embrace the reigns of violent and destructive behavior like sugar to an ant. Talk about a roller coaster! Except this ride is not very amusing. Living on the edge is their theme.

The deepest emptiness and a gulf of shame awaits the departure of each subsequent binge. But don’t be in total despair. There is hope. You see God really does make the difference. Just know you can’t change them. But you can and should abandon providing them a security blanket in any form. Begin to shift your focus to God. He’s the ultimate COMFORTER. He will direct your paths as you truly learn to trust HIM. Begin to develop your role as their faithful prayer intercessor. The chronic abuser allows freedom to his love ones. Freedom to know you can’t depend on them. This freedom can cause you to take on their responsibilities. Oftentimes this can cause one to reach for situations and people they can dominate just as the addict controls their life. To the other extreme, it can also cause them to look to someone who will stroke their insecurities. What a cycle! One can become enmeshed in a sea of burdens. But I’m glad there is a burden bearer. The scripture says: “take my yoke upon you and learn of me for my yoke is easy and my burdens are light”. Easier said than done huh! But it is really possible. Begin to transfer this burden to the Lord. Embrace the scriptures daily to spiritually equip you for warfare. Ephesians is a book that let’s the child of God know that you have been sealed and deliverance is at hand. The mighty weapons of God are not carnal.

You cannot change anything that has happened. Don’t overindulge yourself in a guilt trip. But don’t jump in the quicksand of denial. The noose of addiction can be broken. Jesus did not die in vain. He can resurrect any life. He can peel away the layers of sin by the cleansing power of His BLOOD. It takes only a little light to dispel the darkness. We all have sinned and fallen short of His glory. That’s’ why we need a SAVIOR. TO SAVE US FROM THE POWER OF SIN. Reach out to the Lord. He can and will be there for you TWENTY/ FOUR / SEVEN.

Marriage & Addiction Part I

Addiction is something few want to readily discuss. Addiction inhibits intimacy in the marriage! Transparency is necessary in order to build intimacy. Transparency and intimacy are essential components in building a strong satisfying marriage. Addiction prohibits you from being transparent!

Addiction is a clear indicator that you are hurting! You have simply found an unhealthy way to cope with your pain. Your addiction can be alcohol, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, uppers, downers, caffeine, illicit sex, pornography, food and even shopping! Yes and there are more… Guess what? You have only found a way to momentarily relieve or somewhat ease your infuriating inner pain; it is still there!

I say momentarily because while under the influence or indulging in the activity you are able to somewhat escape. However the cause still remains because the pain returns. Often more vehement than ever causing you to each time pursue passionately that which you are addicted to! Addiction of any kind can be life threatening because you are out of control. Your desires

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