FAITH IS NOW!
January 7, 2020 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health
Faith Is Now!
“Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1. Faith is so important that it is mentioned over three hundred times in the BIBLE. To believe and have a firm persuasion in God is what faith is. Having Faith means much more than just to say you believe. It goes so much deeper! Faith is developed through prayer, devotion, and Bible Study. The actual application of God’s Word to your daily life is necessary.
Faith is also part of the Lord’s spiritual armor. It is “By Faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what is visible.” Hebrews 11:3. Faith is NOW not after the fact has materialized! “For we walk by Faith not by sight.” II Corinthians 5:7
Men and Women of Faith
When you truly trust God your Faith will see you through any and all circumstances or situations. Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Esther and Rahab, are just a few examples of the many that trusted and had Faith in God. Deborah, Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and the prophets beheld many miracles, faced jeers, were stoned, saw walls fall, led many in victories, were persecuted, misunderstood, and mistreated. Yet they all accomplished their life purpose by trusting the Lord.
Take notice how they all sincerely aspired to live in the presence of the Lord. They had a personal and deep intimate personal relationship with Him. Hebrews commends them all for their Faith; “yet none of them received what had been promised.” It is by Faith we are strengthened inwardly! Jesus Christ dwells in our hearts through Faith.
FAITH is NOW!
Hebrew defines Faith as something you cannot see. “Faith without works is dead.” When your Faith is truly in GOD you trust that in His time He will fulfill whatever it is that He has said or promised. Take a moment to take an open and honest personal inventory of everything that is happening in your life. Guess what God already knows as well. Despite your circumstances; good, bad, or indifferent you can rest assured that your Faith makes all the difference in the world as to how you will now proceed.
In order to successfully run the race of life we must keep our focus upon the Lord. Laying aside any weight or sin helps us to run with endurance. When life hurdles appear God will impart to you His patience and direction. You can not change anything that has happened; “it is what it is.” As you fix your eyes on “Jesus, the Author and perfecter of our Faith” He will help you arise to the challenges as well as the celebrations of life.
Learn to Trust God
Your daily trust and reliance upon God is where your true security and significance should reside. This will give you sure footing and strong solid rock foundational spiritual roots to help you withstand the storms of life. Your joy in the Lord is where you will find strength when you keep your eyes on Him. The joy of the Lord is not contingent on your circumstance. FAITH is NOW!
The key to being a Christian is the Faith we have in Jesus Christ. Do you know the importance of His sacrificial death on the cross that atoned for our sins? It was so we could live life to please Him! Did you know our lives, our homes, our marriages, families and our worship should reflect we are His children? How do we do this? Titus tells us that “You must teach what is in accord with sound doctrine. Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self controlled, and sound in Faith, love and in endurance. To teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good…”
God and His Church
Know that GOD does not live in a building made by hands. Although we can come together to worship him and acknowledge Him as GOD. Our GOD lives within the hearts of the believers all throughout the world who are HIS CHURCH. We are the ecclesia; meaning called out ones. The natural man or woman does not accept, value, nor understand the things of God. This is why the Word says to “let this mind be in you that was also in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 2. In order to understand the things of God it is crucial that you lay aside your way and your will and let His Word be a “lamp unto your feet and a Light to your path.” Psalm 119.
Having the proper perspective will teach you how very important it is to live life to its fullest and study His Word for His approval and not the approval of man. This is why we are told to “Trust in the Lord will all of our hearts and lean not to our own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct our path.” Proverbs 3.
All too often God is an after thought or optional choice when dealing with life. This compromise often has favorable results with man; yet results in moving you away from God. Learn to wait on God and patiently seek His way. He can keep us on the Narrow Path that is less traveled.
Being A Christian is a daily Lifestyle
God’s way will give you peace and contentment that surpasses the understanding of man! God wants to be the Primary Force in your life. Being a Christian is really a chosen daily lifestyle. God does not force His way upon you. Nor does He manipulate. Faith produces commitment and faithfulness. You also know the importance of honoring your marriage vows as well. You made those vows not only to your spouse but to God. It means to sincerely and earnestly attempt to live life to please God.
Commence to truly daily live, Pray, Preach, Proclaim, Sing, Worship and Praise Him. It really makes all the difference in the world! “LET the WORD of Christ dwell in You richly as You teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as You sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in Your hearts to God. And whatever You do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving THANKS to God the Father through Him” Colossians 3.
Learn How to Trust God
God always has a better way. According to Ephesians 1 He has already blessed us with every spiritual blessing in heavenly places. As His child we have been sealed and promised the gift of His Holy Spirit. God truly is faithful you can always count on Him! Now you must trust Him and step out on Faith. Remember Faith is not something that you can see. Always remember, you must exercise patience and your Faith and trust must rely within Him.
Hebrews teaches us; “Without Faith it is impossible to please God!” His Word tells us if our Faith is; “as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you” Matthew 17. The key to this is you must desire His will to be done. It is with God we can do the impossible. This way He receives all the credit. Live: “To GOD be the GLORY!” God always keeps His promises. You can fully trust God to work everything out for your good.
God is Omniscient
Always keep in mind that absolutely nothing gets by God. He knows all that is past, current and will be. He is omniscient. Be encouraged knowing “God is not unjust; He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them.” Know not everyone will be receptive to you. God always knows the intents of our hearts. It is by Faith and patience we inherit His promises.
We can patiently endure whatever is necessary because we know that God in His time will work everything out for our good. It is by Faith we accept His precious gift of eternal life. One of the most important elements in life is having Faith in GOD. “Without Faith it is impossible to please Him, for he, who comes to GOD, must believe, that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him.” Hebrews 11.
GOD IS FAITHFUL
In His time you will reap the promises and He will give back, restore, refuel and replenish you in His time. God knows when you are sincere. We are living in interesting times. It is always important to remember we are living in a Spiritual Warzone. But the battle is not ours. Just keep your eyes fixed on the Author and finisher of your Faith. God is able to “keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with great Joy!” Jude. You can say Hallelujah anyhow!
GOD IS AWESOME; HE IS ABSOLUTELY; “AWEWONDERFUL!”
As I mentioned before Hebrews records in its “Hall of Faith” many Old Testament heroes who trusted in God and displayed their Faith in unique ways. We today, should also desire to be honorary members of; “God’s Hall of Faith!” Lay aside every weight and anything that hinders you from going forth in the Lord. Many seek the approval and acceptance of others. Know that the Narrow Path is the road less traveled.
Put your trust in GOD!
God never said it would always be easy. But He did say: “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things you have; for He hath said; I will never leave nor forsake thee. So, that we may boldly say; THE LORD IS MY HELPER, AND I WILL NOT FEAR WHAT MAN/WOAMN SHALL DO UNTO ME.” Hebrews 13
As long as we are on this side of Heaven there is more to learn. God continually perfects us. (which means GOD makes us complete in HIM) God’s approval is what matters most. He knows when we are faithful to Him. When we keep our vows He knows. Whatever we need and when, He also knows. God is faithful. When you truly believe; it will be a priority to daily live your life to please GOD! Faith results in faithfulness. Who or what are you faithful to? “Now Faith is the substance of being sure of what we HOPE for and certain of what we do not see. By Faith the Elders obtained a good report!”
FAITH IS NOW!
True Beauty Comes From Within Part 2
March 26, 2019 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health

Life itself takes on a form of beauty when you access your heart’s wellspring. You slowly begin to blossom like a rose. Your true beauty is unlocked from within. When you have learned to “Hide the WORD of GOD within your heart” it will automatically spring forth. You will perceive things differently as you embrace the Truth of God’s Word. As you grow spiritually your soul is revived as well.
You now desire to live to daily embrace the truth of God’s Word! You do not just go along with the majority in order to be accepted. You realize the value in self-discipline. You are confident in who you are, realizing that with God ” we are forever becoming…” There is always room for improvement in all of us. You really can be content in the Lord. Your desire now, is also to live each day to please the Lord. Your increasing spiritual growth comes from consistently spending time with God. Knowing His Word and then actually applying it to your own life daily has marvelous benefits.
You realize that your soul is the essence of who you really are. It is the
part of you that will live with the Lord forever; if you are a believer. God can and will give you a strong sound mind. You never have to be harsh, loud and obnoxious. But you can be strong! “When you take care of a rose properly it will bloom longer…” Just know you will quite often be misunderstood and at times persecuted. Therefore, you make it a goal to “Walk in the Light.” For you know the Lord is with you wherever you go. God can keep you on the Narrow Path. This is central at the heart of your desires. Yes, it is here where TRUE BEAUTY lies as you remain focused and connected to the Lord!
Beauty of Prayer
Prayer is a genuine vitally important part of our life. Here we intersect and bond with God. Our body as His Temple becomes fortified. It is a place of safety being in an intimate up close conversation with God the Father our Creator. You can pray out loud. You can pray without even uttering a word. Or you can simply sit, stand, kneel, lay down prone flat with outstretched arms, or even walk about while praying.
Learn to daily practice “Praying without Ceasing” which is being in a spiritual God Centered mindset. This does not mean you are not at all oblivious to what is happening around you. It means you can pray all throughout your day as you are working and or going about your daily tasks. God is more concerned with the posture of our hearts than where we are physically whenever we pray. Make an altar upon your heart. Truly the Lord is absolutely aware of everything that is going on in, around and about us. The Lord has an amazing way of alerting us when something is not right. Prayer sharpens our discernment.
God knows who we are and who belongs to Him. He always leaves a remnant of His people who live for Him. When you are truly His you can expect much spiritual warfare on this side of heaven from just about everywhere. Yet, we don’t fight like the world does… Because “our weapons are not carnal…”
Do not compromise your principles and standards to get back at others. Give them to the Lord. This is why it is so important to get to know Christ Jesus as your personal SAVIOR! He has given us His Holy Spirit to help us 24/7. But is your choice to call upon Him.
There is an inner peace that comes from knowing who you are in Christ Jesus. Yes, you are His Child, but you are not to be childish. Nor do you have to tolerate foolishness from anyone regardless of their title or position in life. You should always seek to respond responsibly. This is actually how you become empowered! You continually seek ways to grow without conforming to the standards of this world. Yet you strive to have an interesting, fulfilling, balanced, realistic spiritual God Centered life.
The importance of having Jesus in your daily life!
Know this about Jesus. “He was born of the Virgin Mary He lived a sinless, life and was crucified, died and was buried, but he AROSE with ALL POWER!” Yes, He is alive and so is HIS WORD! It is our SPIRITUAL SWORD; and it is sharper than any two edge sword. ( not like two edged swords are used by man) GOD’S SWORD is sharper and much more powerful! When you use it properly it cuts both ways. It always pertains to the yielded vessel as well as to the recipient. So don’t just say anything in the Name of the Lord. It is important to learn how to use His Word wisely!
Whenever a trial comes our way we must learn to stand on the Word of God. Our Lord is a strong tower and an AWESOME solid rock foundation!
God Will Fight Your Battles
Whenever necessary “GOD WILL FIGHT YOUR BATTLES.” Remember; “His weapons are not carnal.” You must practice praying wherever you may be. This keeps you prepared for the unexpected. Staying connected to God has its benefits. As a believer you are to daily adorn yourself within the spiritual armor of the Lord. We on the other hand also must KNOW HIM and the POWER of CHRIST JESUS through HIS WORD! For they are one and the same. We never become the power we just merely gain access as we walk in obedience.
During a battle you want to make sure your inner beauty is not suppressed. By keeping your faith and trust in the Lord it is still possible for it to shine through… This is why we meditate, pray and ask to be filled daily. As learned disciples of Christ we are to become increasingly disciplined. God has given us the precious gift of His Holy Spirit as our Comforter. He keeps us and comforts us. His Holy Spirit also is what helps us to discern what is of Him. God is true to His Word. Remember, He is also the God of comfort. We can always and forever trust Him to be God He has promised to “never leave nor forsake us!”
Why Most Marriages Don’t Last! Part 4
July 25, 2017 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health
God created marriage to last for a lifetime. It was designed to be the ultimate relationship for oneness between a man and a woman. Here you both can physically and spiritually become one. Strive to enhance and improve every aspect of your lives together. It is important to create a nurturing living environment. Take care to affectionately tend your marriage consistently. Keep your marriage as you would a lovely well-kept garden. Always make your marriage a top priority.
Take care of your marriage
Take a look around your home it is a reflection of how you feel. Now take a look at your bedroom. What does it say to you? For example; If you leave your clothes lying all over the place and hang them up whenever you want to guess what? You tend to be selfish and insensitive and don’t really care about your shared environment. You are also being inconsiderate to your spouse when this becomes a habit. Guess what? If you had guests would you treat them differently. Start being more attentive, considerate, respectful and thoughtful towards one another.
Preventative maintenance is the key to keeping order. For example. I like everything in its place. it saves times and you know where to find things. I also like organization. This works for us because we both like things organized.
You may like just letting things be. Then on the weekend or once a month you scramble to get everything in order. Or you just push everything aside and deal with it whenever you feel like it. Or do you leave it all to your spouse to do whenever. This makes for a real comfortable no hassle environment for you & yours. No big deal I will get to it when I get to it. The point is what works for your household is what is best.
As your family grows you will have to make adjustments. Once or if you have children you want to model good behavior. Color coordinating things really helps. When you have a lot of children it makes things easier. Structure helps children to feel secure. So I say; “when you play put away.” You do have to learn to be flexible and reasonable. You can also solicit a house keeper. Being to rigid is not good. It is your home and your environment so do whatever works for you and yours.
What is most important that you seek to create a balance. Your living environment should be a place you all feel comfortable.
Each marriage is different and each marriage is what you both make it. If you want to make it better and if you want to improve start improving yourself. Stop neglecting yourself and only fixing yourself up for everyone else or when you go to work, go out or attend worship. Men are visual and so are women. Change for the better not the worst! Make a covenant with your eyes and always remain faithful to your spouse. Keep healthy boundaries and stay committed to honor your marriage. Do you take care of yourself like you did when you were dating? We are older now; NO! Still no excuse. Age like a fine antique. Or do you just throw yourself together now because after all you are married to him or her so what? You should take care of your self to the degree you did when you came together or better. Strive to become the “BEST YOU” at any age.
Marriage can be a wonderful experience of growing with the one you love it truly can last for a lifetime. Keep an exciting synergy between you. Being happy is a choice! When you truly invest yourself in your marriage it will always remain a priority. You can always look forward to going home.
Keeping GOD as the CENTER of your marriage is important. PRAY, read and study the WORD together. This will really enhance your marriage and your life. After all you did make a vow to HIM as well. Life is precious. Make it a point to get better not bitter. You truly can continually refine your relationship. You really can have a beautiful realistic marriage. You, your spouse, your children and everyone else benefits. You actually give others HOPE!
True Love lasts through forever
Make it a point to keep your marriage and your spouse happiness a priority. You can still enjoy the company of friends and loved ones. But don’t let everyone else but your spouse know what is going on with you and how you are feeling about you or them! Share with one another intimately. Have some fun activities together. Allow one another their space and freedom to breath. Don’t suffocate one another. When you don’t you will actually enjoy one another whenever you are together. Plan to have a marriage date weekly. Keep your marriage exciting. Again, I cannot say this enough; Keep one another and your marriage a priority.
Continually Invite love into your marriage and actually love on one another.
True Love lasts through forever. Be kindly affectionate towards one another. Unexpected hugs go a long way. Every touch does not have to lead to intercourse. Kiss one another whenever you are parting. Encourage one another. Take time to let one another in on what is going on in your life. How you feel, how you hurt and how you together want to keep love alive. Major in the Victories of life and minor in the disappointments. Life is Precious! CELEBRATE your marriage often. Be friends, lovers and partners. You both should desire what is best for one another. In a good healthy marriage you want one another to be the “Best You” you can be with one another by your side. You increasingly become One! This is true when GOD IS in the center of your marriage. You want and desire your marriage to last “until death do part.” Your vows remain important.
Happiness is a conscious choice. Commitment & fidelity is a choice. You can’t make them happy. However, you surely can greatly contribute to them becoming happier. Creating an intimate, loving, caring, warm, transparent, stable, secure and mutually inviting environment together helps tremendously. Here both of you can continue to grow and flourish together and make a beautiful fragrant bouquet that says “I LOVE YOU!” Now and through FOREVER!
ENJOY one another and KEEP Your “I DO” real! True LOVE lasts through ETERNITY!
Book Release: “A HOUSE of PRAYER (Not a Hospital)”
June 2, 2017 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Religion & Spirituality
In this 21st century it is believed by many that the Church is a hospital. It is often said that it is a place for the sick. Does this mean that no one ever gets well?
The Lord did not come to build hospitals. He came to restore us back to the Father and for us to have an abundant life in every way. The House of the Lord is a House of Prayer.
What is your place of worship? Is it a place of worship or a place of hospitality? What is its main objective? Is it a social place where many simply seek to find refuge with those they have much in common? Is it a place where you can come to take part in the activities and have a good time? A place to simply feel comfortable and accepted? A place where you can feel good, but not necessarily become transformed by the renewing of your mind by the Word of God!
THINK and ponder for a moment. Is your place of worship simply a hospital for sinners or a museum for saints? Is it here you can simply remain sick sinners for a lifetime?
The next time you are in an actual hospital look around and see all the hurting people. Take notice and see how crowded it is in the emergency room. How long the lines are, waiting for prescriptions to be filled. How long do you have to wait. Notice the many specialists, doctors, nurses and technicians scurrying about. Yes, it is serious business, how sad so many are ailing. They are all there for a multiplicity of reasons.
All things considered, is this really how you think “A House of Prayer” should really be?
All of these questions and more are addressed in my new book. Pick up a copy and go with me to my Father’s House, “A HOUSE of PRAYER (Not a Hospital).”
Learning The Art of “Being Still” Part 3
November 18, 2016 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health
God wants us to learn the art of “Being Still”God is absolutely awesome! He wants all of us to receive the precious gift of His Holy Spirit, who is His Comforter. Once we accept Jesus Christ into our hearts, His Holy Spirit internally resides within us. His now abiding Holy Spirit becomes our Spiritual Teacher. God is a Spirit of Truth. It is our daily choice to observe, learn, listen and take heed.
Know the benefits of the Blood of Jesus
“How much more, then, will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offer Himself unblemished to GOD, cleanse our consciences from acts that lead to death, so that we may serve the LIVING GOD! For this reason Christ is the mediator of a New Covenant, that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance-now that He has died as a ransom to set them free from…” HEBREWS 9
There is so much more I cannot tell it all. So You must begin to diligently seek the Lord for yourself. Spend time daily in His Word. Taste and see in His Word for yourself that the Lord is GOOD! Did you know there truly is cleansing power in “The Blood?” Take some time and learn to “BE STILL”.
Life is quite interesting. It really can make one ask at times, “How did we get here?” To know one must believe His Word. You see it is not, nor has it ever been popular to really “Believe” in God. The idea is still quite abstract to many. There are consequences for living as a true believer. Your spiritual eyes must be open to discern the spiritual warfare that is about you. His disciples were, misunderstood, rejected, abandoned, and treated horrendously on many occasions. We as believers are really supposed to be faithful modern-day disciples.
The masses have always ignored what God has to say, from Genesis to Revelation. The scriptures record over and over that “man did what was right in his own eyes.” Or simply went along with whatever was trendy or popular. When you decide to “stand up” for what is right many will sit on the fence…….. It was one of Jesus disciples that betrayed Him. Have you ever thought about where were all those people Jesus helped, and healed when they crucified Him? Look all around, we are in a crisis. Look at the scandalous political race for the President of the United States. The news, the economy, immorality, the world at large in which we live has reached catastrophic proportions on many levels. Crisis always brings about a change. “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof the world and them that dwell therein…” Yet in the midst of it all God has a way of getting our attention and showing us ALL He can use who and whomever He pleases to bring about “CHANGE!”
Throughout His Word you will find spiritual warfare involving, nations, countries, families, relationships, personality conflicts, false teachers, misunderstandings, manipulation, sexual sins, slander, you name it and it’s there. If you are looking for a case history to profile or evaluate it’s there. God did a marvelous thing when He allowed man to record His Story. His splendid, spectacular, awe-inspiring Word is the Greatest Story ever recorded. God’s Word is priceless! He has also given us the Promise that “He would never leave nor forsake us.” We can always & forever TRUST GOD!!!
“…Thine is the KINGDOM & The GLORY!” For LORD YOU are “GLORIOUS! For YOUR KINGDOM will reign FOREVER!
In life, God genuinely makes all the difference in the world! Getting to know God helps you to incredibly cope with what has gone on, is going on and is to come. It is in HIM that one can rest and find comfort and “BE STILL” even within the most difficult situations. But I must warn you it is not always an easy thing to do. Stay alert! God is near.
Wherever you are or whatever your situation good or bad know it can change at anytime. We are living in some very interesting times. Year in and year out, know that “Jesus is the reason for the season” whether you are a believer or not! Know that wherever you are Jesus knows. You can call on Him 24/7 anytime, anywhere and in every situation.
When you accept Him as your Savior, Lord and Shepherd, He will and can take you through this valley of the shadow of death. Whenever necessary He will lead you to the still peaceful waters. This is a special place of contentment in His presence. God wants to lead us on the righteous path that leads to eternal life with Him. He gives us the freedom to choose. The peace of God does surpass the understanding of man. Know some things will not be understood on this side of Heaven. But always keep in mind absolutely nothing that comes your way gets by Him. “It is in Him we move and live and have our being.” God is always speaking we just have to get better at listening. This is why discipline becomes so very important.
Be encouraged! We can “do all things through Christ that strengthens me.” But first we must trust Him and surrender our will to Him. Oh taste and see that the Lord is good. Today begin your life to live each day to please the Lord. His TRUTH is everlasting throughout all generations and yes; “BE STILL” and know that He is the Great “I AM” who always was, has been and always will be. He is worthy of all the praise. Everyday; “To GOD be the Glory!”
Welcome Love in Marriage Part 2
March 11, 2016 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Archives
Welcome Love!
Part 2
Love is an important element of a great marriage. Marriage is the ultimate covenant relationship for a couple to learn how to grow together! It is a sacred union between a husband and wife! You both come together to build a lasting committed bond! When you both are dedicated to the Lord know that there will be a continuing barrage of spiritual warfare launched against your marriage! It often comes from the least expected places… It wants to undermine your credibility, destroy trust, infringe on your union and is designed to get you to respond in a carnal mode that will only divide you.
Disagreeing is a part of any strong marriage! You both are different and do not always see eye to eye. Why is it when you disagree you somehow forget what your spouse means to you! Or somehow you manage to push it in the background! Instead you often pull out the emotional boxing gloves and erect a mental boxing ring and come out punching! Often piercing the heart with deadly emotional punches that crush the soul! Or either you flip the script and make it about you! Bear in mind that there is always exceptions! This is not to point the finger but to put a halt to the staggering overabundance of marriages ending in divorce! To instead encourage you to “welcome love!”
There are those who use the word “Love!” so very loosely! They see love as something that makes them feel good! They feel you love them because you tell them what they want to hear and give them what they want when they want it… This is really not love at all! What you are really dealing with is the neglected “child” in them that has not grown up and always wants its way! They often hold on to “Me ness” instead of embracing “We ness” It becomes clear when you do not agree or tell them “No!”
Please don’t feed this monstrous bad habit! I say habit because it is a pattern that can be changed…! “Practice makes permanent! If not it will eventually manipulate you and everyone around them to appease their seemingly endless need to be cared for! Unresolved emotional issues have all too often become the scapegoat to fuel and appease their desires! On the surface it merely and at times cleverly mimics love in order to have its way! What often happens with someone of this nature; instead of growing beyond their childhood trauma it becomes a blanket excuse for any inappropriate behavior that may be confronted! It will drain you, your emotions, your resources as well as your finances! It is important to have compassion… To avidly seek to understand the deeper need! However, good boundaries are necessary and you must learn how to “guard your heart!”
Love is talked about but impatience, anger, insecurity, irresponsibility and immediate self-gratification are usually the behavior most often displayed… This does not have to be.
They simply justify having whatever it is they want! When you do not comply they feel rejected! They themselves are emotionally starved because they have never really truly experienced true love! They really do not know what love is really all about! Many in our society today confuse love with “lust” or what I call “intoxicating affections” that last for only a season! This is also the reason for a lot of divorces! It is important to begin to address any unresolved issues… In a warm loving, caring environment trust and security can flourish! One can grow beyond their issues!
True love is not selfish! It fills the void properly when sincerely embraced! Love is a part of the Fruit of the Spirit! “God is love!” He is eternal and so is His love! Enlist the principles of true love described in I Corinthians 13! They work! Use this as an effective barometer to measure love over lust, and or intoxicating affections! “Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in Truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails…”
If many truly learn how to love each other there would be a lot less marriages dissolving. Less families being divided and fewer divorces! We would instead see a lot more long term marriages continue to flourish! God never intended for your marriage to grow stale!
Begin to embrace redemptive confrontation and meet head-on in love! Just because it is your spouse you do not have to become “raw…” After so many unkind insults are continually inflicted upon one another it leaves debilitating emotional scars. This means together making a conscientious effort learning to face and embrace constructively resolving any conflict! Learn not to or stop taking one another for granted! This can deplete your marriage of comfort and security! Respect should be intricately woven into your marriage! Your feelings matter…Together you learn to deal with difficult situations as they arise! It is not wise to avoid confrontation, because this can build resentment… Addressing the issues at hand is important as well as healthy! If left undone, quite often the next step is; I’m out of here! On to the next person!
Why most marriages don’t last! Part 3
February 11, 2016 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
Why most marriages don’t last?
Part 3
You can build a strong loving marriage. Working together is key to your happiness. You both have the power to make a fulfilling union. Compassion will help you mutually bond immensely. For your marriage to last it must remain a top priority to both of you.
You are considering getting married? Wow how exciting! You want to make sure you start by building a strong solid foundation. Love, trust, respect and loyalty are a must. They will solidify your union. Your marriage will be what you both make it. It is important to know; many marriages in this 21st century don’t last.
A few things to think about.
Please don’t go into the marriage thinking that you will be able to change each other. There are many resources available when planning your big day. But few think about resources to maintain and build your marriage. For those of you who have never been married before, you must allow for a period of adjustment once married. Living with someone is not the same as dating or being married. The difference is you have not really made a total commitment to one another. You both realize that you can simply opt out at any time…
Commit to always treat one another with respect. After the honeymoon period is over remain patient. Whenever you hit a kink see this as an opportunity to take your marriage to a deeper level. Don’t allow issues that crop up to fester and become sour. Think before you fly of the handle and say something you will regret. It is during this time you need to work together rather than pull farther apart. Don’t take one another for granted. Make it a point to keep you marriage exciting.
A great marriage takes two committed spouses
If you have not married; please do not manipulate your potential spouse into a relationship. If you do it will be an ongoing dynamic in your relationship. You should genuinely care for this person and desire to grow together. You want to encourage transparency in order to build a strong secure marriage. Before marrying really have some candid and open discussion as to how you would like things to be in order to see if you are on the same page! Don’t just assume?
It is a good to take time and find out more about what each other likes and dislikes. Are you a morning person? Do you sleep with socks on? Do you snore? Are you patient? Do you yell scream and cuss to get your way? Do you rant and rave or manipulate? Or do you sulk and stay quiet, remote cold and unexpressive? Do you think that you should have everything that you want when you want it? Do you want your spouse to do everything for you and be waited on hand and foot and you do very little in return yourself? Or do you like to talk things through… Are you patient kind and loving. If you are you will be able to keep a balance. Or do you quit when the going gets tough?
It is the seemingly little things that add up and lead to arguments. It is easier for some to say how they feel when they are angry. Learn to be open and honestly discuss how you are feeling. Don’t make sorry a sorry word. Chill out and warm up to one another. It really is better to say “I am hurting.” Don’t let pride and insecurity dominate your marriage. How else will you settle your disputes if you do not take the time to responsibly communicate with each other? Wait until you have cooled off or can talk without being hostile. Please do not think that by not talking about issues they will go away; they won’t!
A great marriage will last for a lifetime
Now that we have discussed some of the not so good things we can move towards what it takes to build a better marriage. You sit down at work and discuss whatever the problem is, right! Why? Because work is a priority and you do not just opt out of your job when things are not going your way. Or if you attend worship you volunteer to do whatever. But when you are at home you are cantankerous? If so this is not good. It is important that you like and respect one another in marriage even more so. Why? Because you say you love this person!
You love them enough to get to know them better. You like them enough to care about their well-being. You care enough to develop loyalty in your marriage. Make sure to have a weekly marriage date. This does not mean you have to always go somewhere. It could just be a quiet relaxed evening committed to spending quality time together. Spend time in the Word together it is a wonderful time to bond. Remember keep your marriage exciting. Life is precious and each day is a gift from the Lord. It is important not to lose sight of this or you will just take one another for granted and improving the marriage will no longer be a one of your top priorities.
Make your marriage a priority
Life is about priorities. Take time out to tend to the people and things that are important to you. This is called being responsible. Marriage is the ultimate relationship between a man and a woman. If your marriage is going to last you have to make a conscious effort to work at it. Keep the embers of love burning to keep it exciting. Do interesting and adventurous things together!
You want to build a mutually satisfying sexual relationship between you as well. Coming together physically as one should be a special time. This is a time of sharing and caring. A time to experience a time of euphoria together. Marriage is when two can be totally physically one with God’s Blessings. Pray and ask the Lord to help you make this a special time of nurturing, care, love and fulfillment together. It is also a time to be “fruitful and multiply” which is another Blessing from the Lord. You can experience unity when you freely give of yourselves to one another. Create a loving environment. You keep the embers burning by being affectionate and caring towards one another.
Each couple is different so together build what works for you. It is okay to have your physical needs met so there’s no reason to be ashamed. When you have not had sexual relations before, it takes a while to feel relaxed, and become free. It can be quite odd not really knowing what to expect or how to respond. This is natural so be patient with one another. You will have to release some of the things you have heard or thought. Share how you are feeling with you spouse. It will eventually work out. Take time to focus on fulfilling one another’s physical needs. Each couple is different. How often or few or when is between the two of you. The marriage bed is honorable in the eyes of the Lord.
How Important Is Discipline In Your Daily Life ?
December 13, 2011 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Archives
Webster defines discipline as a training that corrects. It molds and perfects the mental faculties and moral character. A control gained by enforcing obedience or order. Orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior. To discipline means to train or develop by instruction and exercise; especially in the area of self control.The development of discipline is essential to our overall personal growth and spiritual maturity. One of the fruits of the spirit is self control.
Due to Adam’s sin mankind has inherited a sin-based nature. The appetite to fulfill the desires of the eyes and the lusts of the flesh is quite often first and foremost. The appetite of each individual varies. Your desire could be overeating or under-eating, alcohol, drugs, immoral sexual behavior, lying, envy, idolatry, covetousness, etc. In order to overcome this proclivity towards sin one must continually learn to surrender their yearnings toward self-gratification.
How can we accomplish this? To the believer deliverance from an undisciplined lifestyle is quite attainable. Paul tells us: “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” Philippians 4:19. The key factor in that verse is the strength has to come from the LORD.
God is quite aware of our shortcomings. Our shortcomings are what alerts us to the fact we need something other than ourselves to overcome our human frailties. God has created us for the purpose of fellowship. We must continuously develop a life in accordance with the instructions He has left in His WORD. The first step to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour. “Jesus saith unto him, I am the way the truth and the life: NO man cometh unto the FATHER but by me.” John 14:6. There is no other way to GOD.
Our perspective on life greatly affects how we deal with certain situations. Envision with me if you please a house. Everyday you would pass by this house. After a while you become very familiar with it’s exterior. You then begin to even make assumptions about the house. You eventually come to admire it for it’s surface beauty, but only from an exterior point of view. You’ve seen the front door day after day but you have never stopped and taken the time to knock at the door. You are aware of where the house is; you even think you have a general idea of what it’s like inside. But do you really?
Quite often we develop the same type of relationship with God. We know where His instructions for daily life are found. We have access to the Bible. But how often do we really devote time to actually seek His spiritual direction for our day to day living? We must go beyond the exterior and delve into the WORD and embrace His principles and apply them to our lives consistently. When we embrace His principles we embark upon a life of freedom. This freedom will free you from the appetites of the flesh and the clutches of the world. When you develop an intimate relationship with Him He begins to fill that deep endless void THAT ONLY HE CAN FILL.The Christian life is not an unattainable idealistic lifestyle. When we begin to walk in the Spirit we can overcome the weaknesses of the flesh.
Christians are to live lives that are dependent on God. It is through this spiritual dependency the strongholds that satan has on your life will begin to dissipate. This spiritual walk includes a life of discipline. Remember it is through discipline we are able to harness and control the lusts of the flesh I mentioned earlier. Christ lived, suffered, died and arose from the dead for a reason. He sacrificed His life to redeem us from the curse and endowment of Adam’s sin. It is by the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives we can overcome and partake in the victorious life he has prepared for those that truly love Him. “Greater is He that is in you then he that is in the world.” The scripture is not just for memorization to impress others. It is an edible delicacy that will nourish your spirituality and quench your unquenchable thirst as you truly embrace and live out it’s intended principles.
We must seek and learn to discipline our life to His standards. We must begin to relinquish the desire for man’s approval and conditional acceptance. We can never please man. I must warn you! The closer you draw to GOD the less man will understand you. You will be persecuted and greatly misunderstood. Guess what ? So was Jesus! He was maligned and accused of many things by those who should have known better. It was those who were thought to be spiritual that treated Him exceedingly wrong.
Man looks from the outside in; this is the opposite of God’s perspective. He looks from the inside out. He knows all about you. Your innermost thoughts and desires are fully known by Him. The key to a peaceful and contented life filled with true JOY is available. “God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness (appetites of the flesh) we lie, and do not tell the truth. But if we walk in the light, as He is light, we have fellowship one with another, and the BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST HIS SON CLEANSETH US FROM ALL SIN.” How important is discipline? It is very important!