Why most marriages don’t last! Part 2

Why Most Marriages Don’t Last!

Part 2

There has been a shift in the atmosphere!

Many marriages in this 21st century are in crisis. On the News, on the internet and all across the United States of America you see couples in distress. Marriages within the church, in your neighborhood and those on your jobs are also struggling. You can find many unique interesting stories about couples that can’t seem to work through their issues. What you read, see and hear are indicative of what is happening everywhere all over the globe!

This does not have to be.

A great marriage really is definitely possible. Marriage requires love, commitment, patience and lots of teamwork! Counseling is an alternative that helps and it can enhance your marriage. But your goal must be to work through the kinks in the marriage rather than let them persist. If you wait until your problems are seemingly insurmountable it will take some time to plow through your relationship dynamics. It is also and indication that you two have gotten slack. You have allowed your marriage to become secondary.

Yes, many couples all over the world are going through. But don’t be discouraged. Help is on the way! This does not have to be. You both need to get busy shifting your priorities. Time to look at some viable options.

Hmm perhaps counseling?

There are times when counseling is sought just as a last resort. You simply attempt to appease one another and are trying to buy some time… When this is the case; by the time the couple goes to counseling the problem is so bad that they just want to find out which spouse is responsible for their marriage problems? They are often just seeking support and approval to justify why they act or behave in the manner in which they do? The fact of the matter is your communication skills are lacking to the point you have lost some of your objectivity.

You now need or desire a neutral third-party to help you see if you can revive the marriage and get it back on track?

How can we get back on track?

The Truth of the matter is each spouse is not always equally responsible for each problem. Quite often a lot of old baggage has not been addressed and it becomes a recurring theme. Instead of getting discouraged get actively busy resolving your issues and the issues at hand. This is really a great time to further develop your communication skills.

Let’s see what God has to say!

You can and should also incorporate the Bible as wise counsel in your marriage. Not in a rigid legalistic manner but in a way to enhance your marriage. It is important that you marry someone who values the same life principles! However if this is not the case you can still consult the Lord’s Word. There is some superb, really great “stuff” in the Bible that many are not aware of. I mean this in a complimentary way. Try doing a word search on Marriage and see where it takes you. There are some great love stories as well as excellent examples of tests and trials. The Lord never intended for any of us to be unhappy and disappointed all the time… I suggest that you also go to Galatians 5 and learn the differences between the works of the flesh and the Fruit of His Spirit!

Remember those vows you made to God and your spouse! Well the Bible has a wealth of wisdom to help you in any and every situation. The Bible is like no other book. It is alive! Pray for direction from the Lord. Ask Him to speak to your heart.

Please, don’t just read the Bible you must actually implement the principles into your own personal life and marriage. It is not wise to use the Word to manipulate or hurl insults upon your spouse. After all the Lord KNOWS what He is talking about.

If you have a friend that is having marital conflict encourage them to seek helpful ways to resolve it. It is important to respect your marriage as well as the marriage of others. When asked for advice make it a point to be objective. Don’t experiment on their marriage and suggest things that are harmful rather than constructive. If you don’t know, tell them you don’t know. Help them look at the situation from all angles. Sometimes a listening ear is all that is necessary to sort through the problem. Never support abuse on any level in or from anyone… Learn to be a better friend by encouraging them to do what is right.

What is so interesting is that as adults you can do as you please. That is, unless you simply have no self-control yourself and are rather compulsive. In that case you just cannot restrain or discipline yourself and you freak out at the slightest little thing. The problem won’t just go away on its own… If this is the case you really need to put yourself in check and seek out getting some professional help! By the way prayer really does work!

Please if you know that your spouse has a short fuse don’t try to purposefully set them off. This does not mean that you are to be a doormat. Choose your battles wisely don’t encourage abuse or dysfunction in yourself or anyone else. Don’t be or become an enabler.

So why can’t you make a decision to work out your problems? It’s because you have opted to go the way of the majority or just “do your own thing!” You can simply do what makes you feel good instead at the expense of your spouse? Live together and really be miles apart. But is it really good for you or your marriage? No! That’s called being selfish! At this point, the marriage has become more about “you” rather than about “us!” It’s my house, my car, my money, my furniture my name, my way or the highway, my… Somebody has a bad case of “Me”ness! No wonder you are in such a quandary.

You have now or will be joining the not happily ever after club soon! That is unless you decide to make your marriage a priority. So get busy doing something different; like making some improvements. Take a good look at what is going on or not going on. Reposition yourself and change the direction and get back on track. Sincerely work at reconciling your difference.

The first step for getting your marriage back on track is taking responsibility for your own actions. Stop behaving as though you are in the relationship by yourself. It is called being considerate. Your spouse is neither your servant nor parent! They are supposed to be your partner… Start treating your spouse the way you would like to be treated for starters. Life is precious. So humble yourself and let pride take a backseat. Take the wheel and take your marriage to a higher level.

Celebrate your marriage! Encourage one another and if necessary encourage yourself like King David. Don’t let anyone steal your JOY! If you have get busy getting it back!

See PART 3