Holy Matrimony – Chapter 10 – Till Death Do Us Part

February 1, 2012 by  
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Marriage is the first institution that God designed! Making a sincere commitment to your marriage is one of the most important decisions you can make in life. When God made Adam He made him both male and female. He took Eve out of Adam to be by his side. God is so wonderfully awesome! It was His intention to provide Adam with a compatible helpmeet to satisfy together their desires for companionship. Marriage is the ultimate partnership where two together can spiritually, physically and emotionally have there needs mutually met.

Marriage is a unique covenant agreement. Marriage is ordained by God. God intends for your marriage to last for a lifetime.

Purchase a copy of “Holy Matrimony: Now That We’re Married” to read more!!

HOLY MATRIMONY

Holy Matrimony – Chapter 7 – The Down Side Of Life And Marriage

January 31, 2012 by  
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God can direct you in your marital relationship. The adversity He allows is to help us build integrity. From this day forward make a sincere attempt to improve your relationship with your spouse. Take a moment and see where you are. Is your relationship headed in the right direction? Ask your self do you really want your relationship to improve?

HOLY MATRIMONY

Holy Matrimony – Chapter 6 – When You Have Been Married Before

January 31, 2012 by  
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God really intended for marriage to last for a lifetime. The scriptures clearly tells us “what God has joined together let not man put asunder”! Asunder; means to not let anything pull you apart or separate you. Why do we so very often fail to seek God’s advice when seeking a mate? We instead allow our feelings and emotions to often guide us in a direction that leads to a futile destiny. In our haste for companionship we can often make commitments that really should not be. Many often marry on the rebound. Loneliness and/or rejection can compel one to enter into a relationship too soon! Hurt and pain can hurl you into a relationship to escape rejection and loneliness. Swept away and blinded by an over whelming sometimes even sensual infatuation we fall heart first into marriage. Many will fall prey to what I choose to call temporary or “intoxicating affections”. Its symptoms merely mimic true love! All too often once the blinders come off you find yourself saying “what have I done?”

Purchase your copy of “Holy Matrimony:Now That We’re Married” to read more….

Holy Matrimony – Chapter 5 – What About Sex and Intimacy ?

January 31, 2012 by  
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Intimacy is an important ingredient in a strong fulfilling marriage. Intimacy involves transparency. There is no true intimacy without being truthful with one another. It involves growing to the point you can allow your intimate personal defenses to rest. You are able to allow your spouse to inhabit the depth of your being. Together you intimately caress the intangible you. You together grow to the point you are freely able to become vulnerable. The walls come down. A pathway to the heart is established.

Marriage should consist of an ever increasing, warm endearing closeness. After all your spouse should be closer to you than anyone else. Remember the two shall be one flesh.

Don’t confuse intimacy with sex. Many people have sexual relationships and never experience intimacy. Life’s lessons can be…..

Purchase your copy of “Holy Matrimony:Now That We’re Married” to read more….

NEXT: Chapter 6 – When You Have Been Married Before

Holy Matrimony – Chapter 4 – That’s Your Responsibility

January 31, 2012 by  
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Marriage is a partnership. It is meant to be a relationship where two imperfect individuals come together that share a common bond of love. This bond is ideally meant to last “to death us do part”, for a lifetime. Many people never anticipate what it’s really like to live with someone.

Marriage is more than spending a few days together or a week or two. It should last a lifetime. Often initially the infatuation is so strong the two of you almost feel invincible. Often the couple is oblivious to the reality of it all. Thinking that their feelings will make up for their differences. Yes, differences you will have, but that’s normal. It is how you decide to resolve those differences that are important. When reality sets in they realize “I didn’t think about this or that”. Who does what? When and how often?

You wake up one morning and wonder……..

Purchase your copy of “Holy Matrimony:Now That We’re Married” to read more…..

NEXT: Chapter 5 – What About Sex And Intimacy

Holy Matrimony – Chapter 3 – Why Don’t You Listen ?

January 31, 2012 by  
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Did you know listening is an art? We must learn to value what each other has to say. When your partner is talking don’t mentally construct your response or rebuttal. Consciously attempt to clear your mind. Sincerely, actively and tentatively listen to what your partner is saying. Let it be your goal to attentively comprehend what they are trying to relate to you. Make it a goal to be intimately interested in what your spouse says to you.

Few people really listen to one another. Why? Because we are often so busy trying to relay our own inner self. Instead of actually listening we are often mentally constructing what we want to relay. Learn to really value what the other is trying to transmit. Even when we think we know what they are going to say. Even if it seems trivially unimportant. Allow them the freedom to express themselves. Think of it as a time to exercise patience. To love means to hear. When we attentively listen we’re saying you matter. I value what you are saying. You are important to me!

The next time you engage in a conversation with your spouse…

Purchase your copy of “Holy Matrimony:Now That We’re Married” to read more….

NEXT:Chapter 4 – That’s Your Responsibility

Holy Matrimony – Chapter 2 – Why Should I Submit To You ?

January 31, 2012 by  
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When we submit we yield to the power or will of another. Submission is a humble compliant act. It is not an inferior position. It is a position in which we can learn integrity. What is integrity? Webster defines integrity as; an unimpaired condition; soundness. Adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values. Completeness.

It is only with God can one ultimately find completeness. The marital relationship is when two become one. When they leave and cleave spiritually the two should become one flesh. Notice that our physical body has two arms, two hands, two eyes, two ears, two legs and two feet. These body parts are designed to work as a team.

For example; to advance forward one foot has to step out first (unless you want to hop). Does this mean one is more important than the other? No! A symphonic cadence develops when two walk together in love.
The Bible tells us that the wife should submit to the husband in all things. This establishes our walking order. But don’t just stop there. It also tells the husband to love the wife as Christ loved the church.

< NEXT:Chapter 3Why Don’t You Listen ?

Holy Matrimony – Chapter 1 – Marriage Who’s Idea Is It Anyway ?

January 31, 2012 by  
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Marriage is for two mature responsible adults. One male and one female. Or one man and one woman created by God. It was God’s idea from the beginning of time that man and woman co-habit in a loving monogamous relationship. God formed Adam out of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. He placed man in the Garden of Eden to work and care for it. He even gave man instructions. “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die”. Genesis 1: 16-17 NIV

It was God who decided that the man He created should not be alone. “The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2: 18 NIV. God decided that Adam needed a companion. He caused Adam to sleep deeply and extracted one of his rib bones. From this he made woman. She became bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. Woman came out of man. She came from his side. Someone for him to love and cherish to be close to his side.

Why all the historical religious stuff? Remember anything can be religious. This is a profound spiritual truth! God is the exclusive Creator of mankind. Man and Woman came from God. Not apes. No big bang! Not evolution! Who made the first car? Who made the first stoplight? Who made the first TV? Who invented computers? Give credit where it is due! GOD made man and woman.

God’s design for marriage has not changed! The Supreme Court of the United States has voted against the WORD of GOD and has sanctioned same-sex unions. It is so very important to know that MARRIAGE GOD’S WAY WORKS!

Purchase your copy of “Holy Matrimony” to read more…

Song of Solomon – A Case Study on Purity and Passion

February 14, 2010 by  
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In a healthy marriage you are friends as well as lovers

SONG of SOLOMON Case study in PURITY & PASSION

This is one of the most loving, romantic and poetic Books found in the Old Testament of the Bible! Did you know that some of the most passionate “Love Songs” dating back to ancient Hebrew times were written by King Solomon? It was originally called and still is at times known as ” Song Of Songs”! Well after all he had (700) seven hundred wives and (300) three hundred concubines! If you ever want to hear some passionate love songs or romantic poetry look no more; The Song of Solomon is the perfect venue! The Key verse: “I am my Lover’s and my Lover is mine; he browses among the lilies.”

God who is LOVE is amazingly AWESOME! If you want some Sweet Some Things” to read to each other this is the place! Now whoever said that The Word could not be sung? This Book is indeed filled with melodic romantic prose! In The Song of Solomon, King Solomon candidly speaks of love between a bridegroom and a bride! The sanctity of marriage is affirmed as well as a brilliant illustration of the Love God has for His people!

The world in which we live is saturated by the news media with tales of sexual escapades, sexual freedom, extramarital affairs, homosexuality and secret rendezvous of the rich and famous celebrities as well as politicians! Divorce is raging a battle against marriage! Any and just about everything goes … This is also attempting to take a stronghold on God’s Church! Many say you have to accept me as I am regardless of my sexual preferences because unconditional love says so? We are to love people not the sin! Sin is anything that separates us from God! God determines what is or is not sinful!

Did you know that sex originated in the Bible? Yes, It was created by God! How did sex ever become such a dirty word? Man tends to always pervert what God has made for good! The world tries to redefine marriage to suit whomever… It has been twisted and turned upside down by too many! Sex for some is a no strings attached, or just a wild activity of lust void of commitment and a mere wild expressed bodily exercise! In this case you are just giving away a part of you to an uncommitted partner…

It was really meant to be a holy union celebrating the “two becoming one”It is the closest form of body language that one can physically express to another; I Love you! The Word says; And Adam said : This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become ONE flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.” Everything God made is good! It is when sex is practiced outside of the boundaries of marriage, not as He intended things begin to get complicated… Having sex is not bad or dirty. Sex was made for mutuality between husband and wife, each has a responsibility to one another! Celebrating love, experiencing one another in a pleasurable way, producing children and bonding together is all sanctioned by God within HOLY MATRIMONY!

If you did not know it, there is a lot going on regarding sex in the Bible! The Word talks explicitly about the consequences of “sex outside of marriage.” The world says no problem! “Go for it.” Remember; “Think fire out of the fireplace!” It’s possible but dangerous! The Song of Solomon is a poignant, emotional, moving poetic drama about love. In intimate details King Solomon bears his soul to his lover and she to him. Here is a wonderful illustration that is often over looked putting sex and marriage in its proper place.

Although some even say it is a story of God’s love for the children of Israel being expressed in an Allegory? Others say it is a story of married love. But really it is both! God Loves us! He wants what is best for us! He does not want us ignorant in anyway. It is so good to know that we are saved by His GRACE! As you read consider thinking on this fact that GOD IS LOVE! You cannot turn back the hands of time. But you can go forward in the Lord! It is never too late to start living His way! “All have sinned and fallen short of the GLORY of GOD!”

As you stroll through the corridors of “The Song of Solomon” remember GOD LOVES YOU! Seriously think about committing or recommitting to living your life His way? Think about inviting Him into the messiness and allowing Him to show you and guide you. Through the gift of His Holy Spirit He can show you how to bring order, peace, patience, kindness, self control, happiness, joy and so much more to your marriage! You also have His Blessings on your marriage bed!

Love physically expressed is powerful between a husband and wife! It can be a conscious time to solidify your marriage and honor your vows! This allows your inner beauty to glow and shine forth, sensitivity and sincerity encompasses mutual fulfillment! Keep the romance going by adding embers to the flame of your marriage! Although it began at the altar it should continue on day by day! This helps to keep emotional walls from erecting that can become barriers in your marriage! Time is so precious. Tomorrow is not promised! Make sure you take time to nurture one another! The Song of Solomon honors marriage!

Let us sample a taste of what Solomon shares. This is from The Beloved!

“Let him Kiss me with the Kisses of his mouth

For your love is more delightful than wine.

Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;

Your name is like perfume poured out.

No wonder the maidens Love you!

Take me away with you, let us hurry!

Let the king bring me into his chambers…”

Solomon was the son of King David, he was chosen by God to build the Temple in Jerusalem. Solomon had bestowed upon him an extraordinary gift of wisdom. He wrote over (3,000) three thousand proverbs and (1,000) one thousand songs! The Song Of Solomon itself contains (7) seven poems! It gives a descriptive account about how they met. The engagement, the wedding and the procession, the actual wedding night as well as the marriage itself!

This refreshing romantic Book describes Solomon’s love for his bride in a way that captivates the refreshing and invigorating qualities that love brings forth! Although life can become very difficult at times; Marriage was meant to provide a committed partner to weather the storms of life! Your marriage should not consist of only major complaints, sorrows and problems. Nor should there be any physical, mental or emotional abuse! This is not what God intended! If your marriage needs to be refreshed, I pray this inspires you! Marriage should be a place where ultimate transparency, physical mutually satisfying intimacy between husband and wife can be shared! Coming together should be a time to lock all the trappings and disappointments of life out and invite in refreshing, excitement and reinforcing the cherished memories that brought you together!

The Song of Solomon says: “How beautiful are your sandaled feet, O princes daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman’s hands. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Hesborn by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking towards Damascus. Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. How beautiful you are and how pleasing. O LOVE with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit …”

As you mature your marriage should as well. It should age gracefully like a fine antique; they become more cherished and valuable with age. Cultures vary in their perceptions of lovemaking. There are some cultures that teach and encourage enhancing the physical lovemaking within marriage. There is a freedom that emerges when the couple together make their physical intimacy a priority. You become like “Epoxy” glue. Once the two components come together it is virtually impossible to separate! Love between a man and woman is priceless. Remember “GOD IS LOVE” and true love was meant to last through forever! It is not the same as what I call “Intoxicating Affections” that only mimic true love they do not last; but at some point will leave a residue of resentment! The key components of a great marriage is love, trust, mutual respect, understanding, devotion and commitment. When you say “I DO!” Remember, Loving committed marriages reflect God not domination and control! Your marriage should be a reflection of “How much you Love the Lord!” Remember no longer two but ONE. “What GOD has joined together let not man put asunder!” I hope you enjoy “THE SONG OF SOLOMON”!!!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, Life Coach and ordained Minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” her second book is “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married” DeBorrah is eager to share and encourage all ages, her third book and first Christian Fiction Novel is appropriate for ages 10 – 110. It is “The Enchanting Legends of Shiloh Mansion: The Young King. DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published.

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