True Beauty Comes From Within Part 3

Your true innate beauty is a marvelous gift from the Lord. It comes forth from a cavernously vast inner depth. Here you are encouraged to live life to the fullest with purpose. God has placed within our souls a void that only He can fill. So, make it a top priority to get to know God intimately. Life with the Lord becomes a wonderful journey. Always strive to be the “Best You with God by your side!” Then whatever comes your way instead of crumbling when adversity arises, life will thrust you to delve deeper in the Lord.

“True beauty comes from the inside out…”

God is utterly amazing. I can never say enough God things about the Lord! He can provide a marvelously blessed sure unshakeable sound “Solid Rock” foundation.

When you have God in your life and a crisis arises you are better able to momentarily journey within and ponder. When you seek him diligently He will reveal your path forward. Always seek the “Will & Way” of the Lord above all others. Be patient, because this requires a walk of faith. Your faith will help you shake off any doubt, anxiety or fear. Trust comes to the forefront. ( Be prayerful and selective from whom you receive your spiritual counsel… ) You won’t have to act happy; because you can be happy. You can also be disappointed at times but this does not become the theme of your life. You assess the situation and are able to bounce back… The LORD will HELP you to become resilient! Your desire to respond properly then naturally emerges. You will then embark upon a quest to rise to the occasion and seek a favorable resolve to persevere. Self-control is a marvelous virtue.

True Beauty goes far beyond the surface. Yes, we can wear beautiful clothes but that does not make us beautiful. It is merely a preferred style of clothing we select to cover our bodies. It’s your choice but be mindful of the message you are sending… Ladies not everyone needs to see your jewels. So be mindful of those low necklines as well as those extra short hemlines. Be mindful how tight you wear your clothes as well. This is true regardless of your size.

What message are you sending in wearing your clothes extra skin tight? Now if you are going deep sea diving of course that is quite appropriate. Of course it is always your choice? Being classy and discrete is far better. As you age do so gracefully… This varies depending on the individual. Classic designs don’t tend to be trendy. There is a vast assortment of fabrics and styles to cover yourself tastefully… That allow you the freedom to express you. In this day and age people wear some of everything everywhere. To be fashionable nowadays some even buy torn up clothes to wear. Go figure? So don’t dress for other people.

Nor should you live for other people. If you really want to truly be happy, live each day to please God. Then you will not so readily jump to conform to everything and everyone. The Word of God is powerful it transforms your mind from the inside out. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. It is wise to dress for the season, the weather or the occasion and how you feel. Each of us have or should develop our own personal style.

Our body is a human temple that temporarily houses our souls. We have the freedom to artistically express ourselves outwardly and inwardly. What is really most beautiful is when we are adorned with the spiritual armor of the Lord regardless as to what we put on. It helps us to protect who we are in the Lord from the environment and others. Instead of conforming to this world our minds are renewed and transformed by His Word. Your senses are sharpened. This then reflects His presence within our lives. It also helps to deflect all the fiery darts that are often thrown at us. Always be aware that God is totally aware of what’s going on…

Guess what when people talk behind your back? They are talking in front of God! Be willing to stand upon God’s principles regardless as to what they say or don’t say. God does not consult people to determine how He wants to bless us… Always keep in mind who’s you are; we serve and omniscient God. He will show you what to do and what not to do. Listen more to Him and less to them. God is true to His Word. Know without doubt; God always takes care of His own.


True beauty is not worn it cannot be put on nor taken off. It is from this rich place deep inside from which a wellspring comes forth. Here one discovers and retrieves the veiled beauty that has been pre-positioned in one’s soul.

I believe as a woman you should remain strong yet feminine. There should be no confusion to your gender or identity in the Lord! Men and women are different yet of equal value.  Yet there is a unique inner beauty in both. It is a wonderful thing being a woman or a man who knows the Lord! There is nothing to compare to it. It is within the depths of our soul one can encounter this precious internal, eternal spiritual fountain. From here springs forth godly wisdom and understanding which emits the deeper beauty that has been coded into our souls by our Creator. It was knitted into us before we were even in our mother’s wound.

Each of us are uniquely created

God has made us tri-dimensionally. We are body, mind and soul. We are created in His image. God has given each of us an innate temperament. No two of us are alike. So don’t be a chameleon. There is a reason why we are not comfortable just any and everywhere. Please don’t follow the crowd. God did not make us to fit in everywhere and with everybody.

“For you created my inner most being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. ALL the days for me were ordained…” Psalm 139

Yes, there is also a surface beauty that one can see but sometimes you will find that it does not always go very deep. Learn to spend some quiet time in the presence of the Lord. Momentarily from time to time deny yourself spending time in the world. This will increase your objectivity as well as sharpen your discernment. Then notice how when you are in the world, look around and you will see things more clearly that you had not paid much attention to.

Don’t let others control you by remote and push your buttons. Learn to respond rather than to impulsively react. When you do this, you are not suppressing how you feel. You are simply putting yourself in check. You are exercising self-control.

In times like these you do want to be cognizant of what is going on around at all times. Truly we are in the “Last Days” and some of anything and everything is going everywhere. Nothing is no longer sacred to many… You also want to be aware of what is being said to you or around you. Proceed with caution whenever necessary.

The hardest thing for some people to do is be quiet and still. They will often speak without thinking it through. Or purposefully say things to attempt to set you off. They can at times even get physical… This is the case when discipline is not yet embedded into the essence of one’s soul. They have to work harder at learning how to discipline themselves. But praise be to Christ Jesus with HIM; “ALL things are possible!”

I Peter says, that in order for our beauty not to fade away it has to come from our “ inner self, the unfading beauty of a quiet gentle spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” This does not mean one has to become silent or passive, nor a doormat, but rather it is a quite proactive mode. Nor does it mean that as a woman you have to be loud, argumentative and abrasive.  Know, that quite often under those tough harsh, hard  exterior veneers there is a very fragile soul.

Yes, the Lord wants us to be observant of what is going on around us. HIS WORD teaches us “to observe all things…” But know without doubt; we don’t have to fear when we know HE IS WITH US.

Your true  “security & significance”  comes from a deep place that yields natural discipline and self-control. It is a gift from the Lord. As long as the Lord has us on this side of Heaven it is to grow. Although we must suffer and be misundertood from time to time know that God is always working in our favor. It is when we put our hope and trust in the Lord we can discover the true beauty that is deep within us. This beauty yields an inner glowing resiliency. God always wants to take us to deeper depths and higher heights in Him. Grace, Joy & Peace are a part of the “Fruit of His Spirit!”  

Reflected within our lives and upon the countenance of our faces is the hope of assured Victory in Christ Jesus! “For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayers…” Occasionally take some time away from everything and look deep within. Seek God’s approval over the approval of others… Your best rewards will always come from Him. God knows absolutely everything about all of us. It is utterly amazing what God will show you. It is important to learn to yield to the will of the Lord. He will never ask us to do anything that goes against His Word! God is infinite our finite minds cannot fully comprehend the depth of His vastness. He truly is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is the Alpha & Omega the Beginning & the End. Above Him is no other. In Him you can discover everything that you will ever need.

Always remember; “it is in Him we live and move and have our being…”  WOW!!!

Each day is a precious “Gift” from the Lord! “Draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you…” Live and strive to become all the Lord has created you to be. God is absolutely “AWEWONDERFUL!” God truly wants to be a part of every area of our lives. Embrace His Word with passion continually pressing onward and upward. God’s Word will make you think spiritually. He is the Sustainer & Giver of life. Seek to live to patiently grow in His grace and thrive knowing that He will never leave nor forsake you.

Life is but a vapor. Time is valuable. So spend less time in foolishness or in regrets. Make spending time with the Lord a priority. Learn to; “… Be in the world but not of the world …” Take a Spiritual bath in His Word regularly. This is how you get clean from the inside out. This way you can realistically live each day prepared for life as though you are expecting Christ Jesus to return at any moment. Begin to genuinely embrace and apply the Truth of His Word daily within your life.  God will  in turn continuously marvelously make mold and shape you from the inside out into all He has created you to be. “Rejoice in the Lord Always!” Praise and thank the Lord daily. Truly; He can and will keep you on the “Narrow Path” that leads to Him.

Yes indeed, always remember: “True Beauty Comes From Within!”

Marriage and Addiction Relief Part 5

Marriage & Addiction

Monkeys
Part 5

How drugs affect your bodies and your marriage?

Drug abuse continues to escalate. Addiction is real! It is taking its casualties all over the world. Drugs change the natural chemistry of the human body. Drugs for some are necessary therapeutic medicinal healing aids to facilitate improving ones health. For millions of people they help to sustain a certain quality of life. Diabetes, heart disease, cancer, infections, viruses, broken bones, sprains, pain and arthritis are just a few of the plethora of ailments that are usually controlled by drugs. In these cases they are usually necessary and beneficial.

Doctors treat many illnesses, diseases and conditions with medical drugs every day! Drugs may be chewed, swallowed, injected, inhaled or sniffed. There are legitimate as well as illegitimate uses for drugs. One can become addicted in both cases. The use of drugs illegally is far more dangerous. When one has a spouse who engages in drugs and or alcohol it is much harder to establish intimacy. Their need for drugs and drinking is more important than their need to be emotionally available.

It is not wise to use drugs that are not personally prescribed for you nor those purchased illegally. Drugs alter the chemistry of the brain and make you feel different. A physician takes into consideration your current health status, your weight and symptoms when prescribing a prescription. The more you use drugs the more your brain chemistry becomes altered.

You are out of control!

When a person becomes addicted they are out of control. The drug or behavior of choice now has taken over and the desire to “fix” the way they are feeling takes priority over everything! They are no doubt self-centered and will quite often do whatever is necessary just to “feel good.” This is why it is so important to be under the care of a trained physician who knows how to properly prescribe the proper medication to address any physical or mental ailments if you have no self-control. Even under the care of a qualified doctor one can still become chemically dependent and addicted to drugs.

Pain is real!

The addict is in pain and has lost their ability to cope with reality unless they are under the influence. Drugs and or alcohol have become the priority! They have developed an unhealthy habit and desire to experience a level of pleasure and/or the need to escape from reality. Life can be difficult and often people are thrust into situations and terrible living conditions that are unbearable. Childhood trauma and cumulative issues not dealt with fester and cause emotional pain. People often carry many unresolved issues into their relationships… This can forbid them from being transparent. This can also hinder them from maturing. The marriage then often suffers from neglect and lack of intimacy. This causes much conflict within he marriage. The spouse with the addiction is often emotionally unavailable. It is important to seek viable help.

Your marriage should be a priority

To some marriage is a game rather than a sacred union. Rather than being responsible the addicted spouse is selfish. A secondary marriage addiction example. I was the Sacramento Marriage Examiner for many years… There was a man in the area who was arrested for participating in numerous marriage unions. He also arranged as many as 39 bogus marriages for others for which he profited for a fee at the expense of others unhappiness. This was not good it is a total disregard for moral principles. This was a selfish abusive pattern in operation. Marriage is supposed to be sacred. It is important to take time to get to know who you are marrying… This man’s selfish deceptive actions hurt many people. He had no intention of making a virtuous commitment. It is evident that he had an unhealthy addiction to the idea of marriage and fulfilling his own desires.

The basis of a good healthy relationship is trust

Trust can be shattered like a glass vase. Leaving one traumatized! Trust can erode when one is not attentive to the needs of their spouse creating an abyss. Marriage is about coming together and building a great partnership. Affair proof your marriage. Keep God in the center of your marriage! It can be tedious regaining trust again but it is possible. It is always important to be honest about your pain and however you are feeling. Disillusioned by a break in trust usually leaves the spouse empty and needy. Which also makes them vulnerable… Building or establishing an ongoing relationship with the Lord will build a stronger foundation that will help to keep you anchored. God is available 24/7! God is true to His Word! “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight!” Proverbs 3.

Sexual Addiction

Sexual addiction is quite threatening to a marriage. It is an intimacy problem. Millions of people in the US suffer from sexual addictions. The person with a sexual addiction has a hard time connecting to and making a monogamous commitment. They are caught up in a vicious cycle of having their own needs met at any cost. The spouse’s needs are usually ignored and neglected due to the spouses self-indulgence. It is important to keep and maintain healthy boundaries in your marriage. Respect your marriage as well as the marriages of others. Stop giving yourself away. This should NOT be. Don’t just connect to anything or anybody. You should learn to be happy by yourself before you think that you can be happy with your spouse. Revisit your vows don’t let them become mere words. Remember; You both committed not only to your one another but to GOD!

Addiction that is not addressed will not just go away. REPENT! Commit or recommit to God and your spouse. Tell them you need HELP! Tell them you are sincerely sorry. If you are not truly sorry you will repeatedly fall into a pattern of addiction. Restoration is a choice; it takes a lot of work but it is possible. You will have to build a new relationship with a strong foundation of transparency and trust. With the HELP of the Lord; You can come forth from the fire of addiction like pure gold!

You need HELP!

Godly counsel and much time spent in fervent prayer are needed along with a necessary redemptive confrontation. The confrontation means I care enough to “speak the Truth in Love.” Confrontation brings the issues to the forefront. You must be willing to face your demons. Demons meaning the supernatural malevolent influences that have held you captive to do harm to your mind-body and soul. They keep you in a daily battle to control your destiny. This does not have to be. There is NO power stronger than GOD!

This has caused you to hurt those around you as well. They have suffered greatly. Although through a lot of it you were somewhat unconscious; start by apologizing for your behavior. Yes you were under the influence. It is important that the issues are then addressed immediately. Keep it real! If you or your spouse has an addiction of any kind; Please DO NOT delay seeking help. The longer you wait the harder it is to make the necessary lifestyle and environment changes. You can be delivered! You must want to break free! A couple that has a strong healthy marriage bond can be a great mentor and a source of encouragement. The TRUTH always prevails!

You have vowed to be there for one another for better or for worse? Begin to Take care of yourself and make it a point to look your best. Not just in a superficial way. But to discipline yourself to take better care of your body that houses your soul. Don’t just look good but be or get in a good place emotionally… Embrace moral principles. If you are reading this and you are single. Start dealing with your issues now before you commit to marry. When you marry someone with an addiction you have married their addiction. You get a somewhat superficial façade of who they really are. Such as how they cope when not under the influence. Well usually they don’t. They usually become annoying, impatient and cantankerous It is important to know that a good strong marriage is built on TRUST! If necessary recommit to your vows and start anew.

God can heal any addiction!

The road to recovery and healing will be tedious. There are some who make up their mind and are done with the dysfunctional cycle. They readily hold fast to their dedication to take back control of their life. Others vary some taking longer than others yet, dedicated to changing. Stop making excuses and make it a goal to recapture your self-respect dignity and integrity. You can change but it is your choice. Reach daily for self-control!

Congratulations you are on the right road now! It is called “Straight and Narrow!”

Now let’s get busy moving forward building better, stronger, satisfying, trusting enduring relationships and marriages! Be encouraged to become the “Best You!” Stay on the straight and narrow. “PRAY without ceasing” all throughout your day. This is what keeps us connected to the Lord! This is also how you build a “Solid Rock” intimate relationship with the Lord! Know that Great Healthy Relationships and Great Marriages (without addiction) are truly still possible! GOD IS MORE THAN ABLE!

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