Chapter 1 – Marriage Who’s Idea Is It anyway?
Marriage is for two mature responsible adults. One male and one female. Or one man and one woman created by God. It was God’s idea from the beginning of time that man and woman co-habit in a loving monogamous relationship. God formed Adam out of the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life. He placed man in the Garden of Eden to work and care for it. He even gave man instructions. “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die”. Genesis 1: 16-17 NIV
It was God who decided that the man He created should not be alone. “The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2: 18 NIV. God decided that Adam needed a companion. He caused Adam to sleep deeply and extracted one of his rib bones. From this he made woman. She became bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh. Woman came out of man. She came from his side. Someone for him to love and cherish to be close to his side.
Why all the historical religious stuff? Remember anything can be religious. This is a profound spiritual truth! God is the exclusive Creator of mankind. Man and Woman came from God. Not apes. No big bang! Not evolution! Who made the first car? Who made the first stoplight? Who made the first TV? Who invented computers? Give credit where it is due! GOD made man and woman. God’s design for marriage has not …..
Chapter 2 – Why Should I Submit To You?
When we submit we yield to the power or will of another. Submission is a humble compliant act. It is not an inferior position. It is a position in which we can learn integrity. What is integrity? Webster defines integrity as; an unimpaired condition; soundness. Adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values. Completeness.
It is only with God can one ultimately find completeness. The marital relationship is when two become one. When they leave and cleave spiritually the two should become one flesh. Notice that our physical body has two arms, two hands, two eyes, two ears, two legs and two feet. These body parts are designed to work as a team.
For example; to advance forward one foot has to step out first (unless you want to hop). Does this mean one is more important than the other? No! A symphonic cadence develops when two walk together in love.
The Bible tells us that the wife should submit to the husband in all things. This establishes our walking order. But don’t just stop there. It also tells the husband to love the wife as ……
Chapter 3 – Why Don’t You Listen?
Did you know listening is an art? We must learn to value what each other has to say. When your partner is talking don’t mentally construct your response or rebuttal. Consciously attempt to clear your mind. Sincerely, actively and tentatively listen to what your partner is saying. Let it be your goal to attentively comprehend what they are trying to relate to you. Make it a goal to be intimately interested in what your spouse says to you.
Few people really listen to one another. Why? Because we are often so busy trying to relay our own inner self. Instead of actually listening we are often mentally constructing what we want to relay. Learn to really value what the other is trying to transmit. Even when we think we know what they are going to say. Even if it seems trivially unimportant. Allow them the freedom to express themselves. Think of it as a time to exercise patience.
To love means to hear. When we attentively listen we’re saying you matter. I value what you are saying. You are important to me! The next time you engage in a conversation with your spouse…
Chapter 4 – That’s Your Responsibility
Marriage is a partnership. It is meant to be a relationship where two imperfect individuals come together that share a common bond of love. This bond is ideally meant to last “to death us do part”, for a lifetime. Many people never anticipate what it’s really like to live with someone.
Marriage is more than spending a few days together or a week or two. It should last a lifetime. Often initially the infatuation is so strong the two of you almost feel invincible. Often the couple is oblivious to the reality of it all. Thinking that their feelings will make up for their differences. Yes, differences you will have, but that’s normal. It is how you decide to resolve those differences that are important. When reality sets in they realize “I didn’t think about this or that”. Who does what? When and how often?
You wake up one morning and wonder……..
Chapter 5 – What About Sex and Intimacy ?
Intimacy is an important ingredient in a strong fulfilling marriage. Intimacy involves transparency. There is no true intimacy without being truthful with one another. It involves growing to the point you can allow your intimate personal defenses to rest. You are able to allow your spouse to inhabit the depth of your being. Together you intimately caress the intangible you. You together grow to the point you are freely able to become vulnerable. The walls come down. A pathway to the heart is established.
Marriage should consist of an ever increasing, warm endearing closeness. After all your spouse should be closer to you than anyone else. Remember the two shall be one flesh.
Don’t confuse intimacy with sex. Many people have sexual relationships and never experience intimacy. Life’s lessons can be…..
Chapter 6 – When You Have Been Married Before
God really intended for marriage to last for a lifetime. The scriptures clearly tells us “what God has joined together let not man put asunder”! Asunder; means to not let anything pull you apart or separate you. Why do we so very often fail to seek God’s advice when seeking a mate? We instead allow our feelings and emotions to often guide us in a direction that leads to a futile destiny.
In our haste for companionship we can often make commitments that really should not be. Many often marry on the rebound. Loneliness and/or rejection can compel one to enter into a relationship too soon! Hurt and pain can hurl you into a relationship to escape rejection and loneliness. Swept away and blinded by an over whelming sometimes even sensual infatuation we fall heart first into marriage.
Many will fall prey to what I choose to call temporary or “intoxicating affections”. Its symptoms merely mimic true love! All too often once the blinders come off you find yourself …….
Chapter 7 – The Down Side Of Life And Marriage
God can direct you in your marital relationship. The adversity He allows is to help us build integrity. From this day forward make a sincere attempt to improve your relationship with your spouse. Take a moment and see where you are. Is your relationship headed in the right direction? Ask your self do you really want your relationship to ……
Chapter 8 – Do You Have A Temperature?
Each of us has a unique inborn Temperament. Our temperament determines how we react to people places and things. It is given to us by God. It is also the determining factor in how well we handle stresses and the pressures of life. I would like to share with you some information in regards to temperament. I have personally experienced the benefits of understanding temperament. Just know that each of us has a part in the puzzle of life. Spiritually speaking we are all members of the body of Christ and each of us has a place within the body. Yet we are all uniquely different. “God is not a respecter of persons.”
The idea of temperament is not new. GOD has placed in each one of us a unique temperament. Our environment is made up of the things we smell, see, hear and learn. Our mind is similar to a computer. It keeps a detailed record of all our life events. We are a by product of the things we take in. They help shape our personality. Our personality is a mask we develop to protect us in the world.
There are there basic components to our temperament. Inclusion; to the degree we like or do not like to relate to others. Control; how we establish a satisfactory relationship with others in respect to control and power. Affection; the need to maintain a level of love and affection with others.
There are many variations of temperaments. No two are alike. But ….
Chapter 9 – Two Is A Couple Three Is A Crowd
Each and every marriage is different. I have said before the formula that works for me may not work for you. Just like what looks good on you may not be well suited for me. We were not created as I always say to be “Cookie Cutter Christians”. Life would we be quite boring if we were all alike. We need to learn to respect our unique differences. Sharing our life experiences shines light on the darkness.
The foundational principles we should apply in marriage are ordained by God. Love, truth, mutual respect, fidelity, and commitment should be woven into the fabric of your marital relationship.
A God given soul mate is a precious jewel. Since 55-60% of marriages end in divorce it’s important that you don’t let anything or anyone come between you. After 33 years of marriage I still remember our late Pastor Rev. Ruth Johnson telling us that marriage was a circle. That we should not let any one come between us.
God must be in the center of your marriage! Your committed relationship with Him will fill the void in the center of the circle. The Holy Spirit will teach, lead and guide you how to love your partner. Begin to divorce proof your marriage. In order for your marriage to weather the storms of life God must be at the helm. Think of marriage as an unending circle with God invisibly and ever present in the center.
I vividly remember our pastor explaining the significance of the wedding ring. How it represented a circle. How we should not let anyone else in the circle. You see a circle is complete it has no …..
Chapter 10 – Till Death Do Us Part
Marriage is the first institution that God designed! Making a sincere commitment to your marriage is one of the most important decisions you can make in life. When God made Adam He made him both male and female. He took Eve out of Adam to be by his side. God is so wonderfully awesome! It was His intention to provide Adam with a compatible helpmeet to satisfy together their desires for companionship.
Marriage is the ultimate partnership where two together can spiritually, physically and emotionally have there needs mutually met.
God has ordained marriage. Each marriage is a unique covenant agreement. God intends for your marriage to…
Be sure to enter the Goodreads Book Giveaway for Holy Matrimony:Now That We’re Married 4/11 – 5/11/16
I am truly thankful for my Husband. He has been wonderful. We have shared many marvelous memories. The Lord has knitted our hearts together in His Love. I daily thank & praise His Holy Name for HIS Everlasting Love is priceless.
A Great Father
My husband has been a marvelous father. He respectfully nurtured and engaged our children as they were growing up. He has been a great role model. I am thankful that we raised our children in a great home environment.
I can truly say; GOD has been GOOD to me all of my life! I thank Him for HE has BLESSED me/us in ways that I cannot express in words.
The Lord has also brought us through much spiritual warfare. He has taught us invaluable Life Wisdom Lessons. Hold your peace because; “GOD WILL FIGHT YOUR BATTLES.” Daily He continues to grow us in HIS Grace Wisdom & Knowledge as we walk in the TRUTH of HIS WORD! We can always think of something to be thankful for. Regardless of what happens the Lord has taught us when you LOVE HIM “ALL things work together for the GOOD” “Where the SPIRIT of the LORD is there is LIBERTY.” II Corinthians 3
“GOD WILL take care of you!” I praise and thank the Lord for the liberty that we have found in HIM. I know that it is only by His grace that HE has instilled within us to know without doubt that HE always has our best interest at heart. “I once was young but not I am old, yet, I have never seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread.” Psalm 37
I am grateful to know that the Lord is omnipresent & I have “BLESSED ASSURANCE” knowing that everywhere I/we are HE is there. The Lord has allowed us together to see and visit much of this amazing world that was spoken into existence through JESUS CHRIST. There is still so much more to learn & see. One should be ever mindful that everywhere you are GOD is there. “The earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof. The world and them that dwell therein.” Psalm 24 I am thankful for the Lord allowing us to feel and experience His presence wherever we go.
We can always TRUST the LORD. HIS WORD teaches us; “BLESSED be the GOD & FATHER of our LORD JESUS CHRIST, who has BLESSED us with every SPIRITUAL BLESSING in the Heavenly places in CHRIST.” Ephesians 1 In the Lord you can discover everything that you will ever need for Life & Living & Eternal life. For this I am eternally thankful. We have learned that “true beauty comes from within.
~ Personal Tribute ~
Give honor where honor is due. I thank the Lord for the many GIFTS & TALENTS that He has given to my husband the father of our children. (As well as the many gifts that are inclusive of our family at large.) He has been and outstanding husband & father. He has been loving, strong, patient, firm, protective, at times unyielding and yet kind with our children.
He is a marvelous skilled Minister of Music. He has patiently directed many choirs and taught them the importance of “harmonic blending” to the degree you can hear a melodic ring when the harmony is on point. He can skillfully play any genre of music from Gospel to Classical Jazz and make the plethora of crafted key boards dance their own melodic tune.
“Your Gift will make room for you…” Proverbs 18 ~
He has excelled in the world of technology. He is an astute business man who has been an overseer and managed and mentored and trained many professional project managers within the corporate world. His natural temperament is extraordinary and resilient. He is able to relate to a plethora of culture, ages and diverse personalities. This is true if you are saved or unsaved. He can engage one on one or to a multitude on a multiplicity of spiritual and intellectual levels. But most important, he is a humble yet very strong Man of God. He can steadfastly exegete, teach, proclaim, expound and stand upon GOD’S WORD. He has indeed accomplished much to make this world a better place to live in for many.
He is the love of my life!
Together we daily welcome the presence of the Lord within our home and our lives. Our children are now adults. They are now establishing their own homes. Our love continues to grow. As the Word says; “PRAISE GOD from whom all BLESSINGS flow” THANK YOU LORD!
Life is so much more precious when you share it with someone you are on one accord with. In a consecrated marriage you love, respect, admire, enjoy & trust one another without question. Precious endless memories abound. Yet, life is full of mountain top and valley experiences. Henceforth we have together learned to major in its joys and minor in its sorrows. To soar and trust God in the valley or upon the mountaintops. TRULY GOD IS GOOD ALL the time! I Thank the LORD for there has certainly been much less times in the valley… I THANK the LORD for teaching us how to work together to bring up our children in a home of love, patience, understanding & peace. The Lord’s presence is evident for; “Where two or three are gathered together in my name I am in the midst…” Matthew 18
Life with God is precious
I BELIEVE that each & every day is a precious GIFT from the Lord. Know HIS WORD for yourself because; ALL HIS WORD IS TRUE! What is so precious about the Lord is “He is not a respecter of persons…” James 2 Take delight in the Lord be patient because in HIS time, “HE will give you “the desires of your heart” that are in HIS WILL for you… Psalm 37
The Lord is always there to help us. We in turn need to just reach out, submit and trust HIM! For: “I will look to the hills from which comes my HELP. My HELP comes from the LORD. ” Psalm 121 I am thankful the the Lord’s presence in our lives.
We are to be “As wise as a serpent, yet as harmless as a dove.” Matthew 10 Don’t allow bitterness or regrets to take root, time is too precious and you do not want to waste a lot of it in regrets. Take some time & draw closer to the LORD for HE WILL teach you how to “guard your heart” with diligence. Psalm 3
Women respect your husbands. Husbands respect your wives. Love one another fervently. Single men & women seek the Lord’s direction if you desire a spouse. Hide the Word of God in your hearts. You must learn to give up “Me”ness for “We”ness! A great marriage is possible but it takes dedication, discipline, long suffering, prayer, sacrifice, work & responsibility. Furthermore marriage is about mutual team work. Therefore, be willing to give and give in love. Don’t take one another for granted. Learn to be thankful for the time you share with one another
Truly the LORD is my/our Shepherd! We are living in an ever changing world that continues to move further and further away from His principles! Know this; Marriage God’s Way Works! Keep God as the Center of your marriage. There are those who will do and say just about anything… Do not fear or be discouraged, instead TRUST GOD, for HE WILL; “lead you in the Path of Righteousness for HIS Namesake…” Psalm 23 Honor God in your marriage and within your home. PRAY for DISCERNMENT! Stay connected & “PRAY without ceasing” all throughout your day.
TRULY GOD IS FAITHFUL! THANK YOU LORD for my husband the father of our Children. I Love You through ETERNITY. ~ Today & everyday; HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! ~
Every woman does not want children
Not having children does not mean you are selfish
Family for one woman may mean to have a host of children. Family for another woman may be to have one or two children. Yet, another woman may choose to not have any children at all. Does this make her any less than a woman because she decided to not have children? No!
I had the opportunity to have a lovely insightful heart to heart talk with a group of women who decided that they did not want to have children. They were open and quite frank with me. They felt that there is often a stereotyped stigma when you decide not to have children. It was important that they share these general concerns. These were intelligent, pleasant, compassionate, fastidious, loving, well rounded professional women who loved their husbands and had great caring empathetic relationships with children within their extended families.
Not having children does not mean that you do not like or care for children. Nor does it mean that you are self centered or selfish. For their own personal reasons they had responsibly made a conscious decision that was best for them.
A few things to think about!
What is important as a woman is that you take responsibility for the well being of the children you do bring into this world. Children do not belong to us as our property. They are entrusted to us by God to love and nurture them and prepare them for life. We are to give them healthy boundaries that make them feel safe. We are to be sensitive to the unique needs and dispositions of their particular temperament. It is imperative that you are firm and consistent. This helps them to feel safe secure.
When you raise them as your possession you raise them selfishly. They are more like an attachment to you and are usually unable to grow up and become autonomous and secure in who they are. They will have a tendency to follow the crowd and lack healthy self esteem.
Children who are raised to be accountable for their actions tend to become responsible adults.
Whatever you do please ladies do not have children to try and hold on to a man. If you do, just know that you do not have him anyway. You have his child and children should not be used to keep a relationship temporarily glued or to try to control or manipulate your spouse. On the other hand if you decide that you do not want to be married anymore. Please do not use your children to get back at your ex. Try to keep your problems between the two of you as much as possible.
Whenever you talk down to your children about their father or mother you risk impairing their emotional development. You cause them to doubt who they are. They will find it hard to trust others as well. Do not project your own insecurities upon your children; if you have; please put yourself in check and begin anew right where you are. You can’t change what has happened but you can move forward making better decisions. Disengage yourself from any destructive behavior. Get help if necessary. It is your responsibility to help your children to become whole! If you did not have a father or mother, if you had poor relationships with your parent or parents all the more reason to help them build one with theirs!
Life is a cavernously deep expeditious journey. It is a complex menagerie of diverse emotions, feelings, thoughts, interactions, relationships and occurrences! How long or short will each of us be here no one really knows! As we grow we encounter a multiplicity of experiences that cause us to look deeper into what life is really all about. Each day is a new opportunity to discover something new no matter how small or seemingly inconsequential! As we grow it becomes evident that there is so much more to life than meets the eye! We embark upon a remarkable quest of discovery; but where does or will it all lead? We discover that we are also spiritual beings…
How do we get to know GOD?
The spiritual journey leads us to the realization of our Creator! God the Father the Great “I AM.” The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob! This is what we as adherent believers believe! (I realize that not everyone believes the same.) As we begin to relate to the Lord properly He will free us more and more from the things that misrepresent Him. As we grow spiritually our spiritual eyes are opened and we become more conscious of why we do what we do! Our conscience becomes much more sensitive to the things that are contrary to His Will and His Way! Our desire should be to live to please Him as we grow spiritually. Growing in the Grace and Knowledge of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ is an ongoing continuing life process! The Canonical Gospels which we know as the WORD contains a wealth of wisdom regarding the history and origins of mankind! This is why it is so important to spend time in HIS WORD! Here we are able to ascertain the invaluable, priceless and precious TRUTH!
Through a plethora of life lessons we grow! We all have areas in which we are lacking! It is within our deficiencies we can discover a need for something greater than ourselves for survival. How do we cope with life, living and the anxieties that come along with it! As we become aware the discovery of a supernatural existence greater than ourselves and the ongoing need for spiritual growth and balance becomes apparent! It is a continual learning process.
God did not create us to be or become robots. Each of us is uniquely different with varying temperaments! He has given us the free will to choose… The world also offers many choices as well. It’s important to know the difference and then choose wisely. There are both good and bad consequences for our choices. Sin is what separates us from God! God is the Creator and Maker of mankind and ultimately knows what is best for each of us. It is our choice to draw closer to Him or look to the world and society for direction. The ways of God and the ways of the world often conflict, here lies the inner conflict…
God sent us His only begotten Son; JESUS CHRIST to redeem us from the curse of sin! Sin separates us from GOD! Jesus came as an innocent babe wrapped in sinless flesh. He overcame sin in the flesh. He went through all the stages of life, yet He never sinned! He was crucified, died and was buried and then He arose with ALL POWER! He came to point us back into the right direction that once again unites us to our Creator. The Narrow Path is the Way that leads to Him! Jesus is the Door back to the Father! Jesus is the only perfect example! Living for the Lord is meant to be a way of living daily! No one knows when but the LORD is going to return for HIS CHURCH!
GOD NEVER INTENDED FOR RELIGION TO BE A CRUTCH!
Why is there so much confusion about religion! What is religion?
Religion consists of cultural views, beliefs and various systems worldwide. Religion in itself is not bad but for many it means different things. It takes on many forms depending on the particular culture! Christianity, Islam Buddhism and Hinduism are considered the four major religions. There are thousands of religions throughout the world. Within those religions are varied and diverse practices and an assortment of rituals. What, whom, why and how we choose to worship is where the problem lies. What we believe varies… We must become aware of the mixture of misconceptions in order to know what true godly religion really is according to the Word of God.
This is what Wikipedia has to say about religion: “
“The word religion is sometimes used interchangeably with faith or belief system, but religion differs from private belief in that it has a public aspect. Some religions have organized behaviors, clergy, a definition of what constitutes adherence or membership, congregations of laity, regular meetings or services for the purposes of veneration of a deity or for prayer, holy places (either natural or architectural), and/or scriptures. The practice of a religion may also include sermons, commemoration of the activities of a god or gods, sacrifices, festivals, feasts, trance, initiations, funerary services, matrimonial services, meditation, music, art, dance, public service, or other aspects of human culture. However, there are examples of religions for which some or many of these aspects of structure, belief, or practices are absent.”
Technically by the worlds standard you can elect to worship just about anything. For some religion is just a commitment to an organized institutionalized system of beliefs and doctrines. The beliefs vary and often adapts and changes as the world changes…
CHRISTIANITY & RELIGION
Christianity goes beyond just being a religion. It is also the main focus within the context of this narrative! Religion is an essential important fundamental aspect of Christianity. Let’s take a look at The WORD of GOD’S definition for religion! “If any one considers him religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. Religion that GOD our FATHER accepts as PURE and FAULTLESS is this; to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to KEEP oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1. These verses are quite self explanatory.
Christianity is a way of living, it is meant to be a daily lifestyle! Being a Christian simply means to follow Jesus Christ and His teachings! Jesus is the promised Messiah! We who are called believers, through FAITH believe the Bible to be the intrinsic infallible Word of God! Christianity is monotheistic! We believe in one GOD! The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit are ONE! We are supposed to actually apply the principles of God’s Word to our daily lives! It is the barometer by which we determine right and wrong! Yes! It was divinely inspired by dedicated followers of God! As mentioned earlier the aspects of pure religion are explained in the Book of James! For many religion is about conforming to the beliefs of the masses without really personally taking the time to know what is actually in the Bible. Sometimes often embracing the traditions, doctrines and beliefs of a denomination over the Word of God!
GOD’S WORD IS ALIVE! It can sometimes be so simple we miss the intended message. The closer you or I draw to GOD the more we can increasingly understand the simplicity and powerfulness of HIS WORD! His Holy Spirit further opens our spiritual eyes and illuminates His Word so we can better comprehend the intended message. His Holy Spirit is the eternal inner Teacher and spiritual interpreter that reside within us as believers! To lead us to ALL TRUTH! Listen closely to what Jesus said! “I have much more to say to you, more than you can hear now bear. But when He the Spirit of TRUTH, comes He will guide you to ALL TRUTH. He will not speak on His own; He will speak only what he hears, and He will tell you what is yet to come. He will bring glory to Me by taking from what is mine and making it made known to you. ALL that belongs to the Father is mine. That is why I said the SPIRIT will take from what is mine and make it known to you.” John 16.
During Jesus’ last days on earth He talked quite candidly with His disciples. He warned them that they would be misunderstood, mistreated and persecuted. He also told them they would not be accepted by the world. But most importantly He assured them that they would not be alone! He has given us His Comforter, His Holy Spirit to be with us always! This is why it is so important to know HIS WORD! We can call on the LORD anytime and anywhere! Think about this for a moment; when JESUS left the earth and ascended to Heaven there was not an actual physical Christian Church as far as a building! The disciples and His followers met in homes, they knew then as we should know now that they themselves were the CHURCH! GOD’S CHURCH is universal!
Planning your wedding is one of the most important events of your life. It is a day that you both will forever remember. It will be etched in yor mind! Your wedding should consist of all the things that reflect you. The friends, relatives and love ones who participate are instrumental in making this a great, wonderful festive occasion. The theme, music, invitations, color palate, gown, bridal wear, grooms wear, flowers, decorations, and time of the venue all reflect the ambiance that you want to create as you together celebrate your special day. Regardless as to however large or small it should be a grand, marvelous memorable occasion.
Today weddings vary and are quite different and sometimes diverse. Some elect to have a large reception immediately after the ceremony; some have a small private wedding and then a large or small reception. Going to a remote place, a tropical island, beach side, seashore, valley, garden, and winery or on a mountaintop, or some unusual place, or just having a traditional church wedding is your choice. Others decide to just keep it very quaint private and personal and just have a few close friends and family in attendance. Whatever you do, please do not get so caught up in the wedding plans that you do not take the time to be mindful of one another. Yes it is a special day! A good photographer will capture the essence of your day! Yes it is all important; but so is your relationship!
The point here is whatever you choose to do make sure that your main focus is the marriage itself.
Many marry and have not really taken any time to plan the marriage. What do you mean? They have not taken the time to have a candid open discussion as to what happens after the wedding. It is important to set some priorities! I know that you know this but as you plan the wedding really keep in mind that after the wedding there is a marriage. Where do we go from here…?
Agree upon a budget and exercise some discipline! Picking a theme, a color scheme and a menu that you both like can be a fun adventure! During the course of planning your wedding there will be some moments when you are not on the same page! Some moments when you will disagree as well. This also gives you both the opportunity to see how you respond to pressure as a couple. There will be a time when you will get a lot of suggestions as to what or what not to do! This gives you the opportunity to begin to make the transition into becoming a couple. You are open to discussion but you want to do what makes the both of you happy! This is a great time to help others learn how to respect your wishes and accept you as a couple. I also believe it is a wonderful time to allow the “Bride & Groom” to shine!
There are a lot of resources to help you plan your “Special Day!” I suggest attending some bridal fairs. Be mindful as well when you attend any weddings together. If you have not already started, begin now clipping out suggestions in magazines etc, and having some open discussion as to what you both want ! This gives you the opportunity to gather some ideas as to how and what you would like to see within your wedding to reflect you! I suggest premarital counseling as well! This helps to give you some incite as to what expect once you are actually married!
It is important to build a strong foundation in your marriage. Who, when and how you marry are important! How you plan your apartment, condo or home is a part of marriage. How will you furnish it? What is your style(s)? What is your budget? What career and job decisions you make will be a part of marriage. What are your religious beliefs and convictions? What size or type of family do you both want or do not want will be an important role in your marriage? All the above factor into building a great strong, long lasting fulfilling marriage. All the love, and planning that goes into planning that “Special Day!” Should continue on even more so into the actual marriage itself. So think ahead and plan wisely!
Marriage is for an emotionally mature man and woman who desire to grow together with a spouse as a life partner. The age in which one embarks upon marriage maturity varies greatly. You can be young and ready for marriage. You can also be older and still not be ready for marriage. Marriage is about working together to build the ultimate partnership. It is the ultimate relationship of “oneness.” Marriage is about growing and learning how to love.
Love is one of the most misunderstood emotions, feelings and or state of being. Love does not always feel good nor does it mean that things will always go well. At times you will have to say and do some things that may not be well received by one another because you love them. Yes, at times you will have to chastise one another. When you love one another you should want what is best for the marriage. Love is encouraging healthy boundaries and sharing transparently to build an intimate partnership. Love encompasses being disciplined and making sacrifices. When you truly Love someone you love them for who they are. According to the Word of God, “Love is patient, Love is kind.”
Marriage is wonderful but at times it can be difficult. You are two different individuals who have agreed to learn how to grow together as you share life. At times you will clash. This is why you want to marry someone who will be there for you through the thick and thin. Someone to weather the storms of life with you as well as celebrate the good times. Someone who loves you for you and not for what you do, or for what you have, or what you can do for them.
Many seek ways outside the boundaries of the traditional marriage as we know it in order to fulfill their sexual desires! Many as well are in favor of redefining and changing what constitutes marriage. It is your choice but it is important to know that the only sex that God sanctions is within marriage between a man and a woman! Today we have a myriad of problems that are systemically rooted from improper sexual relationships! What do we do?
We continue to encourage healthier sexual boundaries! There is an exchange that takes places during sexual intercourse that goes much deeper than the physical! Coitus, the technical term for sexual intercourse, was meant to be a time of mutual pleasuring without being ashamed! You are making an emotional and physical deposit! You are giving and sharing the essence of you! At this time within the confines of marriage you become one and strengthen your union! It is at this time you can build physical intimacy! Take time to nurture one another during foreplay! You can share, build, strengthen and fortify one another as you both give from your heart! You reinforce your marriage vows!
Sex is so serious that it is a time that when a man and woman come together they can create a new life! WOW! Now that is really profoundly deep! The human body is amazing! There are healthy benefits available during sexual intimacy! Your stress and blood pressure reduces, it helps in decreasing the chances of prostate cancer, and it also increases the love hormone “oxytocin” which helps to bond and build trust! *“A long-term study of 3,500 people between 30 and 101 by clinical neuropsychologist David Weeks, MD, head of old age psychology at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital in Scotland, found that “sex helps you look between four and seven years younger…”
Don’t just go through the motions and allow sex to become mundane or just a physical exercise. Create a welcoming environment where both of you can experience warmth and satisfaction. Make it a goal to please one another by being cognizant of how one another is feeling! Remember, intercourse has a significant role in bonding! It is like epoxy! When the two sticky resin components come together they generate heat and the two polymers form a permanent bond! They fuse together as the fluids are released and come together! Sexual intercourse is a spiritual moment where the union “Holy Matrimony” is reinforced! You actually enter into the physical depth of your spouse! You give them the essence of who you are… This is also why it is important to not just have sex with just anyone!
If you have allowed your marriage to become commonplace and unexciting make some changes! Begin by enjoying one another daily, hold hands, welcome laughter, have fun by being affectionate, freely give hugs, affirmations and complement one another regularly and appropriately! Caring, gentle expressions of affection do not always mean you want to have intercourse! Recapture the tender moments that brought you together or create some! Don’t waste time, let it pass you by or live in regrets! Each day is a precious gift from the Lord!
If you are single please seriously think about waiting until…! You are valuable and deserve to be loved and respected by someone who is totally committed to you! Please make sure that you take the time to nurture yourself and deal with any unresolved issues! It is natural to desire and want a spouse! To want someone to grow with you! Compromising who you are is not necessary! Trust and emotional intimacy play a major role in a great marriage!
No need to fret over what has already happened! It is important to be mindful if you have been used or abused! Take some time to regenerate and emotionally restore and strengthen yourself! Set some guidelines and goals keeping in mind that you merit a good relationship! Take this time to grow closer to the Lord! Spend some time in His Word! After all He created you! Know that all His Word is true! He has promised to “supply all your needs…” Communication and transparency is a major component of a great marriage! It is important that you share common core values with your potential spouse! Be discerning and in the meantime guard your heart! It may take some time but it will be well worth waiting for your lover and spouse!
If you are already married ENJOY! Celebrate your marriage!
Marriage is the first institution that God designed! Making a sincere commitment to your marriage is one of the most important decisions you can make in life. When God made Adam He made him both male and female. He took Eve out of Adam to be by his side. God is so wonderfully awesome! It was His intention to provide Adam with a compatible helpmeet to satisfy together their desires for companionship. Marriage is the ultimate partnership where two together can spiritually, physically and emotionally have there needs mutually met.
Marriage is a unique covenant agreement. Marriage is ordained by God. God intends for your marriage to last for a lifetime.
Purchase a copy of “Holy Matrimony: Now That We’re Married” to read more!!
God can direct you in your marital relationship. The adversity He allows is to help us build integrity. From this day forward make a sincere attempt to improve your relationship with your spouse. Take a moment and see where you are. Is your relationship headed in the right direction? Ask your self do you really want your relationship to improve?
God really intended for marriage to last for a lifetime. The scriptures clearly tells us “what God has joined together let not man put asunder”! Asunder; means to not let anything pull you apart or separate you. Why do we so very often fail to seek God’s advice when seeking a mate? We instead allow our feelings and emotions to often guide us in a direction that leads to a futile destiny. In our haste for companionship we can often make commitments that really should not be. Many often marry on the rebound. Loneliness and/or rejection can compel one to enter into a relationship too soon! Hurt and pain can hurl you into a relationship to escape rejection and loneliness. Swept away and blinded by an over whelming sometimes even sensual infatuation we fall heart first into marriage. Many will fall prey to what I choose to call temporary or “intoxicating affections”. Its symptoms merely mimic true love! All too often once the blinders come off you find yourself saying “what have I done?”
Purchase your copy of “Holy Matrimony:Now That We’re Married” to read more….