There is HOPE: Addiction Relief is Possible! Part 3

 

Monkeys

 

Step 3 Regular Usage

When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” The substance abuser will now use others in an attempt to satisfy their addiction.  This often leads to a multiplicity of dysfunction on many levels. Satisfying the addiction is often done in secrecy as well as with others. The frequency in which they do so has now escalated and impedes on their day-to-day life.

 

The addiction can still go undetected because they cleverly camouflage or conceal their addiction of choice! As one looks closely the signs are all there. A spouse may not be aware because they can appear normal to a degree. A multiplicity of excuses is rendered when they are questioned? A user will cleverly find ways to satisfy the addiction.  Deception comes along with addiction it can greatly hinder or destroy your marriage and other relationships as well.

Truth, intimacy and trust are important components in building a good strong marriage, and healthy relationships or a family!

 

Step 4 full-blown

Day in and day out the addiction has now taken over. The addict will now do whatever to satisfy his or her obsession. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” It  has completely taken control. Their life cycle is getting, using, doing drugs, alcohol or whatever the addiction is… They are now compulsively spiraling increasingly downhill… Denial and selfishness has become their companion. For many it takes hitting rock bottom before they will admit they need help!

They have indulged themselves to the point that their brain chemistry has changed drastically! Their spiritual aptitude has been suppressed. To attempt to stop means that they will go through a period of painful withdrawal! The high that they used to receive is now an insatiable voracious uncontrollable craving. A mere ferocious “monkey is on their back!” They cannot feel normal unless they are under the influence or indulging in the activity.

 

What really  needs to be “Fixed?”

Not realizing that normal is now far from them. They are consumed by their need to do whatever is necessary to satisfy their addiction. Their family, friends, job, talents, resources are all being destroyed by their inability to control their compulsive need for a fix!

How interesting that they so paradoxically “Need a fix!” What really needs to be fixed is their deep cavernous inner pain… Addiction is a vicious cycle. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” If your spouse, friend or coworker  is in any of these stages it is important to confront them in love. Redemptive confrontation is a way to begin to address whatever the addiction is. Don’t be an enabler. Love does not mean making someone feel comfortable in sin and self indulgence. If not confronted your love one’s life will spiral out of control if in fact that is not the case already.

 

Addiction impacts your marriage and relationships

Marriage is a wonderful relationship. God has created for us to learn how to properly relate to our spouses in every way. It is the ultimate monogamous sacred partner/co-worker relationship! It is through a committed marriage with God as the center one can learn how to overcome their weaknesses. A good marriage can or will keep you from addiction. When addiciton progresses it requires a “FIX!”  Truly GOD is OMNISCIENT! He is the ultimate source of Godly Wisdom. He knew when we were created that we would need Him in all areas of our lives.

 

In a God Centered Marriage He keeps man and woman joined together for life. Ever growing in His wisdom as they both stay connected to Him. A strong marriage takes to whole people. Yet; both realizing with the Lord that “we together become one.” “What God has joined together let not man put asunder.” Within the context of a committed marriage there is power and unity! With the Help of the Lord you can whether the storms of life and emerge Victoriously. MARRIAGE to GOD IS SACRED! It is in fact; HOLY MATRIMONY!

 

Building healthier boundaries

Addiction is a weakness. Drugs, alcohol, cannabis, vaping,  illicit sex, pornography or whatever; are all used to help one to feel good! However as an addict they have no boundaries and they are constantly seeking more ways to alleviate their uncontrollable desires. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!” This only drives them deeper into despair and uncertainty. With the help of the Lord you can overcome addiction. For with God “All things are possible!”

 

When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!”

Marriage was wonderfully designed by God so we could get some of our needs met. There are some needs that can only be met by God! It is important to respect your marriage as well as the marriages of others. God honors marriage. When you honor your marriage you honor God!

A spouse can be a great facilitator in helping the cycle of the dysfunction of addiction being broken! It is difficult because it requires exercising good boundaries. Praying and interceding for your spouse is key as well as seeking and taking direction from the Lord!

 

An Intervention is Really Necessary

An intervention is necessary! Once the addiction has been confronted it is important to seek healthier ways to cope. Remember there are many forms of addiction. It can be an addiction to just about anything. Not everyone has a tendency towards addiction. Yet keep in mind that we all are forever becoming. Therefore we all need to work on improving and increasing our own personal disciplines.

Be compassionate and have empathy but not to the point you further enable them. Be firm and set boundaries. Encourage them to take responsibility for overcoming their addition. They need to own their problem! They need to be active in seeking ways to resolve their addiction. Help by being their and remembering; addiction is a plea for help! Encourage them to discover healthier ways to fill their deep inner void.

There is absolutely nothing in your life that God is not aware of. He Loves you! He wants you to reach out to Him! You can do this wherever you are. Learning to surrender to HIM is very important!

 

How’s Your Relationship with the Lord?

Developing a genuine intimate personal relationship with the Lord will help you begin to better cope! Your need to be under the influence will dissipate. You will become better able to face life and situations soberly. God wants an up close personal relationship with us. Here one must be careful as well. There are those who develop an addiction to religion. When addiciton progresses it requires a “FIX!” They become very religious which also creates a void… It becomes just another escape. This is not the same thing as having a healthy personal intimate relationship with the Lord.

 

It is important to spend time in His Word getting to know Him through His Word. You embrace and implement His Word in your daily life. You do not just merely wrotely learn how to quote it. God’s word becomes embedded within your heart. You begin to grow spiritually. Your inner peace increases. You desire to walk in the Light more. His Holy Spirit brings the Word to the forefront of your mind to HELP you sin less. Here you can discover what life is really all about. Here you can discover your purpose and the Freedom God wants for you.

 

Your indentity without the Addiction

One must seek to discover who they are without the addiction. To nurture the inner child that wants it’s way at all cost. To learn to better exercise self-control! Now that this is out in the open the addiction is exposed! This is what the road to recovery is all about. One must begin to monitor their feelings to see what triggers their desires. What is the root cause of them losing themselves into addiction? How do I begin to move from the addiction being the center of my life? God does have a better way!

There is a way out of addiction. When addiction progresses it requires a “FIX!”  Focusing now on your spouse’s strengths is very important. Give them encouragement without being controlling or manipulating. Pray for them and give them to the Lord. No you don’t abandon them. However you no longer do for them what they should be doing for themselves. This helps them find their way back to becoming responsible and reliable! Encouraging them to allow the “JOY of the LORD to be their strength”. God wants to be the center of your life. “Jesus came that you might have life and has it to the full.” John 10.

Next we will discuss some of the causes of addiction!
See Part 4

There is Hope; Addiction Relief is Possible Part 1

 

 

 

Part 1

Addiction relief is possible. Few want to readily openly discuss addiction.  But since there has been such an overwhelming influx of problems worldwide related to addiction it warrants the spotlight.   But, there are reasons for alarm when an addiction is apparent. This  needs to be addressed. It will not just go away.  If not it will at some point impede upon your relationship.

 

Monkeys

 

Transparency is necessary in order to build intimacy. Your addiction will inhibit intimacy developing within your marriage. The addiction also prohibits you from being transparent. Love, transparency, trust and intimacy are essential components in building a healthy safe satisfying marriage.

 

Your Addiction says you are hurting

A clear indicator that you are hurting is addiction. You have simply found an unhealthy way to cope with your deep pain. Your addiction can be to alcohol, cocaine, heroin, marijuana.  Uppers, downers, prescription drugs, gambling, caffeine, pornography and or  illicit sex.  People food and even shopping. Yes and there are more… Even wanting approval from others can be addicting. Guess what? You have only found a way to momentarily relieve or somewhat ease your infuriating inner pain; it is still there. The addiction is a flag that something is wrong. You need to seek a healthy resolve.  Addiction relief is possible.

 

I say momentarily because while under the influence or indulging in the activity of choice you are able to somewhat escape. However the systemic cause remains because the pain returns whenever you are alone. Often more vehement than ever before. This causes you to pursue passionately that which you are addicted to. Having an addiction of any kind is serious. Many can be life threatening because you are out of control. Your desires consume you and disables your ability to be responsible or demonstrate  contol.  The ability to genuinely  love is questionable. Instead the activity controls you and you will do whatever it takes to get a “quick fix!”

 

The misuse  and dependency  upon opiates has become of great concern worlwide.  Not everyone becomes addicted from  illegal drugs.  Many have become addicted through the use of prescriptions medications. This should not be. This will greatly impact your spouse, children,  home, work  and career.

 

How does this impact my marriage?

Good question. Marriage is a partnership and when one has an addiction they are not able to fully commit because the addiction is often their main priority.  Well, the spouse that is unaware is often kept in the dark. Secrets, lies and deception accompany addiction. The addiction is used to fill the insatiable void in the addicted partner’s heart. It instead becomes their companion. This leaves their spouse out in the cold. Know, addiction relief is possible.

 

Your addiction creates undo tension. You need to learn to communicate openly and honeestly with your spouse.  Afterall you are supposed to be one.  Your addiction is robbinh you of building a beter relationship.

 

Causes or addiction triggers

A disordered family, peer pressure, cultural influences, abuse, incest, rape, molestation, lack of self-esteem and a weakness to experiment can all contribute to one developing an addiction.

 

We live in a drug friendly worldly environment. Daily we are bombarded with the invitation to take this pill or that pill. Notice how many television commercials attempt to sell you something to feel better.  Look how the dinner hour has become the prime time for what I call  commercial pushers. There are a multiplicity of pushers of all sort. Doctors also oblige patients with tranquilizers, stimulants, pain pills, sleeping pills even pills to wake you up!

 

Commitment in marriage is important

Keeping your commitments are important.  Embracing your vows is important.  Did you not commit to Him as well?  One thing that needs to be promoted more is a personal relationship with the Lord! Marriage is ordained by God. Did you know marriage was designed to be the ultimate sacred relationship between a man and a woman.  A strong marraige  can also help you prioritize life and put all your other relationships into their proper perspective.  Your marriage  can help you develop a healthier living environment as you work together

 

Building trust is an important part of marriage. Addiction relief is possible. 

 

As we commit to building healthier home environments we contribute to lessening the number of addictions continuing to escalate.   Not everyone has addiction issues.  In some  addictions have unconsciously been passed down through generations.   A safe home environment does not  always exclude addiction; but it does serve to nurture those who are there.   If this has been the case the possibility to break the generational cycle of dysfunction becomes attainable. You can change this! Yes, addiction relief is possible.

 

Develping a Healthy Support System

It is important to seek ways to validate one another. To develop an ongoing healthy support system that says I love and sincerely care. No this does not mean you support the addiction.   Neither do you allow it to become  the white elephant in the room no one notices.  However, you must confront the addiction.  You  can also find healthy ways to make them feel  uncomfortable. Also learn to separate the behavior from the person.  Encourage them to be the best they can be. Find ways to help them become who they were created to be without the addiction.

 

Working together

God created each of us uniquely and we have varying temperaments. Our needs are different when these needs are not met a void is created and therefore one seeks to often erroneously fill that void. Marriage is about working together to find healthier ways to fill some of those voids with a committed partner… There are some voids that can only be filled by God.

Your partner is not responsible for your addiction you are. Both must hold one another accountable for their actions! You both are accountable to God for the vows you made… Remember, “for better or for worse…”

In this 21st century emotional gasoline has flamed the fires of addiction. Pain, grief and stress not dealt with properly are great contributors that drive unhealthy desires. This does not have to be. God’s Holy Spirit His Comforter is more than able.

Addiction is big business therefore it is often rationalized and one can easily find access and support. Your addiction does not usually happen overnight it is a gradual process that begins with a series of steps…  So remember; theis help.  Addiction relief is possible!

Next we will discuss some of those steps;

Part 2

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