What Does It Mean To “Love” ?

What does it mean to love someone? Does it mean you give them everything they want? Does it mean letting someone run over you? Does it mean you tell them what they want to hear? Does it mean you never make them angry? Does love ever end? Webster defines love in this way; strong affection for another based on kinship ties. Example: maternal love for a child. Attraction based on sexual desire. Admiration or benevolence. Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion. A beloved person: Darling. Brotherly concern for others. To hold dear. To feel a lover’s passion, devotion, or tenderness. An unselfish concern of God for man. The scriptures tell us that “God is Love.” Tell me can you really truly love someone and not know God? Or better yet to the degree you know God; does it help you love in a profound way? According to I Corinthians LOVE…is PATIENT…is KIND…does not ENVY… does not BOAST… Is not PROUD…is not SELFISH. Keeps no record of wrong doings…does not DELIGHT in EVIL…but REJOICES in TRUTH. Always protects. Always TRUSTS. Always HOPES. Always PERSEVERES. Does your definition of love encompass Biblical principles?

I have found that love is a term that many people use loosely. If you listen clearly they usually base love on doing or not doing something for them. Love is not giving someone what they want. Love is not letting people run over you. Love is not telling people what they want to hear. If you love them you will speak the truth in love. Just know when you truly love people they will get angry with you sometimes! Their perspective of you will modify. You are no longer the kind wonderful person that they thought you were. All of a sudden you will be perceived as being cold, uncaring, and selfish. They will accuse you of not really loving them when you don’t give them what they want. Don’t fret! God knows your heart. In the meantime pray for them. Begin to practice healthy boundaries with them.

There are many angry people who will chew you out at the drop of a hat. They have oodles of pent up unresolved anger. Cancer, high blood pressure, eating disorders, temper tantrums and depression are just a few results of stored anger. It’s okay for them to have a tantrum. But you are expected to appease them. Anger is natural. Encourage them to find healthy ways to express their anger. Suppressing anger is unhealthy. Just know it takes more control to not respond than to throw a fit. Did you know you can be angry and sin not?

By the way you must let go of some people you love. I am not talking about letting go like in divorce. Divorce occurs because two adults are not able to work through whatever problems they are experiencing. They are not able to keep the commitment they made to each other for whatever reason. Often this is because they really didn’t think things through first. Many couples are unaware of the necessary tenacity for an enduring marriage. (But that’s another column). When I say letting go I mean putting them in hands of the Lord. Allow Him to intervene. There are those who just enjoy a habitat of tension and confusion. Did you know you could break unhealthy cycles by employing better ways to resolve conflict? Avoiding conflict is not healthy. Allowing a cooling off period before discussing the problem may be helpful. Words spoken in a fit of anger can be very damaging. Letting go and allowing them space to feel the consequences for their actions can be beneficial to their spiritual maturity.

The world is a very inconsistent place. God’s standards are not respected nor appreciated. God must be the central focus of your life for true successful living. The prophets pleaded over and over with God’s people to return to his principles. God wants to be first in your life. God has instructed us to; “Hear O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord. And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thine soul, and with all thine might. And thou shalt teach them diligently unto they children and talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest……. (Deuteronomy 6) God loves us and is faithful. His WORD is true.

< God always allows you to choose. It is the unselfish concern of God for man that explains love in a nutshell. God loved us so much that He gave His only begotten Son to die for us. To redeem us from the power of sin. In order to free us from sin's captivity. He laid down His life for us! There is no greater love than this? Does grace give us the right to willfully sin? God forbid! Out of spiritual ignorance we support all the wrong things in people. We literally "love them to death". When they are six feet under we cry, rant, rave and shout. But why wait until it's to late? Why do we allow people we say we care about to slowly die little by little right before our faces? Why not do something while the blood is still running warm in their veins? It's because we don't want to hurt their feelings. Right! We don't want to hurt their feelings but what about hurting their life? We prefer to take away their motivation to change by comforting them in sin. Motive is always key in whatever you do. Some people have been loved so wrong for so long they can't recognize true love. We can not change anybody. But we can stop supporting what we know is wrong. Some thing's will just not be understood on this side of heaven! Believe it or not God does not support wrong! I don't care if you have two or two thousand or two million people to support you if it's wrong it's wrong. No one is above reproach. Just try reading Jeremiah. Look at what obedience and love he had for God and His principles! For over 40 years he pleaded with Israel. They ignored a great opportunity for spiritual, moral and ethical maturity. They still chose to justify their sins. Did you know that they did not repent in Jeremiah's time? I wonder if they thought Jeremiah was too negative and needed a personality adjustment? Just imagine the rejection and ridicule he received for taking a stance against sin! Jeremiah didn't just talk the talk. He walked it! He was steadfast! God is about freedom! Sin is a slavemaster. Did you know that it is easier for many to believe a lie rather than believe the truth? God is a Spirit of Truth. "They that worship Him must worship Him in Spirit and in Truth"! God will bless and keep you in any and all circumstances. Remember GOD is Love! God is eternal! "Stand fast in the liberty that Christ has set you free and be not entangled with a yoke of bondage! Sin is bondage. The Love, freedom, and security that God provides is priceless! Get off the broad road. Discover that narrow road that only a few find. Commit to making a conscious effort to sin less and love with Godly Love! HALLELUJAH! “Love Is Patient, Love Is Kind. Love is felt most when it’s Genuine”.

Song of Solomon – A Case Study on Purity and Passion

February 14, 2010 by  
Filed under Marriage & Relationships

In a healthy marriage you are friends as well as lovers

SONG of SOLOMON Case study in PURITY & PASSION

This is one of the most loving, romantic and poetic Books found in the Old Testament of the Bible! Did you know that some of the most passionate “Love Songs” dating back to ancient Hebrew times were written by King Solomon? It was originally called and still is at times known as ” Song Of Songs”! Well after all he had (700) seven hundred wives and (300) three hundred concubines! If you ever want to hear some passionate love songs or romantic poetry look no more; The Song of Solomon is the perfect venue! The Key verse: “I am my Lover’s and my Lover is mine; he browses among the lilies.”

God who is LOVE is amazingly AWESOME! If you want some Sweet Some Things” to read to each other this is the place! Now whoever said that The Word could not be sung? This Book is indeed filled with melodic romantic prose! In The Song of Solomon, King Solomon candidly speaks of love between a bridegroom and a bride! The sanctity of marriage is affirmed as well as a brilliant illustration of the Love God has for His people!

The world in which we live is saturated by the news media with tales of sexual escapades, sexual freedom, extramarital affairs, homosexuality and secret rendezvous of the rich and famous celebrities as well as politicians! Divorce is raging a battle against marriage! Any and just about everything goes … This is also attempting to take a stronghold on God’s Church! Many say you have to accept me as I am regardless of my sexual preferences because unconditional love says so? We are to love people not the sin! Sin is anything that separates us from God! God determines what is or is not sinful!

Did you know that sex originated in the Bible? Yes, It was created by God! How did sex ever become such a dirty word? Man tends to always pervert what God has made for good! The world tries to redefine marriage to suit whomever… It has been twisted and turned upside down by too many! Sex for some is a no strings attached, or just a wild activity of lust void of commitment and a mere wild expressed bodily exercise! In this case you are just giving away a part of you to an uncommitted partner…

It was really meant to be a holy union celebrating the “two becoming one”It is the closest form of body language that one can physically express to another; I Love you! The Word says; And Adam said : This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become ONE flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.” Everything God made is good! It is when sex is practiced outside of the boundaries of marriage, not as He intended things begin to get complicated… Having sex is not bad or dirty. Sex was made for mutuality between husband and wife, each has a responsibility to one another! Celebrating love, experiencing one another in a pleasurable way, producing children and bonding together is all sanctioned by God within HOLY MATRIMONY!

If you did not know it, there is a lot going on regarding sex in the Bible! The Word talks explicitly about the consequences of “sex outside of marriage.” The world says no problem! “Go for it.” Remember; “Think fire out of the fireplace!” It’s possible but dangerous! The Song of Solomon is a poignant, emotional, moving poetic drama about love. In intimate details King Solomon bears his soul to his lover and she to him. Here is a wonderful illustration that is often over looked putting sex and marriage in its proper place.

Although some even say it is a story of God’s love for the children of Israel being expressed in an Allegory? Others say it is a story of married love. But really it is both! God Loves us! He wants what is best for us! He does not want us ignorant in anyway. It is so good to know that we are saved by His GRACE! As you read consider thinking on this fact that GOD IS LOVE! You cannot turn back the hands of time. But you can go forward in the Lord! It is never too late to start living His way! “All have sinned and fallen short of the GLORY of GOD!”

As you stroll through the corridors of “The Song of Solomon” remember GOD LOVES YOU! Seriously think about committing or recommitting to living your life His way? Think about inviting Him into the messiness and allowing Him to show you and guide you. Through the gift of His Holy Spirit He can show you how to bring order, peace, patience, kindness, self control, happiness, joy and so much more to your marriage! You also have His Blessings on your marriage bed!

Love physically expressed is powerful between a husband and wife! It can be a conscious time to solidify your marriage and honor your vows! This allows your inner beauty to glow and shine forth, sensitivity and sincerity encompasses mutual fulfillment! Keep the romance going by adding embers to the flame of your marriage! Although it began at the altar it should continue on day by day! This helps to keep emotional walls from erecting that can become barriers in your marriage! Time is so precious. Tomorrow is not promised! Make sure you take time to nurture one another! The Song of Solomon honors marriage!

Let us sample a taste of what Solomon shares. This is from The Beloved!

“Let him Kiss me with the Kisses of his mouth

For your love is more delightful than wine.

Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;

Your name is like perfume poured out.

No wonder the maidens Love you!

Take me away with you, let us hurry!

Let the king bring me into his chambers…”

Solomon was the son of King David, he was chosen by God to build the Temple in Jerusalem. Solomon had bestowed upon him an extraordinary gift of wisdom. He wrote over (3,000) three thousand proverbs and (1,000) one thousand songs! The Song Of Solomon itself contains (7) seven poems! It gives a descriptive account about how they met. The engagement, the wedding and the procession, the actual wedding night as well as the marriage itself!

This refreshing romantic Book describes Solomon’s love for his bride in a way that captivates the refreshing and invigorating qualities that love brings forth! Although life can become very difficult at times; Marriage was meant to provide a committed partner to weather the storms of life! Your marriage should not consist of only major complaints, sorrows and problems. Nor should there be any physical, mental or emotional abuse! This is not what God intended! If your marriage needs to be refreshed, I pray this inspires you! Marriage should be a place where ultimate transparency, physical mutually satisfying intimacy between husband and wife can be shared! Coming together should be a time to lock all the trappings and disappointments of life out and invite in refreshing, excitement and reinforcing the cherished memories that brought you together!

The Song of Solomon says: “How beautiful are your sandaled feet, O princes daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman’s hands. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Hesborn by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking towards Damascus. Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. How beautiful you are and how pleasing. O LOVE with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit …”

As you mature your marriage should as well. It should age gracefully like a fine antique; they become more cherished and valuable with age. Cultures vary in their perceptions of lovemaking. There are some cultures that teach and encourage enhancing the physical lovemaking within marriage. There is a freedom that emerges when the couple together make their physical intimacy a priority. You become like “Epoxy” glue. Once the two components come together it is virtually impossible to separate! Love between a man and woman is priceless. Remember “GOD IS LOVE” and true love was meant to last through forever! It is not the same as what I call “Intoxicating Affections” that only mimic true love they do not last; but at some point will leave a residue of resentment! The key components of a great marriage is love, trust, mutual respect, understanding, devotion and commitment. When you say “I DO!” Remember, Loving committed marriages reflect God not domination and control! Your marriage should be a reflection of “How much you Love the Lord!” Remember no longer two but ONE. “What GOD has joined together let not man put asunder!” I hope you enjoy “THE SONG OF SOLOMON”!!!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, Life Coach and ordained Minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” her second book is “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married” DeBorrah is eager to share and encourage all ages, her third book and first Christian Fiction Novel is appropriate for ages 10 – 110. It is “The Enchanting Legends of Shiloh Mansion: The Young King. DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published.

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