Marriage and Addiction Relief Part 5

Marriage & Addiction

Monkeys
Part 5

How drugs affect our bodies and your marriage?

Drug abuse continues to escalate. It is taking its casualties all over the world! Drugs change the natural chemistry of the human body. Drugs for some are necessary therapeutic medicinal healing aids to facilitate improving ones health. For millions of people they help to sustain a certain quality of life. Diabetes, heart disease, cancer, infections, viruses, broken bones, sprains, pain and arthritis are just a few of the plethora of ailments that are usually controlled by drugs. In these cases they are usually necessary and beneficial.

Doctors treat many illnesses, diseases and conditions with medical drugs every day! Drugs may be swallowed, injected, inhaled or sniffed. There are legitimate as well as illegitimate uses for drugs. One can become addicted in both cases. The use of drugs illegally is far more dangerous. When one has a spouse who engages in drugs it is much harder to establish intimacy. Their need for drugs is more important than their need to be emotionally available.

It is not wise to use drugs that are not personally prescribed for you nor those purchased illegally. Drugs alter the chemistry of the brain and make you feel different. A physician takes into consideration your current health status, your weight and symptoms when prescribing a prescription. The more you use drugs the more your brain chemistry becomes altered.

When a person becomes addicted they are out of control. The drug or behavior of choice now has taken over and the desire to “fix” the way they are feeling takes priority over everything! They will quite often do whatever is necessary just to “feel good.” This is why it is so important to be under the care of a trained physician who knows how to properly prescribe the proper medication to address any physical or mental ailments. Even under the care of a qualified doctor one can still become chemically dependent and addicted to drugs.

Pain is real! The addict is in pain and has lost their ability to cope with reality unless they are under the influence. They have developed an unhealthy habit and desire to experience a level of pleasure and/or the need to escape from reality. Life can be difficult and often people are thrust in to situations and terrible living conditions that are unbearable. Childhood trauma and cumulative issues not dealt with fester and cause emotional pain. People often carry many unresolved issues into their relationships… This can forbid them from being transparent. The marriage then often suffers from neglect and lack of intimacy. This causes much conflict within he marriage. The spouse with the addiction is often emotionally unavailable. It is important to seek viable help.

To some marriage is a game rather than a sacred union. Rather than being responsible the addicted spouse is selfish. A secondary marriage addiction example. There was a man in the Sacramento area who was arrested for participating in numerous marriage unions. He also arranged as many 39 bogus marriages for others for which he profited for a fee at the expense of others unhappiness. It is important to take time to get to know who you are marrying… This man’s selfish deceptive actions hurt many people. He had no intention of making a virtuous commitment. It is evident that he had an unhealthy addiction to the idea of marriage.

Trust can be shattered like a glass vase. Leaving one traumatized! Trust can erode when one is not attentive to the needs of their spouse creating an abyss. Marriage is about coming together and building a great partnership. It can be tedious regaining trust again but it is possible. It is always important to be honest about your pain and how you are feeling. Disillusioned by a break in trust usually leaves the spouse empty and needy. Which also makes them vulnerable… Building or establishing an ongoing relationship with the Lord will build a stronger foundation that will help to keep you anchored! God is available 24/7! God is true to His Word! “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight!” Proverbs 3.

Sexual addiction is quite threatening to a marriage. It is an intimacy problem. Millions of people in the US suffer from sexual addictions. The person with a sexual addiction has a hard time connecting to and making a monogamous commitment. They are caught up in a vicious cycle of having their own needs met at any cost. The spouse’s needs are usually ignored and neglected due to the spouses self-indulgence. Addiction that is not addressed will not just go away. Restoration is a choice; it takes a lot of work but it is possible.

Godly counsel and much time spent in fervent prayer are needed along with a necessary redemptive confrontation. The confrontation means I care enough to “speak the Truth in Love.” Confrontation brings the issues to the forefront. It is important that the issues are then addressed immediately. Keep it real! If you or your spouse has an addiction of any kind; Please DO NOT delay seeking help. The longer you wait the harder it is to make the necessary lifestyle and environment changes. A couple that has a strong healthy marriage bond can be a great mentor and a source of encouragement.

You have vowed to be there for one another for better or for worse? Take care of yourself and make it a point to look your best. If you are reading this and you are single. Start dealing with your issues now before you commit to marry. When you marry someone with an addiction you have married their addiction. You get a somewhat superficial façade of who they area. Such as how they cope when not under the influence. It is important to know that a good strong marriage is built on TRUST! If necessary recommit to your vows and start anew.

Now let’s get busy moving forward building better, stronger, satisfying, trusting enduring marriages! Be encouraged A great marriage (without addiction) is truly still possible!

Marriage and Addiction Relief Part 4

Marriage & Addiction
Monkeys
Part 4

Causes of Addiction

When you feel good your brain releases a neurotransmitter that reaches a receptor. This is what tells you to feel good. The limbic system is the center where our feelings originate. It is activated by our brains. Drugs that affect the brain are called psycho active because they are mood altering. This is why one refers to being under the influence as being “high!” However after prolonged use the brain chemistry becomes altered and adjusts. It gradually takes more in order to achieve a “high!” The more one uses, the more they begin to crave, the more they use. Guess what? This begins the perilous road to addiction. So now we have a vicious self-destructive cycle that needs to be broken!

Addiction affects not only the mind but the body and spirit as well. Addiction takes on many forms. When addiction involves, overeating, caffeine, nicotine, gambling, promiscuity, shopping, workaholic, cultish religion, exercise and hobbies. Society has a tendency to accept the above addictions a tad more. An addiction can also be of a sexual nature. There are serious consequences when one becomes addicted! The addiction itself is a symptom of an underlying unresolved issue. Which is really “A plea for help!”

Emotional pain that is suppressed and has not been properly addressed is often the root cause. One who has low self-esteem lacking coping skill will sometimes turn to drugs. Someone who has been abused or molested will turn to drugs. Domestic violence can cause someone to turn to drugs. Someone who has been abandoned will turn to drugs. Someone who is grieving a loss or grieving may turn to drugs. One who may have been injured in a fall or accident and is prescribed pain medication can also become addicted! They often use the injury to rationalize the addiction. There is a plethora of reasons for addiction…

Finding better ways to cope is crucial. One must come out of denial and take ownership of their behavior. When an addiction becomes full-blown it affects everyone involved. For instance cigarette smoke impacts others as they breathe in the secondary smoke. It also results in low birth weight in babies whose mother’s continue to smoke. It has now become clear that cigarette smoking causes cancer therefore smoking has been banned in many public buildings, restaurants and places… After many years of smoking cigarettes it can result in health complications as well as cancer that can eventually cause death. What is so very interesting the number of people who continue to smoke anyway knowing that smoking is not good for their health! This is also due to the fact that smoking has been socially accepted to a large degree making it easier for the addiction to persist!

Drugs usually makes one feel good. This in itself makes it hard for the addict to simply just say “NO!” Their feelings dictate their behavior and mental acuity. Due to their lack of self-discipline they usually succumb! The addictive drug user seeks the euphoria that the drugs or smoking provides over all else at the expense of their health and wellbeing. Momentarily they are able to escape and numb their inner pain.

Addiction affects, mind, body and soul. The reasons why people become addicted are complex, vast and each individual is different. Addiction is being out of control and accompanied with compulsive behaviors. Addiction does not mean that the person is bad. It is important to separate their behavior from who they are. Next we will discuss; some of the ways drugs affect you body!

Part 5

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