Marriage and Addiction Relief Part 5

Marriage & Addiction

Monkeys
Part 5

How drugs affect your bodies and your marriage?

Drug abuse continues to escalate. Addiction is real! It is taking its casualties all over the world. Drugs change the natural chemistry of the human body. Drugs for some are necessary therapeutic medicinal healing aids to facilitate improving ones health. For millions of people they help to sustain a certain quality of life. Diabetes, heart disease, cancer, infections, viruses, broken bones, sprains, pain and arthritis are just a few of the plethora of ailments that are usually controlled by drugs. In these cases they are usually necessary and beneficial.

Doctors treat many illnesses, diseases and conditions with medical drugs every day! Drugs may be chewed, swallowed, injected, inhaled or sniffed. There are legitimate as well as illegitimate uses for drugs. One can become addicted in both cases. The use of drugs illegally is far more dangerous. When one has a spouse who engages in drugs and or alcohol it is much harder to establish intimacy. Their need for drugs and drinking is more important than their need to be emotionally available.

It is not wise to use drugs that are not personally prescribed for you nor those purchased illegally. Drugs alter the chemistry of the brain and make you feel different. A physician takes into consideration your current health status, your weight and symptoms when prescribing a prescription. The more you use drugs the more your brain chemistry becomes altered.

You are out of control!

When a person becomes addicted they are out of control. The drug or behavior of choice now has taken over and the desire to “fix” the way they are feeling takes priority over everything! They are no doubt self-centered and will quite often do whatever is necessary just to “feel good.” This is why it is so important to be under the care of a trained physician who knows how to properly prescribe the proper medication to address any physical or mental ailments if you have no self-control. Even under the care of a qualified doctor one can still become chemically dependent and addicted to drugs.

Pain is real!

The addict is in pain and has lost their ability to cope with reality unless they are under the influence. Drugs and or alcohol have become the priority! They have developed an unhealthy habit and desire to experience a level of pleasure and/or the need to escape from reality. Life can be difficult and often people are thrust into situations and terrible living conditions that are unbearable. Childhood trauma and cumulative issues not dealt with fester and cause emotional pain. People often carry many unresolved issues into their relationships… This can forbid them from being transparent. This can also hinder them from maturing. The marriage then often suffers from neglect and lack of intimacy. This causes much conflict within he marriage. The spouse with the addiction is often emotionally unavailable. It is important to seek viable help.

Your marriage should be a priority

To some marriage is a game rather than a sacred union. Rather than being responsible the addicted spouse is selfish. A secondary marriage addiction example. I was the Sacramento Marriage Examiner for many years… There was a man in the area who was arrested for participating in numerous marriage unions. He also arranged as many as 39 bogus marriages for others for which he profited for a fee at the expense of others unhappiness. This was not good it is a total disregard for moral principles. This was a selfish abusive pattern in operation. Marriage is supposed to be sacred. It is important to take time to get to know who you are marrying… This man’s selfish deceptive actions hurt many people. He had no intention of making a virtuous commitment. It is evident that he had an unhealthy addiction to the idea of marriage and fulfilling his own desires.

The basis of a good healthy relationship is trust

Trust can be shattered like a glass vase. Leaving one traumatized! Trust can erode when one is not attentive to the needs of their spouse creating an abyss. Marriage is about coming together and building a great partnership. Affair proof your marriage. Keep God in the center of your marriage! It can be tedious regaining trust again but it is possible. It is always important to be honest about your pain and however you are feeling. Disillusioned by a break in trust usually leaves the spouse empty and needy. Which also makes them vulnerable… Building or establishing an ongoing relationship with the Lord will build a stronger foundation that will help to keep you anchored. God is available 24/7! God is true to His Word! “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight!” Proverbs 3.

Sexual Addiction

Sexual addiction is quite threatening to a marriage. It is an intimacy problem. Millions of people in the US suffer from sexual addictions. The person with a sexual addiction has a hard time connecting to and making a monogamous commitment. They are caught up in a vicious cycle of having their own needs met at any cost. The spouse’s needs are usually ignored and neglected due to the spouses self-indulgence. It is important to keep and maintain healthy boundaries in your marriage. Respect your marriage as well as the marriages of others. Stop giving yourself away. This should NOT be. Don’t just connect to anything or anybody. You should learn to be happy by yourself before you think that you can be happy with your spouse. Revisit your vows don’t let them become mere words. Remember; You both committed not only to your one another but to GOD!

Addiction that is not addressed will not just go away. REPENT! Commit or recommit to God and your spouse. Tell them you need HELP! Tell them you are sincerely sorry. If you are not truly sorry you will repeatedly fall into a pattern of addiction. Restoration is a choice; it takes a lot of work but it is possible. You will have to build a new relationship with a strong foundation of transparency and trust. With the HELP of the Lord; You can come forth from the fire of addiction like pure gold!

You need HELP!

Godly counsel and much time spent in fervent prayer are needed along with a necessary redemptive confrontation. The confrontation means I care enough to “speak the Truth in Love.” Confrontation brings the issues to the forefront. You must be willing to face your demons. Demons meaning the supernatural malevolent influences that have held you captive to do harm to your mind-body and soul. They keep you in a daily battle to control your destiny. This does not have to be. There is NO power stronger than GOD!

This has caused you to hurt those around you as well. They have suffered greatly. Although through a lot of it you were somewhat unconscious; start by apologizing for your behavior. Yes you were under the influence. It is important that the issues are then addressed immediately. Keep it real! If you or your spouse has an addiction of any kind; Please DO NOT delay seeking help. The longer you wait the harder it is to make the necessary lifestyle and environment changes. You can be delivered! You must want to break free! A couple that has a strong healthy marriage bond can be a great mentor and a source of encouragement. The TRUTH always prevails!

You have vowed to be there for one another for better or for worse? Begin to Take care of yourself and make it a point to look your best. Not just in a superficial way. But to discipline yourself to take better care of your body that houses your soul. Don’t just look good but be or get in a good place emotionally… Embrace moral principles. If you are reading this and you are single. Start dealing with your issues now before you commit to marry. When you marry someone with an addiction you have married their addiction. You get a somewhat superficial façade of who they really are. Such as how they cope when not under the influence. Well usually they don’t. They usually become annoying, impatient and cantankerous It is important to know that a good strong marriage is built on TRUST! If necessary recommit to your vows and start anew.

God can heal any addiction!

The road to recovery and healing will be tedious. There are some who make up their mind and are done with the dysfunctional cycle. They readily hold fast to their dedication to take back control of their life. Others vary some taking longer than others yet, dedicated to changing. Stop making excuses and make it a goal to recapture your self-respect dignity and integrity. You can change but it is your choice. Reach daily for self-control!

Congratulations you are on the right road now! It is called “Straight and Narrow!”

Now let’s get busy moving forward building better, stronger, satisfying, trusting enduring relationships and marriages! Be encouraged to become the “Best You!” Stay on the straight and narrow. “PRAY without ceasing” all throughout your day. This is what keeps us connected to the Lord! This is also how you build a “Solid Rock” intimate relationship with the Lord! Know that Great Healthy Relationships and Great Marriages (without addiction) are truly still possible! GOD IS MORE THAN ABLE!

Marriage and Addiction Relief Part 4

Marriage & Addiction
Monkeys
Part 4

Causes of Addiction

Addiction makes you want to feel good. The limbic system is the center where our feelings originate. It is activated by our brains. When you feel good your brain releases a neurotransmitter that reaches a receptor. This is what tells you to feel good. Drugs that affect the brain are called psycho active because they are mood altering. This is why one refers to being under the influence as being “high!” However after prolonged use the brain chemistry becomes altered and adjusts. It gradually takes more in order to achieve a “high!” The more one uses, the more they begin to crave, the more they use. Guess what? This begins the perilous road to addiction. So now we have a vicious self-destructive cycle that needs to be broken!

Addiction affects not only the mind but the body and spirit as well. Addiction takes on many forms. When addiction involves, overeating, caffeine, nicotine, gambling, promiscuity, shopping, workaholic, cultish religion, exercise and hobbies, it is very important to seek resolve. Society has a tendency to accept the above addictions a tad more. An addiction can also be of a sexual nature. You should make it a goal to learn how to train your impulsiveness. Seek to let nothing or no one control you. There are serious consequences when one becomes addicted! The addiction itself is a symptom of an underlying unresolved issue. Which is really “A plea for help!”

Emotional pain that is suppressed and has not been properly addressed is often the root cause. One who has low self-esteem lacking coping skill will sometimes turn to drugs. Someone who has been abused or molested will turn to drugs. Domestic violence can cause someone to turn to drugs. Someone who has been abandoned will turn to drugs. Someone who is grieving a loss or grieving may turn to drugs. One who may have been injured in a fall or accident and is prescribed pain medication can also become addicted! They often use the injury to rationalize the addiction. There is a plethora of reasons for addiction…

Finding better ways to cope is crucial. One must come out of denial and take ownership of their behavior. When an addiction becomes full-blown it affects everyone involved.Finding better ways to cope is crucial. One must come out of denial and take ownership of their behavior. When an addiction becomes full-blown it affects everyone involved. For instance cigarette smoke impacts others as they breathe in the secondary smoke. It also results in low birth weight in babies whose mother’s continue to smoke. It has now become clear that cigarette smoking causes cancer therefore smoking has been banned in many public buildings, restaurants and places… After many years of smoking cigarettes it can result in health complications as well as cancer that can eventually cause death. What is so very interesting the number of people who continue to smoke anyway knowing that smoking is not good for their health! This is also due to the fact that smoking has been socially accepted to a large degree making it easier for the addiction to persist!

Drugs usually makes one feel good. This in itself makes it hard for the addict to simply just say “NO!” Their feelings dictate their behavior and mental acuity. Due to their lack of self-discipline they usually succumb! The addictive drug user seeks the euphoria that the drugs or smoking provides over all else at the expense of their health and wellbeing. Momentarily they are able to escape and numb their inner pain.

You can actually feel good or learn how to feel good without the use of any substance. This is another reason an intimate personal close relationship with the Lord is so very important. God is our Creator. He really does know what is best for each of us. He wants to manifest and multiply the Fruit of His Spirit within us. Self control is part of His Fruit. God can Heal your mind, body & soul.

Addiction affects, mind, body and soul. The multiplicity of reasons why people become addicted are complex, vast and each individual is different. Addiction is being out of control and accompanied with compulsive behaviors. Addiction does not mean that the person is bad. It is important to separate their behavior from who they are. It is important to not make them feel comfortable in their addiction. Next we will discuss; some of the ways drugs affect you body!

Part 5

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