Why most marriages don’t last! Part 3

February 11, 2016 by  
Filed under Marriage & Relationships

Why most marriages don’t last?

What Is Love ?

Part 3

You can build a strong loving marriage. Working together is key to your happiness. You both have the power to make a fulfilling union. Compassion will help you mutually bond immensely. For your marriage to last it must remain a top priority to both of you.

You are considering getting married? Wow how exciting! You want to make sure you start by building a strong solid foundation. Love, trust, respect and loyalty are a must. They will solidify your union. Your marriage will be what you both make it. It is important to know; many marriages in this 21st century don’t last.

A few things to think about.

Please don’t go into the marriage thinking that you will be able to change each other. There are many resources available when planning your big day. But few think about resources to maintain and build your marriage. For those of you who have never been married before, you must allow for a period of adjustment once married. Living with someone is not the same as dating or being married. The difference is you have not really made a total commitment to one another. You both realize that you can simply opt out at any time…

 

Commit to always treat one another with respect. After the honeymoon period is over remain patient.  Whenever you hit a kink see this as an opportunity to take your marriage to a deeper level. Don’t allow issues that crop up to fester and become sour. Think before you fly of the handle and say something you will regret. It is during this time you need to work together rather than pull farther apart. Don’t take one another for granted. Make it a point to keep you marriage exciting.

A great marriage takes two committed spouses
 

If you have not married; please do not manipulate your potential spouse into a relationship. If you do it will be an ongoing dynamic in your relationship. You should genuinely care for this person and desire to grow together. You want to encourage transparency in order to build a strong secure marriage. Before marrying really have some candid and open discussion as to how you would like things to be in order to see if you are on the same page! Don’t just assume?

 

It is a good to take time and find out more about what each other likes and dislikes. Are you a morning person? Do you sleep with socks on? Do you snore? Are you patient? Do you yell scream and cuss to get your way? Do you rant and rave or manipulate? Or do you sulk and stay quiet, remote cold and unexpressive? Do you think that you should have everything that you want when you want it? Do you want your spouse to do everything for you and be waited on hand and foot and you do very little in return yourself? Or do you like to talk things through… Are you patient kind and loving. If you are you will be able to keep a balance. Or do you quit when the going gets tough?

 

It is the seemingly little things that add up and lead to arguments. It is easier for some to say how they feel when they are angry. Learn to be open and honestly discuss how you are feeling. Don’t make sorry a sorry word. Chill out and warm up to one another. It really is better to say “I am hurting.” Don’t let pride and insecurity dominate your marriage. How else will you settle your disputes if you do not take the time to responsibly communicate with each other? Wait until you have cooled off or can talk without being hostile. Please do not think that by not talking about issues they will go away; they won’t!

A great marriage will last for a lifetime
 

Now that we have discussed some of the not so good things we can move towards what it takes to build a better marriage. You sit down at work and discuss whatever the problem is, right! Why? Because work is a priority and you do not just opt out of your job when things are not going your way. Or if you attend worship you volunteer to do whatever. But when you are at home you are cantankerous? If so this is not good. It is important that you like and respect one another in marriage even more so. Why? Because you say you love this person!

You love them enough to get to know them better. You like them enough to care about their well-being. You care enough to develop loyalty in your marriage. Make sure to have a weekly marriage date. This does not mean you have to always go somewhere. It could just be a quiet relaxed evening committed to spending quality time together. Spend time in the Word together it is a wonderful time to bond. Remember keep your marriage exciting. Life is precious and each day is a gift from the Lord. It is important not to lose sight of this or you will just take one another for granted and improving the marriage will no longer be a one of your top priorities.

Make your marriage a priority
 

Life is about priorities. Take time out to tend to the people and things that are important to you. This is called being responsible. Marriage is the ultimate relationship between a man and a woman. If your marriage is going to last you have to make a conscious effort to work at it.  Keep the embers of love burning to keep it exciting.  Do interesting and adventurous things together!

 

You want to build a mutually satisfying sexual relationship between you as well. Coming together physically as one should be a special time. This is a time of sharing and caring.  A time to experience a time of euphoria together. Marriage is when two can be totally physically one with God’s Blessings. Pray and ask the Lord to help you make this a special time of nurturing, care, love and fulfillment together. It is also a time to be “fruitful and multiply” which is another Blessing from the Lord. You can experience unity when you freely give of yourselves to one another.   Create  a loving environment.  You keep the embers burning by being affectionate and caring towards one another.

 

Each couple is different so together build what works for you. It is okay to have your physical needs met so there’s no reason to be ashamed.  When you have not had sexual relations before, it takes a while to feel relaxed, and become free. It can be quite odd not really knowing what to expect or how to respond. This is natural so be patient with one another. You will have to release some of the things you have heard or thought. Share how you are feeling with you spouse. It will eventually work out. Take time to focus on fulfilling one another’s physical needs. Each couple is different. How often or few or when is between the two of you. The marriage bed is honorable in the eyes of the Lord.

See Part 4

Why most marriages don’t last! Part 2

February 11, 2016 by  
Filed under Marriage & Relationships

picture of pit
Why Most Marriages Don’t Last!

Part 2

There has been a shift in the atmosphere!

Many marriages in this 21st century are in crisis. On the News, on the internet and all across the United States of America you see couples in distress. Marriages within the church, in your neighborhood and those on your jobs are also struggling. You can find many unique interesting stories about couples that can’t seem to work through their issues. What you read, see and hear are indicative of what is happening everywhere all over the globe!

This does not have to be.

A great marriage really is definitely possible. Marriage requires love, commitment, patience and lots of teamwork! Counseling is an alternative that helps and it can enhance your marriage. But your goal must be to work through the kinks in the marriage rather than let them persist. If you wait until your problems are seemingly insurmountable it will take some time to plow through your relationship dynamics. It is also and indication that you two have gotten slack. You have allowed your marriage to become secondary.

Yes, many couples all over the world are going through. But don’t be discouraged. Help is on the way! This does not have to be. You both need to get busy shifting your priorities. Time to look at some viable options.

Hmm perhaps counseling?

There are times when counseling is sought just as a last resort. You simply attempt to appease one another and are trying to buy some time… When this is the case; by the time the couple goes to counseling the problem is so bad that they just want to find out which spouse is responsible for their marriage problems? They are often just seeking support and approval to justify why they act or behave in the manner in which they do? The fact of the matter is your communication skills are lacking to the point you have lost some of your objectivity.

You now need or desire a neutral third-party to help you see if you can revive the marriage and get it back on track?

How can we get back on track?

The Truth of the matter is each spouse is not always equally responsible for each problem. Quite often a lot of old baggage has not been addressed and it becomes a recurring theme. Instead of getting discouraged get actively busy resolving your issues and the issues at hand. This is really a great time to further develop your communication skills.

Let’s see what God has to say!

You can and should also incorporate the Bible as wise counsel in your marriage. Not in a rigid legalistic manner but in a way to enhance your marriage. It is important that you marry someone who values the same life principles! However if this is not the case you can still consult the Lord’s Word. There is some superb, really great “stuff” in the Bible that many are not aware of. I mean this in a complimentary way. Try doing a word search on Marriage and see where it takes you. There are some great love stories as well as excellent examples of tests and trials. The Lord never intended for any of us to be unhappy and disappointed all the time… I suggest that you also go to Galatians 5 and learn the differences between the works of the flesh and the Fruit of His Spirit!

Remember those vows you made to God and your spouse! Well the Bible has a wealth of wisdom to help you in any and every situation. The Bible is like no other book. It is alive! Pray for direction from the Lord. Ask Him to speak to your heart.

Please, don’t just read the Bible you must actually implement the principles into your own personal life and marriage. It is not wise to use the Word to manipulate or hurl insults upon your spouse. After all the Lord KNOWS what He is talking about.

If you have a friend that is having marital conflict encourage them to seek helpful ways to resolve it. It is important to respect your marriage as well as the marriage of others. When asked for advice make it a point to be objective. Don’t experiment on their marriage and suggest things that are harmful rather than constructive. If you don’t know, tell them you don’t know. Help them look at the situation from all angles. Sometimes a listening ear is all that is necessary to sort through the problem. Never support abuse on any level in or from anyone… Learn to be a better friend by encouraging them to do what is right.

What is so interesting is that as adults you can do as you please. That is, unless you simply have no self-control yourself and are rather compulsive. In that case you just cannot restrain or discipline yourself and you freak out at the slightest little thing. The problem won’t just go away on its own… If this is the case you really need to put yourself in check and seek out getting some professional help! By the way prayer really does work!

Please if you know that your spouse has a short fuse don’t try to purposefully set them off. This does not mean that you are to be a doormat. Choose your battles wisely don’t encourage abuse or dysfunction in yourself or anyone else. Don’t be or become an enabler.

So why can’t you make a decision to work out your problems? It’s because you have opted to go the way of the majority or just “do your own thing!” You can simply do what makes you feel good instead at the expense of your spouse? Live together and really be miles apart. But is it really good for you or your marriage? No! That’s called being selfish! At this point, the marriage has become more about “you” rather than about “us!” It’s my house, my car, my money, my furniture my name, my way or the highway, my… Somebody has a bad case of “Me”ness! No wonder you are in such a quandary.

You have now or will be joining the not happily ever after club soon! That is unless you decide to make your marriage a priority. So get busy doing something different; like making some improvements. Take a good look at what is going on or not going on. Reposition yourself and change the direction and get back on track. Sincerely work at reconciling your difference.

The first step for getting your marriage back on track is taking responsibility for your own actions. Stop behaving as though you are in the relationship by yourself. It is called being considerate. Your spouse is neither your servant nor parent! They are supposed to be your partner… Start treating your spouse the way you would like to be treated for starters. Life is precious. So humble yourself and let pride take a backseat. Take the wheel and take your marriage to a higher level.

Celebrate your marriage! Encourage one another and if necessary encourage yourself like King David. Don’t let anyone steal your JOY! If you have get busy getting it back!

See PART 3

Why most marriages don’t last! Part 1

February 10, 2016 by  
Filed under Marriage & Relationships

picture of pit

Why most marriages don’t last Part 1

It is important to make your marriage a top priority!

Marriage statistics ending in divorce continue to rise! Why is that? Spouses listen to everyone else except one another. Their marriage is no longer the top priority it once was. They desire to please their friends, relatives, neighbors, coworkers and sometimes congregations rather than one another or GOD!

 

You do not have to live on an island.  You must continue to strive to  improve and refine your marriage!

 

 

Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having good friends. Just don’t try to be like your friends. Especially if they are not married. Be original! If you notice you look different because you are different. Your temperaments are different and you like different things. So why is it when it comes to your spouse you listen to them rather than to one another. When you decided to get married you became a team. Or rather you should learn to commit to be partners in life. Build a great marriage and encourage those who are married to do the same. Encourage those who are single to cleave to the Lord as they seek to be married….

 

Hopefully you did not get married to make each others’ life difficult. Or to get someone to take care of you.  You can do badly all by yourself.  Or because you felt you were getting older and the clock was winding down or simply because everyone else was married? Or just because! Hopefully you got married because you want to give and share of yourself within the sanctity of a committed monogamous growing relationship. To experience the greatest partnership between one man and one woman designed by God.

 

Think about it for a moment. Why did you get married? Was there a goal to accomplish something? You have two eyes, two ears, two lips, two hands, two arms, two legs and two feet. They actually work together in pairs better! If one can’t do something the other one will… Well when it comes to marriage you should work together with your spouse as well. Two working together can accomplish much and often much more than  one! If you do not desire to work together then don’t get married.  Or perhaps that is why you no longer want to be unmarried? You want to try something else or someone else? You want to give of yourself in a relationship were you both have the same basic principles and morals; here you are on one accord….

 

Many change partners like they are changing a pair of shoes! Fearful of being transparent and taking the time to really get to know your spouse you flee. Or you simply don’t open up to them and you two just coexist as strangers! Or listen to unwise, ungodly counsel or advice… Quite often everyone else knows what is going on before either of you. Your friends have become your confidants and you wouldn’t dare share TRUTH with your spouse. Well! That’s part of the problem!

 

Help for marriages

Marriage is not about keeping secrets from your spouse.  It’s about sharing who you are and growing and improving yourself as well as encouraging your spouse… To remain committed when there is turbulence and then together learn to soar above it! In a good marriage when you truly like one another you become friends as well as partners! It is better to be open and honest up front rather than waste time year after year dodging the Truth.

 

If you have been married before please take some time in between marriages and get rid of the extra baggage. If you don’t it will soon become part of your current marriage and you will recycle the same ole junk! You can’t change what has happened but you can go forward and do some things differently…

 

What is so interesting marriage was really designed by God to be the ultimate relationship between one man and one woman. Two become one! Being together is a desired choice and you vow and commit to grow together and become partners for life. You made a commitment to honor God within your marriage? Or did you? Or until… Well nowadays people stay married as long or as short as they can tolerate one another and something better comes along? So they think? The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence! It must be tended, fertilized and cared for to stay green and healthy! The grass is greener where it is watered, fed and taken care of’

 

Few really understand what true love is!  “GOD IS LOVE” God is eternal and so is   His love!

 

 

Love becomes optional to some in marriage and  it  is no longer the key adhesive that keeps the marriage together.  This really is not  love at  all.  Respect and commitment are secondary as well!   This is “Intoxicating affections” that simply  mimic God’s love. They don’t last!

See Part 2

Amazon – FREE Marriage Book -2/13/18 -How Do I Love Thee: Food For Thought Before You Say I DO

January 18, 2016 by  
Filed under Marriage & Relationships

How Compatible are We? Ready for Intimacy? Commitment? The Marriage Bed? In-laws or Out-laws? Get answers to these questions and more!

Many couples spend a great deal of time planning their wedding, but little time planning their marriage. They have not taken the time to have candid open discussion as to what happens after the wedding. Planning your wedding is important, but so is planning your marriage.

How Do I Love Thee:Food For Thought Before You Say “I DO” is a mini-premarital guide to be used by couples, counselors, and clergy. It addresses many of the major subjects couples should discuss prior to marriage.

Included are interactive lessons and assignments for the couple which are designed to motivate serious thought about love, compatibility, commitment, finances, accountability, responsibility, dealing with the in-laws, the marriage bed, and more.


Click Here to get your FREE copy of this e-book from Amazon.

Marriage and Addiction Relief Part 2

Marriage & Addiction

Monkeys

Part 2

Steps To Drug Addiction

Addiction is not a behavior or goal that a person usually sets out to acquire intentionally. Addiction is a compulsive behavior. Addiction happens when there is an unhealthy dependency formed. The addiction can be upon a substance, activity or habit which is gradually developed over a period of time. This time period varies for each individual.

Addiction is considered a disease by many in the medical profession. Some have a predisposition to being addicted that makes them more susceptible. One then usually seeks to cope with their inner pain depending upon an eternal source, eventually resulting in a dependency on it for an unhealthy comfort. Unknowingly they often compulsively indulge themselves without restraint and become seduced! More and more they gradually enter a world of escape!

Step 1 Experimentation

The first step into addiction is when someone experiments and there becomes a gradual progression. For some it becomes a beloved affair and they readily fall into dependence upon a particular substance or activity. Alcohol and Cannabis (pot) are usually where they start? It has been said that cocaine is quite deceptive and after one try many become “hooked!” One will never quite experience that first climactic high! However they will incessantly try again and again to achieve the euphoric exhilarating high! Some have even declared that they have “fallen in love” with rock cocaine only after the very first use!

Addiction can happen faster for a teen because they have not yet developed strong restraints. Their brain and nervous system is still developing. Therefore they can fall into alcoholism, pot smoking, drugs or pornography easier than an adult!

If you don’t experiment; Guess what? You won’t get hooked! Often when someone tries drugs and don’t like them they will not continue. They don’t like how they feel when under the influence.

Food is a hard addiction to overcome because it is vitally necessary to sustain one’s
life. Therefore they must learn how to get their addiction under control and live with it daily. It is important to learn to relate to food properly. Seek to find a balance in all areas of your life. Be encouraged! It is possible to master any addiction with the HELP of the LORD!

Step 2 Occasional usage

This is when drugs or alcohol are used in social settings! They allow themselves to be influenced by their peers and opt to go along with the group. There are some users who stay here and do not go on to daily use. There are some who only use alcohol and drugs on the weekend and don’t consider themselves to have an addiction. They claim to use it for recreational purposes.

Addiction is so widespread in this 21st century that just about everyone has been impacted to some degree. It crosses all socioeconomic boundaries and is prevalent within all colors, races and cultures. This is true both inside and outside of God’s Church. Addiction within marriage can go undetected when you are not close to your spouse. It really is important to be transparent with your spouse in order to build a safe intimate marriage. It is also important to educate yourself about addiction. It is important to pray for your spouse, relatives, friends, coworkers or and love ones.

A treatment program can be very expensive. Check your health insurance and see what options or health benefits are available to you. Later on we will discuss outpatient, in patient, and residential programs. Know that having a personal relationship with the Lord makes or can make all the difference in the world! He can work through Christian and non Christians to help you through the recovery process… Keep in mind doctors and therapist treat and practice; GOD HEALS!

Next we will discuss advanced steps in addiction

Part 3

Marriage and Addiction Relief Part 1

Marriage and addiction

Monkeys

Part 1

Addiction is something few want to readily discuss. There is reason for alarm when an addiction is apparent. It needs to be addressed. It will at some point impede upon your relationship. Transparency is necessary in order to build intimacy. Addiction will inhibit intimacy within the marriage. Addiction also prohibits you from being transparent. Love, transparency, trust and intimacy are essential components in building a healthy satisfying marriage.

Addiction is a clear indicator that you are hurting. You have simply found an unhealthy way to cope with your deep pain. Your addiction can be alcohol, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, uppers, downers, prescription drugs, gambling, caffeine, illicit sex, people, pornography, food and even shopping! Yes and there are more… Even approval from others. Guess what? You have only found a way to momentarily relieve or somewhat ease your infuriating inner pain; it is still there. The addiction is a flag that something is wrong. You need to seek a healthy resolve.

I say momentarily because while under the influence or indulging in the activity of choice you are able to somewhat escape. However the systemic cause remains because the pain returns whenever you are alone. Often more vehement than ever before. This causes you to each time pursue passionately that which you are addicted to. Addiction of any kind can be life threatening because you are out of control. Your desires consume you and disables your ability to be responsible or demonstrate genuine love. Instead the activity controls you and you will do whatever it takes to get a “quick fix!

How does this impact my marriage? Good question. Marriage is a partnership and when one has an addiction they are not able to fully commit because the addiction is often their main priority. The spouse that is unaware is kept in the dark. Secrets, lies and deception accompany addiction. The addiction is used to fill the insatiable void in the addicted partner’s heart. It instead becomes their companion. This leaves their spouse out in the cold.

A disordered family, peer pressure, cultural influences, abuse, incest, rape, molestation, lack of self-esteem and a weakness to experiment can all contribute to one developing an addiction.

We live in a drug friendly worldly environment. Daily we are bombarded with the invitation to take this pill or that pill. Notice how many television commercials attempt to sell you something to feel better! Notice how the dinner hour has become the prime time for commercial pushers. There are a multiplicity of pushers of all sort. Doctors also oblige patients with tranquilizers, stimulants, pain pills, sleeping pills even pills to wake you up!

Keeping your commitments are important. One thing that needs to be promoted more is a personal relationship with the Lord! Marriage is ordained by God. It was designed to be the ultimate sacred relationship between a man and a woman. It can also help you prioritize life and put all your other relationships into their proper perspective, it can help you develop a healthier living environment.

Building trust is an important part of marriage. As we commit to building healthier home environments we contribute to lessening the number of addictions continuing to escalate. A safe home environment does not exclude addiction; but it does serve to nurture those who are… The possibility to break the generational cycle of dysfunction becomes attainable.

It is important to seek ways to validate one another. To develop and ongoing healthy support system that says I love and sincerely care. This does not mean you support the addiction. No! You separate the behavior from the person. You encourage them to be the best they can be and find ways to help them become who they were created to be.

God created each of us uniquely and we have varying temperaments. Our needs are different when these needs are not met a void is created and therefore one seeks to often erroneously fill that void. Marriage is about working together to find healthier ways to fill some of those voids with a committed partner… There are some voids that can only be filled by God.

Your partner is not responsible for your addiction you are. Both must hold one another accountable for their actions! You both are accountable to God for the vows you made… Remember, “for better or for worse…”

In this 21st century emotional gasoline has flamed the fires of addiction. Pain, grief and stress not dealt with properly are great contributors that drive unhealthy desires. This does not have to be. God’s Holy Spirit His Comforter is more than able.

Addiction is big business therefore it is often rationalized and one can easily find access and support. Addiction does not usually happen overnight it is a gradual process that begins with a series of steps…

Next we will discuss some of those steps;

Part 2

Every woman does not want to have children Part 3

Every woman does not want to have children

What Is Love ?
Part 3

Having children is a choice as well as being married is a choice. Being single is a choice as well as not having children is a choice. We are all unique individuals with varying temperaments some of us more complex than others. Keep in mind for one reason or another we make different decisions to have or not have children that may not be readily apparent.

Motherhood can be a challenging yet rewarding experience. It is one of the most hardest jobs that requires an inordinate amount of patience and the ability to multitask. To do so effectively one must be willing to be flexible, resilient, firm and consistent as well as make many personal sacrifices all at the same time.

If you decide that you do not want to have children there is absolutely nothing wrong with that as well. You may opt to extend yourself in other ways. As a matter of fact if you are sure that you do not want to have children you are being very responsible not to have children. Remember that there is always an exception to the rule.

There is nothing worse than a woman becoming pregnant who does not want children. If you do become pregnant; remember you laid down to enjoy one another for a moment to have intercourse; so taking their life because of that decision is selfish. There are extenuating situations that present themselves when possibility of motherhood has been forced upon a woman due to rape. Weigh your choices and please get some personal counseling to help you through your decision… If you decide to have the child you could always give it up for adoption? There are plenty of great couples who want children who will make great parents. If you do want children but not immediately; then you need to keep in mind that whenever you have sex there is a possibility that you could become pregnant even if you use a form of birth control.

Abortion should not be used just for birth control purposes. If you have had an abortion take some time to heal from your choice. You cannot change what has happened but you can reconcile with your choice if you are experiencing anxiety. This will help you make better choices in the future.

God really designed sexual intimacy to be between man and woman within the confines of a committed marriage. If you are not married please think for a moment, is this the person you would actually want to father your child or children? If so where are the two of you in the area of commitment?

You might want to think about having sex without being married? Especially if you do not want to be a parent. Think about it; do you know that you are actually giving a part of yourself away that is invaluable? There is something mystical that happens in the physical sexual exchange. There really is nothing “casual” about sex its serious. Under adverse circumstances you can encounter some serious consequences… Keep in mind that STD’s are rampart within this 21st century.

If you are single keep in mind that there is a likely possibility that you can become a single parent whenever you decide to have sex. Children are not mistakes. They deserve to have a father and a mother. If you are a single parent you really will need to build a healthy support system. Lord knows it’s hard enough when there are two parents; so make it your goal to be a good one even if you are alone!

Being responsible is always good. The world is becoming an increasing difficult place to live and establish a healthy home environment. This generation is seeing a host of confusing relationship scenarios happen before them all throughout the world. I think we all should commit or at least consider being better consistent examples for all children whether if you have children or not and are married or single.

I have thoroughly enjoyed raising my children and I have learned some invaluable life lessons. Personally I believe that raising children is one of, if not the hardest job on the planet. You have to wear many hats to do it effectively. Each child is unique and their temperaments vary. Becoming a parent single or married also requires putting aside doing some things that you would like to do for a season. The more time you invest in your children that you bring into this world or adopt the fewer problems you will have in the long run.

I also believe that you have a right to focus your gifts and talents in other areas of life if becoming a parent is not your desire. You still have a lot to contribute to making our society better as a whole.

Ladies I respect your personal responsible decision to not have children. Thank You for sharing your concerns. I really do realize that not every woman wants to have children.

Lord Bless You!

Food For Thought Before You Say I DO- Kindle Edition Countdown Promotion

How Compatible are We? Ready for Intimacy? Commitment? The Marriage Bed? In-laws or Out-laws?

How Do I Love Thee:Food For Thought Before You Say “I DO” is a mini-premarital guide to be used by couples, counselors, and clergy. It addresses many of the major subjects couples should discuss prior to marriage. Included are interactive lessons and assignments for the couple. The lessons are designed to motivate serious thought about love, compatibility, commitment, finances, accountability, responsibility, dealing with the in-laws, the marriage bed, and more.

A Kindle Countdown promotion will run on Amazon from 1/2/2016 – 1/9/2016. During this period you can get a limited-time discount on this premarital book.

Starting 1/2/2016 you can download a copy of the book starting at $ .99. Click on the book to visit Amazon and pick up your copy. The sooner you purchase, the larger the discount.

Every woman does not want to have children Part 1

Every woman does not want children!

What Is Love ?
Part 1

What does it mean to be a woman? Does it mean that you want to have a career, get married, buy a home and have children? Or does it mean that you want to get married, get an apartment and have children? Perhaps it means that you want to get a job, stay single, purchase a home or a condo, or just get an apartment and don’t want to have any children? Or maybe you will just have pets instead? You also have an option to not get married at all nor have pets? Oh my we have so many options! The point is we all are so very different!

I realize that every woman does not want to have children.

Women are anatomically different from their male counterpart and usually are feminine in their demeanor. Women have marvelous innate intrinsic abilities and the possible potential to do or become almost anything.

To be a woman means that you are a one of a kind unique female. Your characteristics are generally lady like? However there are some women who tend to be a bit more masculine.

Depending on how you have been socialized you may have a tendency to have more dominant masculine traits than normal. If you have been raised mostly with brothers, or by your Dad, or predominately in the company of males this tends to make you a bit stronger emotionally as well. Just because you don’t cry about the least little things or wear your emotions on your sleeve does not mean that you do not care or don’t have feelings. Just because you are stronger this still does not make you the same as a man.

By the way what is normal?

God made Adam from the dust of the ground. God then made and formed Eve from the rib bone that He took out of Adam’s side. Biblically speaking this is the normal origins of mankind! It helps to know about our origins. If you believe otherwise: oh well! We come in all shapes, sizes, colors, cultures and ethniciities. God made women to be distinctly different from men. Our bodies are even endowed differently. Women have curves and breasts of all sizes and shapes. Men have a chest which is usually flat and often hairy. Our sexual organs are made differently as well. We are equal in our intellectual potential, academic abilities and yes there is a tendency for women to be more emotional in general.

As long as I can remember back in the day, for the most part it was a life goal for girls to want to get married to a husband and have a family. Remember “Leave it to Beaver,” “Happy Days,” “The Donna Reed Show,” or “Bill Cosby Show?” What about “Julia” she was a nurse and a single mom.

Today they often portray a new normal family alternative lifestyle or is it really?

My how family life has changed! Today we have a lot more single parent homes and divorced parents trying to co parent. A lot of their unresolved issues continue to take the forefront.. Life can and will present many challenges. It is really essentially important to keep God in the center of your marriage and family; married or single.

The reality is having a family with children is not a goal for every woman today. There are many options and not every woman wants children. Remember we are all different.

In this 21st century it is becoming increasingly difficult to be in favor of God’s natural design exclusively for man and woman without being considered condemnatory. I have no problem with “free choice?” But when you claim to be a believer your choices should differ. We are supposed to subscribe to biblical principles for life & living married or single. We who believe the Word of God have rights too and should be able to freely say thus says the Lord!

Yes, you can just choose to do however you please but there are always consequences.

If you decide that you want another woman for a spouse or if you are a man and want another man for a husband; I must tell you that you are going against godly principles. This is not about hate but about loving the Truth of God’s Word. Remember the original design? I am simply Pro Marriage God’s Way. At some point we all will have to answer to God for our choices.

You have the freedom to not have children. Just because you decide that you do not want to have children does not mean that you are wrong or less than a woman. This is your personal choice and it is your right.

See Part 2

How Do I Love Thee:Food For Thought Before You Say I DO” – Amazon Book Giveaway 9/1/15 – 9/5/15

May 27, 2015 by  
Filed under Archives

How Compatible are We? Ready for Intimacy? Commitment? The Marriage Bed? In-laws or Out-laws?

Many couples spend a great deal of time planning their wedding, but little time planning their marriage. They have not taken the time to have candid open discussion as to what happens after the wedding. Planning your wedding is important, but so is planning your marriage.

Now available is the Kindle Edition of my premarital book “How Do I Love Thee: Food For Thought Before You Say I DO”.

>How Do I Love Thee:Food For Thought Before You Say “I DO” is a mini-premarital guide to be used by couples, counselors, and clergy. It addresses many of the major subjects couples should discuss prior to marriage. Included are interactive lessons and assignments for the couple, which are designed to motivate serious thought about love, compatibility, commitment, finances, accountability, responsibility, dealing with the in-laws, the marriage bed, and more.

For a limited time (September 1, 2015 – September 5, 2015) you can download a copy of this book for FREE!

Click on the book cover below to visit Amazon and pick up your copy, and/or a copy for family members and friends.

**********************************Customer Reviews From Amazon***********************************

Excellent and Resourceful
By Lady Monica Kaye on February 13, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
My sister has broken down each step of preparation needed before saying ” I Do”. I appreciate your straightforwardness to doing what is right in the sight of God.

This is a MUST read for anyone longing to be married or currently engaged.

Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
*****************************************************************************************************
I LOVE THIS BOOK
By Dr. Kitty Bickford on May 16, 2015
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I LOVE THIS BOOK! Wish I could get all my 20-something nieces and nephews and grandchildren to read it BEFORE they made bad choices. Thanks for writing it.

*****************************************************************************************************