Do You Need Stress Relief ? Part 2
October 14, 2017 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health, Health & Diet, Holidays & Celebrations
Healthy Ways to relieve stress.
Private and Personal
Are you stressed? It is important to spend some quiet time to unwind. Writing a letter to anyone who has hurt you is good. Get it out. Express exactly however you feel. This validates your feelings. Release any anger and let go of the hurt. This is for your eyes only. Now tear it up in little pieces. Bury it and or simply throw it away!
If necessary do this whenever a past issue resurfaces until you have exhausted your pain. You are learning how to take better control of your emotions.
You can also get an empty chair; imagine that the person is sitting there, and say to whomever has hurt you how you feel. Take control and release any anger, hurt, shame or disappointment! You are now beginning to take out the trash that has begun to weigh you down.
Listen to some relaxing music, exercising, or just taking a walk helps. You now have decided to no longer let what has happened to sit on the shelf of your mind and ferment! You are now beginning to move towards letting it go. This also helps you move towards wholeness.
Family
Whenever your family is stressed? Set aside some quiet time aside from the television or any outside distractions and have a family “pow wow.” Allow those concerned to briefly talk about how they are feeling. Then have them talk about how things can be improved. It is helpful to alternate taking turns having one of the children to be the moderator. You will be surprised. This helps them to acquire leadership and management skills. It is also great family bonding time. Your objective is to create a healthy, loving, open, nurturing, safe environment.
Marriage
Is your marriage stressed? You need to set aside some quiet time where the two of you can calmly discuss what are the issues at hand. Rekindle that love that brought the two of you together. Revisit those marriage vows you made to one another. Restore the JOY of just being together. When two together row a boat it gets to the desired destination faster. Having a weekly date night is great as well! Remember you cannot change what has happened. However, you can decide to go forward. Yes, you will probably have to revisit where you have been. Respect, concern and truth should be welcomed. Keep your focus on your goal to resolve the conflict rather than create more. This time is to remind you of where you do not want to stay or continue to go.
Job or Work Environment
Is your job stressing you out? You need to make an appointment to talk to your supervisor, boss, employees or co workers and let them know how you are feeling. Make sure you are not angry when you do this. Find a neutral spot if possible. Writing down what you want to say will help you stay focused. If you feel that you may lose your thoughts or say something inappropriate reschedule. Graciously delay it until you are ready. The point is you want to take control not loose it. If they are not willing; it may be better to begin looking for employment somewhere else. If you don’t, at some point your health will become affected working continuously under such poor conditions. Your health is more important. You don’t want to spend the majority of your life full of anxiety, depressed or stressed.
Spiritual Renewal
Incorporating prayer and meditating upon the scriptures will yield much inner peace in your life. The WORD of GOD IS ALIVE. it is the only written work where the author is always present. Pray for understanding as you read its marvelous content. Actively implementing the principles are key to resolving inner conflict and stress. The scriptures were meant to point us to a better way of life. To abet developing a personal relationship with God our Creator. God has provided a wonderful plan of salvation for all who are willing to accept Jesus Christ into their hearts as their personal Savior. Jesus is able to save you from the power of sin reigning within your life. Jesus came to show us that better Way! To help you discover your true purpose in life and keep us on the Narrow Path
The “Gift of Life” is priceless. Therefore you want to make and effort to find better ways to cope in the midst of the unexpected. Your home environment should always be a priority. It should be your haven from the world. Invest your time energy and resources in building a safe healthy living environment.
Stress is a normal part of life. Taking the time to communicate your feelings in a healthy manner means you care. When a problem arises; Adopt and embrace “Redemptive Confronting!” Facing whatever the problem is or however you are feeling is always much better for you and those around you. Don’t live in denial. Don’t allow others to pull you from your center. If you aren’t centered get busy learning how to keep more focused. Everyone has a not so good day from time to time. Don’t major in the minors! Just make sure that stress has not become the theme for your everyday lifestyle.
Staying focused and discovering alternate ways to readily relieve any stress is a viable goal.
Life is too short and precious to spend the majority of your time stressed! It is important to begin to work towards having a healthier balance in life. Begin moving towards creating a warm, more peaceful, safe and loving environment. Learning coping skills and ways to manage stress will also result in a healthier outlook as well as becoming healthier spiritually, physically and emotionally.
TRULY WITH THE LORD YOU CAN BECOME WHOLE!
Why Most Marriages Don’t Last! Part 4
July 25, 2017 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Behavioral,Emotional, and Spiritual Health
God created marriage to last for a lifetime. It was designed to be the ultimate relationship for oneness between a man and a woman. Here you both can physically and spiritually become one. Strive to enhance and improve every aspect of your lives together. It is important to create a nurturing living environment. Take care to affectionately tend your marriage consistently. Keep your marriage as you would a lovely well-kept garden. Always make your marriage a top priority.
Take care of your marriage
Take a look around your home it is a reflection of how you feel. Now take a look at your bedroom. What does it say to you? For example; If you leave your clothes lying all over the place and hang them up whenever you want to guess what? You tend to be selfish and insensitive and don’t really care about your shared environment. You are also being inconsiderate to your spouse when this becomes a habit. Guess what? If you had guests would you treat them differently. Start being more attentive, considerate, respectful and thoughtful towards one another.
Preventative maintenance is the key to keeping order. For example. I like everything in its place. it saves times and you know where to find things. I also like organization. This works for us because we both like things organized.
You may like just letting things be. Then on the weekend or once a month you scramble to get everything in order. Or you just push everything aside and deal with it whenever you feel like it. Or do you leave it all to your spouse to do whenever. This makes for a real comfortable no hassle environment for you & yours. No big deal I will get to it when I get to it. The point is what works for your household is what is best.
As your family grows you will have to make adjustments. Once or if you have children you want to model good behavior. Color coordinating things really helps. When you have a lot of children it makes things easier. Structure helps children to feel secure. So I say; “when you play put away.” You do have to learn to be flexible and reasonable. You can also solicit a house keeper. Being to rigid is not good. It is your home and your environment so do whatever works for you and yours.
What is most important that you seek to create a balance. Your living environment should be a place you all feel comfortable.
Each marriage is different and each marriage is what you both make it. If you want to make it better and if you want to improve start improving yourself. Stop neglecting yourself and only fixing yourself up for everyone else or when you go to work, go out or attend worship. Men are visual and so are women. Change for the better not the worst! Make a covenant with your eyes and always remain faithful to your spouse. Keep healthy boundaries and stay committed to honor your marriage. Do you take care of yourself like you did when you were dating? We are older now; NO! Still no excuse. Age like a fine antique. Or do you just throw yourself together now because after all you are married to him or her so what? You should take care of your self to the degree you did when you came together or better. Strive to become the “BEST YOU” at any age.
Marriage can be a wonderful experience of growing with the one you love it truly can last for a lifetime. Keep an exciting synergy between you. Being happy is a choice! When you truly invest yourself in your marriage it will always remain a priority. You can always look forward to going home.
Keeping GOD as the CENTER of your marriage is important. PRAY, read and study the WORD together. This will really enhance your marriage and your life. After all you did make a vow to HIM as well. Life is precious. Make it a point to get better not bitter. You truly can continually refine your relationship. You really can have a beautiful realistic marriage. You, your spouse, your children and everyone else benefits. You actually give others HOPE!
True Love lasts through forever
Make it a point to keep your marriage and your spouse happiness a priority. You can still enjoy the company of friends and loved ones. But don’t let everyone else but your spouse know what is going on with you and how you are feeling about you or them! Share with one another intimately. Have some fun activities together. Allow one another their space and freedom to breath. Don’t suffocate one another. When you don’t you will actually enjoy one another whenever you are together. Plan to have a marriage date weekly. Keep your marriage exciting. Again, I cannot say this enough; Keep one another and your marriage a priority.
Continually Invite love into your marriage and actually love on one another.
True Love lasts through forever. Be kindly affectionate towards one another. Unexpected hugs go a long way. Every touch does not have to lead to intercourse. Kiss one another whenever you are parting. Encourage one another. Take time to let one another in on what is going on in your life. How you feel, how you hurt and how you together want to keep love alive. Major in the Victories of life and minor in the disappointments. Life is Precious! CELEBRATE your marriage often. Be friends, lovers and partners. You both should desire what is best for one another. In a good healthy marriage you want one another to be the “Best You” you can be with one another by your side. You increasingly become One! This is true when GOD IS in the center of your marriage. You want and desire your marriage to last “until death do part.” Your vows remain important.
Happiness is a conscious choice. Commitment & fidelity is a choice. You can’t make them happy. However, you surely can greatly contribute to them becoming happier. Creating an intimate, loving, caring, warm, transparent, stable, secure and mutually inviting environment together helps tremendously. Here both of you can continue to grow and flourish together and make a beautiful fragrant bouquet that says “I LOVE YOU!” Now and through FOREVER!
ENJOY one another and KEEP Your “I DO” real! True LOVE lasts through ETERNITY!
Book Release: “A HOUSE of PRAYER (Not a Hospital)”
June 2, 2017 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Religion & Spirituality
In this 21st century it is believed by many that the Church is a hospital. It is often said that it is a place for the sick. Does this mean that no one ever gets well?
The Lord did not come to build hospitals. He came to restore us back to the Father and for us to have an abundant life in every way. The House of the Lord is a House of Prayer.
What is your place of worship? Is it a place of worship or a place of hospitality? What is its main objective? Is it a social place where many simply seek to find refuge with those they have much in common? Is it a place where you can come to take part in the activities and have a good time? A place to simply feel comfortable and accepted? A place where you can feel good, but not necessarily become transformed by the renewing of your mind by the Word of God!
THINK and ponder for a moment. Is your place of worship simply a hospital for sinners or a museum for saints? Is it here you can simply remain sick sinners for a lifetime?
The next time you are in an actual hospital look around and see all the hurting people. Take notice and see how crowded it is in the emergency room. How long the lines are, waiting for prescriptions to be filled. How long do you have to wait. Notice the many specialists, doctors, nurses and technicians scurrying about. Yes, it is serious business, how sad so many are ailing. They are all there for a multiplicity of reasons.
All things considered, is this really how you think “A House of Prayer” should really be?
All of these questions and more are addressed in my new book. Pick up a copy and go with me to my Father’s House, “A HOUSE of PRAYER (Not a Hospital).”
How Compatible are We? Ready for Intimacy? Commitment? The Marriage Bed? In-laws or Out-laws? Many couples spend a great deal of time planning their wedding, but little time planning their marriage. They have not taken the time to have candid open discussion as to what happens after the wedding. Planning your wedding is important, but so is planning your marriage. How Do I Love Thee:Food For Thought Before You Say "I DO" is a mini-premarital guide to be used by couples, counselors, and clergy. It addresses many of the major subjects couples should discuss prior to marriage. An invaluable resource for those contemplating marriage.