Valentine’s Day is legendarily known for being the most romantic day of the year. It is a time that couples desire to wonderfully express and celebrate their love for one another. This day of love is now further extended and expressed between friends, families, classmates, teachers, co workers and many more…
It is a great and marvelous day to annually commemorate your union of “the two becoming one”. Marriage was designed to be a loving, committed, pleasurable, fulfilling experience.
Valentine’s Day is said to have originated from amongst the ancient chronicles of ancient Roman history within the early Christian Church. Not all agree; some believe its origin is that of a pagan nature … However this narrative goes as such;
Once upon a time, years ago somewhere in and about the 3rd century AD., many couples who were in love were forbidden to marry. It is said that Emperor Claudius II who was an austere, ambitious and controlling ruler requiring vast armies of men denied them the privilege to marry. He trained his soldiers well yet brutally. He was a hard taskmaster. The soldiers had to be on the road for long extended periods of times and he did not want them engaging in sexual intercourse. This left the lonesome lot of soldiers homesick and half hearted… Still, the Emperor felt it drained the soldiers strength and interfered with his goal for them to be victorious on the battle field. So he subsequently banned marriages altogether.
But one bold, compassionate, defiant priest in Rome named Father Valentine did not agree. He thought that the Emperor Claudius II was unjust in this belief. He heroically came to the aid of many couples and secretly married the young lovers anyway. Well, when the furious Emperor got wind of what was happening he was livid and he had him beaten with clubs and arrested. It is alleged that the Emperor himself began to like Father Valentine… He even tried to convert the Emperor. In turn the Emperor wanted and attempted unsuccessfully to make Father Valentine renounce his Faith. Father Valentine remained incarcerated and sentenced to death.
It is believed that the secretly wedded blissful couples that Father Valentine had married were so thankful and filled with gratitude that they clandestinely visited the imprisoned priest. No doubt that they had pledged their love for one another but for Father Valentine as well. With thankful hearts filled with gratefulness and appreciation they surreptitiously brought him flowers and notes of gratitude which they secretly passed to him through the bars of his cell.
Father Valentine himself being loving, kindhearted, caring and compassionate supposedly fell in love with the jailer’s daughter. Some say she was blind and he healed her… On the day of the condemned Father Valentine’s execution of February 14th around 269, he wrote her a note confessing his love for her and signed it “from your Valentine.” He however was martyred and beheaded. From here amongst the varied accounts originates our tradition of “Valentine’s Day”.
Today in this modern 21st century “Valentine’s Day” is one of the most celebrated days on the calendar. It has been festively celebrated by billions of people ever since the days of Father Valentine.
Here in our beautiful country of America alone over 180,000,000 people celebrate by purchasing and showering roses upon their loved ones. Red is the most often selected color. It is a most prosperous day for retailers! Over 36,000,000 heart shaped boxes of candy and chocolates as well as thousands of diamonds, dinners, cards and other gifts ranging from extravagant to simple in lavish expenditures collectively totaling billions of dollars are purchased.
Hershey the infamous chocolate maker employs 13,000 employees. Located in Hershey, Pennsylvania they make over $5,000,000,000 in revenue per year. They use over 600, 000,000 million pounds of chocolate per year as well as using over 200,000,000 million pounds of nuts and 700,000,000 million pounds of milk and an exorbitant ridiculously extravagant amount of sugar! Hershey Inc. vast quantities of chocolate is made from cocoa plants from all around the world.
Valentine’s Day is a time to celebrate LOVE! When couples are in love it is both emotional and physical! The brain produces a neurotransmitter called dopamine. It is a natural stimulant that carries messages from nerve cells to other nerve cell muscles. It is sent to many brain regions creating intense feelings often associated with romantic love. There are also physiological responses that occur by another closely related neurotransmitter called norepinephrine that often creates and intense craving… This explains why kissing for some can be intense because the hormone testosterone is passed between the two when kissing. Hopefully this explains why some can tend to be a bit irrational initially when in love. Love is wonderful when properly and lovingly expressed.
There are many ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a couple! Here are a few suggestions:
It is always good to Kiss your spouse whenever you part
Start the day off with a nice hug and bubble bath
Slip a romantic expression of love note in his pocket or her purse
Compose or read poetry to one another, for starters try, The “Song of Solomon” it is a fabulous book of inspiration and love
Plan a nice Candlelight dinner and or a Romantic picnic lunch
Treats of: Cakes, Cookies, Cupcakes, Chocolates, and assorted candies
Flowers & Cards
Take in a matinee or evening movie
Select in advance a great movie you are excited about sharing at home
Plan a spa couple visit for the mud baths, mineral springs and for massages
Play nice enjoyable music to relax
Before retiring take a nice temperate, peaceful, tranquil candle light bubble bath
Nice scented comfy and pillow puffy rose petaled bed… A suggested gift to one another that continues the celebration throughout the year! Remember be creative! Simply write colorful to do “IOU’S “on note cards… Fold and place them in a nicely decorated jar or basket! Here are a few suggestions; This is your day to do as you wish, Impromptu no questions asked date, Car Wash, No arguing today, Dancing, Golf Pass, Couple shopping fling, Back rub & neck massage, Foot massage, Night on the town, Walk in the park, Let’s exercise together, Event of choice or Evening of Elegance…
When you SAY that you LOVE someone here are some things to KEEP in mind! Here the TRUE meaning of LOVE is defined.
Love is best described herein I Corinthians 13: “LOVE is patient, Love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. LOVE does not delight in evil, but REJOICES in TRUTH. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. LOVE NEVER FAILS…”
God Bless You! ENJOY & CELEBRATE the one you Love!
“Love is patient, Love is kind, Love is felt most when it is GENUINE!”
Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
In a healthy marriage you are friends as well as lovers
SONG of SOLOMON Case study in PURITY & PASSION
This is one of the most loving, romantic and poetic Books found in the Old Testament of the Bible! Did you know that some of the most passionate “Love Songs” dating back to ancient Hebrew times were written by King Solomon? It was originally called and still is at times known as ” Song Of Songs”! Well after all he had (700) seven hundred wives and (300) three hundred concubines! If you ever want to hear some passionate love songs or romantic poetry look no more; The Song of Solomon is the perfect venue! The Key verse: “I am my Lover’s and my Lover is mine; he browses among the lilies.”
God who is LOVE is amazingly AWESOME! If you want some “Sweet Some Things” to read to each other this is the place! Now whoever said that The Word could not be sung? This Book is indeed filled with melodic romantic prose! In The Song of Solomon, King Solomon candidly speaks of love between a bridegroom and a bride! The sanctity of marriage is affirmed as well as a brilliant illustration of the Love God has for His people!
The world in which we live is saturated by the news media with tales of sexual escapades, sexual freedom, extramarital affairs, homosexuality and secret rendezvous of the rich and famous celebrities as well as politicians! Divorce is raging a battle against marriage! Any and just about everything goes … This is also attempting to take a stronghold on God’s Church! Many say you have to accept me as I am regardless of my sexual preferences because unconditional love says so? We are to love people not the sin! Sin is anything that separates us from God! God determines what is or is not sinful!
Did you know that sex originated in the Bible? Yes, It was created by God! How did sex ever become such a dirty word? Man tends to always pervert what God has made for good! The world tries to redefine marriage to suit whomever… It has been twisted and turned upside down by too many! Sex for some is a no strings attached, or just a wild activity of lust void of commitment and a mere wild expressed bodily exercise! In this case you are just giving away a part of you to an uncommitted partner…
It was really meant to be a holy union celebrating the “two becoming one”It is the closest form of body language that one can physically express to another; I Love you! The Word says; “And Adam said : This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become ONE flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.” Everything God made is good! It is when sex is practiced outside of the boundaries of marriage, not as He intended things begin to get complicated… Having sex is not bad or dirty. Sex was made for mutuality between husband and wife, each has a responsibility to one another! Celebrating love, experiencing one another in a pleasurable way, producing children and bonding together is all sanctioned by God within HOLY MATRIMONY!
If you did not know it, there is a lot going on regarding sex in the Bible! The Word talks explicitly about the consequences of “sex outside of marriage.” The world says no problem! “Go for it.” Remember; “Think fire out of the fireplace!” It’s possible but dangerous! The Song of Solomon is a poignant, emotional, moving poetic drama about love. In intimate details King Solomon bears his soul to his lover and she to him. Here is a wonderful illustration that is often over looked putting sex and marriage in its proper place.
Although some even say it is a story of God’s love for the children of Israel being expressed in an Allegory? Others say it is a story of married love. But really it is both! God Loves us! He wants what is best for us! He does not want us ignorant in anyway. It is so good to know that we are saved by His GRACE! As you read consider thinking on this fact that GOD IS LOVE! You cannot turn back the hands of time. But you can go forward in the Lord! It is never too late to start living His way! “All have sinned and fallen short of the GLORY of GOD!”
As you stroll through the corridors of “The Song of Solomon” remember GOD LOVES YOU! Seriously think about committing or recommitting to living your life His way? Think about inviting Him into the messiness and allowing Him to show you and guide you. Through the gift of His Holy Spirit He can show you how to bring order, peace, patience, kindness, self control, happiness, joy and so much more to your marriage! You also have His Blessings on your marriage bed!
Love physically expressed is powerful between a husband and wife! It can be a conscious time to solidify your marriage and honor your vows! This allows your inner beauty to glow and shine forth, sensitivity and sincerity encompasses mutual fulfillment! Keep the romance going by adding embers to the flame of your marriage! Although it began at the altar it should continue on day by day! This helps to keep emotional walls from erecting that can become barriers in your marriage! Time is so precious. Tomorrow is not promised! Make sure you take time to nurture one another! The Song of Solomon honors marriage!
Let us sample a taste of what Solomon shares. This is from The Beloved!
“Let him Kiss me with the Kisses of his mouth
For your love is more delightful than wine.
Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
Your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the maidens Love you!
Take me away with you, let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers…”
Solomon was the son of King David, he was chosen by God to build the Temple in Jerusalem. Solomon had bestowed upon him an extraordinary gift of wisdom. He wrote over (3,000) three thousand proverbs and (1,000) one thousand songs! The Song Of Solomon itself contains (7) seven poems! It gives a descriptive account about how they met. The engagement, the wedding and the procession, the actual wedding night as well as the marriage itself!
This refreshing romantic Book describes Solomon’s love for his bride in a way that captivates the refreshing and invigorating qualities that love brings forth! Although life can become very difficult at times; Marriage was meant to provide a committed partner to weather the storms of life! Your marriage should not consist of only major complaints, sorrows and problems. Nor should there be any physical, mental or emotional abuse! This is not what God intended! If your marriage needs to be refreshed, I pray this inspires you! Marriage should be a place where ultimate transparency, physical mutually satisfying intimacy between husband and wife can be shared! Coming together should be a time to lock all the trappings and disappointments of life out and invite in refreshing, excitement and reinforcing the cherished memories that brought you together!
The Song of Solomon says: “How beautiful are your sandaled feet, O princes daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman’s hands. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Hesborn by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking towards Damascus. Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. How beautiful you are and how pleasing. O LOVE with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit …”
As you mature your marriage should as well. It should age gracefully like a fine antique; they become more cherished and valuable with age. Cultures vary in their perceptions of lovemaking. There are some cultures that teach and encourage enhancing the physical lovemaking within marriage. There is a freedom that emerges when the couple together make their physical intimacy a priority. You become like “Epoxy” glue. Once the two components come together it is virtually impossible to separate! Love between a man and woman is priceless. Remember “GOD IS LOVE” and true love was meant to last through forever! It is not the same as what I call “Intoxicating Affections” that only mimic true love they do not last; but at some point will leave a residue of resentment! The key components of a great marriage is love, trust, mutual respect, understanding, devotion and commitment. When you say “I DO!” Remember, Loving committed marriages reflect God not domination and control! Your marriage should be a reflection of “How much you Love the Lord!” Remember no longer two but ONE. “What GOD has joined together let not man put asunder!” I hope you enjoy “THE SONG OF SOLOMON”!!!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, Life Coach and ordained Minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” her second book is “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married” DeBorrah is eager to share and encourage all ages, her third book and first Christian Fiction Novel is appropriate for ages 10 – 110. It is “The Enchanting Legends of Shiloh Mansion: The Young King. DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published.