A Growing Trend In Marriage – Part I

November 5, 2011 by  
Filed under Archives

There is a growing trend towards marriage in this 21st century! It is called not being up front! Instead of taking the time to really get to know this person you say you want to spend the rest of your life with you just get married and hope everything will work itself out. You even withhold pertinent information that might change your potential spouses mind! Or you get married thinking I’ll just get a divorce if things don’t go as planned.

No wonder the divorce rate continues to climb! The marriage vows for many are just words that are repeated! Loyalty, transparency and commitment are secondary! How is it that you think that you can make a lifetime decision on a mere impulsive whim? You cannot change your spouse or potential spouse! It is important that you share core values in order for the marriage to work! For many marriage is really just an idea. It is like test driving a car. You just take it around the block and see if you like the drive. But that is not what marriage is all about!

The growing trend is to marry now and think seriously later about what it really means to say “I DO!”
Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries recently got married and it lasted for many days… Not many years; but a total of (2) two months and a few days to be exact! They tied the knot! The ceremony was extravagant, sensual, lavish and elegant, but it costs millions of dollars $$$$$$$. How ironic because the detailed wedding took longer to plan than the actual marriage itself! There was more time spent in the planning of the costly opulent affair than on the actual relationship! But in retrospect if anyone noticed; I am sure that there were some definite reservations that were quite apparent!

Now they want to untie the knot! This is NOT what marriage is meant to be about! It is not just a gala affair or a simple affair! It is supposed to be a Celebration of a Covenant Agreement! It is a supposed to be a Grand Occasion regardless of how large, small, public or private! It is supposed to be a solemn confession and demonstration of Love! “God is Love!” How can you know what Love is and not know God? No wonder so many marriages are ending in divorce! So many want to take Him out of the equation so they can do their own thing! Or invite Him in momentarily and set Him aside for the rest of the relationship! Not good!

Well, this is where the growing trend is taking us! With the surge of so many trying to redefine marriage this is the direction where many are headed … “In & Out ceremonies!”

It was never really decided where or how Kim & Kris would live? Will he move, she move, we move or live separate? But one thing was certain a prenuptial agreement was made! Since there was a prenuptial agreement there were some concerns! Just in case things don’t work out we must pre determine if I keep this and you keep that! Was it determined who gets to keep the $2,000,000.00 ring? The ring is supposed to symbolize an endless circle of Love! It is a sacrifice made to honor your spouse “with this ring I thee wed…” Not a trophy for the public! What about the careers? Was this a publicity stunt too! How do we manage them after we are married? Was this just a business arrangement? Was it just another Hollywood performance? Do they really care for one another? Do or did they really understand what Love means? Or as the divorce petition states there are; “Irreconcilable differences!” as so many do! Can this marriage be reconciled? Or will they become just a part of the growing trend statistics…

Kim & Kris are one of many it goes much deeper than them! They are a great example within public view that has been under the microscope! They have gotten a whole lot of exposure which makes it even more difficult to cultivate a strong marriage! This can serve to help many know; what not to do! This is exactly why there needs to be some open discussions before taking the plunge! These are a few of the many subjects that need to be addressed before entering into marriage. Marriage was created by God to be a Covenant agreement!

Is anything sacred anymore? Today in this 21st century marriage is becoming an easy made and easily broken promise! There really needs to be some serious discussions “Before You Say “I DO!” Or it’s better to say; “I don’t! I don’t know if I love you? I don’t know how to love you! I don’t really know you! I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you, I just want a party! I don’t even know if I really know or understand what love is?

It is a big difference between a Covenant marriage and a whirlwind romance! The Marriage is sanctified by The LORD!

It is getting very confusing because people are now trying to change marriage to be something else! The boundaries have been blurred! This often makes one feel that marriage can last for how short or long they decide. That it is on their terms and the vows are merely words. That marriage is what they determine and it is with whomever they want when and however they want it without really committing and giving it your best shot! “I’m out of here!” Next person! In reality this is not marriage at all. It is merely a going through the motions ceremony!

This is further confusing the next generations because they have fewer and fewer good consistent role models! Everything is in a flux. Since so many are changing partners as fast as they change a pair of fancy dress shoes! By the way have you seen some of the shoes these days!

Why Most Marriages Don’t Last – Part 1

October 31, 2011 by  
Filed under Marriage & Relationships

The statistics for marriages ending in divorce continue to rise! Why is that? It is simply because the spouses listen to everyone else except one another. Their marriage is no longer the top priority it was! They desire to please their friends, relatives and coworkers rather than one another or God!

No you do not have to live on an island! But you must continue to improve and refine your marriage!
Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having good friends! Just don’t try to be like your friends! Especially if they are not married! Be original! If you notice you look different because you are different! Your temperaments are different and you like different things! So why is it when it comes to your spouse you listen to them rather than to one another! When you decided to get married you became a team! Or rather you should learn to commit to be partners in life. Build a great marriage and encourage those who are married to do the same. Encourage those who are single to cleave to the Lord as they seek to be married….

Hopefully you did not get married to make each other’s life difficult. Or to get someone to take care of you! You can do badly all by yourself! Or because you felt you were getting older and the clock was winding down or simply because everyone else was married? Or just because! Hopefully you got married because you want to give and share of yourself within the sanctity of a committed monogamous growing relationship! To experience the greatest partnership between one man and one woman!

Think about it for a moment! Why did you get married? Was there a goal to accomplish something? You have two eyes, two ears, two lips, two hands, two arms, two legs and two feet. They actually work together in pairs better! If one can’t do something the other one will… Well when it comes to marriage you should work together with your spouse as well! Two working together can accomplish much and often much more! If you do not desire to work together then don’t get married! Or perhaps that is why you no longer want to be unmarried? You want to try something else or someone else? You want to give of yourself in a relationship were you both have the same basic principles and morrals; here you are on one accord….

Many change partners like they are changing a pair of shoes! Fearful of being transparent and taking the time to really get to know your spouse you flee. Or you simply don’t open up to them and you two just coexist as strangers! Or listen to unwise, ungodly counsel or advice… Quite often everyone else knows what is going on before either of you! Your friends have become your confidants and you wouldn’t dare share TRUTH with your spouse! Well! That’s part of the problem!

Marriage is not about keeping secrets from your spouse! It’s about sharing who you are and growing and improving yourself as well as encouraging your spouse… To remain committed when there is turbulence and then together learn to soar above it! In a good marriage when you truly like one another you become friends as well as partners! It is better to be open and honest up front rather than waste time year after year dodging the Truth!

If you have been married before please take some time in between marriages and get rid of the extra baggage. If you don’t it will soon become part of your current marriage and you will recycle the same ole junk! You can’t change what has happened but you can go forward and do some things differently…

What is so interesting marriage was really designed by God to be the ultimate relationship between one man and one woman! Two become one! Being together is a desired choice and you vow and commit to grow together and become partners for life. Or did you? Or until… Well nowadays people stay married as long or as short as they can tolerate one another and something better comes along? So they think? The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence! It must be tended, fertilized and cared for to stay green and healthy!

Love becomes optional to some in marriage and is no longer the key adhesive that keeps the marriage together. Respect and commitment are secondary as well! “Intoxicating affections” mimic marriage. They don’t last!

SEE Part 2

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