Marriage & Addiction
How drugs affect our bodies and your marriage?
Drug abuse continues to escalate and take its casualties all over the world! Drugs change the natural chemistry of the human body! Drugs for some are necessary therapeutic medicinal healing aids to facilitate improving ones health! For millions of people they help to sustain a certain quality of life. Diabetes, heart disease, cancer, infections, viruses, broken bones, sprains, pain and arthritis are just a few of the plethora of ailments that are usually controlled by drugs. In these cases they are usually necessary and beneficial!
Doctors treat many illnesses, diseases and conditions with medical drugs every day! Drugs may be swallowed, injected, inhaled or sniffed! There are legitimate as well as illegitimate uses for drugs! One can become addicted in both cases. The use of drugs illegally is far more dangerous. When one has a spouse who engages in drugs it is much harder to establish intimacy! Their need for drugs is more important than their need to be emotionally available!
It is not wise to use drugs that are not personally prescribed for you nor those purchased illegally! Drugs alter the chemistry of the brain and make you feel different. A physician takes into consideration your current health status, your weight and symptoms when prescribing a prescription! The more you use drugs the more your brain chemistry becomes altered!
When a person becomes addicted they are out of control! The drug or behavior of choice now has taken over and the desire to “fix” the way they are feeling takes priority over everything! They will quite often do whatever is necessary just to “feel good!” This is why it is so important to be under the care of a trained physician who knows how to properly prescribe the proper medication to address any physical or mental ailment! Even under the care of a qualified doctor one can still become chemically dependent and addicted to drugs!
Pain is real! The addict is in pain and has lost their ability to cope with reality unless they are under the influence. They have developed an unhealthy habit and desire to experience a level of pleasure and/or the need to escape from reality. Life can be difficult and often people are thrust in to situations and terrible living conditions that are unbearable. Childhood trauma and cumulative issues not dealt with fester and cause emotional pain. People often carry many unresolved issues into their relationships… This can forbid them from being transparent. The marriage then often suffers from neglect and lack of intimacy! The spouse with the addiction is often emotionally unavailable. It is important to seek help!
To some marriage is a game rather than a sacred union. Recently there was a man in the Sacramento area who was arrested for participating in numerous marriage unions! He also arranged as many 39 bogus marriages for others for which he profited for a fee at the expense of others unhappiness! It is important to take time to get to know who you are marrying… This man’s selfish deceptive actions hurt many people. He had no intention of making a virtuous commitment. It is evident that he had an unhealthy addiction to the idea of marriage.
Trust can be shattered like a glass vase! Leaving one traumatized! Trust can erode when one is not attentive to the needs of their spouse creating an abyss. Marriage is about coming together and building a great partnership! It can be tedious regaining trust again but it is possible! It is always important to be honest about your pain and how you are feeling! Disillusioned by a break in trust usually leaves the spouse empty and needy. Which also makes them vulnerable… Building or establishing an ongoing relationship with the Lord will build a stronger foundation that will help to keep you anchored! God is available 24/7! God is true to His Word! “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight!” Proverbs 3.
Sexual addiction is quite threatening to a marriage! It is an intimacy problem. Millions of people in the U S suffer from sexual addictions. The person with a sexual addiction has a hard time connecting to and making a monogamous commitment. They are caught up in a vicious cycle of having their own needs met at any cost. The spouse’s needs are usually ignored and neglected due to the spouses self-indulgence. Addiction that is not addressed will not just go away. Restoration is a choice; it takes a lot of work but it is possible!
Godly counsel and much time spent in fervent prayer are needed along with a necessary redemptive confrontation. The confrontation means I care enough to “speak the Truth in Love!” Confrontation brings the issues to the forefront! It is important that the issues are then addressed immediately! Keep it real! If you or your spouse has an addiction of any kind; Please DO NOT delay seeking help! The longer you wait the harder it is to make the necessary lifestyle and environment changes! A couple that has a strong marriage bond can be a great mentor and encouragement! You have vowed to be there for one another for better or for worse…? Take care of yourself and make it a point to look your best! If you are reading this and you are single. Start dealing with your issues now before you commit to marry! It is important to know that a good strong marriage is built on TRUST! If necessary recommit to your vows and start anew! Now let’s get busy moving forward building better, stronger, satisfying, trusting enduring marriages! Be encouraged A great marriage (without) is truly still possible!
I recently attended a “Marvelous” poetry reading! The Library in Lincoln sponsored a “VOICES OF LINCOLN POETRY CONTEST!” It is an annual affair! There was a very good mixture of poems from a plethora of categories. There were poems about mysteries, to make you laugh, about people in the news, about relationships and poems to make you think? There were poets of all ages from (10) ten to (90) ninety. There is something special when all ages, cultures and colors are able to come together and share…
It was a beautiful afternoon and truly a delightful treat!
I want to share with you one poem in particular! Sharing this means a lot to me because;This poem was written by my grandson; Julian M. Ogans II. Writing is becoming a growing passion for him. I/we are so very proud of him and believe that he is on the right road to discovering his life purpose(s)… He is an editor for his school newspaper! Here he writes an ongoing column as well… This poem was selected for the “DREAMS & FANTASIES” category! He was quite encouraged and well received by all ages. Presenting…
The Journey Of Life By Julian M. Ogans II
I hike my way up the mountain of self-confidence
Fighting through the bitter cold blizzards of brutal honesty
Wondering what awaits at the top
But very quickly do I lose sight of the trail and fall down into the river of disappointment
The water reflecting nothing more than my past sins
I slowly drift into a cavern of darkness
The pitch black enveloping me in a dark cloth
Suffocating me with the toxic smell of failure
Whispers from my past slowly invade my mind
Growing louder and louder echoing inside my head
A ray of hope cut through the darkness
But it didn’t reach me
For a dark hand pulled me under the water
And drowned me in self pity
I open my mouth to scream, but the black water rushed down my throat
Choking me with all my fears
I gave into my self pity and allowed it to pull me into its deep dark depths where all my broken dreams lie
Each one shattered into a thousand pieces
The gravity of my self-doubt pushed me further down towards the bottom
While carnivorous nightmares ate away at my body and feasted on all emotions
They tore away my eyes, preventing me from seeing any sign of hope
Ripped away my ears, stopping me from hearing words of encouragement
And cut out my tongue so that I couldn’t scream for help
Little did I realize that not all of my forgotten dreams were broken
Blind, deaf, and muted to the world I grab on to one fragile dream
And use the one weapon that no man, monster, or rushing water can’t take away
My hands began to grow warm as the dream came to life and sent confidence shooting through my veins
I felt the water rise and part as it shot up in the air
Breaking a hole in the ceiling of the depressing cave
I felt a brilliant ray of hope come down from the sky
Restoring my vision, hearing and my voice!
I rose up from the ground and entered a valley of happiness
Where dreams grow on colossal trees of endless imagination
However, my days here are numbered in this land of prosperity
For I am just one soul, embarking on the journey of life!!
*His poem won first place in the Young Poets division!