Marriage & Addiction
Marriage & Addiction
Step 3 Regular Usage
When addiction progresses it requires a regular fix. The substance abuser will now use others in their attempt to satisfy their addiction. This often leads to a multiplicity of dysfunction on many levels. Satisfying the addiction is often done in secrecy as well as with others. The frequency in which they do so has now escalated and impedes on their day-to-day life. The addiction can still go undetected because they cleverly camouflage or conceal their addiction of choice! As one looks closely the signs are all there. A spouse may not be aware because they can appear normal to a degree. A multiplicity of excuses is rendered when they are questioned? Deception comes along with addiction it can destroy your marriage and other relationships as well
Truth and intimacy are important components in building a good strong marriage!
Step 4 full-blown
Day in and day out the addiction has now taken over. The addict will now do whatever to satisfy his or her obsession that has completely taken control. Their life cycle is getting, using, doing drugs, alcohol or whatever the addiction is… They are now compulsively spiraling increasingly downhill… For many it takes hitting rock bottom before they will admit they need help!
They have indulged themselves to the point that their brain chemistry has changed! To attempt to stop means that they will go through a period of painful withdrawal! The high that they used to receive is now an insatiable voracious uncontrollable craving! A mere ferocious “monkey on their back!” They cannot feel normal unless they are under the influence or indulging in the activity! Their family, friends, job, talents, resources are all being destroyed by their inability to control their compulsive need for a fix!
How interesting that they so paradoxically “Need a fix!” What really needs to be fixed is their deep cavernous inner pain… Addiction is a vicious cycle. If your spouse is in any of these stages it is important to confront them in love. Redemptive confrontation is a way to begin to address whatever the addiction is. If not confronted your love one’s life will spiral out of control if in fact that is not the case already.
Marriage is a wonderful relationship God has created for us to learn how to properly relate to our spouses. It is the ultimate monogamous sacred co-worker relationship! It is through a committed marriage with God as the center one can learn how to overcome their weaknesses. Addiction is a weakness. Drugs, alcohol, illicit sex, pornography or whatever … are all used to help them feel good! However as an addict they have no boundaries and they are constantly seeking more ways to alleviate their uncontrollable desires. This only drives them deeper into despair and uncertainty. Marriage was wonderfully designed by God so we could get some of our needs met. There are some needs that can only be met by God!
A spouse can facilitate the cycle of dysfunctional addiction being broken!!
An intervention is necessary! Once the addiction has been confronted it is important to seek healthier ways to cope. Remember there are many forms of addiction! It can be an addiction to just about anything! Remember; Addiction is a plea for help! There are healthier ways to fill that inner void! There is absolutely nothing in your life that God is not aware of! He Loves you! He wants you to reach out to Him!
Developing a genuine intimate personal relationship with the Lord will help you begin to better cope! Here one must be careful as well! There are those who develop an addiction to religion. They become very religious which also creates a void! It becomes just another escape! This is not the same thing as having a personal relationship with the Lord! It is important to spend time in His Word getting to know Him through His Word! Here you can discover what life is really all about!
One must seek to discover who they are without the addiction! Now that it is out in the open the addiction is exposed! This is what the road to recovery is all about. One must begin to monitor their feelings to see what triggers their desires. What is the root cause of them losing themselves into addiction? How do I begin to move from the addiction being the center of my life? God does have a better way! There is a way out of addiction. Focusing now on your spouse’s strengths is very important! God wants to be the center of your life. “Jesus came that you might have life and has it to the full.” John 10.
Next we will discuss some of the causes of addiction!
See Part 4