There is HELP; Addiction Relief is Possible! Part 5

 

Monkeys

How drugs affect your body and your mind?

Drug abuse continues to escalate. Addiction is real! It is taking its casualties all over the world.  There is help for your addiction! Drugs change the natural chemistry of the human body. For some drugs  are necessary therapeutic medicinal healing aids to facilitate improving ones health. For millions of people they help to sustain a certain quality of life. 

 

In cases such as diabetes, heart disease, cancer, infections and  viruses drugs are helpful.  They help to  ease discomfort in broken bones, sprains and the pain of arthritis. These are just a few of the plethora of ailments that are usually controlled by drugs. In these cases they are usually necessary and beneficial. There is HELP for your addiction.

 

Medical drugs are used everyday

Doctors treat many illnesses, diseases and conditions with medical drugs every day! Drugs may be chewed, swallowed, injected, inhaled or sniffed. There are legitimate as well as illegitimate uses for drugs. One can become addicted in both cases. The use of drugs illegally is far more dangerous. When one has a spouse who engages in drugs and or alcohol it is much harder to establish intimacy. Their need for drugs and drinking is more important than their need to be emotionally available.

 

It is not wise to use drugs that are not personally prescribed for you nor those purchased illegally. Drugs alter the chemistry of the brain and make you feel different. A physician takes into consideration your current health status, your weight and symptoms when prescribing a prescription. The more you use drugs the more your brain chemistry becomes altered. There is help for your addiction!

 

You are out of control!

When a person becomes addicted they are out of control. The drug or behavior of choice now has taken over.  And the desire is now to “fix” the way they are feeling. How you feel  takes priority over everything! They are no doubt self-centered and will quite often do whatever is necessary just to “feel good.” This is why it is prefable  to be under the care of a trained physician. They  know how to properly prescribe the proper medication. This is necessary  to address any physical or mental ailments. f you have no self-control. Even under the care of a qualified doctor one can still become chemically dependent and addicted to drugs.

 

Pain is real!

The addict is in pain and has lost their ability to cope with reality unless they are under the influence. Drugs and or alcohol have become the priority! They have developed an unhealthy habit and desire to experience a level of pleasure and/or the need to escape from reality. Life can be difficult and often people are thrust into situations and terrible living conditions that are unbearable.

 

Childhood trauma and cumulative issues not dealt with fester and cause emotional pain. People often carry many unresolved issues into their relationships… This can forbid them from being transparent. This can also hinder them from maturing. The marriage then often suffers from neglect and lack of intimacy. This causes much conflict within he marriage. The spouse with the addiction is often emotionally unavailable. It is important to seek viable help.

 

Your marriage really  should be a priority

To some marriage can be a game rather than a sacred union. Rather than being responsible the addicted spouse is selfish. A secondary marriage addiction example. I was the Sacramento Marriage Examiner for many years… There was a man in the area who was arrested for participating in numerous marriage unions. He also arranged as many as 39 bogus marriages for others. 

 

He profited for a fee at the expense of others unhappiness. This was not good.   It was a total disregard for moral principles. This was a terrible selfish abusive pattern in operation. Marriage is supposed to be sacred. It is important to take time to get to know who you are marrying… This man’s selfish deceptive actions hurt many people. He had no intention of making a virtuous commitment. It is evident that he had an unhealthy addiction to the idea of marriage and fulfilling his own desires.

 

The basis of a good healthy relationship is trust

Trust can be shattered like a glass vase. Leaving one traumatized! It can erode when one is not attentive to the needs of their spouse creating an abyss. Marriage is about coming together and building a great partnership. Affair proof your marriage. Keep God in the center of your marriage! It can be tedious regaining trust again but it is possible. It is always important to be honest about your pain and however you are feeling.

 

Disillusioned by a break in trust usually leaves the spouse empty and needy. Which also makes them vulnerable… Building or establishing an ongoing relationship with the Lord will build a stronger foundation that will help to keep you anchored. God is available 24/7! The Lord is true to His Word! Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight!” Proverbs 3.

 

Sexual Addiction

Sexual addiction is quite threatening to a marriage. It is an intimacy problem. Millions of people in the US sand all around the world uffer from sexual addictions. The person with a sexual addiction has a hard time connecting to and making a monogamous commitment. They are caught up in a vicious cycle of having their own needs met at any cost. The spouse’s needs are usually ignored and neglected due to the spouses self-indulgence. It is important to keep and maintain healthy boundaries in your marriage.

 

Respect your marriage as well as the marriages of others. Stop giving yourself away. This should NOT be. Don’t just connect to anything or anybody. You should learn to be happy by yourself before you think that you can be happy with your spouse. Revisit your vows don’t let them become mere words. Remember; You both committed not only to your one another but to GOD! There is HELP for your addiction.

 

There is HELP for your Addiction!

Addiction that is not addressed will not just go away. REPENT! Commit or recommit to God and your spouse. Tell them you need HELP! Tell them you are sincerely sorry. If you are not truly sorry you will repeatedly fall into a pattern of addiction. Restoration is a choice; it takes a lot of work but it is possible. You will have to build a new relationship with a strong foundation of transparency and trust. With the HELP of the Lord; You can come forth from the fire of addiction like pure gold!

 

You  Really NEED HELP!

Godly counsel and much time spent in fervent prayer are needed along with a necessary redemptive confrontation. The confrontation means I care enough to “Speak the Truth in Love.” Confrontation brings the issues to the forefront. You must be willing to face your demons. Demons meaning the supernatural malevolent influences that have held you captive to do harm to your mind-body and soul. They keep you in a daily battle to control your destiny. This does not have to be. There is NO power stronger than GOD!

 

This has caused you to hurt those around you as well. They have suffered greatly. Although through a lot of it you were somewhat unconscious; start by apologizing for your behavior. Yes you were under the influence. It is important that the issues are then addressed immediately. Keep it real! There is HELP for your addiction.

 

Deal with your issues

If you or your spouse has an addiction of any kind; Please DO NOT delay seeking help. The longer you wait the harder it is to make the necessary lifestyle and environment changes. You can be delivered! You must want to break free! A couple that has a strong healthy marriage bond can be a great mentor and a source of encouragement. The TRUTH always prevails!

 

You have vowed to be there for one another for better or for worse? Begin to take care of yourself and make it a point to look your best. Not just in a superficial way. But to discipline yourself to take better care of your body that houses your soul. Don’t just look good but be or get in a good place emotionally… Embrace moral principles. There is HELP for your addiction.

 

If you are reading this and you are single. Start dealing with your issues now before you commit to marry.  Have a  transparent conversation about addiction prior to marriage. When you marry someone with an addiction you have married their addiction. You get a somewhat superficial façade of who they really are. Such as how they cope when not under the influence. Well usually they don’t. They usually become annoying, impatient and cantankerous It is important to know that a good strong marriage is built on TRUST! If necessary recommit to your vows and start anew.

 

 

GOD CAN HEAL Any Addiction!

The road to recovery and healing will be tedious. There are some who make up their mind and are done with the dysfunctional cycle. They readily hold fast to their dedication to take back control of their life. Others vary some taking longer than others yet, dedicated to changing. Stop making excuses and make it a goal to recapture your self-respect dignity and integrity. You can change but it is your choice. Reach daily for self-control!

Congratulations you are on the right road now! It is called “Straight and Narrow!”  There is HELP for your addiction.

Now let’s get busy moving forward building better, stronger, satisfying, trusting enduring relationships and marriages! Be encouraged to become the “Best You!” Stay on the straight and narrow. “PRAY without ceasing” all throughout your day. This is what keeps us connected to the Lord! This is also how you build a “Solid Rock” intimate relationship with the Lord! Know that Great Healthy Relationships and Great Marriages (without addiction) are truly still possible! GOD IS MORE THAN ABLE!

There is Hope; Addiction Relief is Possible Part 1

 

 

 

Part 1

Addiction relief is possible. Few want to readily openly discuss addiction.  But since there has been such an overwhelming influx of problems worldwide related to addiction it warrants the spotlight.   But, there are reasons for alarm when an addiction is apparent. This  needs to be addressed. It will not just go away.  If not it will at some point impede upon your relationship.

 

Monkeys

 

Transparency is necessary in order to build intimacy. Your addiction will inhibit intimacy developing within your marriage. The addiction also prohibits you from being transparent. Love, transparency, trust and intimacy are essential components in building a healthy safe satisfying marriage.

 

Your Addiction says you are hurting

A clear indicator that you are hurting is addiction. You have simply found an unhealthy way to cope with your deep pain. Your addiction can be to alcohol, cocaine, heroin, marijuana.  Uppers, downers, prescription drugs, gambling, caffeine, pornography and or  illicit sex.  People food and even shopping. Yes and there are more… Even wanting approval from others can be addicting. Guess what? You have only found a way to momentarily relieve or somewhat ease your infuriating inner pain; it is still there. The addiction is a flag that something is wrong. You need to seek a healthy resolve.  Addiction relief is possible.

 

I say momentarily because while under the influence or indulging in the activity of choice you are able to somewhat escape. However the systemic cause remains because the pain returns whenever you are alone. Often more vehement than ever before. This causes you to pursue passionately that which you are addicted to. Having an addiction of any kind is serious. Many can be life threatening because you are out of control. Your desires consume you and disables your ability to be responsible or demonstrate  contol.  The ability to genuinely  love is questionable. Instead the activity controls you and you will do whatever it takes to get a “quick fix!”

 

The misuse  and dependency  upon opiates has become of great concern worlwide.  Not everyone becomes addicted from  illegal drugs.  Many have become addicted through the use of prescriptions medications. This should not be. This will greatly impact your spouse, children,  home, work  and career.

 

How does this impact my marriage?

Good question. Marriage is a partnership and when one has an addiction they are not able to fully commit because the addiction is often their main priority.  Well, the spouse that is unaware is often kept in the dark. Secrets, lies and deception accompany addiction. The addiction is used to fill the insatiable void in the addicted partner’s heart. It instead becomes their companion. This leaves their spouse out in the cold. Know, addiction relief is possible.

 

Your addiction creates undo tension. You need to learn to communicate openly and honeestly with your spouse.  Afterall you are supposed to be one.  Your addiction is robbinh you of building a beter relationship.

 

Causes or addiction triggers

A disordered family, peer pressure, cultural influences, abuse, incest, rape, molestation, lack of self-esteem and a weakness to experiment can all contribute to one developing an addiction.

 

We live in a drug friendly worldly environment. Daily we are bombarded with the invitation to take this pill or that pill. Notice how many television commercials attempt to sell you something to feel better.  Look how the dinner hour has become the prime time for what I call  commercial pushers. There are a multiplicity of pushers of all sort. Doctors also oblige patients with tranquilizers, stimulants, pain pills, sleeping pills even pills to wake you up!

 

Commitment in marriage is important

Keeping your commitments are important.  Embracing your vows is important.  Did you not commit to Him as well?  One thing that needs to be promoted more is a personal relationship with the Lord! Marriage is ordained by God. Did you know marriage was designed to be the ultimate sacred relationship between a man and a woman.  A strong marraige  can also help you prioritize life and put all your other relationships into their proper perspective.  Your marriage  can help you develop a healthier living environment as you work together

 

Building trust is an important part of marriage. Addiction relief is possible. 

 

As we commit to building healthier home environments we contribute to lessening the number of addictions continuing to escalate.   Not everyone has addiction issues.  In some  addictions have unconsciously been passed down through generations.   A safe home environment does not  always exclude addiction; but it does serve to nurture those who are there.   If this has been the case the possibility to break the generational cycle of dysfunction becomes attainable. You can change this! Yes, addiction relief is possible.

 

Develping a Healthy Support System

It is important to seek ways to validate one another. To develop an ongoing healthy support system that says I love and sincerely care. No this does not mean you support the addiction.   Neither do you allow it to become  the white elephant in the room no one notices.  However, you must confront the addiction.  You  can also find healthy ways to make them feel  uncomfortable. Also learn to separate the behavior from the person.  Encourage them to be the best they can be. Find ways to help them become who they were created to be without the addiction.

 

Working together

God created each of us uniquely and we have varying temperaments. Our needs are different when these needs are not met a void is created and therefore one seeks to often erroneously fill that void. Marriage is about working together to find healthier ways to fill some of those voids with a committed partner… There are some voids that can only be filled by God.

Your partner is not responsible for your addiction you are. Both must hold one another accountable for their actions! You both are accountable to God for the vows you made… Remember, “for better or for worse…”

In this 21st century emotional gasoline has flamed the fires of addiction. Pain, grief and stress not dealt with properly are great contributors that drive unhealthy desires. This does not have to be. God’s Holy Spirit His Comforter is more than able.

Addiction is big business therefore it is often rationalized and one can easily find access and support. Your addiction does not usually happen overnight it is a gradual process that begins with a series of steps…  So remember; theis help.  Addiction relief is possible!

Next we will discuss some of those steps;

Part 2

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