Do You Need Stress Relief ?

Do you need STRESS RELIEF?

Are you stressed? Is there something weighing on your mind? Is there some inner conflict? Is there something happening in your life and you don’t know how things will work out? You are not alone! At some point in time everyone experiences a certain degree of stress. Feelings actually lets you know that you are still here! A small amount of stress is actually healthy. It keeps you on your toes and motivates you to shift. Do you need stress relief?

Life today can be quite complex at times. There are many pressures on varying diverse levels, more so at times for some. You can actually worry yourself sick. To name a few stress affects your happiness, brings on acne, hair loss, weight gain, weight loss, high blood pressure, panic attacks, anxiety, impacts your sex drive as well as hampers your infertility. If you are experiencing a significant amount of stress don’t wait until you are completely over whelmed to find some relief. Conflict and stress are a normal part of life. If your patience is getting close to nil know; you are reaching your limit. Don’t wait until you explode and get really angry to express yourself. This will only further complicate the situation. While angry and out of control you say and do things that can be destructive. Begin to shift.

Stress is defined as; “Forces from the outside world impinging on the individual. Stress is a normal part of life that can help us learn and grow. Conversely, stress can cause us significant problems.

Stress releases powerful neurochemicals and hormones that prepare us for action (to fight or flee). If we don’t take action, the stress response can lead to health problems. Prolonged, uninterrupted, unexpected, and unmanageable stresses are the most damaging types of stress.” medicine net.com

When you are stressed it becomes difficult to respond properly. Many often become verbally or emotionally abusive. For some they respond physically , in an inappropriate manner when they lack proper coping skills. When stressed you can become tense, it may be harder to concentrate, you may even get a headache or your heart begins to race. This is a clear indication that YOU NEED to shift. Here is something that will help you. Imagine a cup of ice cubes being slowly yet gently poured over your head. Allow yourself to feel the coolness of the ice gently melting over you. Begin to Allow your anger to subside. Please! Think before you respond!

S STOP!

T THINK!

R REFOCUS!

E ENERGIZE

S STAY

S SAFE!

When the pressures of life begin to get to you it is important that you get a grip on your emotions. No, I am not saying go into denial! How you feel is important. Your feelings need to be validated. Depression will result if you don’t. Depression is anger turned inside! When it gets to this point you may need professional help! Seek out resources for anger management if you have “out of control behavior.” Quite often you have learned some unhealthy dynamics that need to be changed. It may be hard for you to just say how you are feeling without being so angry. Your anger is a clear indication that you are also hurting. This will often result in something or someone triggering your anger and setting you “off.” If this is the case know that you are being controlled by remote. Learn how to stay “on” track!

Here are a few ways to relieve stress.

If you are stressed? It is important to begin to spend some quiet time to unwind. Writing a letter to anyone who has hurt you is good. Express exactly how you feel. This is for your eyes only. Then tear it up and throw it away! You can also get an empty chair; imagine that the person is sitting there, and say to whomever has hurt you how you feel. Take control and release any anger, hurt, shame or disapointment! You are now beginning to take out the trash that has begun to weigh you down. Listen to some relaxing music, exercising, or just taking a walk helps. You now have decided to no longer let what has happened to sit on the shelf of your mind and ferment! You are now beginning to move towards letting it go. This also heps you move towards wholeness.

If your family is stressed? Set aside some quiet time aside from the television or any outside distractions and have a family “pow wow.” Allow those concerned to briefly talk about how they are feeling. Then have them talk about how things can be improved. It is helpful to have one of the children to moderate you will be surprised. Your objective is to create a healthy, loving , open, nurturing, safe environment.

Is your marriage stressed? You need to set aside some quiet time where the two of you can calmly discuss what are the issues at hand. Rekindle that love that brought the two of you together! Restore the JOY of just being together. When two together row a boat it gets to the desired destination faster. Having a weekly date night is great as well! Remember you cannot change what has happened. But you can decide to go forward. Yes, you will probably have to revisit where you have been. But this is to remind you of where you do not want to stay or continue to go.

Is your job stressing you out? You need to make an appointment to talk to your supervisor, boss, employees or co workers and let them know how you are feeling. Make sure you are not angry when you do this. Find a neutral spot if possible. Writing down what you want to say will help you stay focused. If you feel that you may lose your thoughts or say something inappropriate reschedule. Graciously delay it until you are ready. The point is you want to take control not loose it. If they are not willing; it make be better to begin looking for employment somewhere else. If you don’t at some point your health will become affected working continuously under such poor conditions.

Incorporating prayer and meditating on the scriptures will yield much peace in your life. Actively implementing the principles are key to resolving inner conflict and stress. The scriptures where meant to point us to a better way of life. To develop a personal relationship with God our Creator. God has provided a wonderful plan of salvation for all who are willing to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. Jesus is able to save you from the power of sin reigning in your life! Jesus came to show us that better Way! To help you discover your true purpose in life!

Stress again is a normal part of life. Taking the time to communicate your feelings in a healthy manner means you care. Redemptively confronting what ever the problem is or however you are feeling is always much better for you and those around you. Everyone has a not so good day from time to time. Don’t major in the minors! Just make sure that stress has not become the theme for your everyday lifestyle. Life is too short and precious to spend the majority of your time stressed! It is important to begin to work towards having a healthier balance in life. Begin moving towards creating a warm, more peaceful, safe and loving environment! Learning coping skills and ways to manage stress will also result in a healthier outlook as well as becoming healthier spiritually, physically and emotionally.

“Beyond The Walls” – Music That Will Calm The Agitations of the Soul

Monitor Your Stress Level

The “Nobody’s Perfect” Club

The “Nobody’s Perfect” Club

The longer I live the more I realize how utterly important it is to develop an intimate personal relationship with the Lord. I am told that when a teller is trained in the banking industry they are taught how to recognize the authenticity of currency. Therefore whenever a counterfeit bill is passed they are able to recognize it.

We live in a real world that is full of systems of deception created to distract us from the genuine purpose of life. Our purpose is to glorify God. Without the Holy Spirit as your navigator you will get towed right along. This deception has further infiltrated the Church. It beckons those who are willing to make excuses for their shortcomings, to excuse self-gratification as a mere attribute to mankind’s imperfections. To immorally satisfy the carnal appetite to all who are willing to submit to the ” well nobody is perfect club” will teach you although “the earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof” He doesn’t really know how to bless His children. Because he intends for them to stay dependent on anything and everybody until they leave this world. Although they don’t believe blessings are just material, spiritual growth and development is optional. I warn you this will only enslave you to a life dependent upon sin.

We really miss the point . You see God doesn’t force us He allows us to choose. Instead we often choose to justify a life were sin abounds. This gives us unlimited privileges in the “nobody’s perfect club”.

The “nobody’s perfect club” allows easy access to unlimited excuses. It has a plethora of earthly benefits. You can live any way you want, say anything you want, little or no study required. Listening to an occasional lecture may be required to help you with attendance kudos. Listening not required just say amen when it gets too quiet. Guarantees access to many fringe benefits I prefer not to mention. You may even receive a B.A. (born again) if you don’t rock the boat. You see we are saved by grace. That gives you a license to indulge yourself. After all “nobody’s perfect.” One caution, you may be persecuted or covertly disfellowshipped if you decide to “study to show thyself approved unto God”. Please if you have accepted “Christ as your personal Savior” allow Him to work in your life. Allow Him to activate the Holy Spirit in your life. To make spiritual deposits to your eternal account that yields a harvest of blessings. If you have not accepted Him “accept Him NOW.” Ask Him into your life this very moment. It will be a journey like no other. If you have grown slack in your commitment (to His principles activated in your life) recommit!

God created us to live a life pleasing in His sight. Life is not a movie and church is not a scene. Although it’s full of actors, it’s serious business. Please bear with me. You see I have been in church all my life. But I still can’t quite grasp why many really don’t believe. God really does hear all and see all. If we did it would eliminate a lot of the charades. You see seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness will really add all you need in this life. What do you mean? The Sermon on the Mount in Matthew really contains a wealth of knowledge. Jesus discusses a multiplicity of issues. Those same issues are prevalent today.

We need spiritual training. The WORD of God contains invaluable instructions. It gives marvelous examples to help us from falling prey to non-biblical unspiritual teachings. It even tells how “Jesus’ blood can cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” The majority in the church is you and Jesus. If you don’t stand for Jesus you will fall for anything. His WORD will equip you to discern truth from error. Remember that bank currency I talked about. Jesus stresses the importance of God’s way being the best way. Don’t allow anyone to make withdrawals from your spiritual account. (By the way nobody is perfect! ) But don’t forget. The power of His blood yields spiritual dividends for those who call and trust Him as Savior and Lord. What’s a Savior? Oh! He helps us from the power of sin in our life. Don’t relinquish spiritual deposits only God can provide, for membership in the “nobody’s perfect club”.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, life coach and ordained minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” and just released her second book “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married”.

DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published. DeBorrah along with her husband is co-founder of Alpha 7 Ministries, a Counseling and Music Ministry that reaches “Beyond The Walls”. There are times when we all need some encouragement in our walk with the Lord. The Counseling Ministry was designed to encourage, motivate and uplift you in your journey. The Music Ministry produces and records music for every musical taste: Contemporary Christian, Gospel, Praise & Worship, Instrumental Gospel/Jazz, and Easy Listening.

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PRAYER For MARRIAGE RESTORATION

PRAYER FOR MARRIAGE RESTORATION”
Give Up “Me-ness” for “We-ness”

Marriage is ordained by God! It was meant to be a Covenant relationship sanctioned by a Covenant God! A Covenant is a sacred vow witnessed by God! For Christians it is the most solemn agreement that one can make between a man and woman! A Covenant requires sacrifice it represents the merging of two lives. The “two becoming one.” This does not mean one gives up their own personal identity. Two strong hearts join together as One! They cleave together not out of neediness, but because of an undying Love & Commitment and the desire to have a loving complimenting companion!

Many marriages are dissolving for a plethora of reasons! Many are and have been “unequally yoked” from the very beginning. Many have embraced worldly concepts and the idea of “what is good for me” takes precedent. Many have allowed manipulation and deception to embed itself in the relationship that only smothers intimacy! Many have behaved so repulsively towards one another that respect and sensitivity have been cast into the sea of unforgiveness! Many have allowed domestic violence and abuse! Many are bound by compulsion and ambivalence that only serves to vamp the very life out of one another… Instead of building a healthy home environment. They build a marital nest of confusion, pain and unhappiness. Marriage was never meant to be a competition of wills nor a degrading of one another’s character. Divorce comes about because of the hardness of the heart. Divorce is leaving many casualties!

Life presents many challenges as well as Celebrations! Marriage is about learning how to commit to someone who you can learn to be transparent with. To build and share an ongoing growing, loving, lasting mutually satisfying physical, emotional and spiritual relationship. To nurture, one another and give each other healthy space as well. To have one another’s best interest at heart. To celebrate and encourage each other through the challenges that life presents from time to time. To together live your lives to please God an allow him to use you to spread that love to others! Just think how life would be if this was really the case! God really has a marvelous workable plan for marriage! Instead, God’s design for marriage is constantly being pushed to the background! Too many instead embrace infidelity and alternative sexual relationships…..

If you are at a place in life and you know that your marriage is not all that it is meant to be… Or if you are having an affair either emotional or physical … Or if you never really thought about the vows you made or the seriousness of marriage…. Or if you have let anything and everyone come between you… Know it will not just get better on its own. Marriage like anything else of value takes work! You must do something , don’t continue to live in a mystic haze of unhappiness! Repent! Which simply means to CHANGE it! Keep in mind you can only change yourself! Think about it! Had you ever really thought about God knows what’s up? You are not fooling Him! Start by giving the courtesy that you extend to your friends, coworkers, acquaintances, lover, strangers or whoever to the one who you supposedly committed to Love, Honor, Trust and……

Again and I think it is worth repeating that divorce comes about because the hardening of the heart. Here is what the WORD of God says: “And He answered and said to them, “What did Moses command you?” They said , “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her.” And JESUS answered and said to them, “Because of the hardness of your heart he wrote this precept. But from the beginning of the Creation, GOD made them male and female . For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are not longer two, but one flesh. There fore what GOD has joined together, let Not man separate…” Mark 10

Take some time and really think about where you are going in your marriage? Have you taken a detour? Pray this prayer or pray your own prayer if you are seeking restoration for your marriage! It is your heart that the Lord is concerned with. Not how you make things appear to others. Embrace the powerfulness of TRUTH! It is here you will discover the TRUE LOVE that can only come from being connected to God! Life is precious! You can never ever really be happy when you jump from relationship to relationship without dissolving the former conflict. It just builds up and gains momentum and at some point those issues will appear again. Give yourself the gift of breaking the cycle of dysfunctional and sometimes generational unhappy relationships. It’s never too late! Commence to commit to discover and learn healthier relational dynamics then implement them in your marriage NOW! Pledge to committing to the building of a lasting, secure, committed, satisfying, realistic, rewarding, marriage where Love, Respect and mutual concern take the helm. And let “Jesus take the Wheel!” Begin to give up “Me-ness for We-ness!

Father,

We first want Thank to say You for being our God and our Father! We Thank You Lord, that we have You to come to at anytime, anywhere and in any and every situation. Lord we Thank You for Your precious Son Jesus Christ who sacrificed His life that we may live life to its fullest. Lord, we come in the name of Jesus asking that you would open the pathway for healing for ________ (name of spouse and his wife ( husband) and restore their marriage. As your servant Lord I come realizing that you know what the needs are here. Without saying Lord you alone know what is going on, and all that has ever happened!

Lord, I pray that you will allow healing and reconciliation to take place. That whatever hurts or disappointments they have experienced can be mended through the power of your undying eternal Love. We realize Father that they cannot change anything that has happened. But, they can go forth together keeping, renewing and once again honoring their vows. Father we realize that much spiritual warfare is about them. We realize that it wants to divide and separate them. We ask Lord that they invite you into the messiness to bring about order! Lord we realize that ALL of your promises are true. We ask that you endow them with the necessary strength and wisdom to endure.

Father we ask that you would knit their hearts closely together and allow nothing else to come between them. Lord we ask that they both take personal inventory, repent and seek forgiveness for any wrong doing. We pray that they extend love and patience to one another and that the lines of communication, sensitivity as well as understanding are once again opened. We ask that you will allow all the pain, hurt and disappointment to begin to subside. Lord we ask that forgiveness is welcomed by each of them. Lord we ask that you would allow your JOY to flow once again from heart to heart between them. Father we ask that you direct them as they seek you first in building trust, transparency and intimacy. Father we pray peace over their household. Lord we Thank You for being who You are and we realize that all the power, honor and glory belongs to You now and forever, and for this we give you the PRAISE. In the WONDERFUL name of JESUS ….…

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, life coach and ordained minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” and just released her second book “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married”.

DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published. DeBorrah along with her husband is co-founder of Alpha 7 Ministries, a Counseling and Music Ministry that reaches “Beyond The Walls”. There are times when we all need some encouragement in our walk with the Lord. The Counseling Ministry was designed to encourage, motivate and uplift you in your journey. The Music Ministry produces and records music for every musical taste: Contemporary Christian, Gospel, Praise & Worship, Instrumental Gospel/Jazz, and Easy Listening.

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KIMBERLY ANYADIKE – Soaring Above The Eagles

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KIMBERLY ANYADIKE

Soaring Above the Eagles.

 

There still are many young people who are responsible, gifted, talented, productive  determined, unwavering, and goal oriented.  We want to encourage this generation to push through regardless of  the economic challenges our nation is  facing  or any  personal obstacles they encounter and continue to pursue and  reach towards whatever their goal is!   Isaiah 40 tells us that “we can soar  on wings like eagles” Kimberly actually soared above the eagles.   Determination is a wonderful motivator.   Here is one inspiring youth that did just that!

 

I had never even heard of  Kimberly Anyadike, but I got excited when I heard what she  had accomplished.  Kimberly did not let her age, color nor financial situation deter her from reaching a noteworthy goal.  Kimberly has  persevered against all odds!  Kimberly did not do this for the celebrity status she  said   “I wanted to inspire other kids…”

 

“15-year-old Kimberly Anyadike finished a historical  record-breaking flight across the country, becoming what is believed to be the youngest African-American female to pilot an airplane from coast to coast.” She went from Compton, California to New Newport ,  VA and back.  Accompanied  with  an adult safety pilot and a (87) eighty-seven year old World War II  veteran,  who actually flew with the Tuskegee Airman.  They  both  were there to cheer her on and make sure she made the long journey safely.  Kimberly goal was also to honor the many Tuskegee Airmen she met along the way.

 

Kimberly acquired her flight skills to navigate both an airplane and a helicopter from:  Tomorrow’s Aeronautical Museum in Compton.  Founder  Robin  Petgrave   is an experienced,  accomplished  master pilot .  Robin has many accomplishments, he has a wonderful   relationship  and  rapport with the children. He is  so gifted at his craft that he can  actually land a helicopter on a “dime.” It is  here Kimberly learned to soar  and  participated in an after-school program   that offers flight lessons to many underprivileged children and at risk children.  

 

They have  a  fantastic  unbelievable  program here! They offer positive  alternatives  to drugs, violence, gangs,  and destructive behaviors.  The  children, youth and young adults  learn and acquire a multiplicity of engineering , flight and  business skills throughout  the program as well. They have children of all Colors from all walks of life! Many others are learning to soar,  they have capable  licensed pilots as young as (11) eleven years old. Here they are learning ,  lives are being changed  and they are  making a difference!

 

Their goal is to change communities and help children one at a time.  They provide children a place off the streets.  At the Tomorrow Aeronautical Museum  they are known as “Aviation Angels.”  Here Kimberly was motivated,  she  also learned that the Tuskegee Airmen were told that they did not have the necessary intelligence or skill set to become Airmen.     But  history  tells us otherwise.  Their pictures are pasted throughout the museum. Kimberly says  “They left such a great legacy,” she said. “I had big shoes to fill. All they wanted to do was to be patriots for this country. They were told no, that they were stupid, that they didn’t have cognitive development to fly planes. They didn’t listen. They just did what they wanted to do.”

 

Kimberly made many people proud of her. She represents a growing crowd of determined youth!  It pays not to listen when you know that your goal is to be fruitful,  productive and the outcome will be beneficial to many. The Tuskegee Airmen efforts  made many years ago helped to encourage Kimberly as well as is continuing to encourage many others.  During her amazing trek  across the country Kimberly also made (13) stops .  Those stops were to meet  many of the Tuskegee Airmen who are still alive! There are a growing number of children  that are gifted, talented, responsible and determined.  Kimberly Anyadike is certainly one.  We salute you Kimberly keep up the good work!  You are  inspiring and a wonderful role model for us all. You certainly are a true “Aviation Angel!”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, life coach and ordained minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” and just released her second book “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married”.

DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published. DeBorrah along with her husband is co-founder of Alpha 7 Ministries, a Counseling and Music Ministry that reaches “Beyond The Walls”. There are times when we all need some encouragement in our walk with the Lord. The Counseling Ministry was designed to encourage, motivate and uplift you in your journey. The Music Ministry produces and records music for every musical taste: Contemporary Christian, Gospel, Praise & Worship, Instrumental Gospel/Jazz, and Easy Listening.

RELIABLE PEOPLE?

 

In this day and age it is becoming increasingly difficult to find reliable people.  This is an interesting, fascinating  21st century indeed! Commitment to promises  have become vague or they either are thrown into the sea of temporary amnesia.    Did I say that?  But I thought that you were supposed to…  You have heard the saying *“When the going gets rough, the tough gets going.”  These no doubt(s) are some difficult times.  But God knew way back when  from the very beginning what would be happening now!  This is why GOD is  so AWESOME!  In spite of what is going on if we just  continue  to look to Him,  He will and can see you through whatever comes your way.   For sure one thing remains the same; GOD STILL is, was and always WILL be RELIABLE!

 

Remember,* “When the going gets rough, the tough gets going.”

 

Those who you thought were reliable,  quite often;  you have now found out that was only in the moment.  In order to keep your head above water you have to stay focused.   It is so easy to agree to something when you are on the receiving end.  But when the rubber meets the road and things are not turning out the way they thought.  Be prepared.  When a person has not really invested themselves into something it is easy for them to just walk away.  You know and they know that you have put yourself out for them.  But things just have not worked out like ….  So what do you do?  How about having a pity party?  Do you bury your head in the sand like an ostrich?

 

No, instead you must look inward and  upward.  God really does know all and sees all!  You realize that they are much more concerned about how things appear rather than how they really are.   Commitment has become a fleeting virtue.  Nowadays people commit and say “I DO” until death us to do part.  But they “don’t.”   Actually  they initially mean  “I DO”;  but it’s really until  we do not feel the same way about one another  anymore!  Then  it’s time to move on… In order to survive in these tuff times you are  going to have to develop some tough skin to guard your heart!  Remember *”when the going gets rough, the tough gets going”… So now is the time to really get to going…

 

One  must become resilient!    This will help  you to “bounce back” from,  protect and cushion you from any future  unforeseen bruises, bumps , disappointments and burns ahead. Some days may be harder than others but regardless of what is going on  it is important  to know;  God still has everything under His control!    Life is a test;  with God there is no failure.  This is why it is so very important to seek Him above  any and everything else.  Nourish your inner self  with the  delightful Fruit of  His SPIRIT !  His Fruit is  always ripe for the picking.  Self control and patience  are a part of His  viable life sustaining Fruit.  These are dependable  quality attributes  to nurture in oneself.  They also are reliable traits that will help you weather any unforeseen pandemonium that’s ahead!

 

Life has a way of presenting challenges.   When this happens many  readily abandon  Godly principles,  selfishly regress  and  result to doing what is best for them.  They lay aside what God has to say and do “what is right in their own eyes.”  This has been true from the very beginning .  There has been an ever increasing shift away from  God’s principles for  life and  living.   Now, high blood pressure, panic attacks, depression, anxiety, and or impatience rules instead, they begin to operate in a survival mode.  

 

Many have resorted to simply compartmentalizing their spiritual life to a weekend pastime.  During the week they proceed living life and engulfing themselves in a secular worldly lifestyle where just about anything goes.  Laying aside  “thus says the Lord” and embracing  whatever feels right in the moment.  Operating in a survival mode embraces,  anesthetizing  and indulging in any type of self satisfying pleasure, fantasy or recreation that suits their fancy.   Come Sunday they “go to Church” not really realizing that we are the Church…

 

The world has lost the lid and “Pandora’s box” is wide open.   Denial has clouded and shrouded discretion and deceived many.    Caught up in a seductive whirlwind of curiosity,    many have found their place dipping and dabbling in all its self gratifying pleasures.    Many of which are quite often addicting pleasures.  Reliability and  valor  abandoned.  Have you ever heard the term “Pandora’s Box has lost its lid”?  Greek Mythology has taken on somewhat of a reality in this 21^st century.  Ponder this for a moment,  according to Wikipedia;

“After Prometheus theft of the secret of fire Zeus ordered Hephaestus to create the woman Pandora as part of the punishment for mankind. Pandora was given many seductive gifts from Aphrodite, Hermes, Hera, Charites, and Horae (according to Works and Days). For fear of additional reprisals, Prometheus warned his brother Epimetheus not to accept any gifts from Zeus, but Epimetheus did not listen, and married Pandora. Pandora had been given a large jar and instruction by Zeus to keep it closed, but she had also been given the gift of curiosity, and ultimately opened it. When she opened it, all of the evils, ills, diseases, and burdensome labor that mankind had not known previously, escaped from the jar, but it is said, that at the very bottom of her box, there lay hope.”

There is no reason to think Pandora acted out of malice in opening the jar, for she was exercising her curiosity, and when she saw what was let out of it, she quickly closed it.

 

God never meant that life as “His child” to become drudgery.  Nor did He intend for us to be unhappy dissatisfied or wanting.  He did mean for us to be responsible and reliable and keep our commitments. As Hid children we should “forever becoming.”   Meaning continuously growing spiritually, emotionally, responsibly and…  Jesus came to point us to a better Way.  He came to clear the path to the “Narrow path” that leads to Him.  Although life takes its turns with Jesus Christ as your personal Savior you have an ever present Guide and Comforter.  His promise to “never leave or forsake you/us”  is TRUE!

 

Due to this current global recession many are impacted directly or indirectly on many levels.  The rich, middle class, poor and in between…  The secure reliable future “nest egg” that was stored and supposedly safely tucked away in many cases has drastically dwindled.   That cash reserved for emergencies has helped to offset the    climbing monthly budget, gone.  The cost of gas, food, clothing and living expenses have skyrocketed.  Have you noticed how the portions or content sizes as well as the amount of ingredients have changed in a lot of items?  We get less for more.  Bargains are fewer.   Who would have ever thought?   It is very important to put or begin putting your TRUST in God.  Here is where true security and significance lies.   For sure, one thing that remains the same GOD Still is, was and always WILL be RELIABLE!

 * It was Joseph P. Kennedy (1888-1969), the father of (U.S.) President John F. Kennedy who said it originally. It was however popularized by Billy Ocean’s song

 
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, life coach and ordained minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” and just released her second book “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married”.

DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published. DeBorrah along with her husband is co-founder of Alpha 7 Ministries, a Counseling and Music Ministry that reaches “Beyond The Walls”. There are times when we all need some encouragement in our walk with the Lord. The Counseling Ministry was designed to encourage, motivate and uplift you in your journey. The Music Ministry produces and records music for every musical taste: Contemporary Christian, Gospel, Praise & Worship, Instrumental Gospel/Jazz, and Easy Listening.

A GREAT MARRIAGE

A GREAT MARRIAGE

Is it  still possible?

Divorce is raging a serious battle within our homes and congregations.   When a couple has been called to ministry I believe we have an obligation to uphold the marriage vows we speak, teach or preach about.  I  am thankful that we have been able to uphold our commitment to one another all these years.  But I realize it is not because of us it is because of the Lord!  Marriage God’s way does work.  I give Him full credit for keeping it uppermost in our minds the necessity of  living out those vows we made. A great marriage helps you to strengthen  your love, trust, intimacy, transparency and  so much more.   The path  you  walk is only as strong  to the degree,  you live out the very principles you talk about .

 

We after thirty eight years continue to refine our relationship. We have five (5)  grown children four (4) who are married.   I say this because this is not just words for kudos.  I realize that  there is  very serious spiritual warfare that continuously attempts  to come  against marriages.   Therefore I want to encourage others to uphold God’s Design for marriage. 

 

I am “Pro Marriage!”  

 

This 21^st century has ushered in some strange and disturbing things in regards to marriage.  Marriage is the first institution that was designed by God.  His way was designed to last a lifetime.  A great  Christian marriage  consists of one man and one woman united  in Holy Matrimony.   There is a special, unique,  unexplainable bond that takes place during this committed union.  It is spiritual as well as an emotional  bond and yes physical as well!  It grows and flourishes as you continue to keep your commitment to one another and the Lord as well!  According to the Word of God “The two become one flesh”.

 

A great marriage consists of a relationship where mutual respect and love coexist.  Intimacy is a crucial part of this relationship as well.  Here is where you learn to become transparent.  It is also quite important that  together you must  build TRUST in your relationship.   You must ask and  allow Him within the center of your circle.   The ring is symbolic of that circle.

 

When difficult or painful situations arise, and they will, together you must sincerely attempt to come to a resolution employing His principles.   Don’t  go into denial!  Get creative! You must make a sincere attempt to take time to build  a mutually,  enjoyable, satisfying ,  environment together that will help you weather the storms of life.  You must continually  learn to nurture your relationship.   This will also enhance your intimacy,  spiritually, mentally and  yes physically.  If you have not begun to do so it is never too late to start.

 

You must learn to submit to one another.  Submission  is an act of love.    Read I Peter.  It is during submission you learn to take into consideration the needs of one another as  a priority.  You must learn to walk this path in a concerted cadence.    Great marriages don’t just happen.  It takes a willing, committed,  man and woman to make a great  marriage work.  Today many change partners like trying on a new pair of shoes.  They keep trying until …

 

Today it is somewhere between 55% – 60% of marriages that fail.   This was not meant to be.  The Word says “What God has joined together let not man put asunder.”   I think there is just cause in saying  that God’s principles have been left out of the equation.  Somewhere along the line you have gotten off track.  Many really do not honor  their marriage vows.  Were those vows just words?  Or is now that the world has presented you with so many alternatives,  you? This has  a lot to do with why so many marriages are going  awry.   We who say we are believers must look to God not to the world.  Each partner in the marriage has a moral responsibility to make the marriage flourish.   What happened to all that commitment?   A great marriage was not made to seem as though it was a sentence.  It was designed to be a  healthy, growing, mutually satisfying , rewarding  partnership!

 

When building a great marriage it is  very important to keep the fires of desire burning.  Do not allow the passion  to fizzle out.  Continue to stir up the excitement you had spending time together.  If it has fizzled rekindle the flame.   Allow one another some space as well.  It is natural to do things apart that you enjoy too.   That just makes you value the time when you come together that much more!   A great  marriage  should be tended like a precious antique.  It gets better with age … Each marriage is uniquely different.  Together discover what is enjoyable and continue to add flavor to your relationship no matter what age you are.  And yes, a great marriage is still possible!  But always  keep the flames of  love, trust, intimacy, transparency going and burning within… Continue to find ways to build a loving, healthy, relaxing home environment.  This is what  creates an endless circle of  LOVE as well as A GREAT MARRIAGE!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, life coach and ordained minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” and just released her second book “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married”.

DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published. DeBorrah along with her husband is co-founder of Alpha 7 Ministries, a Counseling and Music Ministry that reaches “Beyond The Walls”. There are times when we all need some encouragement in our walk with the Lord. The Counseling Ministry was designed to encourage, motivate and uplift you in your journey. The Music Ministry produces and records music for every musical taste: Contemporary Christian, Gospel, Praise & Worship, Instrumental Gospel/Jazz, and Easy Listening.

PAINT ON THE CANVAS

PAINT ON THE CANVAS 

God not only knows the very hairs that are on our heads. He determines how long we inhabit the earth. He is the ultimate Master Creator and Designer who weaves everything together in His magnificent canvas of life. When we grow in His grace, truth and knowledge He gives us the ability to spiritually discern. Spiritual discernment lights the foreground of our canvas as we ventureour life.

Quite often we adapt to the world and employ  through this valley of the shadow of death. His wisdom grooms our being so as children of light our life’s canvas commences to reflect the light of His presence in personality traits that are in general socially acceptable. Personality is used in typical dictionary definition to distinguish behavioral, emotional and attitudinal tendencies, character traits and habits. It is by these traits that one is uniquely recognized. We as people are fundamentally a complex integration of physical and non-physical dimensions and attributes.

The spiritual facet of us should reflect the God like qualities within our nature. Interpersonal dynamics and environmental influences are primary, but not exclusive to developmental determinants of our personalities. As human beings we are living, learning and growing organisms. When parents have properly nourished us by providing sufficient freedom and are generous in positive reinforcement, children will achieve a sense of personal autonomy. On the other hand if parents have modeled much faulty behavior themselves, were too overprotective, demanding, too permissive or critical, children will learn to have doubts about themselves. They will become harnessed with feelings of shame. In God’s eyes we are all ageless children. His Holy Spirit’s presence in one’s life is able to override any inappropriate learning experiences which we all have to a certain degree. God who is the ultimate Sovereign Creator can paint new life onto our life’s canvas. The Holy Spirit works in believers to give us a new nature.

When I studied “Art Appreciation” in school I acquired a respect for the various art forms. When I saw an original Picasso Abstract, my first reaction was “I don’t like it. After studying Picasso’s work I learned he was able to paint with a childlike simplicity. He was able to go inside, vicariously share and interpret on canvas the depth of his feelings. From an exterior posture for one to understand his work, a surface summation would not properly render what he was trying to relay. Despite the possibility of no one understanding he did not allow that to hinder His work. Whether he was aware of it or not He was given a God-given talent. It was largely after his death that the world really began to appreciate and understand his unique gift.

Our life can be quite like an abstract painting. Especially by those who really don’t know us. People usually fear what they don’t understand, or tend to label it negatively. Webster defines Abstract as; difficult to understand. Insufficiently factual. Expressing a quality considered apart from an object. Impersonal having only a generalized form with little or no attempt at precise representation. Quite often as Christians we too must risk being misunderstood. We must learn to tenaciously pursue our God given talent(s) with a steadfast devotion.

Each day that passes what we say and do and how we respond paints an array of events on our personal canvas of life. Much of our life’s paint is applied erroneously when we wander aimlessly about. When we stray from the narrow path that God has designed. God’s world is awesomely vast. A marvelous abstract spiritual venture awaits those who are obedient. Faith and Trust in Him are required companions that confidently paint the unseen path before us! It is easy to deter from our course because God allows us so much freedom. He has given us the power to choose. Other wise each individual canvas would yield a duplicate reproduction!

But once we really discover that life has purpose the strokes on our life’s canvas should be guided by our Creator. There is nothing in our life that has transpired that we can unpaint. When we find ourselves somewhere we don’t want to be or saying or doing something we don’t want to do what do we do? Do we continue to allow pride to lead us anyway? No, it will only lead us somewhere we don’t really want to go.

The hues of pride darken the spiritual path. It keeps the light of our direction deep in the background. So do we just waste precious time and continue to stumble around? Do we employ passages of scriptures to justify our sometimes wrong position? Do we erroneously mislead and gather others to support us in our wrong position? Ask yourself, do you hear a faint unspoken voice beckoning you to change your direction? Although painful, it is far better to move towards the Light. God knows your true motives. Do you know it is more important what God knows rather than what people think!

God our Creator knows all of our faults, shortcomings, misunderstandings and insecurities. His arms are wide open. But too often, pride, guilt and shame keeps us at His arm distance. It keeps us in the dark away from His marvelous Light! Too often we just don’t want to admit that we are possibly wrong or were wrong to ourselves especially not someone else! We are so reluctant to tint our canvas with the magnificent brilliance of humility! We would rather allow pride to paint our canvas and take us to a place that we will eventually dread!

If you are at a point in your life you don’t want to be, or if your life seems to be headed in a direction of uncertainty; If you have done something or said something you should not have ( and we do from time to time) seek God’s direction. Really dedicate some time to being still and sincerely do some deep soul searching. Have your self a Gethsemane experience. Get quiet enough so you can actually hear what God is saying. Now that you have gotten His attention. Sincerely render to Him what is on your mind and in your heart. Remember He knows anyway. Once you have lightened your load. Ask Him for direction. Admit and repent (not repeat) of anything that is hindering your spiritual path.

Allow God’s yoke to be spiritually connected to lighten your burdens. I assure you He will direct you! Just know it may not be in a direction you want to go. You may just have to apply some humility to your life’s canvas. Humility can harness anger and impulsive rage will have to flee! Instead each painful step in His direction will be accompanied by His unexplainable peace! Did you know that when we are at our weakest point it gives God the opportunity to create a great work in us? Proceed cautiously knowing that anger and pride wants to darken disobedience. They only want to suppress and cover up the Light that wants to shine on your life’s canvas!

Once we humbly admit to God we are wrong, a flood of Light appears. It opens the door for the cleansing power of His Word to wash us thoroughly. God in His infinite wisdom is totally aware of the minutest speck of sin on each of our individual canvases. “All of us have sinned and fallen short of His glory”. But this does not give us the right to continue in sin. Christ did not die for us to be slaves to any sin in our lives. He even told us except we become as children we will not enter into His kingdom! He is the only Sovereign Master Designer! He can make each stroke of circumstances whatever they may be; mold and shape us into a vessel of beauty and honor in His sight. Commence to allow His Holy Spirit to guide you as you paint your personal canvas. Our life truly is “A work of art in progress.”

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, life coach and ordained minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” and just released her second book “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married”.

DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published. DeBorrah along with her husband is co-founder of Alpha 7 Ministries, a Counseling and Music Ministry that reaches “Beyond The Walls”. There are times when we all need some encouragement in our walk with the Lord. The Counseling Ministry was designed to encourage, motivate and uplift you in your journey. The Music Ministry produces and records music for every musical taste: Contemporary Christian, Gospel, Praise & Worship, Instrumental Gospel/Jazz, and Easy Listening.

PORNography is Growing Within The Christian Community

PORNography is Growing Within The Christian Community

 

Pornography is one of the most prevalent social problems we are facing today. There is a great concern in regards to the rate pornography is growing within the Christian Community. It is happening from the pulpit to the pew. The number of individuals and families that have been directly or indirectly impacted is rapidly growing. The issue continues to snowball because to some degree, on many levels it is initially accepted. In some instances it is considered to be a passing fad or on the other hand it is simply ignored. Pornography is dangerous and erodes the moral fiber of one’s character. If you know someone who is involved in pornography please don’t wait, encourage them to get help now! Since it is so readily accessible it can overtake and often consume the life of those who partake in it. Pornography is really quite selfish. It can impair and shatter the life and self esteem of the addict’s spouse and robs the relationship of trust, significance and security. It also can cause a carnal spirit to hover over the household which invites much spiritual warfare.

 

The internet has a plethora of pornographic sites that are launched every day. The images seduce the captive audience of one or more into an underground world of self-indulgent decadence. Seeking fulfillment in strip clubs, compulsive eating and or cyberspace clubs. There is much research available to substantiate that it is a growing addiction phenomenon for many. Pornography has various levels from soft to hard porn to… At what point is it harmful? Here are some questions to ask or think about. If you can answer yes to any of these you need to really get help.

 

Do you keep secrets about your sexual or romantic activities from those important to you? Do you lead a double life?

Have your needs driven you to have sex in places or situations or with people you would not normally choose?

Do you find yourself looking for sexually arousing articles or scenes in newspapers, magazines, or other media?

Do you find that romantic or sexual fantasies interfere with your relationships or are preventing you from facing problems?

Do you frequently want to get away from a sex partner after having sex? Do you frequently feel remorse, shame, or guilt after a sexual encounter?

Do you feel shame about your body or your sexuality?

Does each new relationship continue to have the same destructive patterns which prompted you to leave the last relationship?

Is it taking more variety and frequency of sexual and romantic activities than previously to bring the same levels of excitement and relief?

Does your pursuit of sex or romantic relationships interfere with your spiritual beliefs or development?

Do your sexual activities include the risk, threat, or reality of disease, pregnancy, coercion, or violence?

Has your sexual or romantic behavior ever left you feeling hopeless?

Are you unable to properly relate to your spouse and there is a physical void in the relationship?

 

Recently in the news it was announced that we have many teens who are now starting to do what is called “sextexting.” For too long the subjects of adultery, fornication, immorality, infidelity, incest, same sex relationships , sex outside of marriage….. have merely slid under the Christian radar. This is getting to be a little frightening. This should send us all a clear warning! The porn addict spends endless hours absorbing images of an unrealistic unattainable idealistic fantasy via the internet or videos. It is a billion dollar industry. Unknowingly these images have become their little god. Which really is a form of idolatry. It impacts not only the addict but the family as well just like any other addiction.

 

There are many deeper unresolved issues here. Quite often something that happened in childhood has resurfaced in the addicts mind. The emotional pain has fermented and pornography becomes a destructive outlet. Dealing with someone who has an addictive personality can be overwhelming and or quite devastating. You are really often dealing with an out of control child encased in an adult body. They want what they want, when they want it. It is difficult for them to delay self gratification. They will do whatever it takes to satisfy their insatiable desire. It is often difficult for them to see that they are so unreasonably demanding and controlling. An intervention is constructive, warranted and often necessary in order to begin the path to recovery.

 

Talking about sexual issues openly and honestly will help dispel a lot of the rumors, myths and inappropriate behavior that has gone on and on… Education is key. No one really often wants to really come out and discuss or say; what God has to say, for fear of being perceived as too religious or judgmental. If you are a believer, one surely knows that absolutely nothing happens anywhere or at anytime that God is not aware of. For example let’s look at I Samuel 1. Eli who was a priest had two sons Hophni & Phinehas whose behaviors were simply outright outrageous. They were disobedient, humiliated and slept with the women who came to the Tabernacle for help. The Bible says they were wicked, “corrupt sons who did not know the Lord.” They were warned as to what would happen. They twisted their privileges in order to satisfy their flesh. Eli did not discipline his sons properly. When he tried to correct them they totally disrespected him. They displayed that same disrespect towards God …. They had established a pattern of sexual abuse that needed to be broken. But look, on the other hand Hannah had dedicated her first born son Samuel to the Lord. Samuel came up in the very same household along with Eli’s sons. Hannah had brought him to Eli. Samuel at a very young age ministered before the Lord and grew spiritually. Despite what was going on about Samuel, the Lord intervened and he grew in “stature, and in favor both with the Lord and men.” (For more details of this narrative read I Samuel 1-3) What a contrast.

 

If you want to break a cycle of abuse, dysfunction or addiction, you have to do something differently than what you are already doing. If your “helping is not helping then you are not helping.” Addiction needs to be replaced with a healthy productive activity. It is important that we help subsequent generations not to fall prey to these destructive behaviors. DON’T continue to sweep things under the rug. The enemy always tries to subvert and corrupt what God intends. Absolutely nothing gets by God! Sexual sin is not a new problem. There is power in the blood of Jesus! Let’s really begin to ask and seek the Lord’s direction “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.” All of God’s Word is true!

 

Less seminars, workshops, programs and more practical application of God’s Word implemented within our daily lives. All too often when issues arise God’s way for resolve is totally disregarded. Less excuses such as “Nobody’s perfect.” Yes, this is a truism; but God tells us to continue to strive for His perfection! Perfection according to Webster means: 1: the quality or state of being perfect: as a: freedom from fault or defect : flawlessness b: maturity c: the quality or state of being saintly 2 a: an exemplification of supreme excellence b: an unsurpassable degree of accuracy or excellence3: the act or process of perfecting. God’s perfection brings wholeness. God would not tell us to do something if it were not possible. To be a Christian means to commit to live in the WAY that pleases God!

 

God really is able! Marriage and the family were created by God from the very beginning. It was originally designed so that He would be the central theme of our existence. Since He created us He really does know what is best. He gave us healthy boundaries so we could learn discipline. So remember what He says in Jude: “But, dear friends, remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ foretold. They said to you, “In the last times there will be scoffers who will follow their own ungodly desires.” These are the men who will divide you, who follow mere natural instincts and do not have the Spirit…

 

God intended that your physical sexual needs were to be met within the confines of the “undefiled marriage bed.” Otherwise it is like “fire outside of the fireplace.” God loves you so much that He allows you the freedom to choose. It is evident that many choose to do “their own thing.” But, are the consequences really worth it? Think about it! Everywhere you are He is, everything you do or have done, He knows! There is a very significant security available to you when you choose to make His will and WAY your primary concern! Repentance is possible but first one must recognize that there is sin. Sin is missing the mark. Take some time to get refocused. A conscious that is sensitive to God is precious. You can be set free from any addiction. God has called us to live differently. He has given us healthy boundaries in order to properly satisfy any personal needs which can be experienced within the sanctity of marriage. He can fill that void.

 

God always has a better way but too often the ways of the world have taken His place. Healing and restoration are possible. Take some time for a spiritual cleansing. Seeking Him through His Word one really can find rest and peace for the wearied soul. God has left us a marvelous wealth of knowledge and examples within His Word to help us to avoid the pitfalls and consequences of partaking in fulfilling the lusts of the flesh. Read the writings of the Song of Solomon its beauty and honesty shows a balanced contrast to the sexual perversions of this age.

 

Begin being consistently accountable to someone for your actions and developing self control which is part of the Fruit of His Spirit. Someone who has healthy boundaries and knows the importance of not walking in the flesh but walking in the Spirit. Prayer and fasting are valuable tools. You can rededicate your life to sexual purity. You really can experience a growing healthy self esteem as a result of walking closer to the Lord.

 

I realize that this subject will not win a popularity contest. It may even cause a few jaws to drop. But at this point I have come to the conclusion that it is much more important “what Gods knows rather than what people think.” Especially when you know that He knows there is “no secret agenda.” My intentions are to shed Light where the darkness continues to keep the people of God and those in the world trapped in its snare. Christ lived a sinless life to overcome sin in the flesh for us! He died a painful death on the cross for us so we could live differently. Too many are more concerned about protocol rather than who to call. Help Me Lift His Holy Name! To God Be The Glory!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, life coach and ordained minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” and just released her second book “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married”.

DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published. DeBorrah along with her husband is co-founder of Alpha 7 Ministries, a Counseling and Music Ministry that reaches “Beyond The Walls”. There are times when we all need some encouragement in our walk with the Lord. The Counseling Ministry was designed to encourage, motivate and uplift you in your journey. The Music Ministry produces and records music for every musical taste: Contemporary Christian, Gospel, Praise & Worship, Instrumental Gospel/Jazz, and Easy Listening.

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