Why most marriages don’t last! Part 1

February 10, 2016 by  
Filed under Marriage & Relationships

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Why most marriages don’t last Part 1

It is important to make your marriage a top priority!

Marriage statistics ending in divorce continue to rise! Why is that? Spouses listen to everyone else except one another. Their marriage is no longer the top priority it once was. They desire to please their friends, relatives, neighbors, coworkers and sometimes congregations rather than one another or GOD!

You do not have to live on an island.  You must continue to strive to  improve and refine your marriage!

Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having good friends. Just don’t try to be like your friends. Especially if they are not married. Be original! If you notice you look different because you are different. Your temperaments are different and you like different things. So why is it when it comes to your spouse you listen to them rather than to one another. When you decided to get married you became a team. Or rather you should learn to commit to be partners in life. Build a great marriage and encourage those who are married to do the same. Encourage those who are single to cleave to the Lord as they seek to be married….

Hopefully you did not get married to make each others’ life difficult. Or to get someone to take care of you.  You can do badly all by yourself.  Or because you felt you were getting older and the clock was winding down or simply because everyone else was married? Or just because! Hopefully you got married because you want to give and share of yourself within the sanctity of a committed monogamous growing relationship. To experience the greatest partnership between one man and one woman designed by God.

Think about it for a moment. Why did you get married? Was there a goal to accomplish something? You have two eyes, two ears, two lips, two hands, two arms, two legs and two feet. They actually work together in pairs better! If one can’t do something the other one will… Well when it comes to marriage you should work together with your spouse as well. Two working together can accomplish much and often much more than  one! If you do not desire to work together then don’t get married.  This will  result in an endless void within your marriage.  Or perhaps that is why you now no longer want to be unmarried? You want to try something else or someone else?

In a Good marriage; You both  want to give of yourself in a relationship were you both have the same basic principles and morals; here you are actually  on one accord…

Many change partners like they are changing a pair of shoes! Fearful of being transparent and taking the time to really get to know your spouse you flee.  You emotionally detach yourself and shut down.  Or you simply don’t open up to them and you two just coexist as strangers.  Unfaithfulness is a place you don’t want to go. In building a good marriage it is not an option. Neither should you  listen to unwise, ungodly counsel or advice… Quite often everyone else knows what is going on before either of you. Your friends have become your confidants and you wouldn’t dare share TRUTH with your spouse. Well! That’s part of the problem!

Help for marriages

Marriage is not about keeping secrets from your spouse.  It’s about sharing who you are and growing and improving yourself as well as encouraging your spouse… To remain committed when there is turbulence and then together learn to soar above it! In a good marriage when you truly like one another you become friends as well as partners. It is better to be open and honest up front rather than waste time year after year dodging the Truth.

If this is not the case now is the time to work on building intimacy. Have you really put forth a good effort to improve your marriage? Have you been able to open up emotionally?  Have you become transparent?  Have you actually emotionally  abandoned your spouse within  the marriage. This is why it is important to embrace your marriage vows.  They were not just words or were they?

If you have been married before please take some time in between marriages and get rid of the extra baggage. If you don’t it will soon become part of your current marriage and you will recycle the same ole junk! You can’t change what has happened but you can go forward and do some things differently…

Why most marriages don’t last

What is so interesting marriage was really designed by God to be the ultimate relationship between one man and one woman. Two become one! Being together is a desired choice and you vowed and  made commitment to grow together and become partners for life. You made a commitment to honor God within your marriage?  You also  made a commitment to honor your spouse. Or did you? Or until…

Well nowadays people stay married as long or as short as they can tolerate one another and something better comes along? So they think? The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence! Don’t covet someone else’s marriage or stuff.  What works for them may not work for you.  You have no idea to the sacrifices they have made. Commit to building up your own marriage.   Like a healthy lawn;  A good marriage  must be tended, fertilized and cared for to stay green and healthy. The grass is greener where it is watered, fed and  well taken care of.

Few really understand what true love is!  This is why most marriages don’t last.   They want what they want  when they want it. Not realizing that they give very little.  They have not vested themselves within their marriage. They have not made a genuine effort to connect on a deeper level that allows healthy bonding.   Nor  have they  really committed to love.

GOD IS LOVE” God is eternal and so is   His love!

Love becomes optional to some in marriage and  it  is no longer the key adhesive that keeps the marriage together.  This really is not  love at  all.  Respect and commitment are secondary as well.   This is  what I call “Intoxicating affections” that simply  mimic God’s love. They don’t last!

See Part 2

  • Winsor Pilates

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