Holy Matrimony – Love Is A Gift From God

I have written this book as an attempt to share a few things for you to ponder. Some of the information may or may not be applicable to your particular situation. It is quite okay to disagree with what I have to say. I must fully confess I don’t have all the answers. It is my intent to shed whatever light no matter how infinitesimally small on marriage. To encourage you to stay committed to your marriage. I must admit I am prejudice where marriage is concerned. Marriage has allowed me the honor to experience true ultimate teamwork!

Divorce is raging a battle against marriage. Divorce has broken too many hearts and homes! Divorce has taken too many casualties! So what do we do about it? Do we just marry over and over until we get it right? Do we bury our heads in the sand like an ostrich? Do we modify our vows to say “as long as we like one another we will stay together? I do know that it is spiritual warfare that distorts the truth!

I do know that marriage is the first institution that God created! There are many couples who are just spiritually
ignorant. They have not really taken the time out to find out what God has to say. There are some who just decide to adopt the world’s way. Better yet forget marriage all together and say let’s just live together! When we get tired of one anther we can part company. Just know that there is a deeper meaning to marriage that is not humanly visible.

It is my heart’s desire to make an impact on the steady decline in the overwhelming number of marriages that result in divorce. To stimulate a desire to rekindle the flames of love in your marriage. To encourage one to take possession of your relationship just as if it where a physical permanent part of your being. To reach the few or many people that God allows in my life’s path. A healthy marriage can create a healthy home. A healthy home creates healthy children. Healthy children become responsible independent adults. Healthy adults are a treasure to our declining world!

Remember scripture tells us that the two become one! Under optimum conditions you will still experience balmy periods in the relationship. A good marriage is not something that just happens. It requires dedication. Some of the things I address may not be of interest to you. On the other hand perhaps you might feel a bit uncomfortable. If I stir up anything in you at all I solicit your prayers. Pray with me and for all of us who desire that marriage last a lifetime. The odds are against us. Marriage should be treated as though it were a valuable fine antique. It increases in beauty and value as it ages. It is so valuable we past down its beauty to the next generation. God always gives us the freedom to choose. Just knowing that God is for marriage should provide the necessary motivation to forge ahead. Just knowing God ordained marriage as one of the first institutions is encouraging! This gives me such security knowing how important it is to Him!

We live in a time when a lifelong heterosexual monogamous marriage has literally becoming “a dying breed”. Marriage is becoming a fading relic in the sands of time. Recent statistics from the * “2000 Census Report” has alarming news. Did you know that the number of unmarried partners grew by 72% in the past decade? Households headed by single mothers or fathers grew by 25%. Did you know that 33% of babies that were born were born to unmarried women compared to only 3.8% in 1940? These statistics attest to the fact that marriage is becoming increasingly unpopular. Does this mean that Christians should follow the trend? No! Hopefully we will be that much more motivated to give our marriages our all! We must strive to be obedient and keep committed to our vows.

Marriage is serious business. But are we serious Christians? According to God’s Word he hates divorce. (Remember why divorce was allowed?) I know that mutual love; trust and respect are key ingredients. A healthy marriage requires commitment by both partners. Each spouse must be willing to mutually share in the responsibility.

Practice makes permanent not perfect! We must begin to utilize the instructions of the Bible. Wherever you are in your marriage it’s not too late! If this is your second or third marriage make it your last. I have learned to view life as though we are in a primary “kindergarten” class. Kindergarten is for children. We should be childlike in our attitude towards marriage. But we must take responsibility for our actions as an adult! A child is forever growing. The longer I live the more I know I need to grow. There is always something to learn as long as the Lord allows us to remain here on earth. I am thankful to be “God’s Child”. I truly realize all of us have areas in our lives to work on. There is always room for self-improvement. Life is too short to spend the majority of it unhappy. Please begin now today! Take inventory and consciously commit to honoring your
marital vows. Marriage again is a Covenant Agreement.

Please don’t confuse my boldness with pride. I fully realize that it is only by God’s grace that I have been able
to experience a loving committed marriage for over thirtythree+years. I also realize that it is through His power that we have remained monogamously faithful to one another all these years. It is through marriage that I have learned to lean and trust God. I am thankful for my God given soul mate. “To much is given much is required.” My husband and I both come from large families. We know first hand the effects of divorce on the family. Love is not contingent on what you have or do not have. It is a gift from God. It is by God’s goodness and mercy alone that our marriage has successfully prevailed despite the current trend. We are not bound by need and/or compulsion. We have been through storms, valleys and on the mountain top of life.
We together have experienced much spiritual warfare. We have been blessed to experience the sincere fulfilling love that only comes from GOD! God truly is the center of our marriage. For this I am eternally grateful!

DeBorrah K. Ogans

NEXT:Chapter 1 – Marriage Who’s Idea Is It Anyway ?