Holy Matrimony – Chapter 10 – Till Death Do Us Part
Marriage is the first institution that God designed! Making a sincere commitment to your marriage is one of the most important decisions you can make in life. When God made Adam He made him both male and female. He took Eve out of Adam to be by his side. God is so wonderfully awesome! It was His intention to provide Adam with a compatible helpmeet to satisfy together their desires for companionship. Marriage is the ultimate partnership where two together can spiritually, physically and emotionally have there needs mutually met. Marriage is a unique covenant agreement. Marriage is ordained by God. God intends for your marriage to last for a lifetime.
To insure your marriage will last for a life time there are certain principles you must implement. Love, fidelity,
mutual trust, respect, care, and concern are crucial components. The scripture tells us “For this cause shall a
man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh. Wherefore they are no more twain but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder”. God’s Word is full of depth. Asunder; within this contextual use means; to be apart, separate. Now of course there are times when you can not be together. As individuals there are times when you will need to spend time doing things that are personally fulfilling. Asunder is referring to a spiritual separation. Spiritually the two of you can experience a deepness that is indescribable. Love is a continual growing process. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually there should be no one closer to you than your spouse. Why is this? Because you are really supposed to be one in a spiritual sense! It is through a God sanctioned relationship you can experience the true meaning of leaving and cleaving.
I was my Mother’s only beloved daughter. My parents were also blessed with ten (10) sons. I cannot begin to tell you first hand the experiences and strength that abetted my life. There was no doubt whatsoever in my mind whether or not they loved me. I loved my Mother as much as a daughter could love a Mother. Her desire in life was for me to be happy and content! My Mother was of the “old school”. She was a woman of character and integrity who loved the Lord! She was quite a bit older than myself when she married my father. I however chose to marry at a much younger age. She never tried to make me be like her or anyone else. She always encouraged me to get to know the Lord and trust Him! She also taught me there was no where I could go or nothing I could do that God did not see. She also exposed me to many modes of worship. Her years of wisdom gave me a respect for her that I cannot explain.
My Mother loved the Lord and she instilled in me and extended to others that love she had for Him. The Church was her life. She always stood her ground and was rooted and grounded in God’s Word. When my husband asked for my hand in marriage she just wanted to be sure it was what I wanted. We were both only eighteen years old when we married. We were engaged for one year. She never in anyway tried to come between us. I now this was because she knew that we truly loved one another and God had sanctioned our marriage. This is just another one of those many blessings that is really difficult to explain. My Mother has gone on home to be with the Lord. The many expressions and cards of how she touched the lives of others gave me great comfort during our grief. I now carry her in my heart wherever I go. It is by death that she departed this life. But her love will be with me always. We were also blessed with the birth of our seventh grandchild several hours after my Mom went home to be with the Lord. One went to heaven one came from heaven.
Exactly seven months after the death of my Mother, my mother-in-law died. She loved my husband and she also loved me. In many ways I believe my husband was her “Joseph”. I say this in truth! I do know that God predestines our life. I know that he brought her much joy and peace. I know that she was happy knowing that he was committed to the Lord and that God had provided for our family! Never had it occurred to me that my husband and I would share the deaths of our mothers within the same year. Since the time between their deaths was so brief we could actually feel and experience a level of shared emotion that is unexplainable. We were able to express and share our grief mutually. Perhaps since we have experienced so much joy together it is only fair that we also share our grief? We were also given strength and peace to celebrate both of their Home goings!
God gives you much freedom of expression when you can respond out of love and freedom instead of guilt! Especially when you know you have done right by your parents. It really can confound the minds of many! This
does not mean you don’t grieve or hurt. Deep within there is a sense of peace because you know without a
doubt you will see them some day. Nor does it mean you pretend. You know God really is real; and that someday you really will see them again. God is wonderfully awesome. We can rest knowing they both would have been pleased in their own way with their “Home Going Celebrations.” In the Bible the number seven represents the number of completion. I don’t profess to even begin to understand many things about what God allows. But this will and has been a significant memory to me. The two of them going home to be with the Lord within the same year is yet another thing we share! I have peace knowing that they are both now at home with
the Lord, “Absent from the body, present with the Lord”.
I cannot imagine not knowing the Lord. Yes, I must admit I don’t always listen as I should. I may delay responding at times. But my heart and mind has been conditioned to be sensitive to what is right and wrong. This in no way is meant for justification purposes of any wrongdoing in my life. But rather a confessed need for continual personal spiritual growth as well! I can only skim the surface of the wonderful challenges in life that God has brought me through! His principles for living when properly applied will bring great contentment. It will help you weather the tempestuous storms of life. Storms you will have. I guarantee you. A God given companion provides you a partner. Some one who is tangible. Someone who is physically there. Someone to hug. Someone who lovingly tells you when you are wrong. Someone in the flesh that can understand you. It is with this partner that you should and can become “one flesh”. I often say marriage is like epoxy! When the two components come together properly they will form a permanent bond. This bond is virtually unbreakable when you are seriously committed. Only with God is this truly possible.
Pray and patiently listen with an open mind, while I try to expound about something that is difficult. The physical part of marriage is important. Many Christians and non Christians get into a world of trouble. Why? Flesh has desires. Meeting those desires outside of marriage can be dangerous. It is also a major cause for marriages not lasting “until death us do part.” When you join yourself to someone did you know they become a part of you? Notice how you exchange bodily fluids during a sexual encounter. How can you separate them? There is some sort of mystical exchange taking place? So serious that there is a time when birth can actually be conceived. God is the Giver and Creator of life! Birth is an extraordinary daily miracle! It is a sheer mystery that confounds the mind. God wants us to have fulfilling pleasurable sexual relationships. It is a time to bond and cleave.
I trust God knows what is best. There is a reason why He tells us sex outside of marriage is like playing with fire! The world today embraces many types of relationships. But God sets the standard. The only sexual relationship for mankind He sanctions is that between “a man and woman”! Adam and Eve are the original design template for marriage. Notice when they decided to deter from God’s plan “all hell really did break loose”. Sin entered the world. Man began to follow their desires rather than obey the Lord. God allowed it to be. God has also allowed us a way back to Him! He desires we return to His way of living. Jesus gave His life for us! This provides us with the opportunity in which we could choose to be restored! He is a ever present help in times of trouble. He is my Savior and Lord! Is He yours? If not He can be. God always knows what is best. God allows us the freedom today to still choose. But do we really think about the consequences of our choices? We really need to stop blaming God!
Sex outside of marriage breeds insecurity. Fatherless and Motherless children are abundantly made orphans when they come into this world unloved and unwanted. Guess what we all pay a price in the long run. The point I am trying to make is there are serious reasons why God has given us instructions. He has given us examples as well. Search the scriptures and you will see.
Now let’s take a look at the beautiful side of “becoming one flesh”. Commitment and security are invested in a God centered marriage.
The respect for one another and the respect for the marriage bed is a requirement to become “one flesh”.
Remember God even said the “marriage bed is undefiled”. The human body is a wonderful magnificent creation. God has made it so a man and woman can physically fit one another. The two can fit so closely together that they actually fit together one inside the other. I really think it is very important that we understand that this type of physical relationship is meant for marriage only. When properly joined the two
can experience a closeness like no other. God tells us in His Word that marriage is only for this life.
I know it may be a little difficult to really grasp the fact that sex outside of marriage is dangerous. You know why? We have gotten so far away for God’s standards. We are living in a time when it is not fashionable to be a Christian. There are also a lot of Christians who are quite carnal. When you sincerely attempt to live a true Christian life, you risk being labeled a Pharisee. Did you know the Pharisees were not wrong because they knew the scriptures? No; it was actually because they could not recognize who Jesus was. Despite the fact they knew the scriptures they were still spiritually blind. The marvelous thing is we today can know the scriptures. We can know who Jesus really is and develop an intimate relationship with him. The truth really does set you free, when you implement its principles in your life.
Sex outside of marriage is dangerous. The consequences may not be readily apparent to you. But God has said this for a reason. Don’t look at what everyone else is doing or has done. Sex outside of marriage scars the soul. The soul is the eternal part of you. The scripture says that sex outside of marriage actually inflicts a wound to the soul. Why is that we are not hurting anyone? I can only tell you that there are a lot of things that seemingly appear okay; yet God says otherwise. We must learn to trust and obey God in all areas of our life. Remember you cannot see faith! You just trust that it is so. There is much to learn about life and living. But living life apart from God the Creator and His principles one is destined for a life full of turmoil and trouble. Just take a look at your own personal life. I guarantee you there have been consequences when you have gone contrary to God’s Word. We all have. But this does not give any of us an excuse to continue in sin.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to do something about your marriage. If you have been unfaithful know you are operating out of the will of God. If you are married and your marriage is in “dry docks” please recommit! If you
are anticipating marriage consult the Lord for direction! If you have serious doubts please don’t take the lunge! If you are single please remain celibate! If you are engaging in sex out side of marriage, please stop! Jog, or take a cold shower instead? Better yet call a good friend!
I realize that the spiritual concept of marriage actualized is really a foreign concept to many. The world tells us and confirms in so many ways that a lifetime commitment is optional. That it is quite okay if you can not get along to simply get a divorce. That we are free to have sex and its quite okay. Anytime and how ever much you’d like; because its your body? Don’t be deceived! Do you realize how much baggage you take to the next relationship? We have so many dysfunctional relationships and families until it seems normal. Everyone is confused and no one wants to admit it! Old slew foot is so clever. He continues to deceive the family of God. He continues to water down the effectiveness of the family unit. Life is only happily ever after while we live in the presence of God. Fight for the preservation of the family!
Sometimes I can really empathize with how John the Baptist must have felt. He vociferously cried “Repent!” Life at times feels as though the world is slowly becoming a carnal wilderness? Yes, we talk of God. We may even attempt to worship Him somewhat? But His principles are often far removed from daily life for many. Should we not implement His principles once we really know that we are heading in the wrong direction? We should not continue as though they are simply ideas to expound upon rather than action to actually be implemented in our lifestyles.
Please if you feel its to late or you are going to do your own thing regardless, please impart these principles to your children or grandchildren. Don’t support sex outside of marriage. The only safe sex is called “MARITAL SEX”! Please let’s not put another generation at risk. Educate them by telling them what God has to say. Let them know that God intends for marriage to last for a life time. Yes, let them know as well that the world does not expect them to hold up this standard. Let them know that the world feels a man is man when he sleeps with however many women he chooses. But a woman is a whore. You see the world has conflicting double standards so unlike God. God says a whore nor a whoremonger will enter into His kingdom. The bible is quite graphic in its expository explanations on infidelity. I encourage you to read it first hand.
Your marital commitment to one another is the next important thing you will do in life besides your personal
commitment to God. Your marriage should be your number one commitment! It was created to be something wonderful, enjoyable, and fulfilling. God has given us in His Word a plethora of examples to draw from. We must stop ever learning and learning yet never really understanding! Too many are remaining ignorant to what God is saying. We must learn to apply and implement His wisdom daily to life and the problems that it presents. We must robe ourselves daily in humility and daily bathe in the cleansing power of His Word. We can truly walk in the forgiveness of His Word. God has promised, and He will provide and fulfill our every possible need in this life. We must commit to relinquish any and all behavior that is not of Him. Jesus has paved the way back to the Father. He has loosened the power and stronghold of sin’s ability to reign in our lives. He freely gives us the ability to choose. He and He alone is the door to the Father. He is My shepherd and My Lord!
When we who are believers depart this life we have an “eternal home that is not made by hands”! Praise God!
Please make it a point to spend time with God. Taking quality time with God the FATHER will help you and teach you how to relate to and properly live with your spouse and in this world! “Till death us do part” is meant
to be a lifetime commitment. Exercising control in all areas of your life will give you a strength and freedom
that most think impossible. If you are truly walking with God you should see some personal improvement. This is not about what someone else sees. Don’t get caught up in projecting something that is not so. You see God really does know what is best and if He says marriage should last until, “death us do part” I believe Him. I can testify that a committed monogamous marriage will give you an inner peace that is priceless. Trust and integrity are daily benefits that assure you that the fruit of the Spirit is tangible. You will be at peace when you know you can trust one another. You will experience a wonderful freedom. It will bring you the greatest and ultimate fulfillment that life has to offer.
If you have been married before pray and obey God’s direction this time. Really make an effort to stay married.
Staying married is a choice. Working out your problems is a choice. Just know you can not change anyone but
yourself. Being happy in marriage is a choice. Being faithful in marriage is a choice. Experiencing true love is
a gift from God. The scriptures tell me “God is Love”. I don’t believe that you can really truly love someone
and not know God. It is crucial that God be invited into your marriage. You need His Spiritual “covering”. There
are just too many things in life waiting to derail your marriage. God really can keep you, guide, you and provide
for you. Commence from this day forward to really get to know Him for your self. Make it a priority to spend some time developing the most important relationship that you could ever experience. Then you will know how to create a loving fulfilling marriage. God is there or should I say here for you. Actually He’s everywhere! You just have to make the choice! “Come to Me all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” Matthew 11: 28-30
Marriage as I have said before many times is for two mature people. If you have not committed to the Lord please do. You see whether you acknowledge Him in your life or not, you need Him!
Whether you believe if He exists or not, you still need Him. You see God is a God of grace. He knows we all have shortcomings and limitations. He is not physically writing every little mistake we make. He does not have to. He is all knowing! He knows everything that has happened and will happen. Don’t put God on our level. You see He is the beginning and the end! You see in our little minds we really cannot conceive God in All His Awesome WONDER! In our little finite minds it is impossible to actually perceive God and His infiniteness. The scriptures tells us that He is “Alpha and Omega the beginning and the end.”
I know that in over 33 years of marriage I have had to learn many things. Time does not permit me to share it all with you. It would take me 33 years to do it. Life and living has brought me/us through many growing experiences. I briefly shared some with you so you will know that this is not some idealistic fantasy. Pain, sorrow, tribulations and grief are real. I cannot imagine how I could have possibly made it through without the LORD. I thank Him for a strong ever growing committed marriage. This book is a mere attempt to share a few observations and points that I pray will be helpful. If I have shed light on gray areas in your life, Praise God! If you are discouraged it was not my intent. I would at this time like to encourage you to start from this day forward. You cannot change the past. But, you can enrich your future. I pray that you have a rich, rewarding and fulfilling marriage from this day forward! God will provide you with a life that you will not be able to explain. God truly can and will make a difference in your life. What the enemy means for evil God will turn it out for good when you entrust your life to Him. But remember it is always your choice to choose “TO DEATH US DO PART”!
SEVEN THINGS TO PONDER
1. Marriage is the ultimate relationship between a man and a woman.
2. Marriage is ordained by GOD.3. God can give you true peace even in the midst of grief.
4. Love is a continual growing process.
5. Marriage is like epoxy.
6. Sex outside of marriage is like playing with fire.
7. Do you believe in “ To Death Us Do Part”?