Holy Matrimony – Chapter 7 – The Down Side Of Life And Marriage

I have always enjoyed reading. It gives your mind the versatility of creative wandering. It really gives you the
opportunity to travel while remaining still. When I was a child I especially enjoyed Bible stories. I even taught a
home reading class. I also taught Vacation Bible School at an early age and regularly participated in the youth
conferences. Today I have sitting on my desk a certificate for taking a class in “ Major Religions of the World” when I was but thirteen (13) years of age. I am grateful my Mother consistently instilled in me at a very early age fear and respect for God. How little I knew then that He would mean the world to me now! The Bible tells us that “fearing the Lord is the beginning of wisdom!”

In my leisure I enjoyed watching “Leave it to Beaver” and the “Shirley Temple matinees”. Did you ever notice
how Beaver’s Mom wore pearls and high heels doing the dishes? By the way how often did you actually see his Dad at work? I also watched the “Little Rascals”. Notice how they never combed Buckwheat’s hair! How often did the story lines talk about God? Just something to think about. I also enjoyed Deborah Kerr, Audrey Hepburn, Jayne Wyman, Lana Turner, Grace Kelly, Dianne Carroll, Lena Horne, Sidney Poitier, Bill Cosby, Ricardo Montablan, and Clark Gable. The women usually played gracious lady like roles. The men were gentlemen as well, who were at times quite humorous. I didn’t care too much for horror blood and guts type thrillers. I loved those classic movies that entailed a dramatic plot with glamour, intrigue, wholesome romance and suspense but usually they ended up happily ever after.

Today I can confess I was impressed by it all to a certain extent. I really believe it gave me a perspective I wouldn’t have if left to remain in my own small scope of things. I have found television can be a viable resource when utilized properly. It is a fine example of creative genius. While watching I could imagine going so many marvelous places. This taught me that life had a lot more to offer beyond what I knew other than my urban inner city life. However, now as His child I am growing up (smile). The Lord has allowed my husband and my self to travel all around the world together. Realistically I now realize everything does not end up happily ever after (here on earth any way) and a lot of the scenes in the movies were just a Hollywood set. The world in its vast nest is full of various life styles. Life experiences are full of adversity and personal growth!

Today simple television has expanded from cable TV to satellite dishes. We access 900+ stations at the flick of a button. In the newspaper and on our local TV news stations are story after story of marriages gone awry. All of these wonderful inventions have to some degree subliminally programmed our thinking! God has said in His Word “what God has joined together let not man put asunder”. I realize that in todays time that over 55-60% of marriages end in divorce. This tells you that in reality it is not happily ever after for many. Despite the alarming statistics God has said it is possible! I know firsthand that it is possible to commit and stay in a loving monogamous marriage. But it does not happen without work.

When two people come together who are uniquely different in every way marriage can be a challenge. It is difficult to find a common ground. Bear with me if this is your case! Just for a moment lets just revisit those vows you made. Did they include for better or for worst? Did you really mean for better and if it gets worst “I’m out of here”? Let’s get some bearing and focus on the fact you are an adult? Right! Unless you have some over powering compulsive behaviors you can do just about anything you make up your mind to do. Do you realize that your commitment was to God as well? Had you ever thought about Him helping you keep that commitment? You see God is a reality. He is not a fictitious television character. He is not like superman, the tooth fairy, Santa Claus or some other fictitious super hero. Nor is He this fair skinned man in the sky with a long white beard. He has true power! God is a Spirit! The world and everything around us reinforces that marriage is becoming “old hat”. That living together is better and cheaper. The most important fact they leave
out is God does have an original design for a man and a woman relationship. He established in the beginning
of time a formula where both man and wife would have their physical and emotional needs met! Start right now
asking Him for direction, strength and power to get your relationship on the right track.

Bear with me as I take a little tangent. Which is really a woman’s prerogative is it not? I must admit I jump all over the place. Throughout this book and in my personal life I refer to God a lot! It is not because I am a fanatic. Or maybe I am? Well not in an unhealthy way at least! You see I know first hand that God makes a difference. God is so real in my life! Although He is not manifested in a tangible physical way that I can actually see Him; His presence in my own life is without question. The sky; His firmament is one of the many expressions to remind me of that awesome presence. You see I realize and know that it is God alone that has given me a measure of faith to believe in Him! I have seen and experienced many precious moments in my
lifetime. I can truly say that there is no way possible that I could have made it or accomplished anything without Him. I have felt, witnessed and experienced His abundant and precious Love! In simple terms; I KNOW that within God there is a viable solution to every problem we might ever encounter in life! This is true even when life seems to take a downward shift.

God can direct you in your marital relationship. The adversity He allows is to help us build integrity. From this day forward make a sincere attempt to improve your relationship with your spouse. Take a moment and see
where you are? Is your relationship headed in the right direction? Ask your self do you really want your relationship to improve? It is my prayer that your love for one another may abound and grow. That you continue to grow in the knowledge and wisdom of the Lord! Did you know that when we sincerely pray God will grant us the desires of our hearts; “when we ask anything that is in His will for us!” Now let’s move forward by addressing some painful issues we have possibly neglected to look at!

What drew you to your spouse? If you have gotten older and the lines of life have begun to lace your face and body it still doesn’t matter. It is never too late! God can ignite those embers of care and concern to rekindle the warmth between you. Perhaps not in the same way. But you’re older anyway. You have some mileage together. You are a little more refined? You are a valuable antique sort of speak. You have some experiences that are unique! Recommit to loving your spouse. Convert those memories into wisdom. God can help you build or take your relationship to a higher and deeper depth. Perhaps unconsciously you stayed together because deep down you know you are really meant to be together. But you have been terribly unhappy? I really believe God can revive your joy! You have shared a lifetime together. Life is too short. God has promised to meet all of your needs. Don’t ever undermine His ability to do just that.

If you are a young vibrant couple who got off to a fast start and now you are at an abrupt halt. Same advise. Turn to God for direction. Stop allowing your job, career, relatives, children, everything and everybody to come between the two of you. You have made a commitment. Get to the root of the problem and start anew. Make a covenant agreement with your eyes that your faithfulness and body are pledged to your spouse and spouse alone! God will help you; but he won’t force you. Ask Him to restore or implant His love within your marriage! We get in to trouble when we leave Him out of the very things that we promised to do! I am not coming from a rigid religious perspective. God’s power is a realistic powerful tool that we too often overlook. Do you know Christ did not die for you to live your life unhappy? Joy and peace is a fruit of His Spirit. “Where the Spirit of
the Lord is there is liberty”!

If you are a couple who married under false pretenses watch out. It is wrong to not divulge information to your spouse that might have caused you not to marry. Insecurity and selfishness overrode your ability to be objective. Perhaps you thought marriage would end your financial debts? Or maybe you were just tired of being alone? Perhaps you really did not take time to get to know one another and you feel you are married to a stranger? It is quite possible for two to live together and share a bed together and be worlds apart? Did God really join you together? You are really going to have to depend on God to make it work. Repent! Since you have not been honest with one another you can not establish intimacy. Your relationship is not or was not
built on the truth. Ask for God’s forgiveness right now! If you really love your spouse help is available to you. Really make an effort to develop your intimate relationship and please include the LORD! He will give you the wisdom as to where to go from this point. Since you have taken those vows you must do everything in your power to make things work.

Begin to look at your spouse through the eyes of God. She or He has been created in His image. That’s heavy! All the bad stuff that has happened has been created by man. We have the freedom to choose. Quite often we make some very bad choices. Begin to divest your marriage of the “garbage of life”. Take out the trash! Stop letting what this one has said and that one has said hinder your relationship. Take time and listen to what God has said. Try to mentally “etch a sketch” your stuff over. All the mess is still there. You just must commit to design a new path for your marriage! God has a better way! I am sure if you admit the truth. Chances are you did not consult him, or you consulted Him and did not listen. Begin to remodel your relationship. Admit it has
not really been a high priority. Admit you have said some things and did some things wrong! Let go of that pride which only builds an emotional barrier anyway. Knock down those cold walls that insulate your heart and open it up to your spouse! You have an obligation. Embrace the comforts of humility.

God has blessed me to see a lot of this world. Which I am forever grateful. There is so much beauty in God’s
creation. There are so many different types of people. Many shapes, sizes and colors. The lifestyles vary tremendously. Large magnificent cathedrals, mega churches to tiny store front church buildings. Little houses, big houses, slums, condos, apartments, flats, mansions as well as many living homeless. The socio-economic status is just as varied. I have met many wonderful people. But I have also seen much despair and poverty. Not everyone has a place to call home.

When I took my counseling internship I took part of it in homeless shelters. The other part I took in a nice suburban counseling office. My counseling supervisor was not all that thrilled by my choice. He often wondered what motivated me to make such a choice. No, I wasn’t on a save the world ego trip. I just wanted to be sure I could handle whatever. Why would anyone want to live outdoors? How could a couple survive living homeless? Well just know that there are couples that find themselves in homeless situations. If you really want to know first hand life and marriage on the real downside try volunteering in a shelter. I volunteered knowing really in the back of my mind an intimate personal relationship with the Lord would make a world of difference to the residents. I would just have to discreetly find a way to eventually get there with them! I have always felt a call on my life to help! We must learn that we can only help to a point. Volunteering in the shelter actually helped me to develop healthier boundaries!

The shelters I went to showed such a contrast. Did you know they have shelters in poor urban areas as well as the ritzy suburbs? The difference was in suburbia they had to leave the shelter early in the morning and could not loiter around the neighborhood. They didn’t want anyone to get the wrong impression and all. They were very particular about how that would look. The shelter was discreetly located. It was ironically located behind a Cadillac and a Mercedes Benz automobile dealership. There was one shelter that was located in a business industrial environment. The building had been renovated to accommodate the residents. It was one of the nicer shelters. But take a step right out the back door guess what? There was a cemetery. How ironic. The
reality of life, death and hardship all right there. You could either renew your life and step up, or you could keep on a downward spiral and check- out. Actually it was a good preventative aversion counseling tool!

When I would leave the urban shelter late at night I wasn’t too concerned. Right across from the shelter was
a temporary police facility. I remember one night I was leaving the shelter. One of the residents said to me “How do you know your car is going to be there when you leave?” I just kind of shrugged and said “I’m not worried”. They said “You should be, didn’t you know that the portable police station has moved?” It wasn’t that I was oblivious to what was going on. Whenever I’d get in my car I’d call my husband and tell him all was well. I really felt for those in the shelter. I chose to come to the shelter. When you can choose, it makes a world of difference. For many of the residents this was a last resort. This helped me to appreciate my husband and family that much more. Hurt and disappointment prevented many of them to reach out to their families.

Volunteering my time in the shelter was quite interesting. Many fear helping, thinking you are going to catch
something. If you are afraid pray before you go in and pray when you come out! But most importantly pray for
those who are there. It really is a perfect opportunity to develop your faith and trust in the Lord. God really will
protect you and keep you safe. You never know who you’re entertaining when you are entertaining strangers do you?

Knowing that when I left I was going to a safe secure home gave me all the inspiration I needed. It also helped
me not to take it for granted and to be thankful I did have a home to go to. Living in the inner city has its benefits. It gave me a healthier perspective on the realities of life and the potential dangers. It’s really interesting when you are doing something you know the Lord wants you to do. I just knew the Lord would keep me from hurt, harm, danger and sickness. It also strengthened my prayer life. I had to trust the Lord to give me what to say to help them. He did! Sometimes it was just my place to listen. The residents in the shelter made life that much more of a reality for me. It alerted me to the fact that life for many can have a real
down side.

There were those who left and came back repeatedly. There were those who I knew after they got over this hurdle they would never return. The experience impacted them to a point of motivated independence. There goal was upward and out. Often I would personally prepare a take home package for some of the women. It was so rewarding to see when they had gotten themselves to a point that they could resume the responsibility of their own abode. The shelter would supply clothing. I’d personally give them a care package of basic kitchen and bath supplies. For some of the new mothers I’d prepare a layette for their expected baby. There are people who when you help them it is never enough. Yes, sad but true there are always those who will try to hustle you. The shelter helped me to learn how not to help too much! Enabling is not helping!

You really can be totally off by what you see. You really don’t know where they have come from or where they are going. Many of the couples had anxiety because in the shelter they were separated. Men and women where housed separately. My hidden agenda was wanting to introduce them to the Lord’s principles. To let them know that whatever they were going through, He already knows. Whatever they had done He knew and He loved them anyway. But He wouldn’t force Himself into their lives. They would have to choose for themselves. I did not try to force myself on them either.

There were times when I came into the shelter and many were having a bad day. The winters were interesting I
could see how the weather had an effect. Memories of sleeping under highways and under bridges can be a bit
overwhelming at times. I would just leave them alone. I’d Respect the fact that they just needed some space. There was little pretense in the shelter. You could often hear a barrage of colorful language in a fit of anger. The rules specified no foul language. Most of the residents would shoot pretty straight. They realized I didn’t have to be there. But most of them were respectful of the time I spent there. Initially I was provided with a counseling cubicle. They expanded the shelter and then provided me with an office equipped with intercom just in case of emergency! Sometimes they would just try me just to see if they could get a rise out of me. There were many times when I knew that this would be a first and only encounter with some of them. I still to this day appreciate what their straightforwardness taught me. There were so many who willingly shared their fears,
heartbreaks and accomplishments. Together we would set weekly goals!

My husband and I have between the two of us eighteen brothers and sisters. Some married, divorced and remarried as well as one that has died. Then there are the countless people I have counseled with. Not to mention friends and acquaintances. All of these experiences have given me an opportunity to see first hand the extreme diversities of life. To see through many lives the real up and down side of life and marriage. Not just to study or read about it. It has been a real eye opener. I realized from the homeless that many people just pass by them everyday. Some concerned, some appalled and some just distantly removed. Homelessness
does not make you less of a person. The best way to reach them is to just be your self. Be sincere because they can see right through you. It taught me not to be so easily swayed by what you see. Many singles, couples and families are without homes. People are homeless for many reasons. There were Christians as well as non Christians in the shelter. After awhile I earned their respect and was able to share with many of them about God and how a relationship with Him could really make the difference. Many had grown despondent and turned off by a pseudo form of Christianity. Many after having experienced false doctrine are despondent and don’t want to hear about God. You don’t need to force feed them God! I’ve talked to rich, poor and in between who don’t believe or want to hear anything about God. They are so disenchanted. Many feel that it just
doesn’t matter. They see people who go to church all the time. Yet they still say and do some of everything. So why should I waste my time? You only undermine the saving power of the Lord in their eyes when you talk right and walk left. We have to become better at presenting healthy Christian marriage role models. God’s stuff does work! We just fail to obey what He says. There is power in scripture! God is a Spirit of Truth! You see you can be in the Church but the Church not be in you. (That’s another whole book in itself.) I would tell them this. But I would also say don’t look at the people. God is so loving and patient. I would encourage them to recommit to developing their own personal relationship with the Lord! Get to know Him for yourself!

God is a Spirit of Truth! Again life is not happy ever after. But it can increasingly get better. We have many couples who are not homeless; but love is scarce. All the physical comforts may be readily available, yet, we should not ignore any facet of life. Marriages comes in all different shapes and sizes and places. In the shelter the men were on one side and the women on the other. The children could visit. But they were not allowed to stay overnight. The children were often left with relatives or in state custody. In the shelter there were people who got up took a shower got dressed in a nice dress, or suit and tie and went to work. Looking just as neat and clean as the next person. You would have never known they were homeless. Only if you followed them home; to the shelter. I said all this to give you a perspective on how homelessness affects marriages as well.

Addiction, dysfunction, abuse and financial hardship are components that can also derail any relationship. They don’t always result in one becoming homeless. Little habits gradually go unattended and then they snowball. You can be addicted to just about anything. Food, people, things, sex, pornography, drugs and or alcohol can become the center of your pain. Many will do whatever it takes to get a fix. But how ironic, you don’t really get fixed do you? Again it doesn’t matter the address or how much or how little in the bank account. I have heard such horror stories. A poor person is often referred to as having a “drug addiction.” A person who is affluent is referred to as having a “substance abuse problem.” People go to great lengths to hurt themselves as well as others no matter what they have or don’t have. No one really can afford to have an addiction. It’s dangerous! Just think about all the time, money and resources that are exhausted to support addiction. Emotional pain does not discriminate it reaches everybody!

Many people dive into marriage without realizing the depth of what the commitment entails. The emotional and or financial obligation of marriage can become overwhelming. Marriage is what you make it. But first and foremost it is a spiritual union. Marriage is the uniting of two souls as one. It’s not just an arrangement. It’s a covenant relationship ordained by God. It is the proper way to be fruitful and multiply. Marriage is the only relationship that God has set apart to experience a pure physical sexual relationship. God has given us sexual boundaries to protect us!

I realize that God allows people, places and things in our life for a reason. Each experience can help to mold and refine our character. Perspective makes a world of difference. How you view things is important. If you aren’t careful you can fall in a rut. You see I always remember if it wasn’t for the “Grace of God that could be me”. The shame of past experiences can keep you in the defeated mode as well if you are not careful. Yes, but God can deliver you! Old satan doesn’t want you whole. He wants you imprisoned in shackles. Keeping you stuck in neutral, stagnate. Bound in a cycle of sinful dysfunction. He will even find ways to make you feel comfortable in your addiction. When we refer to it as a disease such as in alcoholism we excuse its sinfulness. Try and break the cycle know he just wants you recycling another generation of hurt and confusion. I have seen many unfulfilled unhappy people who have married and sentenced themselves to a life of pain. If you are one, you can make a change!

If you suffer from severe depression get help! Did you know depression is anger turned inside. Learn to let it
go! Depression can really weigh on a marriage. You see on a personal one on one counseling level I met many
who had a lot of things or possessions. One example was this counselee who lived with depression for years. She would have various episodes and go off of the deep end. She would become violent and go on spending rages. The household chores would pile up. She would not cook. He couldn’t cook! He worked tenaciously to provide for their home. Her husband told her she was going to have to get a handle on things. That she would have to put some semblance of order in their lives. After years and years she gradually became paranoid and decided her husband was the one that was emotionally abusive. I am talking about an extraordinary and talented person. She would start all kinds of stuff. But just could not see them through. She could be sweet like a child. A real creative genius. A real Jeckle and Hyde personality. I was often perplexed by the contrast! The depression just overtook her life in every way.

She eventually filed for divorce and became very bitter. She was quite possessive and demanding. She felt that I had to choose her or him. I chose not to support her decision. Their was no real reason to substantiate her claims. I knew that she had neglected most of her responsibilities. I realized that the depression left her in a state of flux quite often. She often used it to manipulate everyone. Depression is really serious when it reaches the clinical stage. In most cases medical assistance is necessary.

One of my biggest flaws is I just can’t or won’t continue to fight with you. I am not wired for it. I can take a stand and I am certainly not afraid. But I just refuse to get involved in the “fuss-fight-makeup cycle”. If you want to come to some resolve “I can work with that”. I can meet you more than half-way, for as long as it takes. I must confess one of my weaknesses. I have somewhat of a problem with anyone trying to control me! Trying to demand me to do this or that, “I don’t think so” I can give up anything material. Ask my husband. Perhaps this is a cop out from your perspective. But it is the truth! I confess it is a flaw in my personality. This is an area in my life you can pray for me. I don’t believe in continuing to recycle junk. Denial of personal faults or weaknesses can be dangerous. All of us have shortcomings. I shared this to show that marriage as I said can have a “down side”. There are no easy solutions. A good marriage takes time, sacrifice and work! We have
a right to choose even if God has told us otherwise. But that does not mean we are right. God is so loving and kind that He allows us the freedom to do whatever. But always remember there are consequences.

Decide today things are going to be different. If you are the one with an addiction get help. Learn to clearly
face life. Quit living in the fog. The problem will still be there when you clear your head. Make it a priority to take control. Rather than be controlled. Get in the driver’s seat. Don’t spend another moment bogged down. Get to the root of the problem and deal with it. Commit yourself to a program if necessary! Life is too short! If your spouse has the addiction, change whatever it is you are doing to pacify them. Change how you respond to them. Don’t be an enabler. Let this be a wake up call. No don’t throw your hands up and say “I’ve had it”. You are possibly part of the problem to. Take responsibility for your part of the relationship.

Many times when a spouse has an addiction you might be unconsciously supporting their habit. The other spouse often becomes accustomed to having things their way. What I mean is when he/she is out of it you don’t have to deal with them. You can count on them indulging themselves to the point they don’t care what’s going on with you. It will give you free reign to do whatever you want. This gives you a false sense of freedom. It also can entrap you in an unconscious pity mode. Others see you and say poor you. By contrast you look like a victimized angel. Careful this can be a trap. After all, all they see is the patient, committed spouse. Of course their drinking or addiction has nothing to do with you. Be honest, if your spouse changed what would you have to give up? Perhaps none of the above apply to you. There are always exceptions to the rule.

Addiction is serious and will cause you to spend a lot of time and energy living in the downside of life. It fosters
an unhealthy, unstable environment when left unattended. The needs of both spouses go unmet. The spouse with the addiction is self-centered; they allow satisfying their unhealthy desires to be their main priority. When one feels consequences for their behavior it can often motivate them to change. I believe in “tough love”. You need to get their attention. I feel it is necessary to take a stand. Don’t support the addiction. Let your spouse know you love them. Separate the behavior from their actions. Give them an opportunity to move towards getting their addiction under control. Addiction is a control based issue. It will have your household under seize. Get help and some support for yourself to help you develop some healthy boundaries. Tough love works!

Addicts in general have no self control. Subsequently you and your household become controlled due to their lack of control. All sorts of demonic warfare is invading your home. Fear keeps you in a state of uncertainty. Let’s look at an example. Your spouse is responsible for paying your mortgage. In stead they decide to buy whatever substance they need for their addiction. Out of fear they fail to tell you they didn’t make the payment(s). You come home and find a notice of default or eviction. The mortgage has not been paid for some time. You are caught unaware. Or it could be your utility bill or grocery bill. In any case you cannot depend on them to take care of business. You must take responsibility.

Whenever your spouse drives under the influence of a controlled substance they put others at risk. Do you know how many accidents occur due to irresponsible drivers? How many die every day? How many drunk drivers drive themselves off the road? Please don’t take the gamble. Take or hide the keys to the car. Let them walk it off. Let them miss work. Let their supervisor or employees find out? Everyone knows what is going on anyway! Enlist the help of your Church family. It is important that they not become enablers as well. They should encourage you in your walk with the Lord. They should remind you that God loves you and how He can and wants to heal your hurts. Yet, they should also make you uncomfortable in your addiction. Perhaps this will be the catalyst for change. This is a very serious situation. It can be fatal. Drinking not only impacts the person but their friends and loved ones as well. Just what kind of example does this set for your children, or any other children? Children learn a lot more by what they see rather than by what they hear. Please get help!

Often an intervention is necessary. An intervention is simply creating a loving environment where spouse, family and or close friends confront the addict along with an experienced facilitator. Together they let the person know how their behavior has impacted them. Then decide together where do we go from here? In some extreme cases a trial separation period may be necessary. This is to undoubtedly relay to them their behavior is no longer tolerated. That you love them but you will no longer tolerate their behavior. You begin to draw a healthy boundary. Boundaries are not to alienate they are meant to say this is were I draw the line. Although you can not change them make it clear that there is certain things you just will not tolerate or support.

When we look at God’s standards we all fall short. I often hear “Your standards are too high”. But it is God’s
standards that we should strive to live by. They are high because this always gives all of us the much needed room for improvement. GOD DOES NOT ask us to do anything that we are not able to do! Start here today. Face whatever problems arise in your relationship. Quit sweeping things under the rug. Take your head out of the sand like the old ostrich. We should really learn how to reconcile our differences. Begin changing the things you can. Praying and asking God to direct you then proceed following His direction. A good marriage should exist as a healthy circle. You your spouse and God as the Center! Yes, we have a freedom of choice. You can choose misery. Yes, it does love company. You can choose to make life a quest for spiritual growth. Don’t just go to marriage seminars. You must actually apply the knowledge you attain. Get counseling. Do things together! Don’t wait until you get to heaven to experience happy ever after. Make it a reality to taste a slice of heaven here. ( You know what I mean). John did say “Repent, the kingdom of God is at hand”.

Being a Christian does not automatically exempt someone from emotional problems. Years of abuse and insecurity can nestle one behind a wall of confusion. Distortion, fear and anger become companions. Many people suffer from mental and emotional disorders. The power of God’s love can break down any wall! Marriage is a two way relationship. Often one party has to shoulder the major weight of the marriage when one has emotional problems. This can put a strain on the marriage. Deal with situations as they arise. Openly discuss what’s happening. Reach out get help!

God has really created us to be relational beings. Some of us require less interaction than others. Some require a whole lot of attention. Some are not happy unless they are the center of attention. A great need to be the center of everything becomes apparent. Stop being a people pleaser. This will only foster dependence in you. It also gives others power over you. This also gives them the power to undermine your confidence and put what they think first. You will never be able to please them anyway. Did you know still waters run deep? It frightens most people when they don’t know what you’re thinking. Let your confidence be in God. He knows your heart. Make it a priority to try and please Him instead. It’s really a lot easier. “It is in Him we move and live and have our being.” He has the ability to help you arise to every situation necessary. How do I do this? Begin to really study His WORD. Not to just read through it. Meditate and pray about whatever you are
reading. Ask God to forgive you of any unconfessed sin. You must spend time alone with Him! This will increase your spiritual awareness. Know for yourself first hand the awesomeness of His unlimited power. Just think there is nothing that is hidden from GOD. He knows without you speaking one word every single thing that has transpired in your life. There is absolutely no power, principality, sickness, or problem that He doesn’t have power over. God is a forgiving, loving and merciful God. God has created each of us. God has given each of us a unique temperament!

SEVEN THINGS TO PONDER

1. Misery is an everyday affair for many.
2. Addiction, dysfunction, abuse and financial hardship can derail any marriage.
3. God allows people, places and things in our lives for a reason.
4. Get to the root of your problem; and deal with it.5. There is always an exception to the rule.
6. Being a Christian doesn’t automatically exempt us from problems. But we do have a problem solver.
7. You don’t have to wait until you get to heaven to experience a bit of happily ever after.

NEXT: Chapter 8 – Do You Have A Temperture?