How Do I Love Thee – Lesson 6 – Ready for Intimacy
January 28, 2012 by DeBorrah K. Ogans
Filed under Marriage & Relationships
A strong Christian marriage must contain intimacy. We must develop a warm endearing closeness, a relationship in which we can be transparent. If your potential mate is the desired lifetime partner there should be not doubts in the area of trust. Marriage should consist of an ever increasing closeness. After all this should be the person who should be closer to you than anyone else? Remember the two shall be one flesh.
Intimacy does not just imply physical closeness. Many people engage in physical relationships without experiencing intimacy. Life experiences often help us to develop walls that emotionally protect us from further hurt. These walls create barriers.
These barriers must gradually come down as we learn to entrust who we are to our love one. This is why it is so important that Christians seek God’s counsel when seeking a marriage partner. When a marriage omits God’s principles and direction it can be a living hell.
GOD created us to have an intimate personal relationship with Him. Let’s practice by developing an intimate relationship with our potential spouse. The physical intimacy we later experience after the vows can be greatly enriched due to the depth of the relationship.
Intimacy can be delightful! Intimacy lightens your load and enables you to freely express who you truly are without reservation. The Bible tells us freely you give freely you will receive. Your marriage should ultimately be a safe place to express sincere intimacy.
When two come together in marriage they are coming from two separate living environments. The way in which their parents and family related have somewhat impacted their anticipation of what to expect in marriage. Consciously make an effort to abandon unhealthy relational dynamics that have been modeled. The two of you are unique; your marriage will be unique as well.
Seek God’s guidance and HIS direction. The two of you are embarking on virgin waters. Remember God knows all about each of you. When you sincerely beseech Him He has promised to direct your paths. You must be willing to be patient and willing to listen and follow God’s direction. How can you truly love someone without God because GOD IS LOVE!
LESSON HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT
Ask yourself this week; do I want intimacy in my marital relationship ? Write a paragraph defining what intimacy means to you. Be prepared to discuss the content of this lesson at your next counseling session.
NEXT:LESSON 7 – What About the In-laws ?
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I didn’t make her happy and I didn’t act like I loved her anymore or paid her any attinteon. I prayed for her to come back and chased her to prove how badly I wanted to be with her and after 2.5 years she gave my another chance and we got remarried after that and had 3 more kids. I didn’t want to loose her again so I did everything I could to make her happy. We went to counseling, we spent more time with our kids and each other, and I did everything I could to keep us together. About 4 years later, she started acting very distant towards me and the kids. She started spending more time with our best friends a couple we had known for 8 years, their 2 kids had been best friends with our kids. When I raised questions about this, she said that she needed time away from the family so I backed off. Over a 3 year period, she slowly was more and more distant and spending more time with friends. Her best friend over time confided in me that my wife was spending more and more time with my best friend, her husband and thought they were having an affair. I told her she was being crazy, that they would never do that to our families. Months after that, my wife became pregnant and I thought that this new child would bring us together. When she was 5 months pregnant , she came by my job with divorce papers, said you’re not the father and left. I was stunned and embarrassed. I didn’t want to believe it. I went home and all her things were gone and she went to the children’s school and told them we were getting a divorce. I called her and demanded to know why she was leaving again and she told me that she had been having a 2 year affair with my best friend and her unborn child was his. I broke down. To think I trusted her, and to hear that was disgusting. I went to his house and confronted him. He said that my wife loved him and she was going to leave me and we ended up fighting and his neighbors broke it up. The next night, his wife called me and said that he told her about the affair and the baby and that her husband was leaving her. I wanted so bad for her to come back and I still do. Its been 3 years and she’s still with him. After her daughter was born, we got a DNA test and he was the dad and now they also have a son together. He’s gotten a divorce from his wife and my wife is trying to divorce me again but I just want her to be with me. Call me crazy but, I love her and I still want to work it out with her. My children are very upset when they visit their mother as well as his children are upset when they visit and everything is very complicated right now. I’ve begged her to come back but she just won’t. I’m willing to forgive her and to except her two children, so is there anything I can do?