In a healthy marriage you are friends as well as lovers
SONG of SOLOMON Case study in PURITY & PASSION
This is one of the most loving, romantic and poetic Books found in the Old Testament of the Bible! Did you know that some of the most passionate “Love Songs” dating back to ancient Hebrew times were written by King Solomon? It was originally called and still is at times known as ” Song Of Songs”! Well after all he had (700) seven hundred wives and (300) three hundred concubines! If you ever want to hear some passionate love songs or romantic poetry look no more; The Song of Solomon is the perfect venue! The Key verse: “I am my Lover’s and my Lover is mine; he browses among the lilies.”
God who is LOVE is amazingly AWESOME! If you want some “Sweet Some Things” to read to each other this is the place! Now whoever said that The Word could not be sung? This Book is indeed filled with melodic romantic prose! In The Song of Solomon, King Solomon candidly speaks of love between a bridegroom and a bride! The sanctity of marriage is affirmed as well as a brilliant illustration of the Love God has for His people!
The world in which we live is saturated by the news media with tales of sexual escapades, sexual freedom, extramarital affairs, homosexuality and secret rendezvous of the rich and famous celebrities as well as politicians! Divorce is raging a battle against marriage! Any and just about everything goes … This is also attempting to take a stronghold on God’s Church! Many say you have to accept me as I am regardless of my sexual preferences because unconditional love says so? We are to love people not the sin! Sin is anything that separates us from God! God determines what is or is not sinful!
Did you know that sex originated in the Bible? Yes, It was created by God! How did sex ever become such a dirty word? Man tends to always pervert what God has made for good! The world tries to redefine marriage to suit whomever… It has been twisted and turned upside down by too many! Sex for some is a no strings attached, or just a wild activity of lust void of commitment and a mere wild expressed bodily exercise! In this case you are just giving away a part of you to an uncommitted partner…
It was really meant to be a holy union celebrating the “two becoming one”It is the closest form of body language that one can physically express to another; I Love you! The Word says; “And Adam said : This is now bone of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become ONE flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed.” Everything God made is good! It is when sex is practiced outside of the boundaries of marriage, not as He intended things begin to get complicated… Having sex is not bad or dirty. Sex was made for mutuality between husband and wife, each has a responsibility to one another! Celebrating love, experiencing one another in a pleasurable way, producing children and bonding together is all sanctioned by God within HOLY MATRIMONY!
If you did not know it, there is a lot going on regarding sex in the Bible! The Word talks explicitly about the consequences of “sex outside of marriage.” The world says no problem! “Go for it.” Remember; “Think fire out of the fireplace!” It’s possible but dangerous! The Song of Solomon is a poignant, emotional, moving poetic drama about love. In intimate details King Solomon bears his soul to his lover and she to him. Here is a wonderful illustration that is often over looked putting sex and marriage in its proper place.
Although some even say it is a story of God’s love for the children of Israel being expressed in an Allegory? Others say it is a story of married love. But really it is both! God Loves us! He wants what is best for us! He does not want us ignorant in anyway. It is so good to know that we are saved by His GRACE! As you read consider thinking on this fact that GOD IS LOVE! You cannot turn back the hands of time. But you can go forward in the Lord! It is never too late to start living His way! “All have sinned and fallen short of the GLORY of GOD!”
As you stroll through the corridors of “The Song of Solomon” remember GOD LOVES YOU! Seriously think about committing or recommitting to living your life His way? Think about inviting Him into the messiness and allowing Him to show you and guide you. Through the gift of His Holy Spirit He can show you how to bring order, peace, patience, kindness, self control, happiness, joy and so much more to your marriage! You also have His Blessings on your marriage bed!
Love physically expressed is powerful between a husband and wife! It can be a conscious time to solidify your marriage and honor your vows! This allows your inner beauty to glow and shine forth, sensitivity and sincerity encompasses mutual fulfillment! Keep the romance going by adding embers to the flame of your marriage! Although it began at the altar it should continue on day by day! This helps to keep emotional walls from erecting that can become barriers in your marriage! Time is so precious. Tomorrow is not promised! Make sure you take time to nurture one another! The Song of Solomon honors marriage!
Let us sample a taste of what Solomon shares. This is from The Beloved!
“Let him Kiss me with the Kisses of his mouth
For your love is more delightful than wine.
Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
Your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the maidens Love you!
Take me away with you, let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers…”
Solomon was the son of King David, he was chosen by God to build the Temple in Jerusalem. Solomon had bestowed upon him an extraordinary gift of wisdom. He wrote over (3,000) three thousand proverbs and (1,000) one thousand songs! The Song Of Solomon itself contains (7) seven poems! It gives a descriptive account about how they met. The engagement, the wedding and the procession, the actual wedding night as well as the marriage itself!
This refreshing romantic Book describes Solomon’s love for his bride in a way that captivates the refreshing and invigorating qualities that love brings forth! Although life can become very difficult at times; Marriage was meant to provide a committed partner to weather the storms of life! Your marriage should not consist of only major complaints, sorrows and problems. Nor should there be any physical, mental or emotional abuse! This is not what God intended! If your marriage needs to be refreshed, I pray this inspires you! Marriage should be a place where ultimate transparency, physical mutually satisfying intimacy between husband and wife can be shared! Coming together should be a time to lock all the trappings and disappointments of life out and invite in refreshing, excitement and reinforcing the cherished memories that brought you together!
The Song of Solomon says: “How beautiful are your sandaled feet, O princes daughter! Your graceful legs are like jewels, the work of a craftsman’s hands. Your navel is a rounded goblet that never lacks blended wine. Your waist is a mound of wheat encircled by lilies. Your breasts are like two fawns, twins of a gazelle. Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are the pools of Hesborn by the gate of Bath Rabbim. Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking towards Damascus. Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel. Your hair is like royal tapestry; the king is held captive by its tresses. How beautiful you are and how pleasing. O LOVE with your delights! Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit …”
As you mature your marriage should as well. It should age gracefully like a fine antique; they become more cherished and valuable with age. Cultures vary in their perceptions of lovemaking. There are some cultures that teach and encourage enhancing the physical lovemaking within marriage. There is a freedom that emerges when the couple together make their physical intimacy a priority. You become like “Epoxy” glue. Once the two components come together it is virtually impossible to separate! Love between a man and woman is priceless. Remember “GOD IS LOVE” and true love was meant to last through forever! It is not the same as what I call “Intoxicating Affections” that only mimic true love they do not last; but at some point will leave a residue of resentment! The key components of a great marriage is love, trust, mutual respect, understanding, devotion and commitment. When you say “I DO!” Remember, Loving committed marriages reflect God not domination and control! Your marriage should be a reflection of “How much you Love the Lord!” Remember no longer two but ONE. “What GOD has joined together let not man put asunder!” I hope you enjoy “THE SONG OF SOLOMON”!!!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
DeBorrah K. Ogans is a Marriage Educator, licensed Christian Counselor, Life Coach and ordained Minister. She is certified through the Sarasota Academy of Christian Counseling in Creation Therapy and holds a Master’s Degree in Biblical Clinical Counseling. She is the author of a pre-marital guide “How Do I Love Thee: Things You Need To Know Before You Say I Do,” her second book is “Holy Matrimony: Now That You’re Married” DeBorrah is eager to share and encourage all ages, her third book and first Christian Fiction Novel is appropriate for ages 10 – 110. It is “The Enchanting Legends of Shiloh Mansion: The Young King. DeBorrah has written extensively and has a plethora of columns and commentaries on life subjects that are widely published.
Do you need STRESS RELIEF?
Are you stressed? Is there something weighing on your mind? Is there some inner conflict? Is there something happening in your life and you don’t know how things will work out? You are not alone! At some point in time everyone experiences a certain degree of stress. Feelings actually lets you know that you are still here! A small amount of stress is actually healthy. It keeps you on your toes and motivates you to shift. Do you need stress relief?
Life today can be quite complex at times. There are many pressures on varying diverse levels, more so at times for some. You can actually worry yourself sick. To name a few stress affects your happiness, brings on acne, hair loss, weight gain, weight loss, high blood pressure, panic attacks, anxiety, impacts your sex drive as well as hampers your infertility. If you are experiencing a significant amount of stress don’t wait until you are completely over whelmed to find some relief. Conflict and stress are a normal part of life. If your patience is getting close to nil know; you are reaching your limit. Don’t wait until you explode and get really angry to express yourself. This will only further complicate the situation. While angry and out of control you say and do things that can be destructive. Begin to shift.
Stress is defined as; “Forces from the outside world impinging on the individual. Stress is a normal part of life that can help us learn and grow. Conversely, stress can cause us significant problems.
Stress releases powerful neurochemicals and hormones that prepare us for action (to fight or flee). If we don’t take action, the stress response can lead to health problems. Prolonged, uninterrupted, unexpected, and unmanageable stresses are the most damaging types of stress.” medicine net.com
When you are stressed it becomes difficult to respond properly. Many often become verbally or emotionally abusive. For some they respond physically , in an inappropriate manner when they lack proper coping skills. When stressed you can become tense, it may be harder to concentrate, you may even get a headache or your heart begins to race. This is a clear indication that YOU NEED to shift. Here is something that will help you. Imagine a cup of ice cubes being slowly yet gently poured over your head. Allow yourself to feel the coolness of the ice gently melting over you. Begin to Allow your anger to subside. Please! Think before you respond!
When the pressures of life begin to get to you it is important that you get a grip on your emotions. No, I am not saying go into denial! How you feel is important. Your feelings need to be validated. Depression will result if you don’t. Depression is anger turned inside! When it gets to this point you may need professional help! Seek out resources for anger management if you have “out of control behavior.” Quite often you have learned some unhealthy dynamics that need to be changed. It may be hard for you to just say how you are feeling without being so angry. Your anger is a clear indication that you are also hurting. This will often result in something or someone triggering your anger and setting you “off.” If this is the case know that you are being controlled by remote. Learn how to stay “on” track!
Here are a few ways to relieve stress.
If you are stressed? It is important to begin to spend some quiet time to unwind. Writing a letter to anyone who has hurt you is good. Express exactly how you feel. This is for your eyes only. Then tear it up and throw it away! You can also get an empty chair; imagine that the person is sitting there, and say to whomever has hurt you how you feel. Take control and release any anger, hurt, shame or disapointment! You are now beginning to take out the trash that has begun to weigh you down. Listen to some relaxing music, exercising, or just taking a walk helps. You now have decided to no longer let what has happened to sit on the shelf of your mind and ferment! You are now beginning to move towards letting it go. This also heps you move towards wholeness.
If your family is stressed? Set aside some quiet time aside from the television or any outside distractions and have a family “pow wow.” Allow those concerned to briefly talk about how they are feeling. Then have them talk about how things can be improved. It is helpful to have one of the children to moderate you will be surprised. Your objective is to create a healthy, loving , open, nurturing, safe environment.
Is your marriage stressed? You need to set aside some quiet time where the two of you can calmly discuss what are the issues at hand. Rekindle that love that brought the two of you together! Restore the JOY of just being together. When two together row a boat it gets to the desired destination faster. Having a weekly date night is great as well! Remember you cannot change what has happened. But you can decide to go forward. Yes, you will probably have to revisit where you have been. But this is to remind you of where you do not want to stay or continue to go.
Is your job stressing you out? You need to make an appointment to talk to your supervisor, boss, employees or co workers and let them know how you are feeling. Make sure you are not angry when you do this. Find a neutral spot if possible. Writing down what you want to say will help you stay focused. If you feel that you may lose your thoughts or say something inappropriate reschedule. Graciously delay it until you are ready. The point is you want to take control not loose it. If they are not willing; it make be better to begin looking for employment somewhere else. If you don’t at some point your health will become affected working continuously under such poor conditions.
Incorporating prayer and meditating on the scriptures will yield much peace in your life. Actively implementing the principles are key to resolving inner conflict and stress. The scriptures were meant to point us to a better way of life. To develop a personal relationship with God our Creator. God has provided a wonderful plan of salvation for all who are willing to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. Jesus is able to save you from the power of sin reigning in your life! Jesus came to show us that better Way! To help you discover your true purpose in life!
Stress again is a normal part of life. Taking the time to communicate your feelings in a healthy manner means you care. Redemptively confronting what ever the problem is or however you are feeling is always much better for you and those around you. Everyone has a not so good day from time to time. Don’t major in the minors! Just make sure that stress has not become the theme for your everyday lifestyle. Life is too short and precious to spend the majority of your time stressed! It is important to begin to work towards having a healthier balance in life. Begin moving towards creating a warm, more peaceful, safe and loving environment! Learning coping skills and ways to manage stress will also result in a healthier outlook as well as becoming healthier spiritually, physically and emotionally.